Date Completed: Much later than I would have wanted it to be. Sorry. Life can interfere...

Pairing:

Disclaimer:

Summary: When Zuko asked to join the Gaang and teach the avatar firebending, he mentioned that there was "not very much time left," and they assumed he meant until Sozin's Comet. But what if there was another restriction on his time –one he hasn't told anyone about? (Much angst, drama llama, and romance-smut. Oh yeah, and a good dosage of omg NOOO! )

AN: Is it a cardinal sin that I just want to skip over all this crap and get straight to the angsty drama stuff? Usually I despise stories that don't give a solid base as to why certain things are happening... and I'm starting to despise myself for almost making this one of them. And so, I will deny my own wishes for this to speed up, and instead take my time setting the foundation. I may lose a reader or two in the process, but if it makes it better in the end it's all worth it. However, I wrote out an outline today for what I have planned... and am seriously getting frustrated. I can fit my entire story comfortably within a 15-chapter limit. This is not cool. I'm wondering if I should include mini-chapters (about 2/3 the size of an average one) detailing random occurrences of the Zuko+Gaang variety... Like... side stories... but not on the side. More like, thrown in the middle to take up space... Filler chapters! Yeah, that's what they're called... So what do you think?

Oh dear... and Calsifer... I've made him quite the lech, haven't I (although I must admit that was my intention...)? Still, I can't help but feel a bit sorry for the man. All he wanted was to bed the adorable prince. Unfortunately for him, our Zuzu's not exactly easy (nor having any idea why the hell some man would want to feel him up at the restaurant table). And I noticed that I accidentally switched to Cal's POV during their conversation then back... try not to get too angry at me, but it's a lot easier to write Zuko's reaction once I'm assured that Cal's really doing something wrong, and it's not just Zuzu being over-dramatic again.

There was no real reason he had followed the note's directions to "The City" once again besides mere curiosity. For maybe the second time in his sixteen years, Zuko was doing something without an ulterior motive, and it felt surprisingly good. Great, even. Was this how normal teenagers felt, going out with a friend on their free time? If so, the young prince could definitely see the appeal. No nations to overthrow, no one trying to capture him for treason –or no one for him to try and capture– it was a strangely free, uplifting feeling to be able to honestly say that he was doing this just for his own enjoyment. This even startled himself. When was the last time I just tried to enjoy myself and not doing it for someone else?

He briefly considered his "date" with Jin. While it was true that he had enjoyed himself, he hadn't done it for his own enjoyment. Uncle had expected him to entertain the girl's wishes, and Zuko hadn't wanted to disappoint his uncle further by disregarding her feelings entirely. So he had grudgingly agreed to a dinner date, followed by a brief candle-lit kiss by the fountain. Then, when he had returned and his uncle had asked him how the night had went, the boy had found that he had honestly had a good time. But had it been the time spent in the company of that girl that he had liked, or was it something more basic than that?

As the Crowned Prince of the Fire Nation, he didn't often have the chance to offer help to others, but it always made him smile and gave him a fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach every time someone thanked him for his help. Did he truthfully find himself at peace making others happy?

I guess that's not too far from normal though. I am the prince of the nation. I should care for my people and want to help them. Then why doesn't Father? The answer was obvious; it was because he wasn't a good leader. He didn't care for his people, or even his own family. And if he was a bad leader, he was a worse father. Though Zuko imagined that he probably wasn't the easiest child to raise – always wanting to go off and explore the world around him instead of listening to his instructors like his father had wanted him to. There was no question in his mind as to why Azula was Father's favorite. But at least I get to be part of the family again...

At the same time, Zuko found himself feeling smaller and more insignificant than he had ever felt in his life. Without a bigger plan, he was left feeling like the puppet once it's strings had been cut –all the freedom in the world with no idea how to get out and enjoy it. What was his purpose now that he had everything he wanted? And yet it didn't feel like he had everything. In some ways, being on the run with Uncle had felt more like home than even his own bedroom or his mother's garden and tearoom. Here, in the palace he should inheritly feel like he owned (because he one day would), he felt more of a stranger and less like himself. The last thing his mother had told him was to never forget himself, and deep down he feared he was doing just that.

