Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer not me.

Author/Note 1: Sequel from Our Dawn 2

A/Note 2: I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sorry for my grammar and spelling. Thank you for reading.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed: teamtorettosupporter, FantasyLover74, Jada91, cinnamin, Cracker679, Blackwater Crazziii, Jacobleah, brankel1, Cherryx3Cat, Blackwater101, piper9004, BlacksWerewolfa, RobertForLife, o0FLAM3S0o, cyrusnjonas, Chica219, Sentinel10, wolfman inc, YoGurlB, Jeakat, CallyGreen, Teagann, Anne Sullivan, Twilighter, As Clear as Black, Rafaela.

Alert: the characters in this story curse a lot.

Our Dawn

Part III

Book 2 – Confidence & Vulnerability

Jacob Black

17. Here Without You

Leah and I had our fair share of arguments and fights over the last few years. Sometimes we fought over stupid things like the toilet seat or who had to do the laundry but usually things would settle down one way or another. When we had big fights, like the one about Milena or the one about the old garage I had bought without her knowledge, things were more complicated. Usually Leah would phone Sue and complain about my reckless attitudes and my childish behaviour and she would later scream and yell at me. In end we would make up after having awesome sex and that meant I had surrendered to her.

This time was different. This fight hadn't even been a real fight. Yet when Leah got up in the next morning, she didn't talk to me. She took a quick shower and took the kids to school. She ignored me the whole day. Her indifference got me worried. Would she ever forgive for what I had done? Did I really deserve to be forgiven?

I couldn't focus at work and I didn't want to talk to Quil and Embry about my problems because they had their own lives to take care of. Embry was also in a complicated situation with his wedding coming up soon next month. Rebecca didn't want a simple ceremony. She wanted her second wedding to be totally different from her first one.

In Hawaii she had a ceremony on the beach that she thought it was perfect at the time, now she wanted something that could symbolise a new beginning, something that could overcome her first wedding's ceremony and that was the reason she had asked Alice's help and they were in constant contact with each other to plan everything. Embry didn't care about having his wedding organised by the pixie but Rebecca was constantly accusing him of not participating and he was starting to feel the pressure.

I was happy that I hadn't been in that situation when Leah and I got married and that we had a simple traditional ceremony. What was really ironic was that now my marriage was about to crumble down and it was my fault. The hardest part to handle was when I arrived home from work and found out that one week after our argument, Leah had already called for backups and I had been replaced. I mean I was feeling guilty and I was trying to make amends but it seemed that Leah didn't care about it.

We didn't speak much for the last week but I really didn't have to talk to her to know that Seth was in our house. I didn't want to sound like a jealous idiot or a child having a tantrum but that was exactly how I felt.

"Wasn't he supposed to be in Canada?" I asked Leah a second after I came home.

"He's on vacations."

"I didn't know that doctors have vacations. How long is he going to stay?"

"Until Becca and Embry's wedding. Is there a problem with my brother staying here?"

"No."

Of course there was a problem. With Seth there we would have even less privacy than before. I mean we had to be constantly aware of what to say in front of our children so we wouldn't upset them or give them the impression that things weren't well, but now with Seth in the house we wouldn't even have the chance to argue without him listening to us.

Suddenly I realised that Seth's arrival must have been Leah's idea all along. She wanted to avoid me and the best way to do it was to have a guest in the house. Seth served her purposes like a charm. Plus he was her brother.

"So that's how this is going to be?" I asked in a bad humour. I always thought we would talk about this problem like a civilised couple and figure it out but this way wouldn't work.

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on Leah…What have you told your brother?"

"Do you want to know if I told him that you agreed to give William to the Volturi in a few years?"

She had the right to be pissed off with me and disappointed but I really didn't need her to be constantly reminding me of what I had done.

"Did you tell him or not?"

"Not yet."

"This is between us…"

"Who else knows?" She asked suddenly. "I bet the Cullens know too…and if they know why can't Seth know as well?"

"They don't know…I mean except for Edward."

"If Edward knows then Bella knows too and if Bella knows the whole family knows."

"Edward wouldn't tell anyone."

"Right." She said rolling her eyes in disbelief.

"All I want is for you to give me a chance to explain properly."

"Right now what I need is time."

