I've decided to change this story to an M-rating. Tell me if I should change it back.

How To Become A Girl

Chapter Sixteen

"Comparisons are easily done. Once you've had a taste of perfection."

Katy Perry "Thinking Of You"

Okay. Fine. Riley's gorgeous. Like really gorgeous. But there was something about him. His blonde hair, his blue eyes, his smile...they seem...too normal, too ordinary. Nothing like Edward's bronze but coppery, messy hair. Or Edward's green eyes...Or his defined jaw...Or his cute pointy nose...Or...why am I even comparing him to Edward? They're two different people! Yeah! Edward's better. Oh god. I should really stop now.

We were walking through the park, telling stories about each other. But I couldn't quite pay attention. I don't know why. My head seems to be somewhere else. Actually I think my heart is still on my bed, taking it's wonderful sleep. My hands were placed behind me as we walked slowly.

"Bella?" Riley grabbed my waist and shook it, pulling me away from my train of thought. I pulled away from his grip. I swear, I almost tripped when he shook me.

"Huh? What's wrong?" I whipped my head around to check my surroundings. Looks normal.

He chuckled. "You're so out of here. Did you even notice that you were walking the wrong way? You're cute."

Edward used 'breathtaking' to describe me. "I'm sorry. Please, lead the way." I forced myself to smile.

He grinned and pulled my hand. It felt wrong. Actually, everything feels so wrong at the moment. Like going out felt so wrong especially if my body is somewhat aching for my bed. I mean, I haven't even had breakfast, either. It's eating me up!

He brought me to a small field and there was a basket on a picnic mat. I could feel a grin break my face. Finally! Food! What? I'm really hungry. If I was with Edward, he'd bring me to his mom to be fed first before we go on a date. That is if we are going to go on a date. But seriously, I'm really hungry.

I discreetly tried pulling my hand away from Riley's finger by finger when finally, it's just our index fingers linked together. Slowly, that slipped, too and I sighed a breath of relief. Riley patted the space next to him and I stood there for a while deciding how to sit in this dress. I kneeled on the other side of the mat before putting down my ass on the ground and moving my legs a little to the side. He chuckled at my awkward movements and handed me a PB&J sandwich. I squeezed the bread together and the jam oozed out the sides. I took a bite and mmmm...I think I forgot everything at the moment.

"Yummy?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded and smiled.

"You've got a little something there." He pointed to my lips.

I raised my hand to take it off but he stopped it.

"Let me get it." And just like that, he swooped in for a kiss. A kiss that got too heated up and his hand landed on my knees. It was now running up and he's thisclose in exposing my underwear to the public. Okay. So. Apparently, this is my first official kiss. With this guy? It doesn't even feel right and the only reason I couldn't pull back was because he already was pinning me down. I dropped the sandwich from my hand and tried pushing him away. He wasn't moving. Oh God. I could feel the acid in my stomach rise up to my throat. Oh god! Tell me he's not raping me here. He pulled me closer, tighter into his body and I couldn't do anything. I could feel the tears run down my cheek but he wasn't stopping. Why wasn't I attempting to make some noise? Because everything was caught in my throat. I was too shocked.

I could feel my back rise from the ground but I was still pressed up his body. I could feel myself go limp against him. I was exhausted to start with and this fucking rape thing is making me even more exhausted. And I couldn't fight back. I hope someone saves me. He put me down again and this time he pulled off but as I looked around, I figured we're back in the car.

I punched him in the face. "Fucker!"

He rubbed his jaw and looked back at me. "Feisty. Relax, Bella. You're going to love what I'm going to do."

"Fuck! No!" I tried moving my legs so I could kick him with my knee but he straddled me already and had already locked my legs together. I let out a scream but he's already cupped my mouth.

"Damn it, Bella! Will you shut up?" I tried pulling away but he was so strong. I couldn't...all I could do was cry. I was so weak. He did things to me. This was so different than when I was drunk with Edward. He was forcing himself, it was painful. Both emotionally and physically. What's the difference? I didn't participate here! With Edward, I did. I'm sure, I did. I couldn't imagine Edward raping me. No. Edward wouldn't rape me. And then...I'm pretty sure, I passed out.

I woke up on an empty bench and everything came crashing down on me. Riley just raped me. Only God will know how many times he did. I looked down to see that I was fully dressed. I feel sick. I feel disgusted with myself right now. I buried my face in my hands crying my heart out. Why did this happen to me? I don't know what I did wrong. I just...God! I don't know what to do. I checked the dress' pocket for my phone. It wasn't anywhere. How in the world am I going to go home? Don't tell me, I have to walk in these shoes. Ugh. My knees can even barely stand up.

