Chapter Rating: M

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer not me.

Author/Note 1: Sequel from Our Dawn 2

A/Note 2: I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sorry for my grammar and spelling. Thank you for reading.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed: teamtorettosupporter, FantasyLover74, Jada91, cinnamin, Cracker679, Blackwater Crazziii, Jacobleah, brankel1, Cherryx3Cat, Blackwater101, piper9004, BlacksWerewolfa, RobertForLife, o0FLAM3S0o, cyrusnjonas, Chica219, Sentinel10, wolfman inc, YoGurlB, Jeakat, CallyGreen, Teagann.

Alert: the characters in this story curse a lot.

Our Dawn

Part III

Book 2 – Confidence & Vulnerability

Jacob Black

Chapter 16 – No Regrets

Embry drove quietly, probably thinking that this was a bad idea. Quite honestly I didn't want to go to Sam's house to kick his ass or even to kill him, all I wanted to do was to make sure he understood where he was standing now that I was finally back.

I couldn't keep lying to myself anymore either. Even though I knew Leah loved me, there was always a part of me that would be jealous of Sam. He had been her first in almost everything and I couldn't pretend I was happy with it.

Travelling back in time I remembered the first time I had realised I had feelings for Leah. Ironically it was on Bella's wedding day. That was supposed to be the saddest day of my life since I was going to see Bella getting married with my worst enemy and yet when Leah showed up in that dark red dress with her hair up, revealing her neck I felt tremors all over my body. I even got all worked up when Emmett said he would be able to dance with Leah. I didn't want anyone to touch her, not even a leech.

I blamed the hormones back then. Why else would I feel that way towards Leah? She was La Push's bitter harpy. She was Sam's ex-girlfriend and she was Seth's sister. I should've read the signs though, especially when we met later that night on the beach.

That was probably the first time I saw Leah showing her true feelings. She was in so much pain that I couldn't help to feel sorry for her. She had suffered enough, I mean we all knew that because we shared a mental bond with her, but I'd never really thought she felt that way. So when she removed her dress and said that she wanted to die that night I knew I had to do something.

I took her out of the water and tried to convince her that she was important to all of us. She thought only Seth and Sue loved her and that she was just useless to everyone. She told me her life didn't have a meaning and she was better off dead. Lying on top of her naked body I fought the urge to kiss her and tell her that I didn't share her opinion, but I didn't.

I told her she was still young, beautiful and that her heart would heal. I told her I felt exactly the same when I saw Bella and Edward exchanging their vows and even though I tried to tell myself that I was being nice just to comfort her, I was being serious. When the dim moonlight hit her perfect body I was hypnotised by her natural beauty. Although Bella had been always on my mind through the night, in that moment I only saw Leah. She was the most beautiful woman I'd seen.

Again I blamed the hormones. Leah was just a friend, someone I had met all of my life and I was feeling that way because she was naked and I was on top of her in a desert beach. We had been drinking but we weren't drunk. Leah cried and I comforted her. In the end I asked her to be my beta because I couldn't stand her saying that she was useless. I knew she had qualities and I really wanted to help her.

From that moment on I vowed to be by her side every time she needed a friend but because she was Leah Clearwater I would have to do it without her knowledge. Things evolved too rapidly after that night.

During the journey I made with Sam and Leah to choose my beta I realised I couldn't stand Sam like I used to. All of the sudden he had become a villain. When I caught him secretly thinking about Leah I almost flipped and when they had an argument and I watched Leah crying, it took all my self control to stop me from murdering him.

Again I should've read the signs but I misunderstood my feelings towards Leah for pity. I thought I was just feeling sorry for her because she was in the same situation I had been. I was an idiot. I should've known I was falling for her the moment I started to feel infuriated by listening to Sam and Embry's thoughts about her. Sam never stopped loving her. He was still convinced that he owned her and that Leah would never forget about him. Bastard.

