Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer not me.

Author/Note 1: Sequel from Our Dawn 2

A/Note 2: I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sorry for my grammar and spelling. Thank you for reading.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed: teamtorettosupporter, FantasyLover74, Jada91, cinnamin, Cracker679, Blackwater Crazziii, Jacobleah, brankel1, Cherryx3Cat, Blackwater101, piper9004, BlacksWerewolfa, RobertForLife, o0FLAM3S0o, cyrusnjonas, Chica219, Sentinel10, wolfman inc, YoGurlB, Jeakat, CallyGreen, Teagann.

Alert: the characters in this story curse a lot.

Our Dawn

Part III

Book 2 – Confidence & Vulnerability

Jacob Black

15. Hangover

Fortunately the Cullens had rented a private jet to fly back home because I would never be able to board a commercial flight on my current condition. I looked like someone who had caught a contagious virus and was about to die.

I threw up all the way back to the States. Carlisle said it was the altitude that was messing with my body. I had been locked in a dark room for four weeks in an underground. He also told me that for a few weeks or maybe a month, I would feel too weak to walk or to go to work. It was possible that I would have a few memory problems due to the torture I had been subjected to.

When we arrived in La Push I was surprised to see they were taking me to their mansion instead of the Reservation.

"Why aren't you taking me home?" I asked.

"Have you lost your mind?" Emmett asked. "You look like you've left Hell. Leah and the kids would freak out if they saw you like this. Plus you stink…if you went to the Reservation smelling like that, Sam's pack would kill you right away."

I snorted. I didn't want to stay away from Leah and my kids for too long. I wanted to go home.

"Does she know I'm back?"

"Not yet, but we'll call her after you take a shower and Carlisle sees you properly." Jasper said.

I rolled my eyes. I was feeling better now. Thinking about being reunited with my family was comforting enough for me and although I could still feel dizzy and nauseous I was feeling strong enough to stand up and face whatever it was coming my way. I guess that being in La Push again was slowly healing me.

"Esme is cooking a special dinner for you." Carlisle announced while we were getting out of the car.

I didn't know if I was hungry. I still had a funny feeling in my stomach, but that could be the guilt.

We found Bella, Esme, Rosalie and Alice in the kitchen. All of them were cooking.

"If I knew I would find the Ice Queen cooking for me I would've gone to the Volturi's dungeons sooner." I mocked.

She glared at me but then she smiled. Bella and Alice came to hug me and then the pixie frowned.

"We were working on a plan to get you out of there." She declared.

"You sure took your time." I didn't mean to criticise them or anything but then again, I had accepted to hand my son over to the Volturi because I had lost hope in a possible rescue. I wished Alice would have been able to tell me they were going to try to save me.

"Are you alright Jake?" Bella asked.

"I've been better."

"I wish we could kill those bastards." She said. "I'm going to make Jane pay for this."

"She's was a pain…" I confessed. "Literally."

"We're so glad you're back." Esme stated. "Things were about to get really nasty…"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"We'll tell you later." Carlisle promised.

"You better go take a shower before we call Leah." Bella suggested.

Edward helped me to go upstairs. My legs were now shaking and I felt a slight headache.

"You need to tell Carlisle about the headache." He said.

"Sure, sure."

"I'm going to pick up some clothes for you."

"Thanks."

I walked into the tidy bathroom and splashed some cold water over my face. The Cullens were right. I looked like shit and I sure felt like shit too mostly because in a few years I would have to give my son to the Volturi.

"There's something you need to know Jacob." Edward said walking in and giving me cleaned clothes.

"What?"

"I read in Fred's mind that the Volturi were going to let you go regardless of your answer to their…proposal."

I arched my eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

"Caius didn't feel safe with you there."

"I was being tortured and I had no strength to attack any of them."

Edward shrugged.

"Caius never liked werewolves. He gave Aro an ultimatum that he would leave Volterra with Athenodora if he didn't send you back."

"So…I was going to be free either away?"

"Yes. Aro had already planned to come and take William as soon as it was time for us to join them. But since you agreed to hand Will over to them, he won't come here, things will go smoothly and you won't be able to turn back on your word or Aro will unleash his wrath upon everyone here in Forks."

