Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer not me.

Author/Note 1: Sequel from Our Dawn 2

A/Note 2: I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sorry for my grammar and spelling. Thank you for reading.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed: teamtorettosupporter, FantasyLover74, Jada91, cinnamin, Cracker679, Blackwater Crazziii, Jacobleah, brankel1, Cherryx3Cat, Blackwater101, piper9004, BlacksWerewolfa, RobertForLife, o0FLAM3S0o, cyrusnjonas, Chica219, Sentinel10, wolfman inc, YoGurlB, Jeakat, CallyGreen, Teagann, Anne Sullivan, Twilighter, As Clear as Black, Rafaela, ILove2Write13, Mistress97.

Alert: the characters in this story curse a lot.

Our Dawn

Part III

Book 3 – Joy & Sorrow

Leah Clearwater

Chapter 24 – Guilt

Right after Carlisle had arrived with Bella, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, I had lost consciousness and when I woke up it took me a while to recognise where I was. The white walls and the smell of the sheets were I was lying in told me I was in the Hospital.

"Hey…How are you feeling?" Jacob asked holding my hand.

"Tired." I confessed.

"You'll be alright." He said smiling weakly. "Do you remember what happened?"

Suddenly my heart raced and I covered my mouth.

"Did I lose our baby?" I managed to ask.

"No. The baby is fine."

I sighed in relief.

"Where are we?"

"Vancouver."

"Really?"

He nodded.

"Look, Leah…I don't want you to worry about anything else right now but our baby. Things are still a bit complicated but I promise you everything will be alright."

"What are you talking about? What's wrong?"

"We're going to leave to Forks as soon as Carlisle talks to your doctor. I'll tell you everything once we get home."

"I want to know now. Is everyone alright? Quil? The others?"

"Quil's fine. He recovered easily as soon as Carlisle arrived."

"The attack was just a distraction." I said.

"I know. Edward read the leech's mind. We know he wanted to get you...we know what he wanted to do to you. Fucking bastard."

"What happened to Joham?"

"He's gone."

"As in dead?"

"No. He escaped but the Volturi are still after him. Demetri is the best tracker in the world. They will catch him for sure."

"And then what?"

Jacob shrugged. I guess the Volturi would deal with Joham their way. That wasn't very reassuring though since I suspected they had some kind of morbid interest in the leech's experiments. Besides there was still the possibility that he would come after me again.

"Did you find the house? Joham set up the fire and there was…"

"A girl there. We know." Jacob cut me off. "I sent a group to save her."

"Is she okay?"

"She's still on the ICU. Emmett and Carlisle saved her…but now it's up to her."

"She's pregnant."

"The baby is alive too, but there are complications."

"Is she alone?"

"I think Carlisle contacted her family."

"What about Kim?"

"Jared found her."

"Is she here too? Can I see her? She's the one who saved me…She managed to warn you…I never thought she would be this strong."

"She wasn't he one who warned us."

"What? But…"

"When we noticed you and Kim were missing, Edward realised the case was serious. He and Alice travelled to Italy and the next day they came back with the Volturi. Since Demetri is a tracker and since he knew Joham already, we were able to locate you."

"I see. Anyways, Kim was very brave. I want to talk to her."

"She's recovering right now."

"Jacob…What is it? What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing. I told you, we need to go back to Forks and you need to rest."

"I'm fine. I feel great."

We were suddenly interrupted by Seth who came inside and hugged me tightly.

"Hey there big sister." He smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Great. Can you please discharge me?"

"Sorry but I'm not your doctor."

"Damn."

"I called mum earlier, she can't wait to see you. Harry and William are cooking blueberry pies for you."

I smiled thinking about the twins cooking with their grandmother. Charlie's kitchen was going to end up in a chaos.

"I'm going to talk to your doctor so he can sign your release papers." Seth said leaving the room. "I suggest you tell her the truth now, Jake. It's better this way." He added before closing the door.

I glanced over at Jacob and he sat down on the bed with me.

"Look, Leah…what happened is not your fault." He started. "You were drugged and even if you wanted to protect those women, you would kill our baby, so…no one blames you."

I nodded but I felt my heart aching when I thought about all the lives that Joham had taken and that I wasn't able to save. I was supposed to be strong, a protector and yet I let him kill those pregnant women and their babies.

