Chapter 14
AN: Thanks so much for the reviews... We're here! Only the epilogue left after this...Remember his thoughts about red lipstick?...
His mouth was rough, dark, and hard as he kissed her, allowing her no quarter against him. There was so much fire, so much hunger behind the kiss, it startled her. She stood stock still, wrapped in his arms, tight like banded steel around her. Her breath became his, her heart beat at the same cadence.
He thrust his tongue in her mouth, taking possession of hers, stroking against it and causing her to moan. He ran his hands up to her head, threading his fingers in her hair, tugging a little, as he tilted her head to deepen the kiss even more. She arched up against him in helpless response, running her hands up his back to stabilize herself, and hold him.
She felt a deep tremor move through his body when she flattened her palms against him, pressing him even closer. With a quick movement, he backed her against her desk, so that her bottom rested on the edge. He slid his thigh between hers, his hips against hers, as he continued to consume her mouth with licking, biting, smoldering kisses. She leaned on him and the desk, her knees weak and her mind even weaker at the moment.
And then he stepped completely away, removing his mouth, his hands, his thigh in rapid succession. She slumped against the desk and opened her eyes in confusion.
He was glaring at her, barely restrained fury and lust battling for dominance in his smoldering eyes.
"Think about that when you're out with him," he growled, as he stormed out of her office.
Penelope slumped in her chair and brought her fingertips to her mouth, frowning in shock and confusion.
Then slowly, she began to smile.
Derek had had enough. He wasn't happy, not in the least bit, about the way he acted in Penelope's office. He'd lost it completely. The minute he saw that number, his heart stopped. What Prentiss said about Penelope thinking this was casual reared its head to the surface and he'd lost it.
Because this was anything but casual to Derek.
When she said she was thinking about going out with that other guy, he saw red. No, that was too mild. He didn't just see red; he'd seen multiple shades of crimson, maroon, ruby. Along with that, his stomach clenched and his heart seized.
And it hurt.
He'd given everything he had to give over the past few weeks to her, hoping to change her mind, get her thinking about him as something other than a friend. He saw the way she clenched up and looked nervous when he'd begged her to stay, and when he'd slipped and said she was his.
He wanted her to see for herself that it was right between them. He wanted her to take a chance on them, see him as a lover, not just a friend. He didn't want to force her into loving him.
After today, he wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her, saying You're mine, damn you! Don't you forget it!
However, what he wanted to do, and what he should do, didn't always mesh.
If he continued to pressure her, he'd lose her as his friend, and he didn't want to do that. However, he didn't think he could go back to being just friends with her, either. It was a hell of a conundrum.
He thought this would work. Knowing she wanted him, knowing she was free of Lynch, gave him such hope. He thought she would see him clearly as what he was- a man in love with her.
Now, for the first time, he was sorry they'd ever started this affair. He was sorry he'd given this a chance. He was sorry he'd even fallen so hard for her in the first place. Prentiss was so damn right...except instead of just breaking her heart, his was broken, too. Either way, there was no choice but to end it. He couldn't do this anymore.
He wasn't going to worry about Penelope. She was probably out with Winston, right now, getting her broken heart mended. He'd heal with Jim Beam tonight, and Johnny Walker tomorrow...Jack Daniels the next night.
He heard a knock on the door. Grumbling, he stood up to answer it.
"Hi, Hot Stuff, can I come in?"
Penelope's heart was racing. She hoped she wasn't completely wrong. She hoped she was doing the right thing. Any which way, it didn't matter. She needed answers from him, and she was going to get them.
He stepped aside and she walked in. She started slipping her shoes off.
"I thought you had a date," he snapped at her.
"No," she snapped back. "I said I was thinking about it."
He scoffed and started walking downstairs to his bar area. He poured himself some dark brown liquid and shot down about half of it, before answering her, "He's probably a real peach. Just your type. What's there to think about, sugar?"
He looked calm on the surface, but she knew that was deceptive. It was almost frightening. He had intensity like a caged tiger, and hinges were just about to break on the door.
"Lots of things," she said quickly. "I hoped you could answer some of them for me."
He took another sip, then smirked at her. "I'll try."
He was mocking her with his look, one eyebrow arched. He looked like the devil may care player he used to be when she first met him. So different than the Derek she'd known over the past few weeks, the one that gave her hope again. She was taking a chance on him, and-
"Hurry it up, P." He smirked again giving her a nasty leer. "You may not have plans, but I don't have all night."
The way he said it begged for the question, Who do you have plans with?, but she tossed it aside and said her question instead.
"Do you want to be friends with me still?"
Her question obviously startled him. He finished the drink, then held up the decanter, gesturing towards it. "Want one?" As she shook her head no, he poured himself another one. "Suit yourself."
"Derek-"
"Me wanting to be friends with you is not in question," he replied, heading towards the futon they'd made love on so many times. He took a seat and crossed his ankle on his knee. He gestured for her to sit, but she shook her head.
"I will always consider you my friend, Penelope," he said quickly. A lot of the agitation he seemed to have washed away, the emotion of their friendship rising to the forefront. He paused, taking a deep breath, "I will always protect you with my life. I promised you that, and I swear on my word."
"That's good. I don't want to lose you-"
"P," he interruped, sighing wearily. Now he simply looked exhausted, worn out, so unlike his usual energetic self. "Tonight is not the night for this. If you have other questions, say them. I'm tired and need to go to bed."
"Do you think sex with me is good?"
"No." He put the glass down and laughed, but it was bitter. "To say good would be a lie. Sex with you is fantastic. The best I've ever had, God help me."
"Do you want to continue having sex with me?"
His lips tightened. "Well, after saying that, I'd be a fucking fool if I said no, now, wouldn't I?"
"Good. I'd like to-"
"But I am not sharing you," he snarled, interrupting her. "No way in hell."
Penelope's heart started to sing again. That possessiveness sealed it. She felt the same way; she'd kill, non-violent pacifist that she was, before she'd let another woman near him. She knew it for sure now. He loved her. That response sealed it for her.
"That's great," she said, fighting back a smile and failing miserably. "I wouldn't want to share you, either, cupcake."
He looked at her with some confusion in his face. "P, wha-"
"One more question, Derek," she interrupted. She sat next to him now and looked at him with a soft smile, her heart in her eyes. "Do you want to have a relationship with me where we say I love you, and really mean it?"
As understanding dawned, Derek began to smiled back at her. "Sweetheart, I already mean it when I say it to you."
"As a friend, yes-"
This time, he interrupted, putting his hand on her cheek. "No, baby. Like a man in love. Every single time."
Her eyes teared as she realized the implications of that statement. "Oh, Derek."
He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Penelope, I can't ever be just friends with you. You have never been just a friend. You've always been so much more."
"I love you," she whispered, touching his chest lightly.
He leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss. "I love you, too. So much."
She snuggled into his chest, into the familiar spot now that had her name on it. "Derek, do you still have plans, or can you sneak me into your calendar?"
"Hmmm...let me see," he said, smiling. "I think I can pencil you in. How about everyday, for the rest of my life?"
She smiled, then climbed over him, straddling his lap. "Sounds like a perfect plan," she said as she lowered her mouth to his and melted into joyful oblivion.