I stood up and I almost fell down again. I held onto the bench for support and I walked slowly. The park was almost empty. And it was dark. I'd say, sometime around midnight. I hope someone I know, aside from Riley, would bump into me here. I walked down the sidewalk. I know that my dress is ripped almost halfway through the skirt. And I know that I might have bruises everywhere because I feel sore.

I kept walking despite the weakness that I could feel in my knees.

Damn! I'm tough, I'm tough...I told myself again and again. I leaned on a wall finally giving up on walking. My whole body just really hurts! I looked up and saw the boutique sign. My eyes started to hurt. The light was starting to blind me.

"Bella?" A familiar voice called out my name. It was a girls' voice and I smiled weakly that finally someone recognized me. "Oh my god, Bella! What happened to you?" She held my arm as I stumbled onto her.

I squinted to see who she was. Black hair, blue eyes...Alice? Nope. She's too tall. Tanned skin. Ah. Heidi.

"Heidi?" I had to make sure. But I started crying again. And this time she wrapped her arms around me and looked for a place to sit.

She pushed the stray hair out of my hair. "Bella? I think you need help. Is there anyone I could call for you?"

I said the only name that was popping into my head right now. The one I wished I bumped into instead of Heidi. But Heidi was great enough.

"O-kay." She looked at me suspiciously before she dialed his phone number. She looked at me while she waited for him to pick up the phone. Then finally, "Hey, Edward. Yeah. I need your help. I'm fine. It's...Bella. She's in a bit of a shock right now. Yeah. Could you pick her up? We're at the boutique near the park. And Edward? Please, hurry."

I was still crying and Heidi pulled me closer to her, hugging me tightly while she rubbed my arm. I winced a little at the pain she was causing and she looked at me. She looked at my arm and gasped. "I'm so sorry, Bella. You have bruises everywhere."

I swallowed and nodded my head.

"What happened? Okay. I think you don't want to talk about it. It's okay. I won't force you." She pulled me back into her hug again.

I saw a tall figure by the door of the boutique that Heidi came out of. He turned around and saw us. I sank deeper into Heidi's arms. I was afraid. Afraid of any guy at the moment. Except him, of course.

"Bella?" He looked at me with shock? Concern? "What...what happened?"

"I don't know. I just saw her leaning on that wall and she told me to call you." I let Heidi raise me up a little. "She's got bruises everywhere, Ed."

I tried to stand up straight and I almost stumbled again. Edward caught me and I cringed in pain. He decided to carry me bridal style. They walked to the car and I cried. He put me in the front seat and I curled like a fetus.

"Heidi? Do you need a ride?" Edward asked.

"No. My boyfriend's here. He's waiting for me at Starbucks." She smiled.

"Okay. Thanks, Heidi and be careful." He waved at Heidi before getting in the car.

"Edward?" I called out his name softly while he drove.

"What happened, Bella?" He glanced at me. I tried to remember but when I do, all that would come out of me were sobs and tears. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry." He took my hand and rubbed circles on top.

"Please. Don't take me to Jasper's." I couldn't go home now. I couldn't let Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and especially Emmett see me like this. I couldn't watch them freak out at me all at the same time.

He looked at me again. "Okay." He continued driving...fast and then he pulled up in a garage of a white house. He unbuckled my seat slowly and he carried me again. I buried my head in his chest and clutched his shirt. I'm still afraid. I mean what if Riley's been following us? What if he's planning to attack again? What if this time he attacks Edward then me? I can't. I just couldn't let him do that.

"Bella? I'm going to have to put you down. We need to get in." I let him slowly put me back on my feet. And pressed some numbers on a small machine that was plastered on the wall beside the door. Then he pressed his thumb on it. The door unlocked and held me as he walked me in. The place was black. Like, literally all walls were black. There were tall windows but they were covered with black blinds, too. And the ceiling was high. In the middle of the room was a bed. A squarish one. I couldn't quite decide if it was a bed or a sofa. But it looks too big to be a sofa. The doors were white. Actually, this is not so bad. I like black. There was a kitchen and a small dining table on the other side of the room. And then, opposite his bed were the TV and his consoles.

"So...this is my place. I can't really call it a house." He sat me down on the bed/sofa. Then he turned on all the lights and his eyes grew wide as he looked back at me. "Oh my god, Bella!" He rushed to me and my eyes widened at the surprised he showed. "With whom did you get in a fight with?" He took my arm and inspected it. I winced as the tips of his fingers grazed on a bruise.

"Does it hurt?" He looked at me with his brows knit together.

And then I did what I've been wanting to do. I smoothed the creases out and then I nodded.

He took a long breath out and stood up, looking around his place. "Well, first, you need to get cleaned up. Your dress doesn't look nice. It's dirty and it's ripped halfway through. Your hair is a mess, too. I can lend you some clothes but...I don't have a pair of underwear for you...Then, I can check your bruises. And then, please, tell me what happened." He ran to his closet and looked through his clothes. "I'm sorry, Bella. I really don't have women's underwear in this closet."