As for Embry, he developed quite a crush for Leah back then and even though I knew it was difficult not to think about her and her sexy body when she was forced to phase and go back to human with the rest of us, I had to control myself from whooping his ass. But Embry wasn't the only one with fantasies. Brady had a crush on her too and so had Denis. The only one who never thought about nailing Leah was Seth, obviously. Even the imprinted wolves enjoyed to watch her naked sometimes, especially Quil and Paul. She even got the attention of a freaking vampire. That bastard annoyed the hell out of me.

I tried to deny my feelings for her because none of us was ready to love again but that was probably my biggest mistake. I should've told her that I loved her and that I wanted her, instead I gave her the impression that I was just using her to forget about Bella.

The way things ended up with us made everyone believe that we were together by convenience. People used to comment about our lives, especially our relationships with Bella and Sam. They all knew us. Our pasts had never been a secret to anyone because La Push was a small community. So rumours started about a one night stand, an unwanted pregnancy, a rushed marriage and a life filled up with sorrows and lies.

Most of our community still thought our marriage would crumble down soon and that was probably why Sam still had the nerves to go to my house and suggest my wife to go back to his pack with my children.

I knew I wasn't the perfect husband. I wasn't the best father either but I would keep my promises and six years ago I had promised Leah to love her and respect her until the day our souls left our bodies. I wanted to show Sam that my marriage wasn't just a façade, it was as solid as a rock and I wouldn't tolerate his actions anymore.

"Are you sure about this?" Embry asked when he parked my car outside Sam's house.

"Yep."

"Please don't do anything you would regret later."

"You have my word."

Embry and I walked over to the house and we ran into Emily. She was in a hurry.

"Hi!" She greeted happily. "It's so nice to see you up Jake." She hugged me and then she did the same to Embry.

"Is Sam inside?" I asked.

"Yes. I'm going to the store…but maybe I should stay and bake a few muffins?"

"No, I'm fine Emily. I just want to have a quick word with Sam and then we're leaving." I said.

"Ok…I'll see you later then. Give my love to Leah and the kids."

"Thanks."

As soon as Emily left, we walked inside. Sam was helping Ella building a castle for her dolls while Levi was watching TV on the couch, half asleep. Sam stood up as soon as he spotted us.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me.

"Much better now."

"I was going to run by your place tonight to visit you."

"I guess I saved you the trouble."

Sam frowned and Embry took Levi in his arms and called Ella to follow him outside.

"I'll go play with the kids outside while you…talk." He said. "Remember Jake…just talk."

I nodded and by the look in Sam's eyes I knew he was aware of what was going to happen. He told me to sit down but I refused.

"What's up?" He asked.

"I'm going straight to the point Sam…I don't want you anywhere near Leah, alright?"

"She told you." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. You had no right to make that suggestion. She's my beta, my alpha female and my wife."

"You were in Italy. You could've died there."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"I'm not saying that I would be happy if you had died. I just wanted Leah to know that…"

"You would be here for her."

"Yes…"

"Well, Leah doesn't need you anymore Sam. She's has a family to take care of her that's why I appointed Seth as our keeper. He will take care of Leah and my children if anything happens to me."

"You don't have to be jealous Jacob."

"I'm not jealous. I'm just surprised to see that even after six years you're still as stupid as you were before."

Sam clenched his fists and growled at me but I didn't flinch. I wasn't scared of him and I wasn't surely intimidated by his growls.

"I still care about her and I can't help to think that you're going to hurt her sooner or later. Look what happened this time."

"I never meant to be caught by the Volturi."

"She acted like a damn zombie since you were caught and you've been away only for four weeks…imagine what will be like if you imprint and never come back to her."

"I'm not going to imprint."

"Come on Jacob don't give me that crap about Leah being the one…the alpha female…"

"I love her."

"I loved her too and I imprinted on Emily." He raised his voice clearly upset.

"You have no more connections to Leah. She's mine now. She is my wife, she had my kids and I'm never going to give her up."

"You're just a stupid kid. You don't know what it's like to be in love with Leah. What you have with her is just an illusion. You were both broken…she was vulnerable and you took that chance."

