CHAPTER XV: SMALL DIFFERENCE MADE

Rosie was tending to some small burns I had suffered during the fire escape. It hadn't been as bad for me as it had been for Heimlich, who had taken quite some damage when he almost fell into the fire. However, Slim, Francis and Manny were looking after him, and he was almost better.

I don't know how I had been able to fly then. I tried afterwards and found that my wings were healed, but that I wasn't able to fly quite yet.

However, I had a hunch: the willpower to help a friend in need. That was very strong. Willpower was strong anyway, but that was the strongest kind of willpower, no question.

There was no doubt about it now: these guys were my friends – especially Rosie. But something was different about this compared to my fellow beetles. You'd think socializing with other species would be harder, but...

Something was different about these friends, yet I couldn't quite put my foot on it...

'Done,' said Rosie wrapping one last leaf bandage around my back left foot and knotting it tight. 'You'll be fine now.'

As had always been the case so far, I was far from fine. In fact, I didn't know if I had ever been less fine. Once we'd put the fire out, we searched the tent, but there was no sign of the Chief Hornet's body. That made me sure she had escaped, and brought news of my whereabouts back to Queen Maula. I was certain a squadron of hornets would come back and capture me. The circus bugs would be no match for a squadron – one was bad enough, but a full dozen hornets?

I quickly brought my attention back to the present. Thankfully, Rosie hadn't noticed anything.

'I did good?' I asked, just saying something to divert her attention.

'Good?' responded Rosie. 'You did brilliant! You... saved our lives...'

I chuckled, the same chuckle that I had given Francis yesterday in response to that little joke of his. Rosie chuckled too. For a few seconds, we just chuckled – as one. It was then I realised something very important. Rosie and I... were kindred spirits.

'One thing...' continued Rosie, as she sat down on the ground next to me. We were outside the tent – which, surprisingly, hadn't taken much damage at all from the fire – and the moon was just coming up as nightfall began. It was like the night Cora and I had talked... the memory made me shiver.

'How'd you fly? You wings are still broken...' she asked. It was only then I realized something even more important. But how could I put it into words?

'Well...' I wondered, looking around for inspiration. I then noticed a small pebble on the ground, a few feet away. Looking up at the moon, back to the pebble, then at Rosie, I had a good idea. And, what's more, it was visual, and it had meaning...

I quickly jogged over to the pebble, clasped it between my two front feet, and jogged back to Rosie.

'Here, here,' I said, passing it into her hands.

'Web it up,' I stated. Rosie's expression matched the confusion I suspected, but she did as I told her. Now, the pebble vaguely resembled the circular moon that hovered high up in the sky. Now I could explain it...

'Pretend that's a moon,' I said to Rosie, jerking my foot at the web-bound pebble Rosie was holding. She looked confused but didn't question me.

'Now, you see our moon?' I continued, looking up at it. Rosie did too. It was costing me quite an effort to focus and not think about the last time I had looked at the moon.

'Everything that made that BRIGHT moon glow is already contained inside this dim moon here. All it needs is some time, a bunch of darkness, a sun, and ... Cosmic!'

Rosie looked back down at the pebble again, even more befuddled then before.

'So this pebble's gonna float in space?' she wondered, more to herself then to me.

'Dim to bright, you gotta look at it that way, OK?' I said, taking the pebble back and clasping it between me two front feet again.

'Now, you might feel like you're strong, but that's because... well, you're not bright yet. Give yourself some time – you're still dim.'

Rosie now appeared to understand it more.

'So...' she wondered.

'Dim today, bright tomorrow,' I stated, surprising myself with the strength of that metaphor. It hadn't been easy. Rosie's still-confused state broke into a smile.

'I knew I made a good choice,' she almost laughed.

'About...' I said, wondering what she was talking about. Rosie's smile faded, but she didn't look sad – if anything she looked like the Mona Lisa.

'My best friend...' she said.

I stood there, slowly realizing what she had just said. I... was her best friend?

She must have noticed my state of confused wonder, but she didn't give any sign that she had. Instead, she stood up and moved off towards the tent.

