"Why are you doing this to me?" Alexa asked, catching both Addison and Derek off guard. They both looked at their daughter, forgetting all about the fact that they in a room with two police officers there questioning them for the upcoming conviction trail. "You have to know that you are making me miserable."
"Alexa, this is hardly the time or the place to finally break your silence and complain." Derek replied, not making it seem like he was at all upset for her sudden confession in present company. "We've been urging you to tell us how you feel about all of this for days."
"Well I wasn't ready. Now I am." Alexa snapped. "I hate this, I hate you people. You think that your money can fix everything. You barely started tolerating one another! Not to mention that I don't even know you and you don't know me. You have no idea who I am or what I like. You think everything would be just like how it was but that's not how life works!" she said with her voice getting louder with each passing second.
"I've seen plenty of cases like this, Alexa. I promise you, it get easier with time. You may feel like strangers now but over time you realize that they love you and they honestly want what's best for you." the investigator told her in complete honesty.
"No, you don't get it. He's not my father, he can never be. He didn't teach me how to ride my bike or swim. He didn't read to me or play catch with me..." she rambled until Addison interrupted her.
"But he did stand by my side for 36 hours because you took your sweet time coming out. When we took you home he was the one that woke up every time you cried. He spent hours panicking over every cough. He would hold you and you'd stop crying. All he had to do was look at you and you'd giggle for an hour. You were a Daddy's girl and chances are
you still would be if you were never taken." Addison gave her snappy response.
"Yeah, and you think just because you gave birth to me it automatically makes you my mother." Alexa scoffed. "You have never done anything. You've never held me while I cried. We've never had one of those long pointless talks, you haven't tucked me in or read to me a single time. You haven't done anything a mother does for her child."
Addison couldn't look at her daughter while she spoke. She waited for her to finish talking then got up and walked out of the room.
Derek looked at his daughter in disbelief. He was surprised that such simple words could hurt to such extent.
"Maybe we should reschedule this." the sheriff suggested.
"Do I have to go with them?" Alexa asked. "Why can't we just drop the charges against my dad so I can go back with him?"
Alexa walked out of Meredith's house with hesitation. She knew her father was probably sitting on the steps of the porch, most likely lost in thought about how horrible his perfect life had become. She wasn't sure what to say to him but she knew that her earlier statements had hurt him. So she walked out the door and sat down on the steps beside him.
"I'm sorry." she whispered.
Derek turned his head toward her, just noticing that she had joined him. "What?" he asked
"Addis- she was right." Alexa began, although she couldn't go through with actually saying her mother's name. "And she doesn't need an ego boost so don't tell her that but she was right. Everyone I've met over the last couple days kept saying what an amazing father you were to me. I shouldn't have doubted that at the police station. I shouldn't have embarrassed you like that. You're really trying now and I've been a pain in the ass..."
"You don't remember anything from when we were still your parents, you have a right to question it. George Walters was there from you as far back as your memory goes." Derek answered. "Addison and I- we're strangers to you. And it's hard for you to adjust to having a whole new lifestyle with very different people than you're used to."
"It's weird to have a father who doesn't want to have sex with me." Alexa mumbled under her breath. "And it's really weird to think that you actually love me or care about me."
Derek's face twisted in disgusted, and he even gagged without being able to hold it back. He did his best not to let his breakfast make a reappearance from the thought. "It never really crossed my mind that he would do that to you. It should have...it's obvious but I...I don't know how a father or a father figure could do that to his child."
Alexa shrugged. "I used to think it's normal for the longest time. I mean...he's the only person I've ever really know. I never met anyone, I never went to school. I actually had to teach myself. Once I realized that a father isn't suppose to want to...do that, that's when things got bad over there. I was in the ER that day because I thought I had internally bleeding after a bad night and I convinced him it was something that could kill me. That's the only reason he brought me here."
"Well, if it was internal bleeding it could have killed you." Derek told her. "But Addison never mentioned that, and trust me, she ran every test she could name to make sure you were okay. And trust me, I'd never do anything to hurt you, no one in your life right now would. We all love you, Alexa and we want the best for you."
She nodded. "I know. I guess once she leaves it'll be easier when it's just you and Meredith."