"I didn't sleep with her just because I wanted to get laid."

"I don't care about your motives. I'm just saying that you never loved her like I did. You never had her…not entirely."

I didn't like his tone or his words and it took everything I had not to attack him right there in his own house.

"You think you're special just because you were her first boyfriend? Her first love? Well…you're not special Sam because in the end we all know who won this battle. It's my name she calls at night."

"You didn't win a thing, Jake. You just knocked her up and you had to take responsibilities for your actions. That's why you're together. You got used to one another because you don't have anyone else…that's not real love."

"It is. We chose to be together. There's no magic bond behind this. There are no regrets either."

Sam laughed slightly.

"What's so funny?"

"If you still see me as a threat, you're just confirming that things between you and Leah aren't as solid as you think."

"You're wrong. You're not a threat Sam. You're just an asshole and you need to learn your place. I might not be the best father or the best husband in the world but you're never going to take my place beside Leah. I'm the father of her children, I'm the one she wants and I'm the one who can make her happy."

Sam glared at me but he didn't reply so I left. I just hoped he had understood my message. I wasn't going to take his bullshit anymore. I had messed up with the Volturi by giving in to Jane's mind games. I was already having troubles to overcome the guilt so I really didn't want to feel inferior to Sam fucking Uley and I absolutely didn't need him ruining my marriage. Actually I was pretty sure I could do that myself. As soon as Leah knew about what I had done, she would never look at me the same way, she would never forgive me or even trust me. And because he was such an amazing guy, Sam would be there to comfort her and to take care of my kids.

I had to make sure he wouldn't take my family away from me or maybe I was just trying to take control over the one thing I could.

xxxxxxxxxx

My nightmares were easier to bear when Leah was with me. I hadn't told her anything about my talk with Sam two days ago and I wasn't planning on doing it. Actually I wasn't planning on talking for the last couple of hours because it was Saturday morning, Leah was home and the kids were staying with Sue for the weekend.

I was feeling much better physically and although Leah had been quiet all week, I was sure she was as impatient as I was to have some time alone. I inhaled Leah's scent as I pulled her body closer to mine.

"Are you awake?" I whispered in her ear.

"What do you think?"

I could see her smirking even though she was with her back turned to me. I ran my hand up her side and she turned around to face me.

"Someone is in a good mood…" She said smiling.

"You have no idea."

I kissed her with passion and she responded immediately. I wanted her so badly that it was physically hurting me. Not like the pain Jane used to put me through, it was another kind of pain. Grabbing her hips I pushed my body to meet hers and she moaned softly. I was pretty sure that she had already noticed how much I needed her right now.

Her hands travelled along my chest and stopped only on my hair. Leah had always loved to play with my short hair. I didn't let my enthusiasm get away even after hearing a car pulling over outside our house because I was way too excited getting rid of Leah's nightdress. The stupid piece of fabric seemed to be so tight around her hips that I was almost on the verge of tearing it in pieces.

"Jacob…I think someone is knocking on the door."

I knew there was someone at the door. I know it was Becca but I didn't give a damn.

"Let her knock. She'll get tired...eventually."

"What if it's important?"

"It's not important."

Right now nothing was more important to me than us in our bed inside our room filled with both of our scents mixed up together. I kissed her neck hungrily and she moved on top of me. The friction between our bodies was undeniably amazing and all I wanted now was to flip her over and take her.

The knocks on the door finally stopped and I proceeded getting rid of her clothes. I finally managed to take off her nightdress and the vision before me was absolutely breathtaking. Everyone had told me that Leah had been depressed and neglecting her meals during my absence but her body was still as perfect as I remembered. She wasn't even thinner on the contrary I could feel her beautiful curves and her breasts were definitely bigger.

When I was about to remove her bra to have a better look on her body Leah's stomach grumbled.

"I'm sorry…" She said with embarrassment. "I need to have some breakfast."

