Chapter 11: The Fur Fighters Enter Konohagakure!
By: DemonClowSorceress and Red
Disclaimer: Naruto is not owned by us
Naruto stared in shock at the ten children standing awkwardly in front of him. Each was dressed almost as bizarrely as Hiro, but none were squirrels; two looked to be cats, one looked like a rabbit, and one even had a raccoon suit on! The only normal-looking one was the blue-haired girl, but her strange black and red outfit kept her from the category.
"So they can stay, right Papa, Tou-chan? Please, please, please!" Hiro begged his fathers, garnering Naruto's full attention once again.
"Hiro-chan," he began, trying to figure out in his head how exactly this was going to work, "It's not really up to me if they can stay. I would love to have them all stay but Tou-chan and I have our hands full just looking after you."
"So does that mean that if my Nee-chans and Nii-chans say they'll help look after everyone that I can keep them?" Hiro responded immediately with big eyes.
"Hiro," started Sasuke, "they aren't pets. You can't keep them." At the first sign of tears from his son Sasuke quickly continued, "They can stay, if everyone agrees to help look after them."
Hiro turned towards all his Nii-chans and Nee-chans, his eyes in full on squirrel begging mode as he whined out adorably, "Pleease? They helped me out a lot and now I want to give them a place where they can feel safe."
Now on the spotlight, every member of the Konoha Twelve felt awkward. But Sai decided to speak up about a certain point that was confusing the hell out of him. "But, Hiro disappeared for over a week without any warning. I know I'm socially inept, but shouldn't he be properly disciplined?"
Hiro stamped his foot childishly. "Dammit, Sai-nii-chan, they were so close to saying yes! Why did you have to open your stupid yap?!"
"HEY!" Naruto yelled, dropping to Hiro's eye level. "You watch your mouth, young man!"
This caused two things to happen. First, it revealed Kiba for the first time, since he'd gone in front of the group to signal the men on watch that they were all right. This meant his back was to the rest of the group. This also meant that his scent, while downwind of the Fur Fighters, had been masked by Naruto's.
Which led to the second thing; Mei's sharp canine nose smelled something doglike. "DOOOOOOGGGGGGGGIEEEEEEEE!!" she screamed, using Naruto's head as a springboard and flying for Kiba's back.
Shino, who was standing in front of Kiba, heard the yell and turned just as the Inuzuka stumbled forward into his arms. While showing no outward display of emotion, his brain was churning with shock and delight. Wait, he's being the aggressive one this time?! Happy day squeee!!
"The hell is on me!?" yelled Kiba, squirming but making no attempt to push away from Shino. "I just got attacked! What is it?! I can't see!"
"It's an Onbaa!" called Naruto flatly.
This had the desired reaction. Horror was painted on Kiba's face as he started running around the Konoha group in a panic, arms waving and screaming at the top of his lungs, "OMFG, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT THE HELL OFFA ME!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! SHINO, HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Yeah Bug Knight, go save your Puppy Princess," snickered Neji, elbowing the Aburame boy.
Shino sighed wearily (inside he was having the time of his life now that he finally got to save his boy) and extended his arm at stomach level. Kiba came running and instantly fell victim to the gut-level clothesline move, doubling over and giving everyone present a view of Mei latched firmly on the back of his jacket.
"GET THE FRIGGIN' ONBAA OFFA ME!! SAVE ME, SHINO!!!!!" sobbed Kiba (in Shino's mind) adorably.
"Calm down, it's not an Onbaa," said Shino patiently, sounding bored. He examined Mei, who was rubbing her cheek against Kiba's back and whimpering in delight. "It's a dog girl. Literally."
That calmed Kiba down considerably. He went limp for a second, then stood up. "Fine, just get her off." So Shino proceeded to grab Mei's sides and pull. For three whole minutes. During which time she never loosened her grip on Kiba's jacket.
"Here, lemme help," sighed Neji, taking one of Mei's legs while Shino grabbed the other one.
"I'll lend a hand," Shikamaru added, "even though it's troublesome."
"Me too," added Sasuke. So the four genius boys lined up; Sasuke and Neji pulling one leg, Shikamaru and Shino pulling the other, with Kiba being pulled by Lee. Each boy held on tightly and made ready to yank with all their strength.
