The Tragically Short and Incredibly Shallow Life of Marissa Susan Part II
A/N: From Eleni C productions, I'm happy to present The Tragically Short and Incredibly Shallow Life of Marissa Susan Part II!
Disclaimer: Woo! I'm on a roll! I remembered to put up a disclaimer 2 times in a row! Take that, Hinn! :)
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"You're n… n… na… NAILING THINGS TO THE TARDIS WALL?" (A/N: Haha, you thought she was going to be naked! Or at least that was my first thought as to the details of part 2… XD)
"Yup." I reply. The handy girl act gets them every time. Sure enough, he pushes me to the ground.
"Oh Alejandro." I breathe sexily. But he rushes past me and starts talking to the wall!
"I'm so sorry, love!" He cries. "Here, let me take those nails out. Don't worry, old girl, I'll have her back on her home planet in no time at all. I've never seen such a blatant disrespect of such a beautiful thing as you! Well, there was that one time in Paris with the Eiffel Tower and the over-ambitious advertising firm, but that's beside the point."
He keeps on talking to the wall about vandalism and kids in the 21st century, completely ignoring me! Most girls would've given up at this point, but not me. My sexy, cutie, and smarty acts have all failed, so it's time to get serious.
"Now look here, buddy-" I start, but he cuts me off.
"No, you look here-" he replies.
"No you look here!"
"No you look here!"
"No you look here!"
"SHUT UP!" he roars.
"Touchy" I mutter to myself.
"Now listen here." He pauses, but I don't say anything that last comment was out of line. "You've just driven metal spikes into the already-injured last TARDIS in the universe. My TARDIS. Now, I want you to go sit outside, a good 25 feet from her, and wait for me." I just stare off into the middle distance. I'm pulling my very last and very best card. The silent treatment. If this doesn't get him, nothing will!
"Come on, Mary Sue, out of the TARDIS." No response. "Marissa, I need you to leave." Nothing. "Mary, can you hear me?" Zilch. "Hello, anybody home?" Zero. "OK then, I guess I'll just throw your purse into the engine for fuel."
"Wait! That's a designer bag!" I cry. He sighs.
"Come on, let's go." And we walk outside. All of a sudden, the door slams shut behind us. Alejandro spins around and tries to re-open the doors.
"That must've been the wind. But there is no wind." The ship makes a humming noise. "What do you mean you've locked us out? … Well of course I know the meaning of locked out, but that doesn't make any sense … Hey! I didn't ask for her to come along! … Yes dear, I know she's a bit silly, but- … well I think 'complete numbskull' is a tad harsh ... No! Where on Galifray did you get that idea? How could I prefer her over you? … Well of course she fancies me, I'm gorgeous! … Fine! Be that way! I'll drop her off at the next stop … No 'next stop' if I don't get rid of her now? But we could be hundreds of miles away from the nearest city! …" He turns to look at the gigantic pink building marked MALL 100 meters or so to our left. "Well I didn't see it, OK?" He shouts at the blue box, which looks out of place in a world of pink. But I'm tired of standing around waiting for him to finish talking to himself, so I head to the mall.
"Wait! Mary Sue!" He calls, but I ignore him. I've had enough of his rejection, I'm going shopping. He catches up to me.
"Mary Sue, we don't have time to go shopping. Just tell me where you're from and I can take you home!"
"I'm from London, and I'm going shopping." I reply shortly, cuz' I'm still mad at him for telling me to shut up and trying to destroy my purse. He stops.
"Seriously? You're from earth? Wow, didn't see that one coming. Now if you'll just-" but he stops, cuz' we've just entered the mall, and … everyone is wearing pink! They all suddenly become quiet and start whispering to each other. Obviously they can tell I'm new in town. A few girls walk towards us.
"Oh. My. Gawd. I LUV ur shirt!" One exclaims sexily.
"OMG, what did you do with ur hair? It's, like, f***ing awesome!" another says happily.
"Umm… excuse me." Alejandro says "But could you tell us where we are?"
"Sure!" They reply "You're on the planet of the Mary Sues."
"HOMG Mary Sue is my nickname! Is that, like, freaky or what?" I say
"Same here!" They all respond, all looking completely shocked at this fact.
"What?" Alejandro looks confused. "The planet of the Mary Sues?"
"Yeah." One girl responds, popping her bubblegum. "Some dude from this company called Fan Fiction made this planet for all girls whose names are Mary Sue. He told us that we were accidently killing people's brain cells with our awesomeness, and that if we moved here, he'd pay all our credit card bills! We can spend as much as we like, and he never gets mad or anything!"
After that, Mary Sue #267 said that I fainted. When I woke up, Alejandro was gone, but he'd left a note. It said Mary Sue, you've found your true home, and I think you'll be happy here. Your new credit card is in your purse. Well, have a good life. –The Doctor. But unfortunately, the others told me, he's died shortly after he finished the letter saying something about to many dead brain cells, but they were going to try CPR now. I looked on as they repeatedly hit him on his perfect chest. A tear rolled down my cheek. I'd never gotten to say goodbye to my one true love. But suddenly, he sat up.
"Hello everyone!" He said happily. "My name is Gary Stu. What about you?"
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A/N: You have no idea how hard it was to write this. I had a million and two plot bunnies running around in my head, but I made myself write this. In fact, the bunnies were being so annoying, I actually wrote this during the day, which I don't often do. (I usually write under my covers with a flashlight when I'm supposed to be sleeping.) I know this wasn't the best thing I've ever written, but please review anyway!
Love and Monsters (that was a really weird episode…),
Eleni C