JKA: Hey everybody! jakxkeiraaddict is in the house! Here's chapter three, for your viewing pleasure. ^_^

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Chapter 3: Werewolves, and Witches, and Pop Stars, Oh My!

If any civilians had coincidentally been passing the Naughty Ottsel, they would have sworn they'd gone insane when what appeared to be a crimson, horned devil and a glowing, winged angel burst from the double-doors.

In truth, the two creatures were none other than Aleighna and Chris, both wide-eyed with fear due to having had their elf-turned-werewolf brother chasing them out into the chilly air of midnight.

"Stupid mutt," Chris muttered under her breath, referring to their dog of a sibling.

"Hey, it was miss bonehead's fault," Aleighna pointed out, mentally swearing to tear off Ashelin's other arm for invoking Jak's canine instincts.

"True," Chris agreed, her long, pointed tail flicking irritably. "Do you think we could get the genie to leave Ashelin as a skeleton when she changes the rest of us back?"

"I really hope so," Aleighna snickered, grinning evilly as she imagined the redhead stuck as a sack of bones for the rest of her life. "If we can find this genie, that is."

"That reminds me," the blonde-haired devil remarked, her face falling. "How exactly are we going to get to Kras City?"

Aleighna pondered that for a moment, her gaze sliding absentmindedly to the pavement as she thought. She reached around unconsciously with one of her newfound wings to scratch an irritating itch on the side of her face.

Several moments of silence passed before she realized what her extra appendage was doing.

"Oh, duh," she sighed, internally kicking herself for her brief lapse of stupidity.

"What?" Chris inquired, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Wordlessly, Aleighna extended her wing on the side closest to Chris and smacked her sister lightly upside the head with it.

"What was that for?" Chris demanded, placing her hands on her hips and scowling at her twin.

Rolling her eyes, Aleighna waved her wing in front of her sibling's face, hoping she'd take the hint.

"Oh, I get it!" Chris exclaimed, comprehension dawning on her features. "We'll fly to Kras!"

"Thank you!" the green-eyed angel laughed, throwing her hands up in the air dramatically.

"Well, what are we doing standing around here for?" the she-elf-turned-devil teased, giving her sister a good-natured jab in the arm. "We've only got until dawn to find this 'Diane' person, so let's get going, glow-girl!"

"Whatever you say," Aleighna giggled, spreading her wings to their full span and swiftly taking off into the air, leaving Chris behind, illuminated in the light of the bar sign.

"Hey!" Chris yelled after her sister, folding her arms over her chest. "Forget something?"

"Aw, I'm just messing with ya, sis," Aleighna chortled, swooping back down to the level of the walkway and picking Chris up effortlessly by her forearms. She took off into the air again within the same second, resulting in a startled yell from her twin.

"I thought angels were supposed to be nice," Chris grumbled, watching the murky waters of the port streak past below them as her sibling soared over the wall surrounding Haven City.

"You just keep thinking that," Aleighna joked, her eyes fixed on their course as she headed in the direction of Kras.

Meanwhile, inside the Naughty Ottsel, things were rapidly descending into chaos.

Daxter's vampire instincts had kicked in, and he was currently hanging upside-down from the ceiling, his eyes roving his group of monster-fied friends for a suitable neck to snack on.

With a low hiss, the white-furred rodent dropped from his perch and landed on the rim of Keira's witch hat, leaning over the edge for access to her throat. Keira screamed with surprise and flung him off, sending him crashing into the nearest wall.

"Pretty stars…" Daxter muttered in the heavily accented voice of a vampire, his eyes crossing as his head teetered from side-to-side.

"Bloodsucker," Keira growled under her breath, her tone also altered to fit the typical cackle of a witch.

Straightening her hat, the green-skinned she-elf strode purposefully towards the nearest booth, where she had placed an ebony cauldron in the center of the table. A mysterious, sickeningly pink liquid bubbled inside, and she smiled expectantly at it, its eerie glow reflected in her emerald eyes.

Suddenly, a puff of violet smoke erupted beside her, and an instant later Torn appeared quite literally out of thin air, magic wand in hand and frizzy white beard trailing by his knees.

"Teleporting! Wizard lesson number five-hundred-and-twenty-three!" he announced proudly, his trademark scratchy voice several pitches higher than normal due to his transformation.

His gaze fell on the mysterious brew Keira was currently standing over, and he scooted closer, eyeing it curiously.

"Ooh, what do we have here?" he asked, obviously intrigued by whatever the young witch was concocting. "Could that be… a love potion?"

"Shh!" Keira hissed, yanking his neon hat down over his face to shut him up. "Yes, it's a love potion. I'm going to give it to Jak."

"How come?" Torn questioned, his voice muffled by the fabric of his hat. "You're already dating, so what's the point?"

"I think he loves that bone more than me!" Keira cried, pointing in the direction of her werewolf boyfriend.

Sure enough, Jak was crouched near the back counter in a very dog-like fashion; gnawing on the bone Ashelin had thrown him — namely, her arm.

"Jak, you mangy mutt!" Ashelin snapped at him from where she was currently seated at a bar stool, trying desperately to keep herself from falling apart… literally. "I need my arm back!"

Jak paused in his chewing long enough to snarl at the skeleton, and then he went back to leaving his teeth marks in her bone, scratching behind his ear unconsciously with his foot at an irksome flea.