She got up, put her white robe and went downstairs.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked still panting. "You're actually trading me for food?"

"I'm starving Jacob." She yelled from the kitchen. "I'll be right back."

I pouted like a five year old and promised myself that as soon as she'd come up to the bedroom again I would make her pay for making me wait. Fortunately I had a pretty creative mind as far as sexual fantasies were concerned.

After having her breakfast Leah did return to the bedroom and we easily picked up where we had left. While we made love I realised my guilty conscience wouldn't stop bugging me. I wanted so bad to tell the truth but I was too scared to lose Leah and the kids. I had fought too hard to be with her and I wouldn't be able to live without my family. That much I knew.

We didn't leave the house for the day. We were supposed to go to my dad's place but we decided to stay home and watch a few films. What we really wanted was to spend time alone with each other. Next Monday Leah would have to go to work and the kids were going to school so I would be all by myself again.

That night the nightmares returned but now it wasn't about me being tortured by Jane in that dark room. This nightmare was ten times worse. It was about me handing William over to the Volturi. I could see the disappointment in his eyes when he realised I had agreed with that, his own father had let him down. His eyes were full of pain about leaving his family and there was nothing I could do. I could also hear Leah accusing me of not loving them enough.

I woke up sweating and breathing heavily but I managed not to wake Leah up. I felt completely desperate. I was a liar and a coward. The worse thing was that I couldn't talk about this to anyone. Edward knew the truth but he would just tell me to be honest with Leah and that wouldn't actually help me.

I lay in bed awake for several hours. I couldn't sleep because I didn't want to have more nightmares.

xxxxxxxxxx

When the morning sun illuminated the room I decided to get up and prepare breakfast. I had to make a few decisions and I needed to occupy my mind while debating what to do.

"Why are we going to the Cullens?" Leah asked after we got into the Rabbit after breakfast.

"I have to talk to them."

"About what?"

I didn't answer because I really didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I should take that chance to tell everyone about the truth or if I should just keep quiet and tell the Cullens what I intended to in the first place.

So when we walked into the Cullen's living room I felt a thin layer of tension rising up because ever since I was back from Italy we hadn't been in touch. For some of the Cullens that was a sign of ingratitude.

"I see you've been busy." Bella said with a hard expression.

"You mean you can smell…" Emmett joked.

I guess we should have showered after our recent activities. I could feel Edward's eyes piercing me and I faced the eight vampires who were all standing and waiting to hear what I had to tell them.

"Why did you call us?" Rosalie asked. "Are the kids alright?"

"They're fine. I just want you to know that I don't blame you for what happened to the kids or what happened to me." I stated.

Leah was looking curiously at me just like everyone else except for Edward. He knew why I was there.

"Well it wasn't really our fault." Rosalie said crossing her arms.

"I haven't thanked you yet for bringing William home, for helping Leah and Harry and for picking me up when the Volturi let me go."

"We were planning on going there to get you in a few days." Alice confessed.

"We weren't going to let you stay there." Bella added and her hard expression was now gone.

"I'm glad you didn't have to go." I was being honest although now I was starting to feel remorse for what I was about to ask them.

"Is it really remorse?" Edward asked me.

"I don't know."

"What's going on Jake?" Bella inquired.

"I came here to ask you to leave Forks."

They took a few seconds to react.

"What do you mean?" Esme asked. "We didn't break the treaty."

I refused to look into her eyes because Esme had always been generous and kind to us.

"This has nothing to do with the treaty." I said.

"Is this some kind of a joke?" Bella questioned. "Did you ask him to do this?"

Bella's second question was directed at Leah and the only thing that made Leah stay quiet in her place and don't launch herself at Bella was the fact that she was also surprised with my words.

"Leah didn't ask me to do anything." I explained.

"He's telling the truth." Edward confirmed.

"You're kicking us out of Forks?" Bella was still shocked.

"I'm not doing such a thing. I just think it's better for us to stay away from each others for a while. I mean you shouldn't be here after your wedding, remember? Yet it's been years and you're still in Forks…"

"We're allies, Jacob. We're friends."

