I know I have been updating this one often and sort of ignoring the others but the muse is running amuck with this baby thing so I am just going with it.

This chapter is very emotionally driven and dicey at times but these things needed to be said. There will be happy times soon, very, very soon actually. Hold out a little longer and you will be rewarded, I promise.

"Pseudocyesis." Brennan announced proudly as she strolled down the hallway toward the living room. It had been a week since her bathroom fiasco and she thought she finally found the cause of her taunting nightmares.

"I know you said I won't know for sure until I take the test but I really think I have found something." She glanced down at her printout with glee. She was sure he would believe her with this one.

Yeah, her fiftieth idea of what this something was, a big, fat something that screamed pregnancy to Booth yet he still let her day after day come to him with reasons as to what she really had. Pregnancy, of course, was never one of those possibilities.

"I printed out some…." Brennan blinked rapidly as her eyes finally looked up from her paper to see her partner standing in her living room in nothing but track pants holding a bouquet of flowers and a large jar of pickles. His slouching demeanor was a clear indicator he had been standing in that exact position for a long time. "Booth, why are you standing in the dining room holding flowers?"

"They are for you." He smiled, waving them in front of her face. "I saw them on my way home from my run and I thought of you." He awkwardly grinned.

"And the feed a family for a week jar of pickles?"

"Those… are also for you. It's a variety pack!" Leave it to Booth to find the only variety pack of pickles in D.C., "I… I wasn't sure which kind you liked."

"Oh." She growled, eyes narrowing at the obnoxiously large jar, "And I won't need those." Her head flicked toward the jar.

"Bones…" His voice softened as he placed the flowers and jar of pickles on the table and stepped forward, "why don't you just take the pregnancy test and find out?"

"Booth, I already told you…"

"You're scared, aren't you?" Wrapping his arms around her he couldn't help but smile at the vulnerability she was instantly clothed in, "You're afraid that this baby… a baby" He instantly corrected in response to her shiver, "will change us…"

"No," She swallowed the lump in her throat, "I know it will. Maggie changed me more than I care to admit. Children change people, Booth. Children change who you are, what you think and who you… love." Her voice was a faint whisper but the growl that ruffled against her hair shown he had heard every word.

"You think a new baby would change how I feel about you?"

She nodded against his chest, unwilling to verbalize any of her deep rooted fears. She knew it was silly but as long as she didn't say anything this wasn't real and out there to be analyzed over and over again. She thought she was going to be sick.

"Hell yes, it would Bones." He excitedly nodded, "It would change everything."

"Oh." He voice was dark and tortured, a clear contrast to the enthusiasm he relished in. She really didn't want to let him see her cry but she couldn't help the silent tears that flowed. After all this time the truth was out there, a new set of cells… a new life would change them. The possibility of having another child with the one you were head over heels with was supposed to be a happy time but Brennan found this experience to be pure hell. One slip up, an accident would cause her to lose everything yet gain a small constant reminder of what exactly she had lost.

"Bones, why don't we…" As Booth began to talk a small stream of faint drops began to barrage his arm, "Wait… are you crying?"

Silence. An eerie silence that seemed to wrap around the couple, forcing them to both be slapped with a possible new reality that scared them to their cores. Pregnant women could be temperamental and emotional; Rebecca was so bad sometimes he wondered what alien had taken over her body. But Brennan was pragmatic, rational and collected not the ball of frazzled nerves and emotions he currently held in his arms.

"Babe… why didn't you say anything?"

Brennan's body instantly stiffed at the all too once familiar term of endearment. The second the word rolled off his lips he knew it would just perpetuate the storm brewing within but he couldn't help himself. He had been catching himself recently more and more slipping into the protective boyfriend role yet Brennan had done little to hinder his intentions and assert her independence.

"I… I…" Her stuttering swiftly brought him back to reality.

"We have seen some pretty gruesome things and dealt with some harsh issues in our time together. You can tell me anything. You're my best friend."

"But… I… I can't… you will leave me and I… oh God… the mood swings… the sleepless nights…. I think I am going to be sick." She rambled so quickly he wasn't even sure if it she was speaking English.

"Bones, one thing at a time. Your mind may run at a mile a minute but I am an old man who needs things explained slowly. Very slowly. So first, why are you crying?"

"No." She adamantly protested.

"That isn't a reason and you know it Bones. You have to tell me… please?"

Slinging her head low Brennan pushed her body so tightly against his he was really considering if it was possible to merge into one body. Normally this would be hot but Booth found his libido was replaced a long sense of unabated desire to comfort that had long since been under lock and key.

"I am not going anywhere." He soothed, "I just need to know what got you so worked up."