Suddenly I felt the tears rolling down my face. I had made a fool of myself. I had given up my child for nothing.

"Why?" I asked clenching my fists.

"I think Jane refused to let you go without having her way. She wanted at least to break you and your will to protect your son. She wanted you to see that she was holding the power and make you see that it was useless to resist."

"Bitch." I muttered wiping my tears away. "She tortured me…She made me feel weak and desperate…I thought she was going to torture me forever…"

"I know how it feels like to be tortured by Jane. You feel like you're dying slowly and at some point you just wish that the end comes quickly. I'm not surprised you gave in…I'm surprised you resisted for so long."

"I feel like I've sold my own son…I feel like I let my family down."

"You didn't. Jane is the most powerful vampire on earth. Bella is the only one who can face her and yet, if they fought without using their powers, Jane would certainly win besides, Jane always had this…urge to prove herself to Aro. She worships him."

"How am I supposed to live with this?"

"I don't know…"

"Can you please keep it to yourself?"

"Are you sure? I mean you're not going to speak to Leah about it?"

"No. Not now…I can't."

"Look…I know that this is your business but lying to Leah is not the best option."

"I promised I would be back. I promised we would be able to have a nice life in the future. Do you think she'll want to be with me when she realises what I've done?"

"I think Leah might surprise you."

"Leah loves William and Harry too much and I…I believe I'm not good enough as a parent."

"You're only human Jacob."

"That doesn't matter. Leah will hate me."

"She loves you. She wanted to stay in Italy. She only came back because we told her William and Harry needed their mother alive. Don't lie to her, Jacob. You'll make things worse."

Edward left after telling me that and I had a quiet shower. I knew he was right about everything he had told me but I was unable to decide what to do.

I was on my second meal of chicken soup when Jasper and Alice left to pick up Leah. It didn't take me long to start feeling my stomach flipping. How was I going to look at her knowing what I had done? Should I follow Edward's advice?

"You'll be alright Jake." Bella said while Carlisle was observing me.

"I know." I said although I doubted it. The guilt would never leave me alone.

"You don't imagine how guilty we felt when we had to come home without you."

For some reason I had a pretty good feeling I could relate because right now I was feeling so guilty I just wished I could go back to Italy and continue to be tortured by Jane.

"Leah didn't want to leave and if it weren't for Jasper she would've gone to meet Aro herself. I had never thought she loved you so much."

I glance at Bella, throwing her an "I-told-you-so" look and she shrugged.

"I never thought she would be able to forget about Sam in the first place much less that she would be willing to die to get you back." She whispered.

I rolled my eyes and then I focused on what Carlisle was telling me.

"Your internal organs are almost completely healed by now."

"I don't understand…if the pain Jane inflicts us is just an illusion why did Jake's organs failed?" Bella asked. That was a good question.

"Our brain is fooled by that illusion and our body starts to act as if the pain is real. Our heart rate and our blood pressure increases and we feel sick." Carlisle explained.

"I threw up blood a few times and I still feel my head aching. It's like I'm on a hangover."

"You'll feel like that for a couple of days. You need to have a lot of rest."

"Sure, doctor."

"I mean it. No patrols, no work, no reckless behaviour, alright?"

I nodded and a second later I heard a car pulling over and through the window I saw Alice's yellow Porsche parking.

"You better go to the next room Jake." Bella said. "We're going to hunt tonight. All of us. I'll see you later."

It was nice of them to give me and Leah some privacy. I waited for Leah to come upstairs and meet me. I was nervous and excited at the same time. I had missed her beyond belief. Her smell, her touch, her voice. But I had betrayed her and our children and I was terribly ashamed for that.

I could sense the Cullens leaving to the forest and Leah's steps coming closer. When the door opened it was almost as if a light had suddenly illuminated the room. Leah was there, glowing and smiling and I felt like everything would be alright as long as this wasn't a dream.

"Jacob…" I felt her body pressed against mine and I let myself melt into her hug.

"Leah."

We shared a look in silence and then I realised she was actually crying.

"I thought I had lost you." she sobbed.

"I'm back. I'm sorry I made you worry about me."

She shut me up with a tender kiss and then we both lay still on the bed of the Cullen's guest room.

