I was too weak to move but I heard a door slam somewhere in the house and then there was nothing.

When I woke up it was night and I tried to gingerly stand, my ankle was still very painful but I managed to hobble to Damon's room using the walls as a support, I knocked but there was no answer. I called his name and there was still no answer, with dread and fear I opened the door to find it bare.

Damon is a vampire who doesn't like possessions other than his Ferrari anyway, but the few photos that he hung on his wall of us and one of him and me that he managed to get from a photographer in Atlanta were gone. I hobbled into his room and found them in the bin, the glass in all of the frames were either cracked or shattered, I checked his wardrobe and his clothes had gone. I sat on his bed and cried my heart out.

Stefan eventually found me, he was far from sympathetic. "What the hell have you done Lizzie? We took you in and treated you like a sister, you didn't want for anything and yet you repay our kindness by driving my brother away? I thought better of you, I really did." I started crying all over again, unable to find the words to tell Stefan how sorry I was, how I never meant for it to get this far but I was only doing what he had asked me to. "Stefan! It's not her fault, you can't blame her for telling Damon what you asked her to!" came Bonnie's voice from the door, Stefan hung his head and then turned to look at Bonnie, "that's not relevant Bonnie. There are other reasons besides that and Lizzie is behind every one. I'm sorry Lizzie, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave the house. I'll do all I can to help you find somewhere but I can't have you here any longer."

"You can't do that Stefan!" Bonnie sat besides me on the bed and hugged me. Stefan's face was cold with anger, I shrugged Bonnie off. "He's right Bon, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused. I didn't want any of this to happen." I got off the bed and started hobbling towards the door.

"What did you do to your ankle?" Stefan asked, he sounded fed up.

"Nothing, it's just a sprain," I muttered and carried on hobbling towards my room, then he was in front of me and holding me at arms length, he looked furious. "What about your neck?"

"I don't want to talk about it. It was my fault anyway, can I go and start packing now?" He looked me in the eyes and I could see the hurt in his almost matched mine. "Tell me what's going on Lizzie, you're like a sister to me and I'm worried about you." I shook my head at him.

"I'm sorry Stefan, I really am. What you said is right, I'm a waste of space who causes trouble for everyone and it's best if I go." I hobbled past him and felt him staring at me.

Once inside my room I broke down some more, then I packed up everything of mine and phoned Lee at work to tell him what had happened. As it turned out, the one person that I thought would always be there for me wasn't, "every time Lizzie. Whenever you have a row with Damon we have to move out, every time. I can't take this anymore, I'm sorry. I still love you but I can't be with you anymore, I want to be in a stable relationship without having to find somewhere to live every five minutes because you've had an argument. You need to get some help, I can't cope."

So my life was in tatters, over the next few days I felt numb, Damon had dumped Bonnie so she and Elena flew to the US to be with Meredith who was alone while Alaric was off somewhere doing a case study on his own.

Stefan found me a nice flat that he kindly paid for and helped me move, he told me how sorry he was to be doing with this but he said that it would be for the best and he wouldn't tell Damon where I was, so that there wouldn't be any more destructive arguments.

As I closed the curtains I spotted Stefan's Porsche outside the flats and I heard his voice in my head not to cry as he'd always be there for me and I'd still be welcome round his house- I was still his little sister, that made me cry and I eventually cried myself to sleep.

I woke up at about 5.30 in the morning, I felt miserable and lonely. I'd driven away everyone I loved and my world had collapsed, I had never felt so worthless so I did the only thing that someone as messed up as me would do- I took every pill in the house which amounted to about eight boxes of painkillers as if I needed them at work I went out and bought another packet and took them home to add to my ever growing and ever disappearing collection as I frequently lost them.

Before I passed out I wrote a DNR on a piece of scrap paper declaring that although I was mentally fit I had decided to end my life and I didn't want anyone to resuscitate me.

I woke up in hospital, Stefan was in a chair besides my bed. He looked really pale and tired, his eyes looked puffy as though he's been crying. For the first few minutes I wasn't quite all there, I have vague recollections of pulling the oxygen tube out of my nose and trying to cough up a tube that was down my throat, it was really sore and I asked for a cup of tea. Stefan was telling me not yet, then he went off and appeared with a cup of tea for me which I thought was really odd, he just smiled and told me that I asked him twenty minutes ago.