"Time for what? We need to figure this out…We can't keep going on like this."

I was sounding desperate but that was exactly how I felt. My time was running out. I wanted to explain myself or at least try. I wanted Leah to understand that I regretted my actions but I knew she would never forgive me.

"Please Jacob…I still have to get used to the idea that I'm going to lose one of my children."

Her words sounded horribly in my head but she was right. We were going to lose one of our kids soon and again, it was all my fault.

I agreed on giving her time so I just turned around and left without even saying where I was going. I thought about phasing but there was a chance that Sam was also phased and I didn't want him to know about my problems with Leah. That would only make him believe that he was right about us all along.

I walked for hours in the forest trying to find a way to solve this mess. I only saw one way though: to redeem myself I would have to go to Italy again and beg the Volturi to keep me as a pet and leave my son alone. They wouldn't agree with that but at least Leah would see me differently and maybe then she would forgive me.

It was already dark when I reached our house again and even outside I could hear Leah crying. Seth was trying to calm her down. She had probably told her brother everything and I really didn't want to face Seth right now so I waited for almost two hours until Leah decided to go to bed.

Then I climbed through the window and watched my wife lying in our bed sobbing. She tried to wipe the tears before I got inside the room but she wasn't fast enough.

"They were going to let me go anyways. Caius didn't feel safe with me staying there and Aro decided to let me go. His plan was to come here and take William along with the Cullens in a few years. Jane wanted to prove she could break me and she refused to let me go until I accepted their deal. She fooled me and I'm not proud of myself…I'm even more disappointed than you…Sometimes I think I would rather be there or even dead than having escaped. I didn't know about Aro's decision and I was weak. I don't have the right to ask your forgiveness and that's why I'm going to give you some space."

I took a deep breath and I started to pack some of my clothes inside a small bag.

"I love you and our kids more than you can imagine. If you find in your heart a way to forgive me or if you think that there's a small chance for us to be together again…I'll be at Quil's place…"

I waited a few seconds for an answer that never came. I would've stayed if she asked me to and it hurt when the silence became so heavy. She wanted me to leave. That was the same as telling me she didn't want me anymore.

When I realised she wasn't going to stop me from leaving, I jumped out of the window and while I was walking away from the house I heard her crying again. I really didn't want to sound like stupid Edward but my sacrifice would probably be the only way to redeem myself. I had to prove Leah I loved my kids as much as she did. I had to prove her I was ready to do anything for them, even risking my own life. This time I wouldn't fail. All I needed was a good plan.

xxxxxxxxxx

I wasn't expecting such a hard time living away from Leah and my kids. I mean this time I was doing it on my free will, in a desperate attempt to save my marriage and it was ten times worse than when you're forced to stay away from the people you love.

I missed taking the kids to school, I missed Leah's company and her cooking, I missed her warmth and I missed playing with the kids. For the next week I stayed with Quil because he was the only one whose house had a guest room. It was hard to see them from afar. While I was at work I was able to focus on other things than my problems, but at night the loneliness always won.

A few days after I left Leah, rumours started about us again. This time people thought I was having an affair with some younger girl from out of town. We hadn't told the truth to anyone, although Seth knew. I was still thinking about a way to go to Italy and face the Volturi on my own again and I had come down to the conclusion that I would have to ask the Cullens for help.

"How many have you had already?" Quil's voice reached me.

"A few."

Quil kicked one of the several beer's cans that were on the floor and shook his head in disapproval. I hadn't become an alcoholic. I just enjoyed having a few beers to help me to fall asleep at night.

"You know…"

"Spare me the lecture Quil." I cut him off. "I'm really not in the mood right now."

"I spoke to Seth today. He said Leah is pretty down too."

"She knows where to find me if she wants me to go home."

"Honestly dude if you're both miserable why can't you just make up?"

"Because things are complicated."

"You didn't imprint, did you?"

I glared at him hard and Quil recoiled a bit.

"No, I haven't imprinted."

"In that case, why won't you speak to her and solve everything?"

"Do you think I'm here just for fun? Just because I enjoy your fucking company? I just told you Quil…it's complicated."

"What can be more complicated than an imprint?"

"Shut up and leave me alone…"

"Come on Jake. You know you can tell me. You can count on me…I'm your pack brother. I want to help."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"I can't."