"How's William?" I asked playing with her hair.

"Fine. He still dreams about the Volturi sometimes."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you have nothing to apologise for. You thought you were doing the right thing."

"I'm really sorry."

"I love you Jacob. If you hadn't come back, I was going to lead the two packs against the Volturi to get you home."

I was suddenly appalled by that statement. Was she really going to risk so many lives for me?

"Thank you." I whispered.

For the first time in four weeks I felt calm enough to sleep because I was in the arms of the woman I loved, because I felt safe with her and my headache didn't bother me so much anymore. I pushed all the guilt out and buried my head in her hair to feel her scent.

Leah held me close to her the whole night. She made sure Jane was banned from my dreams, she allowed me to rest peacefully and forget about the pain I had endured. That was probably the first time I had showed her my vulnerability but I didn't care. Right now I needed her too much to think about my pride.

The twins were staying with Sue and while I was falling comfortably asleep I heard some of her words.

"It hurt so bad to be without you…There is nothing for me without you…I was dying slowly…Don't ever leave me Jacob."

xxxxxxxxxx

I went back home and for two days we didn't have any time to talk or be alone. Our families insisted on being with us for like an eternity. Sue, Charlie, my father, my sisters, their husbands and Seth, they all wanted to know what had happened and to be sure that I was alright. Harry and William were as happy to have me back as I was to see them safe and sound. As for the rest of our friends they also stopped by frequently just to check on us.

I was still following Carlisle's recommendations so I had to spend most of my time in bed. Leah had to work but she had managed to come home early in the last couple of days. Her boss was being quite generous. The story that was running all through the Reservation was that I had a car accident. Everyone believed.

Sue was helping us with the kids and my father had already summoned the Council to tell them the whole story. So far everyone thought that the Volturi had let me go. No one knew that in a few years when the Cullens had to go to Italy, they would have to take William with them because I had authorised that. That thought still made me want to throw up.

I had never felt an unworthy parent before and honestly I hated the feeling. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep that secret from Leah for too long but I didn't know how to tell her without making her hate me.

I remembered suddenly that when we first started living together I didn't know anything about raising a child. In the first couple of years after our marriage, Leah had been the one taking care of everything. I never changed a diaper and I rarely feed the kids. I never understood why Leah had to bitch about the house being a mess or even complain about me not putting the toilet seat down because in my opinion I only had to provide money for them and love them. I was selfish and I was even surprised how Leah had put up with me and never told me I was a worthless piece of crap of a father. That was exactly what I was feeling right now.

Once I had returned, Rebecca had picked up her wedding plans again and Embry had come by to remind me that I was going to be his best man. He did notice that I was different but he didn't make any questions about it. He probably thought that I was tired and mentally affected by Jane's torture.

"Leah told me you were going to rescue me…Is that true?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Well someone had to get your ass back here."

"She said both packs were going."

"Leah had a huge fight with Sam and he ended up accepting to help her."

I smiled thinking about Leah and Sam having an argument. It was no secret that I wasn't Sam's biggest fan, especially after knowing that he had been hanging around my wife and suggesting her that she should go back to his pack.

"I hope she kicked his ass." I muttered and Embry laughed.

"We had to hold her and Seth spent the rest of the afternoon trying to calm her down."

Apart from me, Seth was the only other man that Leah allowed to go near her when she was upset or angry with someone or something. Even though I hadn't been there to watch I could imagine the whole scene: the fight with Sam, everyone trying to hold Leah down and Seth talking to his sister.

"Embry?"

"What?"

"Can you take me somewhere?"

"You should be resting Jake…Leah will be angry."

"I won't tell her. We can come back before she comes home from work."

"Where do you want to go?"

"I need to speak to Sam."

"Come on…He wanted to help you but he wasn't sure about leaving La Push unprotected."

"That's not why I want to talk to him about."

"I don't know Jake, I don't want to be in troubles."

"Please Embry…I really need to speak to Sam."

Embry sighed deeply and then he agreed.

"Fine. But you have to promise me not to phase."

"I promise."

A/Note: I hope you weren't expecting a happy reunion for Jake and Leah, because with all the things going on, they still have a long way to go. The next chapter will be up very soon. Thanks for the feedback.

Karisan