"I know that Bella and we can still be friends even if you move out of Forks. You can come and see Charlie anytime you want and we'll keep in touch but…"

"You want us out of your children's lives." Rosalie stated.

"Look…I don't regret making you and the pixie their godmothers but they're six years old and soon they'll start noticing that you're different. After what happened they already realised you're not ordinary people."

"What about William's powers? You need Carlisle to help you with that." Esme said.

"Carlisle can still come here and run a few tests, right Leah?"

She just nodded. The lack of Leah's participation in this conversation was pretty scary. She was either too pissed off with me or completely shocked. I hoped for the last.

"I'm not saying that the treaty is over or that you can't come to Embry and Rebecca's wedding…"

"We understand." Carlisle cut me off. "We should've left a long time ago."

"How much time do we have?" Bella asked acidly. "Can I at least say goodbye to my father?"

"Bella…take it easy." Edward said softly.

"Easy? I'm being kicked out of my home by my best friend."

"He's just trying to protect his children." Emmett said defending me. "We can still visit you sometimes right?"

"Sure." I confirmed. "This is not a goodbye."

"We'll leave soon, I promise." Carlisle assured.

"I'm sorry…"

"No, you're not." Edward said convinced.

So maybe I wasn't sorry about asking them to leave. Maybe I was relieved to know that they would be gone and we would be able to move on and try to have a normal life but I was sorry about doing it this way. It would be easier if we were real enemies.

"There's something you need to know." Alice said before we could leave their house. "This isn't over…The Volturi, the deaths of several women in the past few weeks…there's something wrong about all of this and we're probably going to have to come back in the future."

"If that happens…we'll be prepared to help Alice." I said.

"Good because I have a feeling we're going to need all the help we can get."

I got a bit worried about her words but right now I was more preoccupied about having to break the news to the Council and Charlie. I knew for sure that Sam wouldn't mind about the Cullens moving out. My father, Old Quil and Sue wouldn't be angry or sad either but Charlie Swan was a whole different story.

xxxxxxxxxx

Leah's muffled moans were music to my ears. Her body was so hot I could almost taste the fire in her lips. If I knew she was going to act like this after the Cullens were gone I would've asked them to move out a long time ago.

I would never admit it out loud but I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to keep up with Leah's pace. Three nights in a row and I was starting to think that wolves somehow had a second mating season because she was unbelievingly insatiable. We had to keep the noise down because of the kids and I had started working a week ago but Leah was nowhere satisfied and I was starting to wonder if we shouldn't send the kids over to Sue's place for a month. It wouldn't be the first time.

I wasn't complaining, I mean I loved to hear her calling my name over and over again and I couldn't deny that this was probably the best night I had since I was back from the Pits of Hell. I had noticed a pattern in Leah's actions. A month ago, when she met me in Italy, she made sure I wasn't too rough and our movements were synchronized but now she was demanding, intense, erratic and fiery.

We were sweating and panting heavily when her sweet voice whispered in my ear words of pure love. I couldn't believe a moment could be as perfect as this one. Although my guilty conscience was still bothering me, I was enjoying our blissful love making session like I had never done before.

"Jacob…don't leave me." She panted and I actually felt her tears falling on my chest while she was straddling me.

"I'm…not…going…anywhere." I could hardly speak.

"I can't bear the idea of losing you."

"I came back like I promised…"

Leah kissed me passionately and she picked up the pace again, leaving me momentarily breathless. The way she moved on top of me was insanely hot and now I knew she was just desperate to erase all the bad memories about the Volturi. She wanted to be sure that I was there and that I wasn't going to leave her or the kids.

"I'll be here forever Leah. I'm yours forever."

I hit my head on the bed's headboard when I felt her body tensing up. I held her waist tightly to keep her in place until my body followed hers in that blissful connection. Then she rested her head on my chest and I kissed her hair gently.

"Jacob?"

"What?"

