Story Name: Heaven in Hell

Rating: still nothing too bad...sooooorry...cussing...the usual

Authors note: Me: (slapped) what the fuck was that for sasu!!!

Sasu: you kissed me you slut!

Me: that's not reason to slap me!!

Sasu: the hell it is! And just for the kiss... you have to bring me into this chapter and in one of the chapters to come; I have to be able to fuck my little kitsune's ass mercilessly!!

Me: (sigh) ...fine

Naru: WHAT!?!?

Disclaimer: (MUMBLES) fucking k.masashi...releasing the hounds on me...YOU CHEATED YOU ASS HOLE!!!

My Wonderul Beta- Kaname Natsumi

The rest of the day passed by in a confused mess. His classes were scattered everywhere and his teachers were crazy. Either they were gay, perverted or both, they were just plain weird. Having lunch with Gaara, Lee, Chouji, And Neji seemed to be a lot easier since Neji wasn't groping him and obviously flirting with him.

Naruto rode the bus with Gaara and Lee. Well, more like tried to ignore the fact that he was being a witness of rape on Gaara's part to Lee. But how could Naruto constantly ignore the grunts and giggling from the "youthful" boy?

He finally got off the bus at the stop and walked up to his house.

"How was it?" Tsunade called out across the house as Naruto walked in.

"I hate you Baa-Chan, I really do." he stalked off to his room ignoring the booming laughter coming from the kitchen.

Once in his room, he quickly dialed Kiba's number having nothing else to do and not really having homework.

"'Sup, man. How were your classes?" Kiba answered.

"Hey Kiba. My classes were horrible. Stupid prep schools and their perfectness." Naruto complained.

"Tell. Me. Everything!" Naruto could hear Kiba start to giggle on the other side.

"Well, to make it short," he took a deep breath, "My teachers are either gay, perverted, or both, I sit next to some fat guy that eats ALL day in my first period, I have a guy at my bus stop that has death in his eyes but goes out with some kid that's obsessed with youth and has the weirdest hair cut. Oh, and the guy at my bus stop is also a rapist to his boyfriend or just has an overactive libido and can also read minds. And to top it all off, some guy in my first period thought I was gay and hit on me! So you tell me, was my day cool?!" he was yelling now, panting from not having a breath in what seemed like a minute. Kiba was dying of laughter on the other line and Naruto was just plain dying.

Three hours passed with Naruto eating dinner, showering, and talking with Kiba, which just kept making fun of him, or Shikamaru, who just complained about how much of a drag his day must have been. Now he was tired and did not want to wake up for another day of tormenting the next day brought.

::X::::X::::X::::X::::X:::

Wake up, walk to bus stop, share one word conversation with Gaara. Get on bus, doze off, arrive at perfectly horrible school. That was his new routine.

Naruto looked around for his friends and spotted them under the oak tree in the front of the school and took his seat next to Chouji. Two rules he thought of yesterday: don't sit next to Gaara when Lee is around, and don't sit next to Neji, ever.

There was no conversation. Low grunts and crunching came from Chouji and giggles and moans from Gaara and Lee. The only thing left to do was scout out the school.

He looked around and a guy with jet black hair and dark eyes sitting on a bench across the court yard caught his eye. Something about this guy just kept Naruto's gaze fixed on him. The guy was good looking and his indifferent expression said he knew it. Some guys around the school walked up to him but this raven completely ignored them.

"Who is that guy?" Naruto voice his thoughts.

"Oh the new kid," Chouji said, "He looks dumb."

"He looks mean." Lee said squirming in Gaara's arms.

"He looks like a prick." Naruto chimed in.

"He looks like my next boyfriend!" everyone turned to face Neji as he stood up.

"If he ignored all those other guys what makes you think he'll say yes to you?" Naruto said.

"Well I'm a sexy beast. AND, I'm persistent." he smirked and strode over to the raven boy. Naruto looked at the raven and flinched when he saw the dark eyes boring into his own. He quickly turned to Chouji.

"He could also be straight." Naruto said.

"He's not straight." Gaara said

"You know him?" Naruto asked.

"No." WHAT THE HELL!? This guy has to have PN-ESP! Naruto thought. "Doesn't mean he's gay, but he's not straight.

Naruto scooted on inch further from the red head and smiled, "...Right. So you think Neji will get this guy to say yes?" Naruto stood up as the bell rung.