Gaara sidled up beside Naruto, watching with pale green eyes. "You're not helping out?" Naruto asked in a state-the-obvious tone.
"No." The young Kazekage watched as the signal was given and Lee (who is considerably stronger than the other four genius boys) pulled Kiba in one direction while Neji, Sasuke, Shino, and Shikamaru pulled Mei in the opposite direction. After a few seconds of nothing, Gaara spoke again. "They're not gonna get her off, are they?"
"Nope."
He looked sidelong at Naruto without moving his head. "But you already knew that before they started."
"Yeeeee-up."
"You're just waiting for them to fail, aren't you?"
"Mm-hm."
"At which point you'll tell them off."
Naruto finally looked at Gaara and smiled an evil fox grin. "You know me so well," he snickered.
Gaara returned with his old psycho grin. "And you wonder why."
A yell brought their attention back to the human tug-of-war. They looked back just in time to see Shino and Neji lose their grips on Mei's legs, causing the four genius boys to fall backwards on thier butts. Adversely, this made Lee fall flat on his butt as well. Kiba, however, utilizing his highly superior canine reflexes, landed on all fours. Mei remained stuck on his back like a hungry leech.
Gaara chuckled to himself as Naruto stride over to the gasping, wheezing genius boys, lean over with his hands on his hips, and proceed to loudly proclaim their failure to whoever and whatever was in the vicinity of his voice. And as we all know, that's a pretty wide area.
"Oh. My. Ramen Gods! FAIL! It takes four geniuses to pull a child off a guy's back? Really? NO! It just takes that many to FAIL! And you have the ego to call yourselves GENIUSES? Talk about EPIC FAIL PEOPLE!! OH MY RAMEN GODS! You guys got PWNED by a CHILD! Granted, she is a dog child, but STILL! EPIC PWNAGE!! What is WRONG with you guys? GIFTED? Gifted with what?"
"Stupidity?" Gaara chipped in, trying to wrap up the verbal abuse before it really got going.
Naruto pointed at him. "YES! Thank you." He returned to the other boys. "You guys got told." He made the peace sign with both hands, sideways. "Word."
Gaara sighed as he facepalmed. "You've been watching gangster-rapper movies again, haven't you?"
Shifty blue eyes looked everywhere but at him. "Maaaaaay-be?"
Lee, meanwhile, was examining Mei. The dog girl had seen his obnoxiously green spandex suit coming and was on the lookout, eyes hidden under brown hair.
"My, what strong muscles this child has!" Lee exclaimed, prodding her shoulder with his index finger.
CHOMP!
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! GAI-SENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"
"She bit him, didn't she?" Tenten asked Sakura, not bothering to look as Lee continued to scream for his Gai-sensei. The pink nodded. "That moron."
"Get her off, get her off! I'm losing my life blood to a psycho puppy girl!" Lee cried, falling to his knees with his finger still trapped in Mei's teeth. "Please, get her offa me. I need my finger for morning one-finger pushups tomorrow."
Tenten sighed heavily and went up to Mei, who was still stubbornly hanging onto both Kiba and Lee. "I'm sorry," she said, bending down to the dog girl with a smile, "he's the stupid one of our merry little group. Would you please let his finger go?"
Mei made no move or sound to comply. Tenten's face and tone never changed, but suddenly the surrounding air became a mass of purple aura fire that vaguely resembled the flames of hell. "Let. Go. Now. Please."
The dog girl's jaw dropped immediately. Lee quickly scurried away and examined the deep teeth marks. "Oh my, it's bleeding so much!"
Now why didn't I think of that? Shino berated himself. Authoritatively he snapped his fingers at Mei. "Okay girl, get off the jacket." Big brown eyes blinked once, twice, but she never moved. His voice got harder. "Down, dog girl." She still remained where she was, so Shino had to adapt a voice that promised the coming of doom. "I said release your claws and get off the dog boy's back, now."
That made her get off. Shino snapped his fingers. "Sit. Stay."
And she did - as did Kiba. Both just plopped their butts to the ground, hands and legs relaxed and in front of them. Both pairs of eyes locked onto Shino awaiting orders.
Needless to say, he was taken aback. Well that was an unexpected turn of events. "Um.....speak?" he tried.
"Arf! Arf!" barked both Kiba and Mei. Mei's black tail wagged.
