Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, I own only my story.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Here's chapter 2!
Random: There wasn't a quote in the summary, just thought I'd tell you. When the original story I posted was here, there was a quote in the summary, and I forgot to change it. Anyway. Proceed with CAUTION! Just so you know, this story might be done with in like two more chapters. But, I will do a side story for it, like a two chapter sequel!
Enjoy!
Read and review! No reviews equals no updates! It's a win win for both of us.
Love is Forever
Summary: The pain was just too unbearable as I watched the girl I fell in love with, kiss the guy that I thought was my best friend.
Chapter 2: Scream at Me
I tossed my bag next to my seat as I entered my second class. My chest was still tight as I continued to imagine Clare and Adam kissing. It was disgusting my eyes. I grimaced. I shuddered at the very thought. I clenched my hair in my hands and growled. I looked up when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Are you okay?" Coach Armstrong asked me.
"I'm fine." I muttered, looking down at my desk. He nodded and walked off. Coach Armstrong started to teach a lesson on long division, great. Second grade stuff. I rolled my eyes and licked the corner of my mouth. I leaned back and slouched in my chair and reached into my bag as I pulled out my notebook. I flipped through the pages and soon found an empty page.
I started to scribble and draw on it, and leaned my head against my hand. I pulled my black sharpie out and wrote over the words the I wrote, and the doodles that I drawn on the paper. A long heavy sigh escaped my lips and I soon started to imagine the two again. I felt like throwing up. I just can't believe Clare would go after my best friend. And Adam being my so called friend should've known better. He knew Clare was mine. He knew damn well that I loved her.
He's such a fucking backstabber. I slammed my fists on the desk causing the students around me to jump at my sudden action.
"Mr. Goldsworthy, are you okay?" Coach Armstrong asked, his eyebrow up in question.
"Can I be excused?" I asked, not lifting my head up from my desk. I knew he nodded his head, and I got up and exited the classroom. Instead of heading to the bathroom, I walked outside and sat down in a secluded place...the same place where Clare, Adam, and I filmed that Romeo and Juliet project. I sat down on the table and sighed heavily. Okay, I know skipping class is bad, but fuck, I needed time alone.
I laid back on the table and stared up at the trees. I swallowed the lump in my throat and pulled the sleeve of my jacket down and looked at the cuts on my arm. I ran my finger tips over them and raked my fingers through my hair.
"Eli?"
I sat up and pulled my sleeve down quickly.
"What are you doing here Clare?" I asked lowly.
"I could ask the same about you." She sat down next to me. I got a little nervous when I took note that she was looking down at my arm. I crossed my arms across my chest and said, "Seriously, what are you doing here?" She place her bag on the table and pulled out a notebook and a pen.
"I come here for my free period." She stated. Clare opened her notebook and she began to write. I watched her curiously. Clare reached up and she tucked her hair behind her ear. I reached up and without realizing, I started to play with her hair. Clare looked up and she looked at my hand. She said nervously, "Eli? What are you doing?" I moved closer to her. Clare's face turned pink as I moved much closer to her.
God, I missed it so much.
I missed grazing my lips against hers and watching her face turn pink. I cupped her face and her eyes closed. I was so close. I could feel her breath on my face, and I closed the gap between us. I crushed my lips over hers, and Clare tried to pull away, but I grasped the back of her head and crushed my lips harder over hers. Clare whimpered and I passed my tongue along her bottom lip.
Clare moaned and she hesitantly parted her lips. I darted my tongue into her mouth and she gasped. I pushed my tongue in deeper, tasting her sweet mouth. Clare's eyes shot open, and she pushed me away.
"Eli, what are you doing?"
"Clare...you didn't...I thought...
"You thought wrong. Eli, I can't do this...not to Adam." Clare interrupted me and looked away.
"Who cares about Adam. What about me!" I shouted.
I watched her nervously bite her lip. Clare looked over at me, then back at the ground, averting her gaze slowly. I opened my mouth to speak, but Clare cut me off, she moved to me and her lips were over mine. I swallowed the lump in my throat and she pulled away, her forehead glued to mine. She looked up at me when she pulled away. Clare said, "Eli...I can't do this to Adam. I'm sorry. I'm...we have to be friends only." She got up to leave, and I reached out and grabbed her wrist.
"Only friends? Clare, just last week we were dating. Then because I went over the line with Fitz, you decided to dump me, and you did the worse fucking bitch ass move ever and went after my best friend." I said in an icy tone.
"Eli...you're hurting me." Clare whined as my grip on her wrist tightened.
"And...and you don't think you're not hurting me?" I muttered.
"What?" She questioned. I sighed heavily and let go of her small wrist. I pulled the sleeves of my jacket down and showed her my arms. She gasped, and covered her mouth. I said, "This is what you and Adam have both caused. I thought I had the will power to stop. Now it's become a habit." Clare walked up to me and she sat down next to me. She took my arm in her hand and grazed her small finger tips over the cuts.