Shaking his head to rid himself of depressing thoughts, the once exiled prince took the wrinkled piece of paper out of his pocket to re-read the instructions once more. As if I don't already have them memorized... The note itself wasn't anything amazing; messy green handwriting claimed much of it's blank surface, telling him in few sentences how to get to a certain restaurant and what time to be there, should he chose to take Cal up on his handwritten offer.

Which, for some unfathomable reason, he was.

To be fair, Calsifer seemed nice enough and didn't look as though he wanted him dead, which already gave the man a good place in Zuko's books. Zuko could count on one hand all the people he was positive didn't want him dead, and that was after including his uncle and mother. He still couldn't be sure about his sister, but he seriously had his doubts... And Cal worked at a clothing store; a fact that further soothed the prince's frazzled nerves. At least he was sure Cal wasn't going to be attacking him with deadly sewing needles or overstuffed pincushions.

So here he was, in the midst of "The City"'s nightlife, bumping and 'excuse me'-ing his way towards the center of the maze and the fountain that sat in the center.

Finally the fountain came into view, lit by hundreds of tiny floating flames. Zuko hadn't noticed it his first time through, but the buildings surrounding the square were actually open-patio restaurants connected by lantern-adorned pergolas (passageways of pillars that supported crossed beams and a sturdy open lattice). Weepy purple wisteria draped over the wood and hung precariously close to the small candle-lit paper lanterns, but the people of the square were too busy and thriving with life to worry about the possible danger. Besides, Zuko thought to himself, half the people in the city are firebenders. Instead of the customary tables and chairs that came with outdoor seating, nearly twenty low, curving couches had been set out under large clusters of lanterns in a half-circles around the square, facing the fountain. Before each couch-circle sat a low table, and from what Zuko could see, every one of them had half-eaten platters of food on them, surrounded by carefree teens and young adults. A band was playing on one side of the square and under the steady, thumping beat of the music and the lazy glow of hundreds of red-orange lanterns, Zuko felt the world fall away.

"Looking for someone?" The teen whipped around at the sound of Cal's friendly voice. The man's eyes flowed up and down his body, smiling at Zuko's "pretty" choice in dress. Despite his earlier misgivings regarding the older man's idea of beauty, Zuko had gone back to pick up the ornate outfit in the chance that he may need to wear it to a fancy engagement at a later time. Like now. But he was starting to think that he was a bit overdressed, seeing the simple gold and green robes Calsifer adorned, and he could feel his cheeks warming in embarrassment. This made the man smile all the wider and reach out to clasp the shorter teen on the shoulder.

Simple embarrassment, however, could never defeat the war-hardened prince.

The hand was shoved away roughly; the owner of said shoulder glaring with intent: "you had mentioned a restaurant...?"

Cal stepped back slightly, shaking his hand as though stung but was just as stubborn as the young man. "Uh,... right. Right this way..." then he was off, twisting through the pulsating crowd like a phoenix-python through the brush. Zuko could only gape at the spot the man had disappeared incredulously. He offered to take me out to dinner... just to abandon me? Suddenly the familiar face poked between two people in front of him. A hand was held out for him to take.

"Coming, your Highness?" Normally, the prince would be offended at teasing tone of voice. This time, the boy decided to ignore pride in favor of that carefree smile and enchanting eyes, and let the hand find his and drug him off into the night.

"So, you're telling me that the biggest threat to our nation's a twelve-year-old boy?"

"That's what I just said."

