A/N: Hey everyone! This chapter, I decided to do a 10/Donna story. Basically, Donna discovers Fanfiction, and, as they say, the rest is history. Everyone is supposed to be OOC so please don't just comment about that! This chapter is devoted to Sonja, who just got a fanfiction account, and is one of the nicest, sweetest girls you'll ever meet. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who in any way shape or form. Well, except for a tee-shirt that says Official Whovian.
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Chapter Three- Stilettos
"Oi!" said Donna unexpectedly. Well, it wasn't that unexpected, as that's pretty much all she says. "Oi! My foot hurts!" "Oi! Where'd you put my purse?" "Oi! Stop shooting at us for killing your queen!"
"What did I do this time?" asked the Doctor.
"Not you, dumbo! I'm talking to the computer!"
The Doctor realized that this was, in fact, completely normal behavior and that he'd been an imbecile for not realizing it earlier.
"So what did the computer do?" he inquired, flinching as she smacked his arm.
"Shut up and look you moron!" she screamed. The Doctor looked, attempting to ignore her various blows for his inadequacy in … well, everything. He didn't like what he saw. Donna had discovered … (dun dun dun) FANFICTION! And even worse, she had somehow, despite her inability to do anything semi-technological whatsoever even though she had worked for months as a temp, managed to reach the Doctor/Donna romance section!
"Oi! Who wrote this shit?" Donna attempted to stab the Doctor with her high heels to demonstrate her utter un-romantic feelings towards the time lord. "And why haven't you done something about it yet you useless worm?"
"I'm sorry Donna!" He cried. "If you stop trying to kill me, I'll take care of it!" She graciously put her shoes back on and allowed him to sit.
"Now smartass, I want this entire website taken down, every author who wrote anything remotely romantic about us personally punished, and a pair of stilettos, cuz' these shoes didn't stab you very effectively."
She then took out her whip and yelled at him to start working. The Doctor quickly disabled the unfortunate website. On an after though, he remembered to take down Deviant Art down as well before Donna discovered that whole can of worms.
'I can hear her shrieking now,' he thought. 'Oi! What the bloody hell is this? My bum is not that big!' (A/N: I've never been on Deviant Art before and I really have no idea if this kind of stuff exists/is allowed on there. I normally would have done some research, but I wasn't really that anxious to find out…) 'At least she's not constantly throwing herself at me like the others. It's nice just to have a mate for once.' And then she lashed out with her whip screaming that he wasn't working fast enough. Ah, true friendship.
When that was finished, the Doctor flew the TARDIS to the flat of the first author. He opened the door and stepped out to a forlorn scene. It was a barren wasteland of empty pizza boxes, beer cans, and dirty clothes. In the center of the mess was a desk with a computer. In front of the machine sat a disgustingly fat man in his boxers sobbing.
"My life's work, gone! Why have you forsaken me God? Wherever is my dearest FanFiction?"
"I can't hurt him Donna, he's helpless! Look at how said he is that we've shut down his favorite website." The Doctor implored.
"Fine," Donna relented. "I'll spare him if you'll call me Your Majesty."
The Doctor conceded, but was a little worried. There were so many stories left…
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139 visits later, the Doctor owed Her Supreme Godly Majestic Empress-Queen 18,000 pounds, 35 bottles of fine wine, 19 all expense paid vacations, six rock-concerts, and a foot massage, cuz' these new stilettos were killing her feet.
"Done, Your Supreme Godly Majestic Empress-Queen." The Doctor panted, carrying her into the TARDIS via piggyback, another promise that he had made (this one to spare an annoying teenage girl with a bad case of acne.)
"Good, slave. You may now set me down." Donna said regally, getting off of the back of the skinny space-man.
As she dismounted, her shoes slipped through the grille of the TARDIS floor. She grabbed the Doctor's shoulder as she fell, pulling him to the ground with her. His head hit the floor with a sharp crack, and the concussion that resulted combined with his previous injuries from Donna eventually killed him. Her Supreme Godly Majestic Empress-Queen then discovered that he only had 15 quid in his wallet. Damn Time Lords.
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A/N: I've noticed in various Doctor/Donna fics I've chanced along (I dislike the shipping btw, they're just friends!) that Donna is portrayed as quiet, shy, and just generally very un-Donna-ish, so I made up for those fics in this one. XD I got the idea for how the Doctor dies after watching The Unicorn and the Wasp. When Donna is getting out of the TARDIS after she changed for the party, she was wearing heels, and they barely were wide enough to not slip through. So then I thought: what if she's worn stilettos? This was so much fun to write... Hopefully you enjoyed it was much as me, and so you'll leave a review (hint hint) XD
Hugs and kisses,
Eleni C