Lois had not enjoyed her visit to Smallville. The visit itself had been ok but the many questions posed by Lana were racing around in her mind and it had created a deep sense of unease within her. The ugly realisation that she was the cause of so much pain in another person was something that she hadn't taken into consideration over the many years she had known Clark.
In his superhero persona she had admired and associated only the very best qualities but in his real persona she had only associated unflattering qualities and pushed his good qualities to the back. "Comparing the sun to a light bulb is pointless but in isolation a light bulb is a marvel of engineering and a necessity of life" Lana had told her.
Lois knew she had always held all men, except Richard, up against the man of steel. Richard had come into her life when she had needed an anchor and his easy manner had made it easy for her to "settle". She had needed to settle as that was the only way to make her life work but she now knew that she had come to love her life exactly as it was right now. It was real and it was the life she had chosen.
"I love my life and Richard," she thought to herself as she sat on her deck after arriving back in Metropolis, "It's real, Richard makes my life feel safe and I know it is not an all encompassing love but neither is it chaotic and my life is chaotic enough without throwing that type of love in the mix."
It was at that moment that Lois let go the anger and hurt that had been festering away inside her over the years. She took back ownership of her own happiness and allowed the dream to die. It would always be a fond memory and she would always have a beautiful momento in her son but she let the dream join the many wonderful things she had done in her past to the past.
She couldn't take back what she had done but she also couldn't continue to beat herself up over her actions, but it was time to take responsibility for what she had caused.
"Superman, I know you can hear me and I want you to listen to me, you don't need to come visit me I just want you to listen to me," she said aloud.
"Clark, I'm sorry", she paused to allow that to drift away into the night air, "I'm sorry for so many things but I am most sorry that I disrespected your feelings and never treated you with the dignity and friendship you deserved."
"In my heart I think I always knew you were Superman but having to face that fact would have lessened Superman in my eyes, and my own ego-driven vanity wouldn't let me face that reality," she said as she brought her knees up and rested her chin on them.
Looking out across the pier and the nightlights of Metropolis she continued, "Clark, I can now see that our relationship over the years has been about how I feel when you are around and never about how you feel and I just took it for granted, it was so easy and you were so undemanding. Clark you have always been there for me in whatever guise you have been in."
"Our futures are unwritten Clark, even yours no matter what others may think about your destiny. In our future I want to be your friend, I want an adult friendship with you based on mutual respect, understanding and the real love of friends. I love Richard and he will always be in my life but I also want you in my life, not for me, not for our son but because I would like to be friends with Clark Kent."
"I want to be friends with the Clark Kent who stands by his friends, who loves unconditionally, who helps old ladies with their groceries, who empathises with the needs of others and always thinks of others before himself. I want to be friends with Clark Kent because he is a wonderful human being with such a huge capacity for goodness."
She listened to the gentle breeze and felt such peace as she said, "I would like the opportunity to get to know the real Clark and if you give me that chance I promise I will treasure the gift of your friendship forever. You once offered me anything in the world and I naively assumed you meant the world but now I know that what you were offering was bigger than the world."
"Clark, please let me be your friend?"
Hearing a small noise coming from the corner of the deck, Lois turned her head and said "Clark? Clark is that you?"
"No, its just me," said Richard as he walked around the corner.
"How long have you been listening?" Lois asked quietly.
"Long enough," he replied and then walking up to her Richard sat down next to her on the bench and silently put his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "Lois, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm proud of you, so proud of you and I love you."
"I love you Richard," she said before hugging him and saying "this whole thing has confirmed to me that you are the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and there can be no more secrets between us."
Richard didn't reply as Lois continued, "I was standing on the street getting a coffee when there was an almighty explosion in the sky above Metropolis, a planes' engine had just disintegrated and we all watched in slow motion as the plane started to pinwheel down towards Metropolis and that was the start of my adventure with Superman."
"You don't have to share all this with me," Richard said, "I don't need to know everything you know?"
"I know, but for some reason I want to tell you everything," she replied before continuing the story of Superman and Lois Lane.