A small, amazed whistle. "It's just hard to imagine, ya' know? I mean, here we have the best firebenders in the world, and we can't stop some kid?" His companion bristled at the implied insult. However, the older man had much experience with soothing frazzled nerves, and cut in with a pat on the teens thigh before the prince could work himself up and leave. "Shh, now I didn't mean it like that. He's just a kid... we'll get 'em." Still, the younger male was obviously not in the mood to deal with any political talk. No problem, Calsifer was a pro and knew how to get the ball back in his end of the field. One exaggerated yawn later, he had his arm draped across the back of the couch the prince was leaning against. A few complaints about there being not enough menus (ignoring the ones he had stuffed under the table upon arriving) and he had the petite prince flush against his side as he read off the teen's fare. He had the prince practically in his lap and boy was doing nothing if encouraging it.

Presently, the dark-haired temptation was gazing up at him with molten mead eyes, and Cal could only inwardly curse the teen's age –sixteen was too young to drink, although it would make things much easier... But the boy was frowning; he obviously had missed his question.

"I don't know why I'm here if you're just going to doze off mid-conversation," the prince huffed, crossing his arms and turning his head towards the fountain. A calloused hand gently gripped his chin and brought it back to gaze into magnetic eyes.

"I'm sorry if I've offended you," the man began, holding electric contact with the boy's eyes even as he reached into his pocket, "but I can't help but get lost staring. No, not at your scar," he added, feeling the teen try to turn the burned portion of his face away. "Even without that mark, you are very striking to look at, Prince Zuko." Finally, he looked away, retrieving a parcel from his pocket and placed it gingerly in the young prince's hands.

Confused gold eyes met green, and he was ushered to open it with a smile and wave of the older man's hands. Zuko looked down at the golden-wrapped package about the size of his fist and felt a rush of regret well up in him. Suddenly, even his feet seemed much more interesting than those soulful green eyes. "But I didn't bring anything for you... I can't accept this." Warm hands found his face and again their eyes clicked, but this time he couldn't force himself to look away.

"Pretty things deserve pretty things," Cal whispered cryptically, leaning forward until their hair intermingled and their noses were almost brushing. Zuko found his body burning with anticipation for... something... and could only hang onto every word spoken like a lifeline keeping him afloat. "Besides..." Cal closed almost all distance, so that his mouth hung just a breath from Zuko's unblemished ear. "I wantedto get you something. And I invited you, so it's only suiting that I bring you a gift to thank you for coming."

If he could have controlled his mouth through his embarrassment, Zuko would have argued that it wasn't so much an 'invite' as directions on a piece of paper, but because he couldn't open his mouth without embarrassing himself, he settled for frustratingly tearing into the paper covering the gift in his lap. He bet is was just some girly thing anyway–

All thoughts stopped short at the sight of his gift. His eyes darted from the gleaming gold, still in his hand, to the older man and his eyes widened. Taking one end of the chain in each hand, Calsifer brought his arms gently around the prince's neck and fastened the necklace, leaving his arms in the loose embrace even after it was clasped. The thin gold chain hung to the center of the boy's collarbone; the pendant (a ruby dragon and sapphire sea-snake entwined) coming to rest just a few inches further down. It could easily be hidden with nearly any shirt, but was tasteful enough to not need to be hidden if he didn't want it to be.

Zuko understood the meaning behind the two dragons. His people believed that the dragons were the first firebenders, and also that one needed to separate the two halves of their personality to find balance –of if you were a bender: lightning. This necklace was a well-wish for eternal bending, something that was given (mainly to a dear friend) as a way to say "I hope you live a happy life" because to a bender, the flame was their life. For once, the stoic prince was touched.

"I think I'll just call your cute blush repayment enough."

Of course, it didn't take much to sour his mood, and he was again slapping a hand from squeezing his now-red cheek between thumb and forefinger. This was going to be a long night.

Nearly two hours later, an exhausted (and stuffed) firebending prince crept through the doors to the inner walls of the palace. As much as it pained him to admit it, Zuko didn't hate the afternoon spent with Calsifer. The waitress had returned minutes later with their food. From then on, they were both too busy stuffing their faces to bother keeping up the pleasantries, although Zuko wasn't usually much for talking anyway. Good food, a gift to take home, and he had a home to come back to. Overall, it was much better than his last bout of free time for dinner with another person (although that was probably due to the lack of females to make him nervous).