"Do you have any regrets?"

"About what? The Cullens going away?"

"No…About our lives."

I swallowed hard. Why was she asking that? Did she know already about the deal I had made with the Volturi?

"When I got pregnant and then when we got married I never thought things between us would last."

"I know…I was surprised too."

"A marriage should be all about honesty and trust."

She was right. I couldn't keep lying to her not after she had proved how much she loved me.

"I don't have any regrets about what happened between us." I told her. "You can confirm it if you listen to my heart carefully."

She remained in silence for a while and then she smiled.

"Your heart is still focused on the last twenty minutes we spent in this bed."

I had to laugh at that.

"Back then would you be with me if I wasn't pregnant?"

"Would you've given me a chance if you weren't?"

"I don't know...You were fucking eighteen years old."

"So? Were you afraid of what people would say? Would that really matter?"

"No, it wouldn't…The truth is I don't know what would've happened but I want you to be honest with me."

"I don't care. I'm glad things happened this way. If I could turn back in time I wouldn't change a thing in our relationship."

"Good. I wouldn't either."

"I will never have regrets about this. I mean we have two amazing kids who are incredibly handsome like their father, and we have a nice life…right?"

Leah lifted her head up and cupped my face.

"Yes. But we have to be honest with each other if we want this to work."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"About what I did in Italy."

Should I really tell her? Was I man enough to face my mistakes? Edward had told me that lying was never the way, especially around Leah.

"It wasn't your fault Jacob and to be honest with you…I also have something I need to tell you."

"Please…Leah, let me just get over with this."

She sat down beside me and put her nightdress on.

"What's eating you up?" She inquired.

"You're right about honesty and trust between a couple and I haven't told you why the Volturi let me go."

I sighed deeply and diverted my eyes away from her.

"What do you mean?"

"Jane tortured me every day in that black hole."

"I know, you still have nightmares."

"No…I don't have nightmares about Jane anymore."

"Then what's wrong?"

"The pain she inflicted on me was so hard to bear…It felt like someone was pulling my guts out…I felt my brain exploding and when I thought I would have to bear that until they forced William to joined them…I…"

"We were going to get you home." She cut me off. "I would never let you stay there, Jacob."

"I know you and the pack would try to help me but I didn't know if you would succeed. I had lost all hope and Jane…She's a conniving little bitch who saw my weakness and managed to manipulate me…"

"What are you saying Jacob?"

"I'm saying that I agreed…I made a deal with them…I…"

"You agreed on letting William go with the Cullens to Volterra." She concluded.

I couldn't even look at her. I couldn't stand to see the disappointment in her eyes. She had mentioned honesty and trust and I had been lying to her all along.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done it. I'm ashamed that I traded my son because I couldn't bear four weeks of pain…I'm really sorry Leah."

"So…William is…He's going to leave with the Cullens to Italy in a few years?"

I was sure the Volturi would make me keep my word. If William didn't go with the Cullens they would send Jane here and things would get ugly for us because without Bella's shield we had no defences against her.

"We can leave La Push and make sure no one finds us." I tried.

"What about the people we care about? The Volturi would come here and hurt them."

"It's our only chance."

"I can't believe this is happening."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't fix this Jacob." She raised her voice.

"I know that."

Leah got up and I saw the tears in her eyes. She wiped them quickly and then she looked at me.

"Are you aware of what you've done?" She asked me.

"Yes. I'm ashamed of myself. I should've never done it. What kind of a father does this to a son? I guess I'm not fit to be a parent…But I need you to forgive me Leah. Please."

She started crying again and my heart broke.

"You have no idea how much I want to forgive you. You have no idea how much I need you right now. But I can't…"

"Leah…" I begged and I tried to reach her in vain.

"I can't do this Jacob. I need some time to think."

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm going to check on the kids." She said before leaving the room.

I saw her leaving and then I realised she wouldn't come back to our bedroom for the rest of the night.

A/Note 3: Sorry about the delay. I started classes again...

Karisan