Brennan once asked Booth if we ever recover from the death of loved ones, and he had explained that we never recover but we survive, and it is not a fault in the design, it is simply we are sent only what we can handle. That we let the marks that people left on us fade naturally when they leave, but we never recover. Except there was fault in the design, we are not designed to lose a child. We are not designed to bury our offspring, we are not meant to say goodbye to them, and they are not destined to be put in a hole in the ground before our eyes. How do you even recover from something like that? How do these marks fade? They are scored in our souls and you don't get past that ever.

Three months have passed, where booth stayed in his apartment, locked in except when Jarred or Brennan passed by and kept some food at the kitchen counter for him, or when the bug man and sweets came to his place to share a drink or two. He still refused to talk to anyone, not much putting up a fight against his friends, he simply gave up on everyone, and he would not listen anymore. He locked himself in his own dark world, a place Brennan was too afraid of.

Booth did not drown his sorrow with drink, nor gambling, did he give up on anything even easing up his pain? He did not want to forget the hurt, he wanted to feel it every day every minute and with every breath he took. He knew getting drunk would only serve one purpose; few hours of numbness and he was on a mission, don't ease the pain and maybe just maybe die of a broken heart.

Rebecca did not try to get in contact with Booth, after the funeral they said their goodbyes and closed that chapter of their life forever, those ties that bind, are broken now and forever. But Rebecca did not expect Booth would not be at his Son's grave. She was there every Sunday laying flowers next to headstone that read

Parker J Booth

Son

March 30 2001 – 01 Jan 2011

There was no need to add any qualifier to the word Son, he was loved and everyone knew. Rebecca was getting frustrated with Booth, she expected him to be talking to his son at least every Sunday, but he was never there, she had met Brennan several times, but Brennan always left the grieving mother alone with her son as soon as she approached. No words were spoken, what is there to speak about. Brennan would sit there tell Parker how much his dad loved him, making up excuses every time, She was afraid if Booth was correct about life after death that Parker would be disappointed that his dad was not talking to him. She was frightened that Parker would feel like he had failed everyone one of them specially his dad, that he was not brave enough or strong enough to hold on. So she came every time, with daffodils telling parker that they were her favorite flowers and she wished to share them with him, that she knew that he was a boy and boys at that age did not have favorite flowers but rather toys. She brought books and read to him, rather read to the wind blowing around her, but still she waved away the sense of ridiculousness and continued her weekly visits. She wanted Parker to be prepared for when his dad comes and sees him. She was hoping it is going to be soon. It was Parker's Birthday in week, and knowing Booth – did she really know him now – would not miss it.

Didn't they teach us at school that spring starts on 21 March, where winter and the cold fade and sun rays start to find their way back through our windows down to our darkened apartments and souls warming up our cold pillows in the morning, tickling our eyelids until they open welcoming a new day? But this is not how Booth welcomed spring, he refused to let the sun shine, he refused to let himself get warmed up. He closed all the curtains before he went to sleep at night every night, making it a habit for fear he may forget one day and the sun will intrude and find a way back to his life. The first warmth he felt on his skin was not from the blocked rays of the sun outside his window, but rather his once called partner's hand touching his fingers.

"Booth, Wake up"

"…..mmm"

"Booth, you have to wake up, come on Booth" Brennan softly whispered.

He opened his eyes slowly, and closed them back when he saw her moving around the bed trying to get to the curtains on his window.

The last he had spoken to her was at the morgue, when he told her that this was his boy; those were last words he uttered to anyone for that matter. Sometimes she would miss his voice; she would call his phone until his answering machine would pick up.

"You have reached the humble kingdom of Booth, King Booth and Prince Parker are unable to answer you call right now…. We are out chasing dragons …." And you would hear the giggles of a little boy and then her own voice calling that this is ridiculous.

She remembers the day they chastised her for having a lame message on her answering machine and decided to show her how it should be done. They were laughing so hard at the end of the recording and they promised her they will fix her message next time they came to her house. But they never got around doing it. Too many crimes too little good times make you forget.

Back in Booth's bedroom, now lit with the warm sun of March, Brennan was determined to get Booth out of his apartment and to his son. It was parker's Birthday and she knew Booth will have regrets if he did not spend time with him today. In a year's time or ten year's time he would always blame himself.

" Booth, I am not leaving you today, you can ignore all you want, but I am not leaving you today" she told him using her most convincing voice.

He opened his eyes looked at her only to cover his eyes again with his arm. He sank back in his pillow and took a deep breath. It was not one of those cleansing breath you take, it was more –I have hundred stones on my chest – breath.

But he spoke, softly but with no less determination than her

" My boy will always be ten years old bones"

As if that sentence explained all, how he would never see his son grow, how he would never see him going out on his first date, how he would never help him mend his first broken heart, how he would never cry at his graduation, and how he would never embarrass him during his wedding with a goofy speech, he would never hold his grandsons and granddaughters in his arms and he would never kiss him and tell him that he is proud of him and how he would never tell him that it is ok to let go of your old man because it is time to go now. He had planned a life with Parker, and none of that will be happening now, for his boy will always be ten years old.

A/N I would like to really thank you all for sticking by me and encouraging me, thanks for lovely reviews, I did not mean to make you cry, but would it make you feel better if I tell, I cried just as much!

I have the flu currently, and I just want to crawl into bed and sleep, but I thought I will try to get some more writing done. I will try to keep the update regular. Still appreciating your reviews, keep them coming and don't be afraid to point out anything you do not like in the story or even the things you like ;) wink.