Sorry been a while – work was insane last week. Will be a lot of chapters up this week – FD

Chapter 9

Lois felt Richard's hands squeeze her shoulders and she had to force herself to stay still, and not shake him off. The pain she was feeling was so unexpected and intense that she felt like a person struggling to breathe, needing a deep breath but the calmness required was not to be found.

Red-hot needles of anguish were piercing her heart and a hidden precious part of her soul had been ripped open with his words. It was like a part of her had been exposed to sunlight and without any nourishment the light was overwhelming it.

She felt salty tears roll down her face and fall into her hands as for the first time in years she cried for a loss, a loss for something she wasn't even aware of.

"Lois, are you alright?" Richard asked her

She couldn't talk to him right now. "How can I talk to him when I had no idea what I am feeling," she thought before she stood up and turned away from him to get his hands off her shoulders. "I have to go," she blurted and ran from the house. She ran down to the end of the pier next to the plane and threw herself down, leaving her feet dangling off the end.

"Oh my God, this hurts so bad," she thought as the tears continued. "Clark, Superman, Kal-el is the same person and he's right I have been blind to him all these years. I am either monumentally stupid or I just wasn't that interested in the reality that I never saw it all. How can I love Superman when to touch him, to yearn for him, to be driven wild by him was a drug and all the time it was Clark and I didn't see him? How shallow have I been! Was the image of Superman what I loved or was it something more? Clark said that once I knew about Superman and it nearly killed me why would that have killed me?"

As she sat there over the next hour thinking her way through everything, her tears slowly dried up and her sobs lessened. The pain was still there but Lois's natural toughness and endurance was slowly making its way to the surface. Anyone watching would have seen her look of pain be replaced by one of resignation before it was quickly followed by a look of fierce determination that was at odds with her gentle smile.

"You aren't getting rid of me that easy Clark," she whispered under her breath before she stood up and walked back into the house and said "Richard, we have to talk."

To be continued . . .

Please review. I love to read peoples comments and it keeps me very focused.