"WHOA! SOOOO COOOOL!!!" Naruto said, jumping up and down. "Me now! Roll - "
"Naruto, no!" Sasuke snapped quickly before he could finish the command. The blond's head dropped in disappointment.
Kiba looked at Mei in surprise. "Whoa, that was weird." And, suddenly mad, he looked up at Shino. "Wait, why am I listening to you?!" Then he looked back at Mei. "Well, she is kinda cute," he admitted, ruffling her hair. She smiled happily as her tail became a blur of black. "Can we keep her, Shino?"
Why the heck's he asking me? "Kiba, she's not a pet," Shino replied. "She's a - a child. You're barely legal and can't even take care of yourself half the time."
"Can so!" Kiba snapped back, highly offended. "I take care of myself! Akamaru too - "
"Akamaru's not a pet. He's your partner; he takes care of himself anyway."
"And I know she's not a pet!" Kiba went on, pretending not to hear the interruption. "Mei will be good, won't you Mei?"
"Wan-wan, Inu-nii!*" Mei replied cutely. And then a bone materialized above Kiba's head to drop and smack his skull hard. He looked up and grinned, then gave it to the little dog girl to gnaw on.
Shino shook his head. "Kiba, no." Kiba looked up at him, eyes wide and shimmery in full puppy-dog pout, complete with trembling lower lip. Shino quickly looked away, a tiny blush barely visible behind his collar and glasses. "I said no!"
Strengthened by the Aburame's resiliance, the rest of the Konoha Twelve also rejected the idea of keeping the Fur Fighters. Pretty soon, only Naruto and Kiba remained adamant about letting the children stay. And Naruto still had some tricks up his sleeve; realizing he only had to convince Sasuke for the others to cave, he began unleashing the most devestating moves in his self-labeled "Seductive Uke Arsenal."
First, he ruffled his hair wildly, achieveing the necessary 'bed-head' look. Then he unzipped his jacket, revealing the Hokage necklace and his black undershirt, a tight tanktop. Flipping back his jacket to stick his hands in his pockets, he dropped his chin to his chest and looked up at Sasuke with what he hoped was an adorable pout. "Sasuke......?"
Of course Sasuke, being the closet perv, was viewing Naruto's antics in an entirely different light. Clamping down hard on the part of him that wanted to give in, he crossed his arms and snapped, "No!" before he lost it.
But this didn't deter Naruto. Instead he went into another pose; hands clasped behind his back, glancing at Sasuke over his shoulder like a schoolgirl. When that one failed, he tried another. And then another. And another. And another. All the while subtly closing the distance between him and Sasuke.
Gaara watched the blond's progress with a knowing smile on his face. Watch out, Uchiha. You're gonna get hooked as sure as Shino's gay for Kiba. Because if you don't cave soon, not only is Naruto gonna make you nosebleed in public, but you're gonna get your ass kicked. He crossed his arms and watched, amused beyond any descriptions.
Finally Naruto made his final approach. Arms wrapped around Sasuke's neck (standing on tiptoe so he could reach) he batted his big blue eyes adorably and asked in a voice of undeniable begging, "Please, Sasuke? Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase?"
Caught between a rock and a hard place, Sasuke grabbed Naruto's arms and shoved him away. "No!" he yelled, looking away so as not to see the rejection in Naruto's eyes. "They can't stay! We have enough problems with one; ten more would bring this place crashing down!"
Oh crap, close-range begging didn't work? He's being stubborn today. Naruto crossed his arms. Damn. I'll have to take desperate measures. He went into his mind and rapped on the bars of the Kyuubi no Yoko's cage. Oy, wake up, you lazy fox!!
A deep growl preceeded a sleepy, What do you want?
I need your help, grumbled Naruto, not believeing what he was about to ask. You know that, um........state........that I, uh, ask you to, uh, help me with sometimes? You know, um.......the one I never use except when, um, it's a last resort?
This got the fox's full and undivided attention. One big red eye looked down at the fidgeting boy. Yes? What about it? It's not nighttime yet, so you can't need it for -
HE WON'T LET ME KEEP HIRO-CHAN'S FRIENDS AND I NEED TO CONVINCE HIM TO LET THEM STAY!!!!! Naruto burst out, reddening considerably.
What about Sexy no Jutsu?
That doesn't work. It's Sasuke.