I shook my head. I tried to stand up to look for his bathroom. But then my knees faltered again and I had to hold on to the bed for support. He ran quickly to my side and helped me up.

"Bathroom." I said and he started guiding me to one of the white doors and turning on the lights. The bathroom was tiled in black and white. "I need your help. It hurts when I move and I can't stand properly."

He took a deep breath before he unzipped my dress. His hands were shaking. "Edward. It's okay. Just help me." I told him. He slowly slid the dress down to the floor and his gaze whipped to my body and his eyes grew wide.

I looked down to myself and saw all the bruises. Like handprints. On my hips, waist, thighs, calfs, arms, ass and then there was one on my breast but right now it's being covered by my bra. I blushed when he continued to look. He placed my hands on the counter while he fixed my bath. "Honestly, you need to bathe in ice, Bella. I'm not kidding. I'll try to buy ice." He turned around and I called out his name again.

"Please, don't leave me. Please. I..." I shook my head. What if Riley decides to attack while Edward is gone? I'll be dead even before I know it.

"The store is just right across the street. And this place in on security. It will go on alarm if someone tries to get in. I'll be back in a second, okay?" He hesitated but he kissed my forehead before disappearing. I stood there and I looked at my bruises while he was gone. As I examined my bruises, the pieces fell into place and I could imagine how he touched me...hard. Too hard. I started to cry again.

Edward was back in a jiffy, carrying two bags of ice. He unloaded them in the tub and he turned back around towards the door.

"Um. Help?" I tried to stand again. He took a deep breath before he turned to me again. Was he nervous in seeing me almost completely naked? Please! He's the only person in this world who've seen me completely naked. I'm pretty sure he remembers that. He led me to the tub. "I can't reach my back."

"You need me to take them off?" He asked in a small voice. I nodded at him in response. "Are you not nervous? I mean...judging by the bruises...you were...raped?"

"You weren't the one who raped me, right? Please, Edward. And besides, you've already seen me completely naked." I shook my head.

He stripped me carefully and slowly. He held me as I submerged my legs in the tub. It's fucking cold! And painful! I had to hug Edward and cry. He tensed when I wrapped my arms around his neck. He rubbed my back and hummed until we're both relaxed and he helped me settle down in the tub. It hurt but I took deep breaths to endure it. Edward left me for a while before he returned with an icebag and a rubberband. He took my hair and tied it up in a messy bun while he pressed the icebag on my mouth. I guess I had bruises there, too.

"You've got bruises everywhere. Who did it?" His tone was firmer and angrier on the question.

I swallowed and I opened my mouth to speak but he spoke first. He said, "It was Riley, wasn't it? I knew you shouldn't have gone to that date. Maybe, I should've stopped you this morning. I knew something was wrong." His voice was seeping with anger. I could feel his grip on the icebag get tighter.

I held his hand as the cold ice pricked my bruises. "Fuck! It hurts!" Sorry. I couldn't help it anymore. I had to.

"I'm sorry." He rubbed the top of my hand with his thumb. He stood up and took the shower head. He released my hair and he washed it. I had my eyes closed the whole time. He dried it with a towel and he told me he's going to prepare some clothes for me to wear while I showered and get cleaned up. He helped me and I leaned on the wall while I do my showering. It was difficult. I didn't know how to bathe myself, half-submerged in ice.

He knocked just in time and wrapped a towel around me. He let me sit back on his bed. He left his folded clean clothes beside me and he headed for the shower. I dabbed myself dry and tried my best to put on the clothes. His large shirt (Well, on me it was.) and a pair of pajamas reminded me of my clothes that Alice had kept away. The comfortable, familiar feeling had me smile for a while. I put the towel on the floor and I sat in the middle of his bed. As soon as he came out of the bathroom, he cleaned up my mess. I felt bad for having him to do so but I couldn't move properly. He threw my dress and my underwear away and he picked up the towel that I used and put it his dirty clothes' basket. He gave me a bowl of soup, a pill and glass of water.

I quickly finished all the soup. And then I looked at the pill questioningly.

"It's a painkiller. It will knock you to sleep, too." He put the empty glass away after I drank the medicine and he lied in bed next to me. He fixed a pillow and he helped me lie down on my back.

I don't know why but I just had to cry again. I just had, too. Probably from all the pain. Because this is the first time, I felt weak and vulnerable.

He hesitantly put his arm around my waist lightly. Hushing and singing me to sleep.

"Thank you, Edward." I told him and he kissed my forehead.

"Anything, anytime." He smiled at me.

I could feel my eyelids grow heavy and sooner or later, I fell asleep to his humming.

And tell me what you think. :)