Chapter 13

AN: Thanks so much for the reviews... Sometimes things make me go, "Whoa!" I am not (Besides Justin Timberlake!) a hip hop aficionado... I got a PM while I was writing this story (I was on this chapter) from Jevans. She said that I should write a song based on Trey Songz "Can't Be Friends."... Out of curiosity, I read the lyrics, and went, "Holy cow! That's my story!"... How is THAT for a "Whoa" moment? :).. Just doing a shout out to Jevans, for thinking of me anyway!... Back to the story... . Now we are getting somewhere!

Penelope laid there for a long time after he expressed his "gratitude". She heard his heavy breathing slow down to even breaths. She felt the tears prickling the back of her eyes, burning her nose. She hated crying with a passion; she needed to get up and get out of there before she started sobbing like an idiot.

She rolled away from him, but he was too quick. He lassoed her with his long arm again.

"No," he murmured, pulling her close, her back to his front. He wrapped his arms around her, and began to breathe evenly again.

Penelope swallowed the tears in her throat and felt the warmth of his embrace, the heat from his body, and his gentle breath over her cheek, slowly lull her to sleep.

At around noon, she woke again. Derek had made love to her again in the middle of the night, this time much slower, much more languid. The last time lacked the desperation of the first time. It was a lengthy, slow burn, their bodies stretched out against each other in a full contact, like a long, open kiss. Her orgasm came upon her gently, like luxurious waves lapping against the shore of the ocean.

They'd fallen asleep, still joined intimately, his forearms tucked under her shoulders, holding her close. A long time later, he'd rolled off of her, disposed of the condom, and held her tight again. It was like he couldn't bear being apart from her for more than an inch of distance. She knew how he felt; being near him was paradise.

This was giving her a headache. Her body felt incredible and her head ached. She was so freaking confused. She didn't know how he felt. He made love to her with so much passion and caring. She knew it was love making; there was no doubt anyone could make love like that and not mean it.

Then he'd said Thank you.

She'd decided to distance herself, and he pulled her into bed and held her like he couldn't bear to let her go.

But he never said he loved her.

Sighing, she realized she really did need distance. She needed time to think, to sort out her jumbled heart, and refresh her mind. She couldn't do that when he was so near; he overfilled her senses. She was saturated with Derek Morgan here, and that wasn't a good thing in this case.

She moved a little, trying to get up again.

He held her tighter, kissed the side of her neck. "Where're you going?"

"Derek, it's afternoon on Sunday; I need to go."

"I thought you brought a bag this time."

"That was clothes for today," she said regretfully. "I need clothes for tomorrow."

He sighed, then released her. She dressed and he watched every move that she made. When she was fully dressed she turned to look at him.

He was laying there, like a lion sunning himself, with the white sheet tucked around his waist. He gave her a lazy smile. "Come, kiss me goodbye, then."

Her heart panged uncomfortably in her chest. He was doing it again, confusing her. He wanted her to stay, but let her go with minimal fuss. He'd even helped fasten her bra!

She leaned back, putting her hands on both sides of his shoulders, and lowered her mouth to give him a quick kiss.

He pulled her into his arms, kissing her a little longer, a little stronger, running his hand down her back. Then he pulled away and slapped her butt. "See you tomorrow, then."

Penelope stood on shaky knees, and walked her confused head and twisted, aching heart out his door.

Sunday went quickly, and Monday morning arrived, with Penelope's head still aching. It had gotten so bad, she took an aspirin after she woke. The worst part being, after all that thinking, only one thing was more clear to her: she was definitely in love with Derek Morgan.

She didn't mean for it to happen. It was a slow, determined process, but she got there. It was so different than the immediate infatuation she had with Kevin, and different than just feeling overwhelming lust like she had in the beginning for Derek. It wasn't just friendship, either. She went from loving being with him, to never wanting to be apart from him, in what had felt like a hair's breadth of time.

Yet, she knew it was a long time, an accumulation of all the things Derek was to her over the years, added with the tender charm and passion he'd shown her over the last few weeks.

Slowly, he became her everything.

Still, she didn't know exactly how he felt. She hated that. Kevin, when he said he loved her, just came out and said it. I love you, Penny, dear. She'd thought she'd felt the same thing when he'd said it, but it paled so much in comparison to what she was feeling now.

Her head was still hurting when she pulled into the coffee shop near the BAU. She was hoping some caffeine would help her headache.

"Hi Penelope," the barista said. She was a frequent customer; the employees knew exactly who she was.