I drank the tea gratefully and felt nearly human, I lay back and looked at Stefan. "Why am I still here?"

"Because I gave you blood and ripped up you DNR note. I'm so sorry Lizzie, I never wanted to hurt you and I didn't realise that you felt like this." He took my hand and squeezed it tightly.

"It wasn't you Stefan, everything just got to me. Damon leaving, stuff that happened between us and then Lee leaving me. I couldn't cope and I didn't have anyone to talk to."

"You had me Lizzie! You could have called me day or night anytime! That's what brothers are for, you've always come to me with your problems in the past so why not now?" I felt mean and selfish and I just started crying, suddenly Stefan was leaning over me and pulled me towards him so I was pressed against his chest, he muttered stupid nothings until I calmed down.

"They're going to keep you here for a few days to make sure everything's okay.."

"Then It's the nuthouse," I smiled bitterly, "the one place I didn't want to go hence the DNR. Thanks Stefan, you should have just left me alone to die."

"Do you never learn? My brother just saved your pathetic, worthless life and instead of thanking him and being grateful you're still alive." Damon suddenly appeared inside the curtain surrounding my bed. "Why should I be grateful that I'm still alive Damon? Come to think of it why are you even here if you hate me that much?" He didn't snarl as I expected him to, he just hung his head and looked at the floor. "Look, it was nice of you to pretend that you cared about me and that I was your little sister, you're both really good actors and very generous, but I don't belong with you. I never did, I want you to finish the job you started Damon. You know what I mean."

"No!" He snapped, Stefan looked from him to me and sunk his head in his hands. "Just stop this! Please! Don't you see what you're doing to her Damon? You're making things worse, just tell her, please." Stefan looked imploringly at his brother, who in turn looked daggers at Stefan, fists clenched. "No, I want nothing more to do with her, brother. You may be able to cope with someone with this many issues but I'm not about to even try." With that he was gone again.

"See, I always drive everyone away Stefan. You shouldn't have ripped up the DNR."

"Stop saying that Lizzie! I don't want you to die and neither does Damon, you're just going to have to trust me on this one. Look, you need your rest and so do I. I'll see you tomorrow." He gave me a kiss on the head and walked off, I sank my head back on the pillow suddenly feeling exhausted and then I drifted off to sleep.

I napped throughout the night, every hour throughout a nurse came in to take my blood pressure and monitor my heart rate. They changed the saline solution bag every time the alarm on the machine went off, by the time the night shift came to hand over to the day shift I was exhausted and faced a constant stream of doctors and nurses talking about me and attaching me to machines and drips, I wished I were really dead so I'd be at peace from all of this, "you're not. So you'd better get over it and while you're at it, you might want to spare a thought for my brother who has barely eaten or slept in the 2 days you've been in a coma."

"What are you doing here? If you haven't come to put me out of my misery then I don't want you here." I sighed, Damon was the last person I wanted to see. "I'm here to say that none of this was your fault. Hear me out before you interrupt, at least allow me that." I nodded and Damon proceeded with uncharacteristic remorse, "I bit you back in 1992 but for you it happened the day before yesterday and you are understandably upset about it, if I had listened to you this would never have happened. My brother shouldn't have asked you to interfere between Bonnie, you did it because you wanted peace in the house. I'm having your stuff put back in your old room, it's my house and no one can argue with me."

"I don't want to go anywhere Damon. I want to die, I want you to end it for me. I'm so fucked up I can't even commit suicide right." I felt tears trickle down my face, Damon was suddenly besides me and then he was at the end of my bed again.

"I have to go away for a while Elizabeth, you need time without me to get better. When you're better I'll come back, you have my word and in case you don't believe me; because I know you, I've left you a little something to prove it. I'll see you soon Elizabeth." Then he was gone, I put my hands through my hair. My right hand felt heavy and there was a coldness on my middle finger when it touched my skin- I looked at my hand and it started to shake as I began to cry, he had left me his ring to look after.