Understanding sarcasm dripped from the Kyuubi's voice. Oh yeah. Right. So, you need that.
Naruto looked down and to the side. Yes.
How many people are out there? asked the fox innocently.
Enough to humiliate me for all time.
Silence. Then, What's in it for me?
Are you fucking serious?! Naruto yelled.
No, that's Lupin's job.
Huh?
Nevermind. Kyuubi had a short laugh. But seriously, why should I help you now?
Well......there's a fox girl out here. Really cute with caramel-colored hair.
But surprisingly, this did not make Kyuubi happy. Rather, the fox seemed almost indifferent. Too indifferent. Is that so.
Naruto watched as the giant fox shifted in the cage, waiting with bated breath. A thought suddenly crossed his mind and he voiced it. Hey, are you cramped in there?
My true self is too vast to be fully comprehended. This is merely one form of many, replied Kyuubi in a lofty it's-above-your-mental-capacity-to-understand tone. Naruto's head tilted to the side in confusion, rolling his eyes. The fox sighed and replied, No, I'm not cramped. And yes, I'll help you. But.......... A dark tone of glee manifested in the demon's voice. You have to do that.
OH DEAR RAMEN GODS OF LIFE!! NO!!
Do it, or persuade him otherwise.
Fuck!
You can do that too. I'm sure it will work just as well.
I'm not a goddamn exhibitionist, you stupid demon fox with voyeuristic habits!
********
Meanwhile, on the outside......
Hiro's ear twitched as he listened to his father's stomach area. Then he went to the closest Fur Fighter, who happened to be Tsukasa. "We should all move back now."
"Why?" asked the bird child.
"I heard the static."
"Huh?"
"Trust me."
And because he did, Tsukasa got everyone to take a couple steps back. The Konoha Twelve didn't notice this, as they were too interested why a nonstop ball of energy like Naruto was now still as a statue. Sasuke was even considering letting his guard down, thinking the blond had come to grips with the truth.
Suckers, Gaara thought, sensing the Kyuubi's chakra beginning to stir deep within Naruto's gut. He's lulled them into a false sense of security. This is gonna be hilarious! Where's popcorn and soda when you need it?
Then Naruto's arms rose from his sides. His index and pinky fingers raised on both hands, he brought them in to his chest, crossing at the wrists in front of his crystal. A bright red blush was beginning to appear on his cheeks while his eyes remained tightly closed.
What the hell's he doing? wondered the majority of the Konoha Twelve, not recognizing the pose, as an 'Oh shit' look passed over Sasuke's face.
Naruto suddenly flipped his wrists to frame his crystal. "Kitsune Love Prisim, Activate!"
All teenagers' cognitive functions ground to a halt in sheer disbelief. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?
Red chakra suddenly burst into flame around Naruto's body. Everyone stared in shock and confusion except for Sasuke, who quickly looked away because he knew what was coming.
And then jaws dropped like flies as the fox boy proceeded to do an exotic transformation-sequence style dance with a surprising degree of flexibility. With every stunt, the onlookers' thoughts were drenched with shock and awe.
Gaara: Wait, he just did a backbend. Did his head touch the ground? \:I
Sakura: No wonder Sasuke likes him better..... o.o
Neji: Holy crap, he's really flexible. I didn't think people could twist that way. OoO
Hinata: Oh my......Naruto's so.......oh my........ O//////O
Shino: I wonder if he could teach Kiba to do some of those moves....... $_$
Ino: Damn, Sasuke's lucky!! ;)
Shikamaru: .........Holy...........snap........ O.O
Choji: I'm hungry. Wonder when we're going to eat? :Q
Kiba: WOW O.o
Sai: Wow, just think if his clothes were tighter..... *blink blink*
Lee: My! He must train extensively to achieve that kind of movement!
Tenten suddenly bonked him over the head. Lee held his skull in pain. "What? I didn't say anything!"
"You were thinking it," she replied, "so same difference."
Then the dance suddenly ended as Naruto stood straight up and brought his hands over his eyes slowly. When they passed over his eyes, he opened them to reveal fox-slit pupils in blue irises. When he dropped his hands, two large orange-red fox ears wriggled under his red-streaked gold hair. A long, fluffy, orange, white-tipped fox tail lashed gently at the boy's waist.
Gaara could barely contain his laughter. The Fur Fighters applauded quietly.
