"But Max…" Booth's now hallow eyes fell upon the man standing before him as he pleaded for him to just understand, "it is not like I haven't tried. I spent five years pining for a woman who plastered her sexual conquest all around me. How is a man to act? I had my heart shattered into a thousand pieces every day just because she wouldn't accept her feelings. She… she just…"
"Is stubborn. She is a rational, stubborn woman that only you can decode. Why do you think she hasn't had a date in years? The second you left all dating ceased. She had men groveling to just get a chance to be in her presence, but that was never enough. Only you were enough and the second you left, her heart left too."
"This is a lot bigger than a few dates, Max." Booth's eyes flicked up but soon fell, "She's the mother of my children. She's given me something magical without even trying. How can I repay that? I have a beautiful daughter and a small part of my love growing inside her. She's given me a gift I cannot repay. She's made me whole again and I… I can't screw this up again. I love her and it has only ever been her. Max," He solemnly choked up, "I can't live without her."
"Then act on it." The older man briefly smiled as he nudged Booth onto the rain filled streets, "Stop being such a wimp and show her exactly how you feel. You can't knock her up, so how much damage could it cause? It isn't as though you don't know how she feels about you. My daughter adores you."
"Max, that woman in there is carrying my child… a small bundle of my soul. I can't fix what I have done… I cannot pretend I have not done irrevocable damage to the only person that matters. I left when I should have stayed. I… I fled how I felt." The broken mummers stemming from a once determined man was heartbreaking but Max just nodded as he watched years of pent up emotions flow from his lips, "I told her not to run, that I would always be here for her, but in the light of day I couldn't look at her the same. I couldn't go back to just being partners. I spent weeks waiting for her to come around… and… and… Max… she…" Booth's broken words ceased as the tears mixed with cool, crisp rain.
"You let her go." Max finished his thought. As much as it hurt him to see his daughter destroyed by the man before him, he knew deep down he was already destroyed, "Letting her run was much easier than making her stay and face what you had made. Letting her break your heart was one thing you couldn't handle so you made up some silly excuse about having to go on some stupid mission. After all these years, you were the one who ran."
"It is more than that. You just don't understand." Booth pleaded for his father-in-law to change the subject. "It is not like I didn't try. I tried to stay and save the partnership, but a man can only spend so many countless nights pining over a love that was never his. She had made it clear she had moved on, I was just trying to do the same the only way I knew how. Without her there weren't many reasons for living. She has saved my life more than she knows. I knew she deserved more and I know I couldn't give her what we had. I had to leave, go far away from the only woman I have ever loved to make her see… to show her… Max, I had to show her I loved her enough to walk away, that she deserved more than this beaten up shell of a soul. You don't understand what that does to a man. I was destroyed, feeble and weak. How could I ever expect her to take me back?"
"I know what I do understand. I know my baby girl spent two years of her life wondering where her father was just because you were too scared of a woman you could pick up and throw. Those women in there adore the damn ground you walk on and what did you do? You just let her run! Run away and…"
"Max…"
"No, you're going to listen to me boy." Max snarled, "This is going to hurt but you are going to listen to every damn word I say. You hurt that little girl in there… my little girl. And I am not letting your wimpy attitude do it again. You are going to love her, or you never were the man I thought you were; the man I gave my daughter to. You're going to be the father that girl deserves. You have to be."
Silence filled the small space between the two men. If Booth really thought about it he knew he could never deserved what he had been given. Waking up every morning next to the sun in his sky was much more than this murderer deserved. He killed men not because of a sense of virtue and honor, but because of twisted lie. He was not any better than the men's blood he had on his hands, and if he had the same fate maybe the world would be better off. Maybe she would be better off without him. Maybe, just maybe she would be happier if she never knew him at all.
"You're a former sniper for God sakes!" Max snapped as the fury ran through his veins. "A damn army sniper and your afraid of a child. You are the best at your field but when it comes to the love from an innocent child you can't take it. She's your God damn daughter, Booth, you're flesh and blood."
"It's not that…" Booth chanted as the tears started streaking down his face, "It's just not that…"
"Then what is it? What kept you away from the perfect display of innocence and love? What was so much more important than breaking my daughter's heart?"
"I've killed men, Max. Lots of men and all because of some stupid rhetoric the government fed me. Not because I was a hero or courageous but because deep down I am nothing more than a cowardly and a liar. And that girl in there deserves a hero not a damn failure. I just couldn't tell her I had failed her again."