How To Become A Girl
Chapter Fifteen
I took a cab back the the JW palace. Alice and Rosalie were peppering me with questions and I told them it didn't go so well. I told them Tanya was there and she created a big mess. I told them I've agreed to join them every Friday. Then they pushed my ass to bed, saying I needed to get my beauty sleep. Beauty sleep? I tossed and turned in bed that night. Trying to push away that strong emotion. Fucking emotions! And then my cellphone rang. Ugh. Seriously? Why did Charlie have to call now? I was already on the verge! I don't have so much time left to sleep! And I still have to go with that thing with Riley. I let myself miss the call. I sunk back into my bed. Then it rang again. Alright, alright, alright. I'm coming.
"Hello?" I answered lazily. "Dad? Is something wrong?"
The person on the other line chuckled. "I'm not your father."
That British accent..."Carlisle?" I asked.
He laughed this time. "You really don't recognize me? Are you really that sleepy?"
Aaah. It's Edward. Ha! I am sleepy. "Edward?" I asked again.
"Yeah. I'm...right outside the gate. Your gate." He said.
Okay. What is he doing outside the gate?...Oh. Oh!
"Come on in. I'll meet you at the door. Tell them you're here for me. So that they won't wake Jazz up." I grabbed a robe to cover my new pajamas. Cue eye roll. Those boy cut panties and tanktops are my new pajamas. Sleepwear is the more appropriate word. I tied my hair up in a messy bun, splashed some water on my face to wake me up a little. Then I ran down the long staircase, ran across the living room, too, before I arrived at the huge door.
I opened it and stepped out. It was dark and I couldn't see Edward on the...could you really call this a porch? It's too huge to be a porch! I squinted my eyes to try to see through the darkness. There was so little light coming from the inside of the house. Ugh. Damn it! Why didn't I turn on the porch lights? Stupid, stupid! Why was I in a hurry anyway? Just then he stepped in front of me, letting the light hit his green eyes. There were only two pairs of green eyes in this place. And I'm quite sure, now, that this guy standing right me was Edward but there's something wrong with him. I couldn't place it, though.
"Bella?" His voice was low and husky.
"Yeah. It's me. It's pretty cold out here. Come on in." I turned around and he grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. I looked back at our hands for a second before sucking a whole lot of air and pulling him in the house. I'm sure Jazz and Em would kill Edward if they saw him come in with me right now. And the fact that I'm wearing these ultra revealing sleepwear. We headed for the kitchen and I grabbed each of us a glass of water.
Believe it or not, that was the only time I turned around to face him throughout our whole walk to the kitchen. And what a sight to see! His eyes was red. I didn't know if that's a result of drugs or alcohol or if he cried. But he was staring at me. Why was he staring at me?
He gulped down the water and I refilled it. "Edward?"
He chuckled, "You're still not sure? If I was a stranger and you'd pull me in the house, I might've raped you already."
"Yeah, well, Jazz and Em will hear me scream and then they'd come down and beat you up if you were the stranger." I shrugged.
"Right." He took another sip then he was quiet.
"Edward? Are you alright?" I looked back at him. I wanted to know what he's been doing, unless he starts telling about Tanya and how he fucked her. Not nice on my part.
"Yeah..." He looked down at his half-empty glass.
I raised my eyebrow at him when he raised his eyes again.
"No." His voice trembled.
"Why? What happened?" I stepped towards him.
His face went red. I placed my hand on the side of his face, cupping it. I felt his stubble graze my hand and it was like there were little electric ends on every strand of hair that was growing on his face. I brushed my thumb over his cheek. "It's okay." I told him. I felt something wet between our skin. Was he crying? Oh my gosh, he was crying. "Edward..." I called his name again. He shut his eyes and he cried more.
"Hey, hey. It's alright. Tell me. Come on, Edward. Tell me." I urged him softly. I know that if he tells me, he'll chill down.
He sniffed, "It's a long story."
I shrugged and sat on the counter. "I've got time."
"Actually, you don't. You need to sleep." His smile went half-way then returned to a frown.
"I couldn't sleep." I looked at him, waiting for whatever he needs to let out.