'Goodnight,' I heard Rosie say to me sweetly as she walked away.

For what felt like hours I just stood there, unaware that any time was really passing at all. Eventually, whether five seconds or hours later, I turned around and went back to the tent.

Slipping under the cover, I saw that Slim, Francis, Heimlich and Manny were all asleep. Rosie was curled up on the ground, with her eyes closed, but I could tell she was awake. I paced around in a circle under the backstage cover before I finally tucked my legs in and settled myself on the ground, closing my eyes.

'Goodnight,' I said to Rosie. A slight shuffle where she was sitting told me that she had heard me.

Several seconds passed, before I felt someone cuddle up to me, as though we were sleeping together. I knew it was Rosie. Her resemblance to Cora was uncanny, especially now. Why did I have to sleep with her first?

Rosie was still dreaming – in particular, about Dim. She saw him dancing for her while she watched, eating a bag of snail popcorn that P.T. had leant her. The Chief Hornet was chained up, also watching Dim show off. Rosie felt on top of the world. She and Dim... were one... They would look out for each other... for eternity.

Suddenly she awoke. How could she have let herself dream something like that? She almost hated herself for doing it. Why, why, why?

Muttering something inconsistent, she cuddled herself slightly more tightly around Dim... only to find that he wasn't there. She was sleeping on the ground, as usual.

Rosie almost screamed out in panic, but she managed to keep herself silent. Looking around, she saw that all the other circus bugs were still there. But where was Dim? Had more hornets kidnapped him in the middle of the night?

Somehow she didn't think so. If he'd been taken, there would have been some sign of a struggle. Not only that, Rosie would have woken up, because she's a very light sleeper. But where had he gone?

Maybe he was outside the tent... It was worth a try. Doing it silently, so as to not awake any of the other circus bugs, Rosie crept under the tent flap to outside. It was the middle of the night, with the only light coming from the moon – which was as bright as earlier – and the scene was silent. Rosie looked around... and a startling scene met her eyes.

There was Dim, standing the ground only a couple of inches away. He wasn't sleepwalking – Rosie could tell he was wide awake, even though she could only see his shell plates – and yet, he was talking, apparently to himself. This didn't surprise Rosie; they did say that was a sign of madness, yet she didn't think so. To her, Dim was anything but mad. He was actually quite smart, Rosie thought.

Dim didn't seem aware that Rosie was watching him. Very slowly, Rosie tip-toed a little closer. It was only when an inch separated them that she could hear what he was saying.

'But I didn't know,' Dim said, not troubling to keep his voice low (he thought he was the only one outside at the moment). 'Appeasement wouldn't work – I know it wouldn't.' Rosie continued listening, too frozen to make a sound.

'I... let you all down,' Dim continued. 'Especially you... Rosi – Cora!'

This explained a great deal to Rosie. Maybe this "Cora", who was probably a fellow beetle, was very similar to her. She'd had a feeling...

'You're my colony, my family,' mumbled Dim. 'After that swamp chase... you all liked me... because of what I did!'

Rosie continued listening, too interested to say anything herself.

'I never wanted that,' said Dim, so quietly it was barley audible. 'I want friends who like me for who I am... but that can't be. I can't do ANYTHING right. I'm a loser...'

Rosie couldn't hear anymore, it was almost killing her. But she wouldn't want Dim to think she was eavesdropping either. Without alerting him, she slowly crept backwards, ducked under the tent flap, crawled to where she had been sleeping, and settled herself down in the same position. She pretended to be asleep, in case Dim returned.

An unknown period of time passed, before she heard Dim coming back and sitting down next to her where they had been earlier. Rosie easily feigned sleep. Within a few seconds though, she felt Dim cuddling up to her, in almost exactly the same way as she had done.

Very slowly, she returned the cuddle, as though she was merely resting her head on a really fluffy pillow. She could tell Dim didn't know she was awake.

Slowly, they both drifted off to sleep.

Rosie had woken up, but she kept her eyes shut. All during the remainder of her dreams, she had thought about what Dim had been saying, and what she should do...