"She?" Derek asked, looking into her eyes before he could understand who she was talking about. "Your mother?"
"Not my favorite title for her but yeah..."
"You know that she loves you too, right? Possibly more than everyone else combined. And she went through hell for years while you were gone and she never really moved on." Derek informed her. "I wasn't alone in being an amazing parent when you were little. She was great too. She would do anything for you, she gave up so much just to be able to spend half an hour more with you everyday. You were her only priority for that one year we had you."
"But she's a different person now." Alexa pointed out.
"Well yeah, she is... losing you changed her, the end of our marriage changed her. She's not as confident as she used to be, she's not as out going or social, not as happy but she's still a strong, independent, determined woman and that's what I fell in love with." he explained. "She's not as different as you imagine."
The next morning Addison walked out of her office to see her daughter standing right outside her door, obviously contemplating whether or not to go in.
"Alexa.." she started hesitantly, unsure of the reason for her daughter's visit.
"Dr. Montgomery." Alexa answered nervously as she looked up at Addison with her nervous rattling.
"Look, I know we're not close but you shouldn't feel like you have to be formal with me." Addison replied. "I don't expect you to call me 'Mom', you really don't have to. I understand that it's something I'd have to earn. But I want you to be comfortable talking to me." she said, holding the door open for her daughter to walk in so they would have the discussion privately.
"Dad tried to convince me that you're not a bad person and he wanted me to talk to you. He says you're gonna leave eventually." she shrugged, not knowing what else to say as she took a seat on one of the chairs in front of the desk.
"Yeah, I was suppose to but I don't know. This hospital is kind of growing on me, I might stick around. Richard needed me here just to cover for the peds surgeon who's on maternity leave. But he offers me a contact every time he sees me. One of these days I might accept it. What he's offering me makes my job in New York seem like nothing." Addison explained. "Wait.. 'Dad'? You saw him?"
"Oh, no...I meant Derek. Not him." she assured immediately. "We've been talking a lot since that day at the police station. I feel a lot more comfortable with him now, I kind of understand what everyone meant when they said he's a great father."
"Oh." Addison responded and looked down at her hands, feeling a sense of pain she couldn't explain with words. Regardless of the feeling, she smiled brightly, glad to at least hear that Derek was able to reestablish the bond between himself and his daughter.
"I looked you up online..." she started approaching the subject slowly. "Did you know that almost every major metropolitan hospital has a gossip site? Everyone's dirty laundry is on there."
"No, I didn't know that. But I can't say I'm surprised."
"You have your very own section on both the Seattle page and the New York page. I read like a million blogs about you." Alexa said. "And not too many of them were good. I know all about the affair and the abortion. I know that you stayed with that guy after Dad left. A lot of people called you a whore...and I can't say they're wrong."
Addison's brows both shot up. "Excuse me?"
"I just can't see myself respecting someone like you as my mother. I don't really know you, and you don't really know me but I don't think I want to get to know you and I honestly don't want you to get to know me. I don't want a mother like you. You're not the same woman from that dream, which I don't have anymore by the way."
Addison held back the tears in her eyes and nodded, assuring her daughter that she understood and didn't need further discussion. "The only thing I want, Alexa, is for you to be happy. So if that's what you want than I can respect that. I promise you, I'll sign over full custody to your Dad and Meredith and you'll never have to deal with me again."
"You spoke to your mother?" Derek asked in shock when he saw his daughter walking out of her office. "That's great, kid! I'm proud of you. I'm sure it means a lot to her that you're trying to work things out with her."
Alexa smiled at her father, although it was just a mechanism to fight the guilt. "Yeah..."
I know, I know: This kid is really starting to become a pain in the ass. Don't worry, from this point on she gets less and less bitchy as she realizes her mistake.
So the whole story is written. But college starts this Monday and I'm terrified that I'm not gonna have time to remember to breathe. So if you feel like I'm forgetting to post message me and annoy me until I post. If it's been over a week since the last chapter was updated than start bugging me for the rest. I hate incomplete stories so I don't want this to be one of them, especially not if I have the whole thing written.
And don't forget to leave a review.