Lovina was in her sixth month of the pregnancy. Her stomach had swelled enough that she got to go on a shopping spree with her sister to completely replenish her wardrobe.

And the combination of cute new clothes and a pregnant Lovina meant that Antonio paid even more attention to her than usual. Lovina wasn't complaining.

"Lovi!" The baby mama in question was laying on a couch, idly watching the opening credits to a movie, waiting for Antonio to hurry up and finish slicing her tomato before the movie started. "I've got your food~!" Antonio practically sang, dancing into the room.

"About time," Lovina rolled her eyes. "Even the baby's impatient! He's been kicking the whole time you were gone!"

"What?" Antonio nearly dropped the food, catching it at the last second and hurrying over to Lovina. "The baby was kicking? Why didn't you tell me!"

"Because when it hears your voice, it'll either get more irritated- and kick me more- or be really happy- and kick me more. Lose lose situation." Lovina reached over and grabbed a slice of tomato. "If it means that much to you, you can put your hand on my stomach and you'll probably feel it kick."

Antonio grinned, and immediately put both his hands on Lovina's swollen belly, giggling in a way that made Lovina snort. "I felt him! He's kicking!" Lovina spared a brief thought as to whether all fathers looked like this when they felt a baby kick; or Antonio was just a pedo.

"That's generally what babies do," Lovina ruffled Antonio's hair. "Now come on, the movie's going to start soon."

Antonio paid no heed, instead placing his head on Lovina's stomach. Lovina quirked an eyebrow; the idiot probably thought he could hear the baby talking or something.

Just then, a particularly violent kick was delivered precisely to the spot where Antonio's cheekbone was resting. Somehow, Lovina could tell that the baby would take after her in temperament.

"Ow! Lovi, you told the baby to hurt me!" Antonio's face was a mix of shock and accusation that had Lovina laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. "It's not funny! The baby hurt me!"

"I-I di-didn't d-do anyth-thing!" She managed to get out. "N-not m-my fault!"

After a few more minutes, both of them completely ignoring the movie (Antonio was pouting and Lovina was bursting into fits of laughter), Lovina noticed something even more hilarious.

"It's starting to bruise!"

3 months later

After a long, profanity filled delivery; Lovina had finally had her baby. Who was lovely, healthy- and looked exactly like Antonio.

Fuck.

Her first words to the baby were: "If you're as much of an idiot as your father… Please don't get a girlfriend. I don't want to have to stop her from strangling you."

Antonio's first words were: "You're going to be a great football player, with a kick like that."

Authoress' Random Ramble

FOOTBALL AS IN SOCCER

Not American football.

Just to clear that up for any American's reading this and being like: but only *insert position here* needs to kick!

This would have been out earlier *cough cough yesterday cough cough*, but I was reading How To Woo A Tomato by Pineapple Desu and… I sort of forgot I was supposed to be writing this XD

That having been said… Read it now. NOW. It's awesome. And very funny.

Well, hoped you liked it!

Less than three. Less than three.