CHAPTER XXIII: A STROKE OF LUCK
We were all sitting around a bottle-cap table at Bennett's Bar – having retreated there once P.T. had fired us. We were sitting in the same order as the first time I had came here, except Gypsy ,Tuck and Roll (in that order) were sitting between Manny and Rosie. I was the only one not talking, just looking down mostly. I was paying attention to everything going on, but barely; more so, I was thinking about the situation.
The others were all complaining about being fired. Of course, that was bad, but my previous situation was much worse. Now that I was fired, I felt even worse. We had all agreed, without actually talking to each other (if you know what I mean) that we were all going our separate ways – Tuck & Roll, Manny and Gypsy, Francis and Slim and Heimlich, Rosie and myself. I didn't want to split up, but I had long since learned that I was not the one to voice my opinion.
Watching stuff out of the corner of my eye, I saw the usual bar shenanigans; several mosquitoes throwing a dice around a bottle-cap table. On the wall, one fly said, 'Hey waiter, I'm in my soup!' Another fly near him, as his buddy struggled to not sink, said 'Hey, I've being working out – feel my wing.'
My attention got drawn to the bar, where a fly sat with a fellow grasshopper. The fly caught the attention of the bartender by saying "Yo, two black flags over here!" The bartender, wordlessly, slid two beads of the stuff down the bar to the two.
'Heh heh, a hair of the dog you bit,' chuckled the grasshopper, slapping his drink bead against the fly's one. They both then swallowed the beads in one go.
Looking around, I saw a chubby brown waiter, holding dessert on a plate.
'Hey,' he yelled, 'who ordered the poo-poo platter –' and several flies buzzed around it at a tremendous speed. The waiter put a spare hand on his abdomen, looking very disgruntled.
Not far from him, a female waiter dropped a delicious-looking cake in front of a small slug.
'Here you go Slick,' she said, sounding pretty exhausted, 'enjoy!' She then buzzed away.
Slick bent down and took a bite out of the cake – and then his mouth frothed all over; an allergic reaction was taking place.
'Ow ow!' he whined. 'Hey, I said no salt!'
I drew my attention away from them and back to the other circus bugs. It felt so weird, that the rest of the insect world could go on as though everything was normal. No. Nothing would ever be normal... not for me, anyway. I'm not normal...
'Fired by a flea!' moaned Slim, leaning back in disgust. 'How humiliating!'
'Let's face it,' mumbled Francis, looking down at the ground of the giant can we were all in, while holding a water bead, 'we stink...'
Again, Tuck and Roll were arguing, but at least they were using a language I could understand.
'You fired!' said Tuck to Roll.
'You fired!' said Roll back to Tuck.
'You fired!' said Tuck back to Roll.
'Oh will you SHUT up?' cursed Rosie at the pair, flexing her long, bony arms at them.
'Hey!' said Tuck to Rosie, sticking all six of his thumbs up in the air.
'You fired!' responded Roll, doing the same thing. Rosie looked away from them, putting her hands on the table while also showing obvious anger.
'Sumeday,' mumbled Heimlich, tossing a piece of food into his mouth, 'I will be a beautiful butterfly, and zen everything will be better...' Manny sympathetically patted him on the back, while Gypsy gazed longingly at her water bead.
'I can't believe the troupe is breaking up; we've always been together...' here her train of thought drifted off.
'Farewell, my friends,' stated Manny, holding up his water bead. Except for me, as I was armless, all the others followed suit.
'To the audience we'll never have,' said Francis. Everyone raised their water beads close to the center, and then brought them down again.
Slim sipped his water bead briefly, and then looked around again.
All of a sudden, two flies buzzed in the entrance of the bar, looking around. Wait a moment – I recognized them!
'Francis,' hissed Slim, bending forward, 'your boyfriends from the circus are here!' Francis wheeled around, looking rather arrogant.
Another fly stepped in – and this one was huge, a great towering hunk. Even I wouldn't stand a chance against him. Francis let out a small gasp that nonetheless drifted across the noisy bar.
One of the flies noticed us, and pointed. 'There she is!' he said.
Francis turned around again, away from the flies, trying to look normal.
The flies buzzed over – the two smaller ones landed beside Francis, just as Slim and Heimlich scuttled to the side to avoid them.
'Hello there, girly bug,' began one of the flies, swiping aside Francis' water bead.
'Shoo fly, don't bother me,' responded Francis, looking ahead with a stiff look.
'Say,' interrupted the second fly, 'why don't you tell out pal Thud –' the hunk fly landed behind Francis with a THUD '– what you said to us at the circus?'