He sighed, "Fine. I talked to Tanya after dinner while I brought her back to her place. I told her, I've had enough and that...I'm breaking up with her. Then she..." He took a deep breath before he continued, "She...told me that I was never enough. That I'll never be enough to anybody. That I'm a worthless person. That I'm not a good son. That I'm a bad person. That it was my fault why I have a dead sister. It's my fault why Esme's never really satisfied with me. And my history proved that." He placed the glass down on the counter. He was crying even more, now.
"Ssshhh. It's going to be fine. Don't believe what Tanya said, okay?" I told him.
"How could I not, Bella? Everything she said is true." He ran his hands through his hair.
"No. What she said is the complete opposite of who you are. Clearly, she doesn't know you well." I shook my head.
"I've was with her for a year." He murmured.
"So? The time you spend in a relationship doesn't matter if she doesn't make an effort to know you." I gestured hand towards him.
"How can you say this, Bella? I made a mistake almost two months ago now with you. I shouldn't have touched you. I fucked up that night, too." He said frustratingly.
"No, no. We shouldn't have done that. But we were drunk. I know that's a lame excuse for what we did. It takes two to have sex. We fucked up. We made a mistake. And I said that, because I know you. And I saw you make an effort in fixing up what he could've had and what we have now. We wouldn't have been friends if it weren't for you." I fumbled with the robe nervously. I don't know how he would take it.
He was silent.
I looked up and he was still crying, trembling with his face buried in his hands. Edward Cullen looked so...hurt. So...fragile. I wanted so much to let him know that Tanya is a bitch and she's a liar. I wanted to let him know that it's alright. I wanted to let him know that he's fine.
I pulled his hand and hugged him. I wanted to hug him. So I did. And now, he's standing between my legs that hung from the counter. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me and he gripped me tight as he cried.
"Ssshhh." I rubbed his back. He was still wearing his black shirt from a while ago during the dinner.
He pulled away, landing his hands on my hips. "I have to go..."
"It's three am! You can go later." I yawned. I'm starting to feel heavy now. Something about the hug just made me feel too comfortable.
"See? You're sleepy." He half-smiled.
"But you can't go now. It's three in the morning. Come on, you can go home later." I tugged at his shirt, hopping off the counter and pulling him to my bedroom. Honestly, I just don't want him to leave. Period. I felt like a twelve-year old, excited for her first sleepover, ever. I pushed him into the bathroom in my room. "Wash your face, change, or whatever. I have lots of huge shirts but I think Alice kept them all away."
I felt my eyelids drop as I waited for him. I took off my robe and hurriedly went under the sheets, excited to sleep. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was unconscious.
"Oh, Bella! Are you-?" I woke up to Alice's loud gasp.
I sat up but I felt heavy. So I propped up myself a little to see her. She had her tools ready but her face was filled with shock. Must be my hair. She's probably thinking about how she's going to fix that one hell of a nest! "Oh, come on, Al! It's so early!" I buried my head back underneath the pillows. I felt an arm pull me towards a body. "Alice." I whined again. The arm came in contact with my skin and it blazed there. Oh, damn! I followed the arm that was now securely wrapped around my waist. I gasped. Shit. Edward.
"Edward." I shook him. He didn't wake up. "Edward!" His eyes fluttered open, still puffed. "We've been caught." I told him. I looked around and saw Alice still frozen in her spot. I ran to the door to lock it and Alice gave me an angry look.
"No. It's not like that." I shook my head at her.
"Then, what is it like?" Her eyes flickered between me and Edward who were now sitting on the bed.
"Well, I...Edward came here during midnight. He wanted to talk and we got tired so, I pulled him to bed with me." I shrugged.
"Yeah. That pretty much sums up what happened." Edward muttered.
"Mhmmm...Well, Edward, you have to go. Bella needs to get ready for her date." Alice continued to run around the room.
"Okay." He hopped off the bed and he put on his jeans.
"Hey, Al. Mind if we invite Edward, tomorrow?" I asked pixie. Seriously, he needs friends, especially if Tanya just dumped him.
"Um...Sure. I'm pretty sure, Jazz and Em will love your company." She said monotonously.
"I'll talk to them." I shrugged.
"Okay." He said again. He turned around to face me. Then he leaned in to hug and kiss me on the forehead. My blush gave it away. He chuckled. "Thanks, Bella. I'll see you, tomorrow. Bye Alice."
He locked my bedroom door behind him. And the moment he was out of sight and hear. Alice gave me the wide eyes look. "What the hell was that, Bella? Is he your boyfriend now?"