"Yes, you will." She spoke coldly but the hint of fear still seemed to find its way though.

"What makes you think I could ever leave you?"

"You!" She screamed, spitting all over his chiseled chest, "The way you just… one minute you are being supportive and the next you are having a mental break down and cannot get away from me quick enough."

"I told you it wasn't your fault. It was my fault, completely my fault. I was being a stupid, selfish idiot. Now please… please forgive me." He pleaded. "I'll do anything."

"But you left me alone… pregnant and all alone!" She whimpered.

"If I would have known I would have stayed." He begged for her to just understand, "I would have sucked up all my insecurities and been there for it all. All the verbal beatings, the late night cravings, even down to being your personal, doting slave. I would have done it all without question or being asked to. You gave me the most precious gift anyone could have given me. I love Rebecca dearly for my son but you… you gave me a daughter. A perfect little angel that was sent from heaven. She's perfect. I know I could never repay you for what you have given me but at least then I could have felt at least worthy of that little smile every morning."

"Booth, you are worthy. I knew the risks when we had sex and still pursued the pregnancy knowing full well it was statistically significant I would be a single parent."

"No!" His booming voice was dark and determined, "I don't care what you say. You never would have been a single parent. I would have found out. Somehow… I would have known."

"Booth, you would have not known she existed. You are a worthy parental figure but no one knew." Brennan pushed the topic further. She wasn't sure why she felt the need to push him so but after all those months alone she knew she was going to break him like a twig. The shadow looming overhead was proof of that but she didn't care. After all she had been though; he deserved to feel just as she had for so long.

"If I was worth it, I would have stayed and been a man." He rasped between sobs, "I would have known and I would have stayed. You would have been my wife and my daughter would have had that complete, perfect family from day one." He admitted in brutal honesty. "She is half my DNA and you are my best friend. Somehow I should have just… known."

"You and I have never done things conventionally, Booth." She wrapped her arms tightly around his weaken form, "We always do things in our own way. Maybe our dysfunctional family…"

"I'd marry you right now if you'd let me." Booth blurted out in raw honesty. "Marry you and grin like a fool, just to see you smile once more. Don't you see it Bones? I may have physically left but I never stopped loving you. I could never stop loving you. You are my other half, my better half. The fact that I was without you was practically killing me. Bones, you complete me."

Brennan's body froze but her eyes raked him so deeply it felt as though she was lighting him on fire with just a gaze. The wedding band around her neck began scorching her skin not out of anguish but out of desire to be where it belonged, around her finger just as he was wrapping tightly around her heart.

"I… I don't know what to say." Yes! Say Yes! Her heart pleaded but soon her rational kicked in, beating her heart to form words.

"That's okay." He smiled, unsure what he would do if she actually had said yes besides pass out in bliss, "We still have the rest of our lives. How about we just start with dating? You'll be my girlfriend and I will be your boyfriend… we will be together… officially. It would be our own form of dating. No pesky getting to know each other period or awkward family meetings. Just you, me and our daughter. Sort of a getting to know you period before the big plunge because I am going to marry you Bones. I am going to make this right and make you my wife."

"I'd like that." Brennan smiled while trying to contain the few stray tears. She wasn't quite sure she was ready to agree to marriage but dating she could do, it was practically what they had been doing for months. Laying the ground work for what she suspected to be a fast track to marriage. She had said yes once before and now she had even more of a reason to agree. Somewhere deep in the pits of her heart she knew when the question actually did come up she already knew her answer, an emphatic, life completing yes.

"Me too." Booth beamed, she was finally officially his and he couldn't help but feel relieved. Sure if it was up to him he would have married her before their daughter came to be but he was a big reason, well the only reason, they hadn't so he would just have to make do with what he was given. "So call up that hoard of men trying to get in your pants and tell them you are off the market… for good."

"Booth…" Brennan playfully teased.

"What? My woman, my rules."

Just one look that was all it took to for him to know exactly how close to the edge he had become. They both knew he was teasing but with Temperance Brennan there was a fine line between flirting and being reprimanded for weeks.

"You ready to take that test now?" He slowly asked, unwilling to give up until he got a determinate, scientific answer to the question that seemed to fill his every waking second.

Frantic eyes met his, setting his heart ablaze. She was petrified.

"Don't worry." Booth chuckled lightly at the absurdity of his idea, "I told you I would be there so I will be there. I'll even go into the bathroom with you and hold your hand if you would like. Then you know I won't be running."

Taking uneasy steps Brennan walked slowly toward the bathroom, knowing her dutiful boyfriend was following quickly in tow and somehow this time… it just felt right.