'Yeah,' continued the first fly, 'something about... buzzing around our dung heap?' Thud growled menacingly, making Francis gulp nervously. The flies then ganged up on him.
'Ladybug, ladybug,' chanted the flies, moving his wings up and down, while Thud balled a fist into his other hand, 'fly away home!
'Ha! Not so tough now, are ya?
'All right, clown,' said one of the flies, backing a few paces off with the other two, 'get up and fight like a girl!' Slim and Heimlich leaned into Francis.
'Get ready to do the Robin Hood act,' hissed Francis to those two.
'Ooh! Ooh! I want tu be Little John!' chuckled Heimlich.
'What part can I play?' said Slim. Francis looked thoughtful at these words.
Without waiting for an instant, while the other two backed off to the side again, Francis whipped on his leaf hat, hopped onto the bottle-cap table, and faced the flies.
'Stand back, ye flies!' said Francis. Everyone in the bar turned to watch. 'We are the greatest warriors in all bugdom!
'My sword!' yelled Francis, grabbing Slim out of nowhere, and holding him forward.
'Swish swish; twang twang,' said Slim. Francis then said 'Little John!'
'What ho, Robin!' commanded Heimlich, landing beside Francis. He pulled a small fake sword out of a piece of food, tossing the food aside. 'Justice is my sword and truth shall be my quiver!'
As they advanced on the flies, they backed off a bit. The crowd also moved back, giving room.
'Jawohl!' spared Heimlich, while Francis swung Slim at the flies. The bartender watched with a vaguely amused expression.
'Hush; cherry; lunge!' spat Slim – and then Thud grabbed Slim, and snarled at him.
'Me thinkith it's not working!' hissed Francis.
'Ah!' gasped Heimlich dropping his fake sword, while Francis pulled Slim free. We all turned to run, scuttling towards the side of the bar. 'Back to Sherwood Forest! Schnell! Schnell!' breathed Heimlich.
As we ran up the wall of the can, yelling it slowly began to turn. Before we could stop ourselves, we were running on the floor of the can, as it undoubtedly rolled down the street of the city. We were all yelling, and the bar kept rolling, all the stuff and bugs in it rolling around like rag dolls.
Then, with a WHAM, the rolling can hit something, and stopped, all the stuff coming to stop in a big pile. From where I was, I slowly got up with the others, just as Francis pulled Slim from the rubble. There was a strangely heroic feel about the air; I'm pretty sure anyone watching would have noticed.
Speak of the devil; just as Francis put Slim down, and we all groaned, as Rosie said 'ow' repeatedly, a voice said 'You're perfect!' Looking down, at the base of the pile of rubble we were on, we saw a small, blue, skinny ant, looking awestruck at us.
'Oh, great ones!' he said heroically, lowering himself into a bow, 'I have been scouting for bugs with your exact talents!'
'Aw! A talent scout!' whispered Gypsy. We all crowded together, looking excited at what the little ant was saying. He was a hymenopteran, true, but I felt like we could trust him; certainly, he meant no harm to us.
'My colony is in trouble!' he continued. 'Grasshoppers are coming; we've being forced to prepare all this food!'
'Dinner theater!' exclaimed Manny.
'Fud?' howled Heimlich.
'Please!' pleaded the blue ant, crawling forwards on his knees, 'will you help us!'
We heard a groaning behind us. Looking around, we saw the fly brothers and Thud getting up.
'Where are they?' questioned one of the flies. We gasped, turning around to the ant again.
'We'll take the job!' said Slim, as we ran down the pile of rubble to the ant.
'Really?' he said – before we swept past him, Slim plucking him up. I heard Rosie saying 'We'd better hurry!' as we went outside, embracing the night air.
'You can explain the details on the way!' said Slim to the ant, placing him between my head and thorax. Suddenly Tuck jumped on next to him.
'Hey, hey hey!' he exclaimed – before Roll jumped on between them, chuckling in his gibberish Hungarian. I felt Rosie crawling her way onto my abdomen.
'Come on everyone, break a leg!' she said.
'Wow,' exclaimed the ant, 'you're vicious!' This seemed a strange remark, considering we were being hired to perform, but I shook it off.
'Hold on, Mr. Ant,' I said in my deep voice. I opened my shell and took off, picking up Heimlich with my legs. Francis held Slim, buzzing on my left, while Manny and Gypsy flew on my right.
'Amazing,' said the little ant, as we flew over the city traffic,' this is too good to be true!' He laughed on a repeated note as we approached the city exit.
