How To Become A Girl

Chapter Twenty One

I woke up without Edward next to me and the smell of bacon in the air. I went over what happened last night. He said he had wanted to kiss me. What did that mean? I think he also said 'Good to know' when I told him I was way past Jake. What did that mean? And I think we might've had a subtle declaration last night but I won't overthink it. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before heading down.

"Goodmorning." Charlie greeted with a smile on his face.

"Morning. How was your day with the couple?" I asked him as I sat on my usual seat leaning myself on the table.

"Fun. We had a, uh...what do you call that? When two couples go out...?" He asked me as he split the bacon into two sets.

"Double date." I yawned and he slid a plate towards me.

"Yeah. A double date. They're a good pair. They were talking about getting a place here so I suggested some lots that were for sale. There was one right smack in the middle of the forest and Esme wanted to talk to the owner right away. Sue and Esme got on very quickly. Carlisle is a good man. If ever they move here, Forks would be so lucky." He put a whole bacon in his mouth. "So, did you also have a double date yesterday or a triple date?"

A triple date? I just had to laugh. My dad is crazy adorable. "A double date with Jazz and Em as a couple. You know they make a good one." I said smirkingly.

He laughed and when it finally died down, he seriously asked me, "Bella? I'd understand why you wouldn't tell me but...is Edward your boyfriend? I mean, I saw him sneak out of the house at night for the past two days. And you're always together."

I swallowed, "Umm...I'm not sure. He's not my boyfriend. Yet...I don't know, dad. We're still figuring it out."

"Well, whatever your choice is...just be careful. And of course, I'll support. Edward seems like he's a good guy." He nodded.

"Yeah...yeah, he is." I agreed.

Since Charlie and I took yesterday to go fishing in the morning, we were having free days today. And because tomorrow's Thanksgiving dinner over at Jasper's place was inviting the Cullens, my dad had to help out with all the preparations. Every year, we'd have Thanksgiving, there would only be three families, The Swans, the McCartys and The Hardys (Jasper's mom's side of the family) but this year, we're inviting the Cullens and the Clearwaters. I lounged around the house, just getting the feel of my old life back and realizing that I missed it. So badly.

Edward joined me during the middle of the day and I showed him more pictures of my past, finally telling him my story. My mom. My highschool life. The feel of having a single parent through my whole life. Being scared even though I show that I am not. And how I loved watching the stars because they're the most peaceful sight in this universe. And then I had an idea. I quickly put back all the albums in the shelf and I pulled Edward out into the back and walked past the cabin. It was just around twilight. It's the perfect time. We walked into the forest and I stopped at the small spot where the ray of the sun shone on the ground, showing the most beautiful wild flowers I've ever seen. It was a space that, by some magical force, the trees avoided, creating a little spot where if you look up, you'll see the whole sky.

"I come here every time I feel like thinking...which is most of the time, actually." I chuckled.

"Wow." He gasped. "This is so beautiful."

I smiled, "I found this when I was 10. The first time, my father talked about my mother to me. Just telling me everything about her. It made me realize how much I lost."

"It's so peaceful." He looked around.

I took a spot on the ground and lied down. "One time, I fell asleep here and I can tell you that I've never slept better. This is like heaven to me."

I invited him to lie beside me and he did. He admired the flowers. And the way he closed his eyes as he inhaled the refreshing aroma was just very adorable. The way he smiled as he lied on his back was just stunning. The dark replaced the light and the stars twinkled like diamonds in the sky. I shook him and I pointed up the sky. We were now both lying on our backs just admiring everything. Even after all this years, this place still amazes me.

"The stars...are just...they're too beatiful for words. The sky is a form of art. Creating pictures through stars." I whispered and I watched him smile and simply gaze up.

He was too beautiful for words. Clearly, he's a form of art. The way his features created one hell of a good looking guy was just unbelievable. Edward turned to look at me and our eyes met. His eyes told so much. You'll see so much of Edward in them. They revealed everything. They were amazing and amusing. I never expected so much from a pair of green eyes. But these eyes are not just eyes. They're Edward's eyes. And I saw in them what he was hiding from me. His eyes twinkled with the stars and I knew then...I hoped then that he felt the same because, god...I'm falling in love with Edward Cullen.

I blinked making sure that I haven't fallen asleep yet and he gave me a smile. "This is amazing. I could stay here forever."

"Me too." I smiled back.

"We could stay here forever." He twined our fingers together and kissed the back of my hand.

My dad drove us in my truck to the the Hardys while Jazz came over to take the Cullens. My dad turned on the old radio and we both sang along to a couple of songs by the Beatles'. I missed times like this. I miss my dad. And I still can't believe how everything has changed. Alice called me this afternoon just to make sure, I wore a dress to the Thanksgiving dinner. It ended just above my knees and it was red. Like blood red. It surprised my dad. It surprised me. I didn't even know how it got into my backpack. Although, I have a gut feeling that Alice did put it there.

I worried about the dress being strapless and my father, being the protective guy, handed me my mother's old beige trenchcoat. I loved it, so I decided to keep it.

We arrived later than everybody else, and I was greeted by Gramma Lena. I never really saw my grandparents. So, I was glad that Gramma Lena was willing to fill that spot for me. It was just right as Jasper's technically family.

"Bella, darling. How are you?" She smiled, showing her perfect fake teeth.

"Gramma! I'm good. How are you?" I gave her a hug.

"I'm missing Jasper. I always am." Her face turned sad for a moment before returning back to the smile.

"How's Grampi doing?" I asked her.

"He keeps your father company at times. Fine, I guess." She turned to me.

"That's good." I wrapped an arm around her as I lead her back into the house.

Aunt Sophie and Uncle Jack, Emmett's parents, greeted me next. I took off my coat and hung it on the coat rack.