Now, she knew. At the very least, she would have to confront him and tell him what she had heard. She would try to explain that she understood. Maybe then she could convince him to tell her and the other circus bugs more about what had happened to him prior to them encountering him.

She turned around to face Dim and opened her eyes – to see that he wasn't there. This time, she wasn't able to stifle her surprise, and she let out a soft scream of desperation which woke the other circus bugs.

'Dim's gone!' Rosie said to them. All the circus bugs quickly joined her, not bothering to hide their surprise. They all quickly split up to find Dim.

Manny checked in P.T.'s office, but found it empty.

Francis and Slim looked around from high in the air on top of the circus wagon, but failed to see him anywhere.

Heimlich scanned the main tent area, but one quick look told him that Dim wasn't there either.

Rosie didn't look at all, but just stared at where he had been talking to himself last night. She had an idea where he could be. She watched the morning sun, wondering what direction it was in though... She was rejoined by the other circus bugs.

'No sign?' asked Rosie. They all shook their heads.

'Hornet?' commented Heimlich. Francis and Slim thought for a moment.

'There's no sign of a struggle...' said Francis slowly. Slim seemed to agree with him.

All of a sudden, P.T. leapt into view.

'Dim's gone!' said Manny. P.T.'s jaw dropped open, cartoon-style, just as it had when Rosie had previously addressed him.

'Nooo!' he moaned. 'I was going to hire him permanently. I even had the contract ready!' Sure enough, he had a roll of paper tucked under his arm.

'Where culd he ave gon?' exclaimed Heimlich. All the circus bugs joined in the chatter, except Rosie, who remained as still as ever. Eventually, they noticed though.

'You know?' asked Slim. They all looked at Rosie. She took a deep breath, preparing herself.

'He went back to his colony,' said Rosie in a quiet tone, as though she was hoping they wouldn't hear. But they caught every word anyway.

'But why?' asked P.T.

'Because they're family, and he can't leave them enslaved by hornets,' stated Rosie.

'Well, forget him then,' snuffled P.T. He walked off.

All the other circus bugs seemed to agree with P.T. But Rosie wouldn't give up that easily.

'Guys,' said Rosie, re-catching the attention of Slim, Francis, Heimlich and Manny. Rosie sighed, trying to psyche herself up.

'We gotta go after him,' said Rosie. The other circus bugs looked shocked.

'But there's a hornet clan! We'll get killed!' shouted Slim.

'He saved our lives,' responded Rosie. This brought a stop to their objections.

'Look,' continued Rosie. 'I think there might be a way. If we can just –'

'We?' interrupted Francis, bringing a stop to Rosie. 'We?

'No,' he said. 'There's no "we" in suicide.' Rosie looked shocked at what he was saying, but Francis kept talking anyways.

'Rosie,' said Francis. 'If - if - if you want to go and get stabbed to death... be our guest.

'Because you're on your own,' finished Francis. He turned away, folding his arms. Slim and Manny followed suit. Heimlich looked at Rosie sadly before doing the same.

Rosie stared at the other circus bugs. Finally, she accepted their decision. So be it... She had no choice. She had to help him.

She turned and walked away, but not towards the circus tent. She walked away towards the grass stalks.

When Francis, Slim, Heimlich and Manny heard her footsteps, they turned around... and found that she was gone.

With open mouths, they stared at where Rosie had been. How could this be? Was Rosie leaving them... to save Dim?

Eventually Manny moved. He opened his wings and flew off towards the grass stalks, in the direction Rosie had gone. The other three watched him leave.

Manny had only just vanished from view when Slim stood in a proud stance and followed him. He had only just disappeared into the grass stalks when Heimlich leapt after him in his characteristic huge leaps.

Francis was left alone. After what seemed an age, he opened his shell, but didn't fly. Looking at his wings, he noticed the similarity of them to Dim's. They were both coleopterans...

He couldn't leave a fellow coleopteran behind. He took flight and flew after the others. Maybe this would give him a chance to defeat the Chief Hornet, after all. He had grown to hate her because she, a GIRL, had beaten him, a BOY, in a fight. Not again... He'd show her once and for all...

Approximate Chapter Running Time: 00:59-01:05