We flew over the grass stalks, slowly embracing the glow of the sun, for it had turned to morning within a few minutes of us leaving the city.
As we flew past some dandelions, I thought, while showing a smile on my face, even though none of the circus bugs were looking at me directly.
This was probably good – if we performed well for these grasshoppers, we might get our confidence back. From there I might be able to recover from my... problem.
My thoughts were snapped by Heimlich suddenly picking up a leaf as we passed a plant, and chewing on it; his sudden movement had almost made me lose my grip on him.
Out of the corner of my left eye, I noticed the others flying – Gypsy and Manny looking very straight and Slim was moving his arm up and down in the wind.
I suddenly realized then Flik (for he had told us his name) was talking on top of me. I quickly reverted my thoughts to him.
'...So, you see,' Flik said to Tuck and Roll, 'it was my fault that Hopper's coming back. But then Princess Atta – boy, is she one in a million – she let my go out and find you! And after seeing you fight off those flies, boy, are those grasshoppers in for a big surprise!' Flik laughed again, and I heard Tuck and Roll let out identical laughs too. From knowing them, I could tell that they were forced laughs.
'Busha bi kay be se heh?' said Roll to Tuck. A silence followed; again I could tell they didn't understand a word he was saying. I did though. I wondered vaguely if Flik liked this "Princess Atta." Even if he did, I knew I was not to ask. That part of me had long since been finished.
We flew past the glare of the sun, and I knew we would be at Flik's colony soon. I couldn't wait.
I hadn't being paying too much attention to where I was going, but all of a sudden, an island in the middle of a dried-up riverbed appeared. As we approached, I could tell this was Flik's colony. It consisted of a giant tree on top of the island, some huge boulders on one side, and grass stalks on most of the island... A looping tree root branched off the grass stalks from the colony clearing.
I felt Flik leaning over me as we approached, and he pointed.
'This is it!' he said to Tuck and Roll. 'This is Ant Island!'
As we flew over the grass stalks, I noticed a small purple kid ant jumping up and down on a clover leaf. As we drew closer, I noticed that she was clutching a leaf wound into a spiral and that she had small wings – clearly, she was royal.
'Flik!' she cried, continuing to jump up and down, 'over here! Flik! Flik!'
'Hey,' waved Flik as we passed the purple kid ant. As we approached the tree root and flew over it, I heard her say, 'He did it, he did it, Yay! He did it!' I vaguely heard her follow up slowly by jumping from clover leaf to clover leaf.
We slowly approached the main colony clearing. I turned around in the air, and slowly came down, the others beside me.
Manny and Gypsy landed as one on my right. Slim and Francis landed on my right. I dropped Heimlich next to them before landing in the middle with a THUMP.
We all adopted a pose of receiving applause, with Rosie balancing Tuck and Roll on her arms, and Flik still between my head and thorax. Francis balanced himself on Slim's arm, and Gypsy lay in front of Manny.
Seconds passed. We heard the sound of a cricket chirping. My eyes darted from left to right. The others lost their smiles as Slim creaked down out of his pose. To my right, Manny sighed.
'Once again, our reputation precedes us...'
'Hey everybody!' yelled Flik, jumping off me and opening his arms. 'Hey, I'm back!
'Hey guys! Heeyyyy...' he yelled. I could tell he thought that some ants actually were watching us. Could that be?
'Lo-loo-Look who's here with me!' he stammered, pointing at me.
'Flik!' cried the purple kid ant, running out of the grass stalks and up to us. As she got closer, I noticed how giddy she looked. 'Flik, Flik! You're back!
'I knew you could do it!' she said, as Flik picked her up, laughing.
'Flik?' said a voice. I heard many voices, most of them murmuring surprise at our arrival. Looking around, I saw many ants emerging from behind leafs and a collection of stones behind us. They all approached, forming a crowd around us, as Rosie, Tuck and Roll got off. The crowd looked roughly about 150 ants, although I was sure there was much more in the colony. Some must be still in the anthill, I thought. The purple kid friend of Flik's looked particularly awed at me. More kids crowded around me as well.
As more ants crowded around us, Flik showed us off to the crowd. He moved around to my right, near Gypsy.
'Oh, look at this, look at this,' he said hurriedly, 'this is great, look!' Gypsy opened her wings quickly with a "POOP" making several nearby ants gasp. One of them, an old frail ant, jumped backwards, clutching his heart. 'Oh, my dicker!' he cursed.