"Not in a million years." Gaara said blankly and smiled for the first time Naruto had ever seen. He shivered and smiled back nervously. Something about that smile scared the shit out of him.

::X::::X::::X::::X::::X::

1st, 2nd, and 3rd period passed just like the day before. At lunch, everyone said that he almost ate as much as Chouji, but that was quickly taken back when Chouji came with his lunch tray oblivious as to why they were all laughing so hard.

4th and 5th period passed with nothing interesting. His perverted/gay teachers were even crazier today, now that they knew their students. Now he was in health class. The only class where none of his new friends were with him.

As he walked inside, he noticed the pale boy from the morning. He sat in the desk next to the raven and tried not to look at him. What's wrong with me? Why does my stomach churn when I see him? He had the sudden urge to reach out and touch the pale skin and stare endlessly into those dark eyes. Wait, what?! No he didn't! He couldn't.

He teacher came barging into the class just about the same second the bell rang. Naruto let out a sigh of relief, glad to have something, or someone to distract him from the boy next to him.

"Good morning, class!" the teacher said, panting loudly, while buttoning his shirt, fixing his hair and...ZIPPING UP HIS PANTS?!?! Oh god, I can't believe this school. The teacher pointed his thumb towards his chest "For the new kid over there, I'm Genma." he pointed towards the raven next to him. "Please don't mind that I'm a little late. My libido gets in the way of my work sometimes." EW... "I teach health and most of the year we will learn about the male anatomy. For your first assignment you will complete this worksheet." he passed papers down the rows and sat down at his computer screen which had a picture of his Calc teacher, Raidou. Weird.

When the paper got to Naruto, there was a blown up picture of a male reproductive organ with arrows pointing at different parts. He almost choked at the sight but decided that he would need to hold in his blush for the rest of the class period. He looked down at his paper and nothing else, and started his work.

As he concentrated on naming the parts, pale fingers carrying a piece of paper came into his view. He looked up and blue eyes met black. The guy motioned to the note and returned to his work. Naruto opened the note carefully and read what was neatly written on the paper.

I don't know where the penis is, can you help me?

Taken back by the bluntness, he blushed and wrote:

I sorda feel bad for you, not having balls and all.

He smiled at his genius and passed the note back to him. Only a few seconds passed and the pale finger brought the little paper back.

That was a horrible comeback. I'm Sasuke.

He shuddered at the name. Now that he knew the guys name it would be even harder to get it out of his mind. He wrote back:

At least I had a comeback. And my name is I'm straight.

The raven wrote back:

What a horrible name. If your name was "lets get to know each other" I would have liked you better.

Naruto wrote:

...funny. Alright my name is really Naruto.

Sasuke wrote back:

Nice to meet you, Naruto

Naruto grabbed the paper from the edge of his desk and read it. He felt a slight breeze on his neck and turned his head slowly.

"Hey, Na-ru-to" Genma whispered. He shivered at the seductiveness of the voice.

"Hello, um, professor." he slowly slid the paper under his desk. His teachers' fingers slivered across the tan jaw line. "Um," he squeaked," what are you doing?"

"Feeling your smooth skin." the teacher replied." Okay!" he cheered and jumped up and his expression was too exited for Naruto's liking. Well, the teacher himself was too everything for Naruto's liking. Genma pointed at Naruto and the raven that was chuckling to himself, smiling madly. "You are partners!" then he skipped to the next unfortunate students awaiting the shock of a lifetime.

Naruto continued to stare at the teacher in awe until a gentle voice filled his ears.

"Naruto, huh?" it was deep and manly. What was this feeling? Why did the mention of his name make his stomach swirl? He turned and saw Sasuke on one elbow, staring at him with a slight smirk. "Well, now we're forced to get to know each other."

Authoress's note: I'm sorry to leave it there but in my rough draft that's where I left it...hope you liked this chappie and don't get annoyed but my lame excuses for humor...to me...there f-ing hilarious...to everyone else there like "Cat, your a fucking dumbass..." ... damn...r&r pweeez

update: im sooo sorry but the next xhappie shoudl come up soon...im doind two stories at once while playing water polo AND catching up with my school work soo pleeeeez be patient with me! i have the chappie written and i need to type it and run it through edditing and then its all yours!!!! tee hee...im sorry..and for anyone that wants to respond to this and can't cuz they already reviewed(thank you!) your could just pm me!! yaya!!