"Hi, Carla."

"The usual?"

Penelope nodded. "With an extra shot of espresso, please."

"Oh," Carla said, giving her a sympathetic nod. "Long night?"

She giggled, which made her head hurt more. "Yeah."

"Penelope?"

Penelope turned to see Winston Rhodes, a tech over in the computer crimes task force. He was a very nice man, and unlike most other male techs she knew, very nice looking.

"Hi, Winston." She made her way over to him while Carla prepared her drink. "How are things over in CCTF?"

"Good," he said, nodding. "How are you doing?"

She noticed that his question was more personal, not related to the BAU. She took it that was because news of her breakup with Kevin reached the other departments. The computer world was very small.

She gave him a cautious smile before continuing. "Good, actually. Keeping busy."

They chatted for awhile, and Penelope enjoyed the conversation. He was really a nice guy; Kevin didn't like him, so she never really got a chance to chat with him before.

"Well, I suppose we should go," she said.

He glanced at his watch. "Goodness! That went fast!"

"It did," she added with a smile.

"Listen, Penelope, before you go," he said with some hesitancy. "The team and I get together Mondays after work, to make the start of the week not as rough. Would you be interested in going with?"

"Thanks," she said, "but it would be awkward. I'm not part of your team."

"No," he said, blushing, "but I'd like you to come as my date."

Her heart took a jump. She wasn't expecting this at all. She liked Winston, he was nice, but her heart was elsewhere occupied.

"I'm sorry, Win, but I'm..."

She stopped herself. What was she? She wasn't taken, she couldn't say that. What was she? She paled as her stomach began to churn.

"Well, in case you change your mind," he said, handing her his number. He looked up at her, then asked quickly, "Penelope, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she said, turning and walking away from her coffee and a rather stunned looking Winston.

"Good morning, princess," Derek said as usual, catching her in the hallway as she arrived from the coffee shop. Derek was a morning person and started work at seven most days.

"Morning, Hot Stuff," she said, heading towards her office.

He began to follow her, which was no big surprise to her. Derek always followed her into her office. She wished he wouldn't today; she didn't know how facing him was going to feel.

Penelope put her computer bag in one corner, and her purse on the edge of her desk. Adding to the chaos of her day, her purse tipped over, and the contents spilled haphazardly on the ground.

"Damn it!" she growled, dropping to her knees to pick things up.

Derek was already bending, scooping up things that rolled, flew, or slid closer to him. He picked up a slip of paper.

"What is this?"

Penelope looked up from her hands and knees position on the floor and saw him holding Winston's phone number. He was frowning, giving her a questioning look.

Shit! She thought. She meant to throw it away, but she was surprised in the coffee shop, she didn't have a trash can until she got to the office, and she didn't want to litter. Now, this probably looked bad.

She quickly scrambled to her feet and took it away from him. "It's a phone number to a friend."

He arched his brow at her. "A friend?"

"Well... he asked me out," she said with a blush, looking away. Regardless of how innocent it really was, it was awful to be caught with another man's number! She tried to say she turned him down, but he spoke too quickly instead.

"Are you going to go out with him?"

Penelope's heart seized in her chest. Did he really think she would go with some other man after... after what they'd been doing together? She couldn't picture being out with anyone besides him any more.

He gave her a look, waiting for her answer. He looked placid, like he was asking about lunch. Like it was no big deal.

Suddenly, Emily's comments about the friends with benefits came up, and nausea rolled through her. Penelope realized she was wrong, dead wrong. All those things she thought meant more to him, all the things she was hanging her heart on, hoping for... didn't mean diddly to him. She was a casual fuck, someone to use that basement pole, and that was it.

Trying to remain calm, trying desperately to mask her hurt, she looked at him and raised her chin. "I was thinking about it."

"Really?" His voice was flat and neutral, but his eyes darkened just a little bit.

Penelope was far too upset to notice.

"Yes," she said, her voice barely a whisper. She wished he'd leave, more than anything on earth, she wished he'd go.

"Sure. Have fun," he said with a smirk that was no where near friendly.

"I will," she snapped, choking the words out past her rapidly closing throat. She turned towards her computer.

"But Penelope, before you go," he muttered with a growl, reaching over and grabbing her by the waist, hauling her against him.

She gasped and stared at him as she collided with his chest. He was looking at her with such heat and intensity, it made her shiver. Her mouth was agape.

He obviously wasn't feeling so casual after all!

"Before you go out with him... think about this."

And he slammed his mouth down on hers.