And he had found that he actually had some things in common with someone near his own age, which was rare for him. Calsifer, it seems, had quite the hefty trust fund, but had been working at the clothing store to prove a point to his father who didn't think he could work for his living. Unlike Zuko, however, Cal had never went back to his father, and instead seemed much happier on his own, making his own destiny. Which made him wonder, was he doing the right thing coming back here...?

From around the corner, Zuko could hear two of the maids chatting as they were doing their rounds. With the reflexes borne of the Blue Spirit whilst he had been in Ba Sing Sei, he leapt behind the nearest door, pulling it closed behind him. The room around him being dark, he didn't worry about his shadow showing through the thin Shoji screen-door, and leaned gently against it. Voices were getting louder, nearer, and he urged his heart to cease it's frantic beating, lest he be found out. It was late in the night, and he didn't want to have to explain himself to anyone. Sure, there would be no consequence, as prince, but instinct ruled him now and instinct could not be reasoned with.

"Do you remember Shina complaining of those stomachaches last week?" A pause, presumably a nod. "Well do you know what Lady Konowae told her was causing it? Shina's going to have a baby!!" The maid squealed excitedly at the prospect of a child, but the other girl didn't seem to be as content with her answer.

"Just from a stomachache? That's hardly symptom enough to jump to that conclusion."

"No! The Lady did some kind of special magic spell that told her exactly what was going on. I heard from the cook that she gave him those herbs that cured his tonsillitis last month. She's got to be the real thing!"

Soft, pattering footsteps faded as they turned the next corner, and their silent eavesdropper was left squatting lightly on his heels, still holding his breath. When he could no longer hear any trace of the two girls, Zuko leaned forward into his knees, chuckling at his own fright. Then his small chuckles turned into small coughs, which escalated into deep, wracking coughs that shook his thin frame like a bear-dog with a chew toy. The tremors left as quickly as they came, leaving the boy slumped against the door, breathing heavily. Zuko frowned, rubbing his still-sore throat with his right hand. I thought I was over that cold... As much as he doubted the abilities of this healer lady the maids were talking about, he supposed it couldn't hurt to get this checked out.

The next night he would leave the palace soundlessly, stealthily, like a wraith. He would encounter no one that could describe the event in a way any more than "a black shadow" and slip into "The City," where he would locate this Lady Konowae. Money talks, but gold was also a good motivator to keep silent, and she would speak of the prince's visit to no one. And if she turned out to be the fake he expected her to be... may Agni help her.

Her booth was a small, silk-enclosed tent that reeked of incense and spilt liquor, sandwiched in between a weapons tent and yet another curio shop. He had pulled back the flap and stepped inside to be assaulted by an even stronger scent of vanilla and jasmine tea; Uncle and the Lady would probably get along great. Seeing a low table set out in the middle of the small space, he sat himself on the nearest cushion and studied the cards that were sprawled haphazardly across the oak surface. Two were face-up near him –a card reading "The Fool" and the other "Judgment."

"Oh, ignore those cards, Hun," a soft voice came from behind the curtain at the back of the room. "For the tourists, those things are, hardly gonna tell you what's really in store for you. Some reason they seem to like 'em though..." A withered hand pulled back the curtain and the little old lady hobbled over, knees creaking dangerously as she sank into the cushion across from him. Magnified gray-blind eyes found his behind her huge round glasses and she smiled at him, showing off her shiny pink gums. "Fire Prince Zuko, how may I be of assistance?"

He was straight to the point. "I've had this cold for nearly a month. I was wondering if..."

"If I might be able to tell you what's wrong? I get that request quite often, I can tell you... So," she began, reaching out and grasping his startled hands in her own wrinkly ones, "is there a cough as well?"

