Challenge Day Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or If You Really Knew Me

This beginning note comes to you in 2 parts:

Part 1- Thank you all for understanding my situation with the finale of Degrassi, I really do appreciate it, I have had this written in my notebook but I don't have anything new written and I feel that you deserve something to read.

Part 2- I would like to ask you to please read the end note, it will explain why I am writing this beginning note and it will explain why I probably will not be writing for a longer time than expected.

Thank You. Enjoy the chapter.

"If you really knew me, you'd know that a few years ago my sister Darcy was raped and tried to kill herself. If you really knew me, you'd knew that I've hated her for it, after that happened, all of my parents attention was focused on her. It was like I didn't even exist. After she went off the Kenya, things went back to normal. When I came to Degrassi, I thought things would be great for the next four years. Boy, was I wrong." She scoffed.

"Things were great...for a while, I had friends, I had good grades, stayed out of trouble...I even had a boyfriend." She looked up through her eyelashes to quickly glance at KC who looked down nervously.

"But then, he cheated on me, I felt pretty alone for a while, I didn't think I would be able to trust a guy again. If you really knew me you'd know that for the past four months my parents have been fighting non-stop and my dad's been 'working' a lot lately. You'd know that I feel like life is always beating down on me and right now all I want is someone I can trust." She was sniffling a little and her eyes were filled with tears. She leaned on me and I squeezed her shoulder, Jenna was rubbing circles on her back and everyone but Adam was looking around awkwardly.

Jenna dabbed her eyes and said, "I guess I'll go next, um, I guess by now you'd have heard about me being pregnant. What you don't know is that both my parents are gone and I live with my brother. I can't have an abortion, it's too risky this late in the pregnancy and giving her (?) up for adoption just doesn't seem right. So I'm going to raise this baby with or without her father, I know I not ready to be a mom but I have to do this," Jenna was bawling, "and I don't know if I'll be a good mom but what else can I do?" Bianca had started to tear up too, KC looked as uncomfortable as ever, Clare and Adam gave her sympathetic looks, I kind of felt for her, Fitz was just staring off at the wall, and I know I should be a little more sensitive that she was spilling her guts but all I could think about was 'Did Clare notice that I still had my arm around her?'

After Jenna had finished, Drake had come up to our group and encouraged Bianca to share her story, after a little prompting, she agreed, "If you really knew me, you'd know that the tough girl you see at school is just an act. You;d know my mother verbally abuses me, and my father abuses mme physically and sexually. If you really knew me you'd know that both my parents are alcoholics and angry drunks, and every night I get shivers when I realize that they are on their way home," she seemed pretty emotionless while she was talking but then she broke down crying hysterically, "if you really knew me, you'd know that some nights I don't know where I'm going to sleep, and it's hard, there's nothing I can do about it, I have no one." What happened next shocked the hell out of me, Fitz hugged her. And not some lame-ass side hug, no, it was a full on 'I care about you' hug. Wow. Fitz actually cares about someone.

KC was next, well this should be interesting, "If you really knew me..."

This end note comes to you in one part.

Part 1- If you are a nerdfighter like me or follow the vlogbrothers on youtube then you would know that earlier this week, Esther Earl, proud nerdfighter, the girl who helped us raise $250 000 for the Harry Potter Alliance died at the age of 16 from cancer. All of Nerfighteria is mourning the loss of such a loving, charming, funny, and giving person like Esther. When I found out I couldn't believe it, it felt like my heart stopped. To put it in perspective, I felt the way you did when you thought Eli had been stabbed or like you felt when you heard JT had died. There are no words to express how absolutely amazing she was, she was an inspiration to many. Esther's name means "star" and I have hope that nerdfighters all around the world will not let her star go out. Some people feel the need to make something positive from grief, but like John Green said 'Sometimes you just need to stand there and be sad' but if you would like to contribute to her family to help pay for the expenses that came up though out her treatment you can go to hpalliance. Com / friendsofesther to donate. Also, I really wanted to get a silicon wristband like the ones her friends had made, I can get 20 000 for about 15 cents or 20 for about $2 I don't have any nerdfighter friends and no one I know would understand but if you would like one and if there is enough interest then I'll probably order some and give them out.

Thank You for listening, reading, review and supporting me. Rest in Awesome Esther. I know you will never Forget to be awesome.

Best Wishes.

Nicole.