"Eli...why would you go so far into doing this?" She asked. I shrugged my shoulders. I said, "It feels good. It helps me calm down." I lowered my gaze and Clare looked up at me again, her eyes glazed with tears that haven't fallen yet. She said, "Eli you have to stop doing this."
"Easier said than done Blue Eyes." I responded. I pulled my arms away and pulled the sleeves down. I started to walk away, but I turned back and said, "You have no room to tell me what I have to stop Clare. I do this because you and Adam drove me to do it. It's your fault. Blame yourself. I'm not going to stop." I turned away, not wanting to see her cry. I heard her sob, and I continued to walk away.
I entered the school and heard the bell ring. I walked to my class and quickly grabbed my bag and walked out before Coach Armstrong could notice. I walked to my locker and twisted the combination in. I opened my locker and tossed my math book in there. When I closed my locker I turned around and saw Adam standing in front of me.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"Nothing. Clare is normally here waiting for me, but she's not. Have you seen her?" Adam walked up to me.
I shook my head saying, "I don't have a leash on her. She's your girlfriend." I grimaced at the word. I walked by him and as I headed to my next class, I bumped into someone, knocking them down. When I realized who it was, I helped her up.
"Sorry Clare." I muttered.
I walked by her and I listened to Adam ask why she is crying after I helped her up. I looked back and watched Clare shake her head, not wanting to tell him. And she better hope she doesn't. I scratched the back of my head and walked into my class. I chewed on the inside of my bottom lip, and realized that I had made Clare cry earlier. That's another reason why she broke up with me...
She said I had an act of making her cry. I couldn't help it. I mean if she said something that'll push my buttons, I'm going to say something mean. I don't mean to make her cry. Hell, I hate to see her cry.
I laid my head down on my desk and refused to let anybody see that I was crying.
Clare dumping me was all my fault.
If I would've listened to her, I'm pretty sure she and I would still be together. I always have to fucking ruin everything. I clenched the sleeve of my jacket and let the tears fall and drip on the desk.
"Eli." I looked up after I rubbed my eyes with my sleeve.
"Hm?" I asked.
"Mrs. Souvet needs to see you in her office."
Great...Clare decided to fucking go that far and tell the guidance counciler. I got up and walked out of the classroom. I headed to the guidance councilers office, and knocked on the door. I heard Mrs. Souvet say, "Come in." I opened the door and walked in, finding Clare and Adam sitting in two of the three chairs in front of her desk.
"Please take a seat Eli." She said. I sat down.
"What's this about?" I asked.
"Well...to put it simply. Your friends are worried about you." Mrs. Souvet tells me. I tried not to laugh. I only twisted my eyes and looked away. Mrs. Souvet said, "Is there something funny about this? Eli, Clare tells me that you're hurting yourself." I looked over at Clare and noticed that her head was bowed. I looked over at Mrs. Souvet and I said, "It's not really any of their business is it?" I clenched the arm rest of the chair. Mrs. Souvet narrowed her eyes at me questionably.
"If they're your friends Eli it is their business if they care about you."
"That's fucking hilarious. If they cared about me as much as they said, they wouldn't be doing what they're doing now. I'm sorry, but I can't be here right now. I can't continue to listen to this bull shit." I got up and stormed out of the room. I paced outside in the room before I decided to go to the bathroom again. I burst through the door, and eyed the person standing in front of me.
"Emo boy."
"Fitz." I muttered.
I walked by him and shut myself in the large stall. I sat down against the door, and breathed heavily.
"Hey emo boy, open up." Fitz pounded his fist on the door and I growled in frustration. I clenched my hair in my hands and soon got up. I opened the door and screamed, "What the hell do you want! What is it!" Fitz narrowed his eyes at me and he shoved me into the stall, pushing me up against it. I glared at him with the same icy glare and Fitz said, "You need to learn how to keep your mouth shut."
"Then leave me alone." I shoved Fitz away and pushed him out of the stall. I locked it and swallowed the lump in my throat. I heard Fitz walk out and I sighed in relief. I reached into my back pocket and grabbed my wallet, and pulled the folded note out.
I grabbed the razor and lifted my sleeve. I held my breath and placed the razor against my wrist, and created another cut. I hissed and continued to cut that place on my wrist. The cut was deep, and dripping blood quickly. I reached up and grabbed a good amount of toilet paper, and placed it over my wrist. My nerves soon calmed down and in attempt, I wrapped a good amount of toilet paper around my wrist, and got up. I pulled my sleeve down, and hid my razor in the folded note and shoved it in my wallet.
I walked out of the bathroom, not realizing that blood was dripping from my fingers, and seeping through my jacket.
End of Chapter 2
Oh no! What's going to happen next? Ehh...just um, don't hate me please! -hides behind chair- Leave me a review if you want the next chapter! I promise that the next chapter will be much longer, and it will make more sense as to why Eli is cutting himself.
In other words...
See you soon!
MewIchigo24
Aishiteru!
Arigato for those who read and reviewed!
Sayonara -waves-