"Yes, but–"

"And what about headaches?"

"Well, sometimes–"

"Bouts of dizziness?"

"I passed out the other day, but–"

"Weak feeling in the extremities?"

"Not really..."

"Having a hard time firebending? Coughing up blood? Can't stay awake?" She leaned forward menacingly with every question until her crooked nose was inches from his face. He could only shake his head no before she dropped his hands, leaning back and started gathering up her cards. "Well, that's good to hear, sunny. Just drink lots of fluid and you should be fit in a week."

Zuko found himself staring at the old woman blankly before her words caught up with him. "So you're telling me that after a month of suffering, I just need to drink more water?" An amused nod. "But what about the maid from the palace? She said you did some kind of magic and told her she was pregnant!"

"Do you want me to tell you that you're pregnant?"

The boy's mouth fell open in shock. "Relax, boy. I only do my "magic" when there's a specific spot on the body that ails ye. You have a cold, or at worse, a type of flu." She shuffled the cards a few times with the fluidity of a professional player and set them gently on the tarnished wood. "Care for a reading? For you, it's free."

"You just said it was fake."

"The cards, maybe. My readings are always true." With a wink, she dealt out four cards regardless. The first card was flipped up –The High Priestess.

"Ooh, a good one. The Priestess speaks of the inner voice." At his cocked eyebrow, she continued: "It is a sign that your own intuition is trying to send you a message, that only you can create your own destiny."

He shivered at the cold that crept up his spine. The next one was flipped as well. This time when he shivered, it was due to the heat making itself known in his cheeks.

"The Lovers represent relationship and sexuality. Your personal beliefs will change, along with what you value most dearly."

She toyed with the edge of the next card before it too was flipped over to join its brothers. She shook her head and clicked her tongue against unseen teeth.

"The Tower is never a good one. It represents a terrible opposition against you, and a long plummet to defeat."

The last card was flipped and she didn't have to tell him its meaning.

Death

Zuko packed his belongings in a sort of trance, leaving behind more than he probably would otherwise, and seemingly dead to the world. Shirts were thrown on top of picture frames, followed by shoes, blades, food, and whatever was within his immediate reach.

It was obvious to him now, what was missing before. When he was traveling with his uncle (trying his best to shove down the spike of guilt and regret the thought brought up), he had someone waiting for him at 'home' that honestly cared about him. Azula didn't care, nor Ty Lee, and despite the feelings that used to be so strong, he was positive that Mai no longer held any affection for him. Then he had had a sense of purpose that was severely lacking at the palace. This was no more his home than Ba Sing Sei was, and even there he felt wanted. But where did that leave him now?

Unbidden, the face of a smiling airbender flashed through his mind and he roughly shook it away. Sure, he had been offered friendship before, but had denied it in his own stupidity. There was no way they'd take him in now. However, it was obvious from the last time they had fought, that the Avatar still needed a firebending teacher. If he could somehow... Still, he needed to find the Avatar and his friends first. Luckily for him, he was a pro at stalking them.

Feeling more alive than he had felt in a long time, Zuko took up his belongings and left the palace much the same way he had earlier that same night and took off after the Avatar once again. But this time, he would create his own destiny.

AN: Yay, I'm not dead! This chapter is 4,570 words long. Amazingly... short. And it only took... four? Days.

Forgive the Tarot card thing. I enjoyed it.

And someone asked for Ozai's take on all this, so let me explain why I'm not going to oblige that request: his dad's the Firelord, and doesn't have the time of day to observe every little thing his children do, let alone what his -recent UN-exiled- son whom he scarred does with his free time. The only reason he even had a take in the show was because Zuko decided to openly challenge his father's way during the day of black sun. In this fic, however, he just had his fortune read to say that he's going to die. It's understandable that he's a bit shaken up, and just wants to get away. So no arguing with Daddy. Sorry.

Next chapter: Our little Zuzu tries to join the Gaang, only to meet Katara's water whip!