"What? No. I'm going on a date with Riley, remember?" I rolled my eyes. "He needs a friend badly. And I don't see anything wrong with him. He's actually hotter than Riley if you ask me."
"Well, yeah. I suppose that's right." She shrugged. "I mean his green eyes..." She looked up dreamily. "But that's not the point! You just let him in like that? Like he didn't do anything to you?" Her anger was back.
"Correction. We did something. And that's fine. I've gone past that already. And Edward's really awesome." I went to the bathroom and locked the door. I didn't want Alice telling me to be careful with him. Because, I know him and he's not how they see him. It's going to get frustrating if I quarrel with her.
"Bella!" Alice called my name again in the middle of my bath. I rolled my eyes.
"What?" I shouted back.
"Whose dress is this?"
Oops. Man, she's good. Does she put I.D. numbers on her dresses? "Um...Esme's."
"Why do have her dress? What happened last night?" Alice was freaking out again.
I stepped out of the bathroom and she was by my bed, tapping her foot.
"We had dinner." I tried to hide from her glare by going in the walk-in closet and dressing up in my new underwear. Thanks to Alice.
"I think there's more." She simply said as I stepped back out into the room. She handed me my clothes and I groaned as I recognized that it was another dress. "What happened?"
I finally gave up. I should just tell her. It's Alice. She's like a bestfriend, now. I mean she helped me with Edward. "Tanya was there last night and dinner didn't go so well. Alice, I really don't want to talk about it. But...Esme did invite me to have dinner every Friday at their house. I said, yes. She's Esme. I couldn't say no." I slipped on the dress easily. The cloth was like Esme's dress but this one was cream and had pink and brown swirls and twirls on it. Girly.
Her face went from disgust to...joy? She was happy? "Tanya was there? I bet she's the cause of the bad dinner. And it's nice for Esme to invite you." She hopped up and handed me a pair of white heavy shoes. It was lacy and there were like weaves on the tall base of the shoes. I looked at it questioningly.
"Please, tell me this isn't the first time you've ever seen a pair of wedged heels." She shook her head and massaged her temples.
"Ha! I wish I don't end up like a wedged potato when I walk with this thing!" I put them on and tied the cloth strap into a ribbon above my heel. I suppose that's where it's supposed to go.
"There. You look beautiful. Now, the hair. I hope you don't mind if we just curl this a little and let it down." She pushed me to the dresser.
"I already look like a barbie. Why not finish the look?" I smiled sarcastically.
She pulled at my hair a little harder than usual.
"Ow." My hand flew to the part where it hurt and she slapped my hand away.
"You're so hotheaded this morning." She brushed and dried my hair.
Why was I so annoying anyway? Oh right. Maybe because I wanted to sleep more. Because I want to be lazy today after a week of stress. And I don't think a date with a guy, I know little about would relax me. Seriously, it's just adding more stress. My sleep last night was so comfortable. Like really really comfortable, I didn't even want to wake up this morning. But yeah, Alice's loud gasp had to send me flying out of bed. Correction. Me and Edward out of bed. I think he was having a good sleep, too. And after what happened last night, I think he deserves it.
"Jeez, Bella. You've got eye luggages! They're so purple!" Alice head appeared in front of me as she dabbed a small sponge underneath my eyes.
"Well, that's what we get if we pull Bella out of bed too early." I told her and she rolled her eyes.
She continued putting make-up on my skin. But I couldn't really call it make-up. It was too light to be considered as make-up. My thoughts flew back to the recent weeks' events. So much had happened, it felt like it's been another month already. So much had happened it felt like I've known Edward for so long already. So much had happened that I'm starting to feel like Esme's my own mother.
"There. All done." Alice jumped and stood behind me.
My jaw dropped open. Pink lips? Pinkish eyes? Pinkish blush? What is up with all the pink? "Alice! What did you do? I look sooo girly!"
"Riley will love it." She giggled.
I pouted and decided there's really nothing I could do. Why did I even agree to this?
A knock came on the door and Dorota's head poked in. "Miss Bella. A Mister Riley is at the door for you."
I sighed and Alice rolled her eyes. "Just go get it, Bella. This might turn out to be better than you expect."
Oh well. Here goes my much wanted sleep. Wish me luck!