"Are you having an affair?"

I glared at him again.

"I guess not…" He muttered. "Look…Embry's wedding is in two weeks and it will be totally ruined if you and Leah don't make up. Plus your kids will be pretty sad if you two don't go together."

Quil was right. I didn't want to ruin Embry's special day and I didn't want my children to know Leah and I were not on good terms right now. This was a good opportunity for me to go home and try to convince her to have a quiet talk about the whole situation.

"Just put shit together and try to be happy for Embry and your sister."

xxxxxxxxxx

Next day I did follow Quil's advice. After work I went home and fortunately I could only smell Leah in the house. Seth had probably taken the kids out. It was awkward but I had to play nice this time, so I knocked on our door and waited. I didn't know if Leah would let me in or even open the door but I hoped she would. Five minutes later she indeed opened the door for me.

"What is it?" She asked emotionless.

"I need to talk to you."

"I'm not ready yet."

"When will you be ready then?"

She frowned and I just slapped myself mentally because I had promised myself I wouldn't argue with her anymore.

"Forget it." I said quickly, before she would start the yelling and screaming scene. "I want to talk about Embry and Becca's wedding."

"What about it?"

"It's next week and I was thinking that Harry and Will are going to ask questions if we don't go together."

She remained in silence for a while. Her expression softened a bit when she realised I was right and that the kids would be sad about it.

"So you want us to go together…as a family?"

"That's what we are, Leah."

"Not for long…thanks to you."

That was a low blow and it hurt especially because I had heard it from her mouth.

"I'm trying to…"

"Make things right?" She cut me off.

"No…I'm trying to spend most of my time with you and the kids because soon we won't be together."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Forget it…"

In that moment Seth and the kids arrived and Harry and Will came running into my arms.

"Dad!" They both yelled.

"Have you finished helping Quil?" Harry asked.

"Not yet." Leah explained quickly.

So that was what they had been told: that I was helping Quil. I guess it was better than the truth.

I hugged the boys briefly and said that I had to go because I knew Leah was uncomfortable with the situation.

"Be good to mum, ok?" William and Harry nodded and I left. I was going to follow down the road to go to Quil's place again when I felt Seth approaching me.

Seth had always been one of my best friends. When we were younger he worshiped me like a hero. Without realising Seth became, for a while, the only member of my pack. There was a bit of tension between us when Seth learned that I had gotten Leah pregnant but he quickly came around. The fact that I was his brother-in-law didn't change our friendship. I trusted Seth with my life. But when it came down to choose his side, I knew Seth would always choose Leah.

I was happy for that though. They were siblings and they had proved to have some sort of a special link enhanced by the whole "werewolf thing". I didn't mind about any of that but there was a part of me that would always see Seth as a rival.

Seth wasn't Sam though. Sam was Leah's ex-boyfriend. Seth was Leah's brother. Sam was no longer on her heart and I knew that better than anyone, but Seth…Seth would always have a place in his sister's heart. So not romantically speaking, Seth was way more dangerous than Sam ever was.

Leah would die for him just like he would die for her. So right now I didn't know how to face him.

"Phase." Seth said firmly.

"What?" I was confused.

"Phase now."

I could only think that he wanted us to fight in our wolves' form. If Leah had told him the truth I knew Seth would try to stand up for her and his nephew.

"I don't want to fight you Seth. I'm already feeling like shit…I really don't need you to lecture me about how to be a good father to my children."

"I'm not going to lecture you, Jake. I just need you to phase or I won't be able to help you out."

I really didn't know what the hell he was talking about but Seth was calm enough for me to trust him. We walked slowly, side by side, into the forest and then I phased. Seth did the same a few seconds later and we just stood there facing each other without moving an inch.

'The Volturi…Jane…being tortured and losing all hope…think about it Jake.'

'Why are you doing this Seth?'

'I need to feel everything that you felt back then.'

I let Seth travel through all of my memories. I tried my best to conceal the ones concerning the night I had spent with Leah in Italy, but he did pick up a few details. Usually I really didn't enjoy sharing my problems and thoughts with someone, especially when that involved showing my feelings. At least Seth was family and he wouldn't tell anyone about it.