"Bella! Is this what New Hampshire has done to you? I've never seen you in a dress before." Aunt Sophie looked at me from head to toe.

"Well, she's growing into a lovely lady, isn't she?" Uncle Jack gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Thank you." I blushed.

"We better head to the dining. Our visitors are waiting." Aunt Sophie grabbed my hand and I almost tripped in these shoes. Yes, I've learned to pair a dress with heels. They were red, too! Oh, what joy!

Carlisle and Esme were already seated down next to my dad and Sue. Aunt Sophie and Uncle Jack took their seats with Gramma Lena. The kitchen door swung and laughter filled the room. Emmett, Jasper and Grampi waved, smiled and nodded at me before taking their seats. My eyes travelled to Edward who was talking to Leah. Seth was quietly waiting in his seat, clearly showing a shy persona.

I felt my insides twist. I didn't know why, though. But somehow, the sight of Edward and Leah made me want to throw up. He hadn't even noticed me!

I took my seat between Em and Jazz, just right in front of Seth. "Hey." I greeted the boy.

His eyes flickered to mine before staring back at his empty plate. He is shy. But I thought, I heard him mutter a greeting, too. I tried to keep up a smile while the food was passed around and while I waited for Edward to notice me. I knew it was pretty immature to want that...but I never felt that way and I can't control shit.

"So...I heard..." Leah trailed, "is it true?" Her eyes bore into mine with anger? Jealousy?

"What's true?" I asked her and Edward finally turned to me. He was staring and I had to stifle back a laugh.

"That Edward's your boyfriend." She answered back. The whole dining table hushed down to look at us. My dad looked confused. "I bet it isn't, is it?"

"Umm..." My voice shook and my face turned red. I looked down and fiddled with my fork, trying to look for an answer. What exactly were we?

I looked up to gauge each and every face around the table. Some were intrigued but most showed happiness just like my father's face. I looked at Edward. He was still staring at me but this time, his face looked like it had a big question mark stuck on it. Shouldn't he know, too?

"Maybe." My voice was small and I wished I had answered yes.

Edward gave me a small smile before going back to eating. But Leah, being the bitch that she is, she drilled into the topic more.

"How is it 'maybe'?" She asked.

"Well..." I was lost again. How was it 'maybe' again?

"We're still trying to figure things out." Edward answered, a little annoyed. What's wrong? I thought, he liked Leah's company! Yeah. In exchange for mine. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to talk to Bella for a while." He stood up from his chair. I followed suit.

Dad freely gave us the time, even saying, "Sure thing, son." He just called Edward, 'son'! Okay. Maybe I'm freaking out a little...

I headed out to the back, making sure we're out of sight to them. Edward followed closely behind. There were a few awkward seconds between us, wherein I was looking down on the ground and I felt like his eyes were latching themselves on me. He finally made the first move by pulling me into a hug.

"Bella?" He tilted my head up, making me look at him straight in the eyes, while keeping me in his arms.

"Yeah?" I whispered.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Honestly, I didn't know how to answer that question, right now. So, I simply closed my eyes.

"Bella. Look at me. Please?" Now, who could resist that? Ugh! I hated it when he used that fucking sexy voice at me. No. Not really. Depending on the situation, I guess? "You do know, you look beautiful? Especially under the moonlight." He whispered.

"Oh, come on, Edward. Really?" I laughed. "Why are you so mushy?"

"Glad, I amuse you." He smiled my favorite smile and I couldn't help but feel better. Way better.

"Fine. You do, okay? There. You happy now?" I giggled. I know, I giggled.

"Very much." He kissed my hair before letting me go. "So...am I your boyfriend?"

"Hmmm...Maybe. Look, I don't think, this is the best place to discuss this." I looked back down.

"I know. I was just kidding. 'Maybe' will be alright. For now." He smirked.

I tried shoving his shoulder but he caught my hand. From then on, he never let it go unless we needed to part ways. I think it was sweet. I knew all these people, my family, were watching our every move. Especially Leah, who obviously wanted to get some from Edward. But he's more than just a one night stand and I hated it that she looked at him that way. Honestly, I don't know how Sue turned out to be her mother. They were two completely different people. Sue was...like Esme in many ways. She was very maternal, sweet, soft spoken and caring. I was glad my father had her and Seth, too. Seth was really really shy but Edward was able to make him talk and even laugh that night. So, all's well on Thanksgiving night.

The next day, Rosalie finally arrived in town. She also wanted to live here. She said it was so secluded, she loved it. Her words, not mine. We caught up with her in the airport with a jumpy Emmett and a sad looking Jasper and I could see why. Emmett had Rosalie, now. And I had...Edward. But Jazz was alone. I bet Alice was, too. He tried not to dwell on that fact much and so I suggested that all three of them go have fun somewhere else while me and Rosalie could go to some spa or something.

"Bella!" Rosalie hugged me tight once we were alone. We've taken her to meet our parents and to drop her load in Emmett's house. The McCartys just about loved every bit of her.

"Rose." I smiled.

"I like it here so much! It's so different from California!" She said enthusiastically.

"Isn't it?" I laughed.

"Yeah. And I love Em's parents. They're so...interested in me in a different way. They didn't even think I was an actress." She was beaming, glowing and I swear, if Rosalie Hale could look any better...

"I'm pretty sure they loved you, too." I smiled back at her but nothing could match her happy aura right now. It was so...Alice of her.

"So...where to?" We climbed into my truck.

"The only place here that has, like, a mall is Port Angeles." I shrugged starting the vehicle.

"Then Port Angeles, it is." She giggled. "By the way, nice truck."

I stuck my tongue out at her then laughed. It's so nice to see a different side of Rosalie. And that she's getting her happily ever after. Maybe...Somehow...Someday...I'll get mine, too.