Over a fair bit on my left, I saw Heimlich waving to several of the ants, as a light-blue, freckled kid ant and a light-purple kid ant came to up Francis, Slim and Heimlich.
'So what are you supposed to be?' asked the light-blue kid to Slim.
'He's a stick, stupid,' said his light-purple companion, with a chunky male voice, 'you hit bugs with them.
'Heh heh,' chuckled Slim, bending down to their level, 'now that's an oversimplification –'
'That's right kids,' interrupted Francis, picking up Slim, like this!'
'No no, put me down,' whined Slim, as Francis whacked him on Heimlich, causing the larva the gasp briefly. Slim winced as Francis lifted him up again.
A bit ahead of them, Tuck and Roll suddenly rolled up to a medium-blue, freckled, female ant with a bulgy chest. Strangely, she looked just like Quick. They popped open, one of them on top of the other.
'Hey!' they said, the one on top wringing her hand, and the bottom one wringing her foot.
'My,' she said, 'you just pop right open there, don't ya?' She had a soothing homey voice, rather similar to that of Berry's.
Around me, several girl kids crawled under me, including Flik's royal friend. Their antennas were tickling me, as they let out many "Wows."
'Oh, uh, kids... interrupted Rosie from behind me, bending down to their level, 'he's kinda ticklish. Let's come on out – careful!' she said, as I gave in and laughed, stomping my feet up and down, scaring the kids away into the crowd.
I noticed an old frail ant coming up to Flik, clutching a pet aphid. Judging by her flower crown, she was the Queen.
'Ha ha!' she laughed, turning to face Flik. 'Well, my boy, you came through! Aphie and I are very impressed...'
The Queen had just moved off to Gypsy and Manny – who greeted her sympathetically – when Flik gasped again.
'Princess Atta!' he said, moving forward to a figure that had just emerged from the crowd with another posh-looking ant. Atta was a slender-looking ant, with elegant looking wings, and a gorgeous face. She had a leaf tiara around her curling antenna. She looked just like Berry, and I could understand exactly why Flik really liked her. She wasn't for me, of course...
'Hey, hey guys,' said Flik to us, 'this is Princess Atta! She's the one who sent me to find you!' We all smiled in Atta's direction. She looked the most surprised at out arrival – albeit in a bad way.
'Atta, Atta,' chimed the purple kid ant, running up to her, 'did you see that really big bug over there?' She was pointing at me, and I couldn't help chuckling.
'He looks absolutely ferocious!' said the posh ant. He was a really tall, bulgy figure.
'They're out ticket out of this mess,' said a really short male ant, with a flat face.
'They came just in time,' said the ant that looked just like Quick happily.
'That's right!' chimed in the old frail ant that clutched a walking stick.
'S-So-So Princess Atta,' stammered Flik, standing in front of us, next to the ant Queen, 'Wha-what do you think?'
Atta leaned forward slightly, looking utterly perplexed, and then she whipped round to the four posh-looking ants, and began taking with them frantically. Flik and the Queen watched them, and the colony chatted vaguely among themselves. To my left, past Rosie, Slim, with a creek, leaned into Francis, and muttered, 'Mayday, mayday, we're losing the job...'
Indeed, it did look bad. I hope Atta wasn't discussing about not needing us. Unfortunately, that's exactly what it did look like. However, the council ants (as I later learned) seemed to continue to want out presence, which was good.
Biting his lip, Francis whispered back to Slim, 'we gotta sweeten the deal,' before buzzing his hard wings, quickly balancing himself on my horn with his small feet, and then calling attention.
'Your majesty!' he said, loud enough to catch the attention of everyone. The chatter died away instantly, and the whole crowd turned to watch, all of them looking excited, except Atta, who still seemed skeptical. Fair point, I thought – after all, my acting performance had slipped a bit. But this was just the act I needed to get my dignity back.
'Ladies and gentlemen,' yelled Francis over the silent clearing, 'boys and girls of all ages; our troupe here guarantees a performance like no other! Why, when your grasshopper friends get here, we are gonna KNOCK – THEM – DEAD!' He buzzed briefly in the air above my horn, as the whole colony applauded us, except for Atta again.
Slim leaned in to Heimlich as they waved, and said, 'boy, these folks are sure hard up for entertainment!'
As Atta looked around, still showing skeptical expressions, Flik glanced at her as he also clapped. She glanced at him too, even after he turned away. He seemed unnaturally cheery, rather like when I had first received applause that time I had wandered back into the crew rooms... I pushed the thought out of my mind.
Approximate Chapter Running Time: 26:42-30:53; 31:35-34:28