"Damn it, Jak!" Ashelin yelled as her leg broke at the knee, sending the lower piece clattering to the ground. The werewolf by her feet instantly reached out with his tail, bringing the bone closer to him and placing it possessively under his arms as he continued to nibble on the first one.

"Ugh!" Ashelin groaned, exasperated. She turned to the man — or, more accurately, stuffed animal — beside her, hoping for a little backup. "Sig, help me out here!"

The giant poopsey-bear offered her no response, just continued to sit lifelessly on his bar stool, his plastic eyes staring at nothing.

"This sucks," Ashelin, grumbled, folding her arms over her ribcage — an action that caused her remaining limb to dislocate from its socket and add itself to Jak's growing collection of treats.

Suddenly, the sound of someone tapping a microphone rang throughout the pub. All eyes turned to the giant speakers situated in the corner, where Tess stood in between them, barely recognizable thanks to her transformation into a chart-topping pop star.

"Hey, all you monsters out there!" Tess called into the mike, her voice altered drastically from its normal bubbly tone. "My name's Ke$ha, and I say it's time we kicked this party up a few notches!"

She pointed at Daxter — who'd regained his composure after his less-than-friendly exchange with the wall — and yelled, "Hit it, Daxxie!"

The vampire-rodent instantly launched himself from his position against the wall and behind the bar, landing right next to the stereo system thanks to the unnatural strength that came with being an immortal rat. Grinning slyly, he flipped the music to a different song, and then cued for Tess… Ke$ha to do her thing.

Beneath the counter, Jak's ears perked up as the new song started. He recognized the beat instantly, and he leapt to his feet without a conscious thought, bounding on all fours over to join Tess at the microphone.

While the werewolf was distracted with trying to find a mike for himself, Ashelin discreetly stole her very chewed-up bones back and struggled vainly to reattach them.

And then something happened that nobody had ever imagined was even possible, not in a million years… Jak began to sing.

"My fist kiss went a little like this!" Jak chanted to the flow of the music, his knee banging in time with the quick beat. "And twist! And twist!"

"Well my first kiss went a little like this!" Tess cut in, singing Ke$ha's… or rather, her part. "And twist! And twist!"

Jak picked up the lyrics again, his head nodding in sync with his knee.

"I said no more teachers, and no more books,

I got a kiss under the bleachers, hoping that nobody looks.

Lips like licorice, tongue like candy,

Excuse me miss, but can I get you out your panties?"

As soon as the last line escaped his lips, Jak flashed a brief look and a wicked grin in Keira's direction, who blinked rapidly at her canine boyfriend before bursting into a fit of giggles.

"In the back of the car, on the way to the bar,

I got you on my list; I got you on my list.

At the foot of the stairs, with my fingers in your hair,

Baby this is it."

Tess and Jak both simultaneously started jumping up and down as the chorus kicked in, and everyone else in the room — apart from the very cuddly, very frozen Sig — broke out into dance in response.

"She won't ever get enough,

Once she gets a little touch.

If I had it my way,

You know that I'd make her say."

Instead of singing a drawn-out "ooh", as the lyrics went, Jak let loose a long werewolf howl, resulting in a cheer from his monster audience.

The only person in the room who didn't appear to be enjoying themselves was a certain subdued and still very broken skeleton.

"This is insane!" Ashelin yelled over the roar of the music and Tess/Ke$ha as she jumped in to sing her part. "Jak singing? Daxter trying to suck people's blood? EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!"

"You have no idea where you're going, do you?" Chris sighed, gripping her twin's arms as the latter flew swiftly over an endless expanse of desert.

"Well… I know it's near the wasteland," Aleighna replied uncertainly, attempting futilely to get a sense of where she was headed in the impenetrable blackness of the moonless night.

Chris glanced down at the slowly churning sand that surrounded them on all sides.

"I guess we're getting close, then," she snorted sarcastically, adjusting her hold on Aleighna's forearms as the angel shifted her course, searching frantically for some indication as to where Kras City may be.

Silence reigned over the two sisters for a long moment, apart from the whoosh of the wind in their ears.

"Do you think we'll be able to find this genie?" Aleighna finally broke it with her quiet voice, apprehension evident in her tone. "I don't want to be trapped as an angel the rest of my life…"

"Of course we will," Chris assured her confidently, smiling to herself. "Don't worry your glowing little head about it. And even if we don't, at least we'll be stuck as cool creatures, and not just rotting bones like Ashelin."

Aleighna giggled. "Yeah, I suppose you're right."

The two siblings swerved around one of the many mountain ranges in the wasteland, and abruptly spotted several specks of light less than a mile away, just beyond the perimeter of the vast desert.

"Is that Kras?" Aleighna inquired hopefully, squinting in hopes of getting a better view of what could only be the signs of civilization.

"Either it is, or there's some other racing town around here that we've never heard of," Chris confirmed, noting the unmistakable rumbling of numerous car engines emitting from within the city boundaries.

"Alright, let's go find Daxter's little genie friend and get this mess sorted out," Aleighna declared, flapping her wings more rapidly to increase her speed.

"Amen to that, sister!" Chris agreed whole-heartedly, gripping onto her twin for dear life as they streaked through the air, both of their sights set on the quickly enlarging buildings of Kras City.

JKA: Hope you all got a laugh out of that, and if you did, you get a cookie. XD Next up is FES' chapter!