"So, Sasuke;" And everyone listening could not believe the amount of seduction that laced those two words. "So, Sasuke, can they stay?"
Of course Sasuke found it extremely hot when innocent-seductive Naruto went full-on seductive on him. But he steadfastly held his ground and never looked towards Naruto. "I said no!"
Naruto sighed. Bringing up an arm, he made a sweeping motion as if throwing back a cape. Another fox tail rolled out into existance, shocking everybody once again. Daisuke whispered, "I knew it. It is him," but when Kaname asked her to repeat her words, she quickly denied saying anything.
"Let's try this again," Naruto said, even more persuasive than before; an aspect of the fox tails. "Sasuke, can't the children stay here?"
"What part of no does not penetrate your thick skull, baka kitsune!" shouted Sasuke in a muffled voice, his hand trying to keep at bay the massive nosebleed on the way.
All right, enough of this bullsh*t. Naruto repeated the sweeping motion violently. The remaining seven tails instantly appeared, for a grand total of nine and ultimate power in virtally all aspects of his game. "Sasuke - "
Sasuke almost caved, he almost did. Certainly when he felt the furry tails start wrapping around him in inappropriate ways. But he gave a last shout of rejection. "NO MEANS NO, GODDAMMIT!"
So Naruto gave up. "You bastard! Ya know what? Fuck you! They're staying!!" And he pulled back a fist and socked Sasuke clean in the face. All nine tails made an impressive fan at his back as he stood over the unconscious Uchiha with his arms crossed. "Dattebayo, bitch."
In the silence that followed Hiro pointed to his Tou-chan, announced, "Tou-chan got OWNED!" and mimicked his Papa's earlier gangster sign. "Word."
Gaara couldn't contain his laughter any longer. He doubled over and cracked up to the amazement of all Konoha ninja present save Naruto, who joined in after a couple seconds. When they regained use of their lungs Naruto turned to the others. "But seriously, can you guys help out? I'm sure you can take care of at least one kid."
Kiba then turned to Shino. "Can we keep Mei, Shino?"
Shino looked away, still adamantly against it. Leaving Kiba with no choice but to lean over and lick his cheek cutely. The blush on Shino's cheeks intensified until his face looked like a tomato with shades. "Fine, we can keep her."
"HA! I KNEW IT!" Naruto stuck a tail in Neji's face. "Pay up!" Cursing, the Hyuga boy pulled out some money and deposited it on the tail, which Naruto curled up and reeled in with glee. But the glee quickly faded when he caught side of Hinata with her hand out expectedly. "Crap," said Naruto, handing over his money. "How did you know?"
She gave a small smirk that looked very out of place on her face. "You don't think I know what goes on with my own teammates? Bitch, please."
With two down, the rest of the Konoha Twelve found themselves saddled with a child. Tsukasa stood beside Neji stoutly, while Hanika found a kindred soul in Hinata. Hikari and Hikaru sided with Lee and Tenten respectively. Tomoya first looked up Gaara (who thought for a second that the child could sense the Shukaku in him) before going over to bask in the love of Sakura and Ino, both of whom wanted to take him home (and neither knowing the truth behind his grin as they hugged him close to their.....bosoms.....) Shippo attatched himself to Sai, who looked very surprised that anything would pick him over another one of the ninja present. Kusaka, with a quick glance, sidled up beside an unaware Shikamaru.
Daisuke quickly went to Naruto's side, grabbing one of his tails. When the blond looked down, she released just as quickly. "Oh, sorry," she mumbled, red-faced. "My apologies."
"You wanna stay with Papa, Kitsune-chan?" asked Hiro, hopping into Naruto's arms happily.
The little girl twisted her own tail in her hands, not looking up at Naruto. This behavior was noticed by Kaname, who pretended to ignore it as he poked Sasuke's unconscious body with a stick for amusement. "Can I come too?" he asked boredly. "Ya know, just because."
"Sure!" chirped Hiro, always up for company. "Papa, Kitsune-chan and Akki-chan are going to stay with us, okay?"
"Of course!" Naruto smiled happily at his little son. "Just as soon as Tou-chan wakes up, we'll all have some dinner!"
Naruto has watched too many gangster movies, I think.....
A.N.
* - Inu-nii: Literally 'Doggy big brother'