'The pain almost felt real to me. You went through a lot…I believe I wouldn't be able to bear so much pain.'

'I was weak. I should've…'

'They were going to let you go either way Jake. Don't blame yourself.'

'I should've known.'

'Jane fooled you. There's no way she would tell you that Aro was letting you come home.'

'I gave in so easily that it makes me want to throw up.'

'I know but…you fought back Jake.'

'No, I didn't.'

'You fought to keep your word. You came home alive and my sister can still be happy. She still has a husband and my nephews still have a dad.'

'I wouldn't say she's happy. She hates me. She thinks I don't love the kids enough.'

'She's confused and she's completely terrified about losing her child. A few weeks ago she thought she had lost you. Don't give up on her Jake.'

'I don't blame her. I hate myself for what I did. I'll have to live with this guilt for the rest of my life and I don't want to be the man that handed over one of his children to the enemy.'

'I know…I can tell that you never meant this to happen and that you're sorry but doing what you're planning…it's not right.'

'That's the only thing I can do to have Leah's forgiveness.'

'You're going to sacrifice yourself for nothing. The Volturi won't fall for that. They'll kill you and they'll come here to get Will when the time comes.'

'I need to do something Seth.'

'Then let me help. Leah only knows one side of the story. Let me tell her what I've seen in your mind.'

'She doesn't care.'

'Yes, she does. She'll listen to me. I won't tell her about your suicidal plan though. I don't want her more agitated.'

'She's agitated?'

'You bet she is. She loves you and she's trying to understand what's happening. As her brother I'm going to make sure she does the right thing for the kids and for herself.'

'And what's that?'

'The right thing is to forgive you and take you back because you're the only one who can make Leah happy.'

He actually made sense. Plus Seth was good with words and Leah usually listened to him so maybe he would be lucky enough to convince her to at least take me back or maybe go to Embry's wedding with me.

'I'm going to try my best, Jake. I promise.'

'Thanks.'

When Seth left, I stayed on my wolf form and I kept running. I needed to feel the wind on my face and the grass under my paws. I recalled my childhood in La Push. Back then everything looked so peacefully and easy. All I wanted was to stay here with my family, be a popular kid, meet the girl of my dreams, marry her and have a couple of kids. In a way I had managed all that but things had become so damn complicated that it was becoming hard to breathe.

I had done everything I thought it was best for the people I loved: I took care of my father when my sisters left home, I protected Bella when she needed me, I was there for Seth and Leah when Harry died, I protected Rachel when Paul imprinted on her, I killed vampires to protect innocent people, I fought an army of newborns, I saved Leah's life, I fought against the Volturi, I protected a coven of leeches because my friend turned into one, I sent them away when I realised they were getting in the middle of my marriage.

So much had happened. Over a small amount of years I had understood what it's like to live up to our choices. I had chosen Leah for my wife, she was the mother of my children, she was the one I loved. I would die for her right now if she asked me to. I had been her friend, her alpha, her lover. I was now a father and I didn't regret a single thing about the last six years of my life. I loved my kids and I refused to see them as a mistake. I was completely terrified to know that Leah thought that I didn't love her and the kids because it wasn't true. I was afraid she would never trust me again.

The only thing I regretted was to let myself be fooled by Jane and now I would have to face the consequences of my actions. I just hoped Seth could help me but it was all up to Leah. I was screwed.

A/Note 3: Don't worry, Leah will forgive Jake. Book 2 is almost over. There's only one more chapter left. About the Cullens leaving...well they will come back to fight with the pack. I don't know if I will make the packs rejoin but that is a possibility. So far I'm trying to develop the new enemy that the Cullens and the pack will have to face. That's what I'm really worried about right now.

Blackwater101: Leah will have to tell Jake about being pregnant soon. The Volturi will take an interest in her near the end of Book 3. It is important for me and the story that Harry doesn't have a power, but who knows...In the future maybe?

Rafaela: As soon as I finish Book 3, I will repost O Nosso Amanhecer 1 e 2, and then I'll translate Our Dawn 3./ Assim que terminar esta história vou voltar a publicar O Nosso Amanhecer 1 e 2 de acordo com as versões em inglês porque as versões portuguesas estão muito fracas. Depois vou começar a traduzir esta história para português. :D

Karisan