"Carlisle is in charge of talking to the authorities. The bodies will be taken to the morgue to be recognised but the Cullens think there are other victims."

"I just felt useless."

"I know the feeling but…there's something else I need to tell you. I was hoping to tell you later but Seth's right. Better sooner than later."

"What?" I asked nervously.

"Well…When Edward called us saying that he and Alice were bringing Alec, Jane, Felix and Demetri, we were worried about the safety of our people. We didn't know what to expect besides we don't trust the Italians."

"I understand. I would do the same."

"So we called a meeting with the Council and we decided to rejoin the packs. I'm the alpha and Sam is temporarily my Beta. He's going to step down as soon as you have the baby."

"You rejoined the packs?" I was dumbfounded. Jacob had opposed to that since forever and now he had even accepted Sam as his beta again.

"You and Kim were missing and this new enemy had managed to hurt Quil, so we thought it would be better if we all could be in touch. The packs would have to work as one again. They all accepted, even Sam. Actually this was his idea."

"I don't know what to say."

"There's more. When we left La Push, we were divided into three groups. My group followed the Volturi who were already after Joham. Jared's group followed Kim's scent into the forest and Paul's group went to the house in flames."

"You worked as a team again."

"Yes, we did."

"What happened then?"

"When Jared found Kim…She had been attacked."

My heart almost stopped when he spoke those words.

"But you said Kim's fine."

"We think Joham attacked her but when he realised we were coming, he didn't have time to finish the job and left. Kim was pretty bruised and she lost a lot of blood…Seth managed to save her but when she arrived the Hospital there were complications with the baby. They had to induce labour and the baby died an hour ago. His lungs and brain were severely damaged by the lack of oxygen. There was nothing we could do."

I was completely frozen. I couldn't believe that Kim had lost her baby. She had everything prepared for baby Jesse. I had seen the room Jared had been painting, the small crib and the toys. I had even bought him a present. Three more months and Jesse would have been born safely and now he was gone.

"No…This can't be true." I mumbled.

"I'm sorry." Jacob hugged me.

"It's was my fault. If she wasn't there when Joham found me…If only I…"

"Stop, Leah." Jacob cut me off and held my shoulders. "You can't change the past. You can't think about what could've happened if you'd done things differently."

"But it's still my fault. I used those girls because I was afraid. I was terrified because I didn't know if you would be able to find me. I was scared because I thought I wouldn't be able to see you and the kids again. I knew what Joham was going to do to me and that's why I told Kim and the others to leave the house and try to get help. I should've never allowed her to go."

"It was my fault too. I wasn't there to save you. I'm sorry."

I cried for a while in Jacob's arms. It was almost impossible to describe the sadness I was feeling to know that Kim had lost her baby and I still had mine. It wasn't fair.

"I want to talk to her." I stated.

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Please."

Jacob got up and gave me some clothes.

"I'll wait outside."

I did my best to keep my composure when I met Jared outside Kim's room. I had never seen one of my pack brothers crying, except for Jacob, Seth and Sam. The only thing I kept thinking was how much this whole situation was unfair to him. He didn't deserve to suffer like this.

Paul and Embry were by Jared's side and after a few seconds Quil arrived with a cup of coffee. I guess Jacob had made a good decision about rejoining the packs. They seemed to be closer than ever. But that didn't mean Jared would forgive me just because I was part of the pack.

"Jared…" I said softly. "I'm so sorry."

He lifted his brown eyes from the floor and tried to smile. Unexpectedly he pulled me into his arms and hugged me for a few seconds.

"Thanks." He whispered trying to hold down his tears. I couldn't hold mine though. I couldn't understand why Jared was thanking me. "Thanks for saving her life."

"I didn't save anyone…" I murmured.

"She told me what that leech was going to do to her. She would've died along with our baby if he injected her."

It was a relief to see that Jacob was right. Jared didn't blame me for what happened but that didn't mean I was feeling less guilty. I would carry the death of Kim's child forever. That much I knew.

"Can I see her?" I asked.

"She doesn't want to see anyone. She just threw me out of the room."

"I understand."

"She'll be back to normal once we go home." He said with a hint of hope in his voice. "She's staying here until tomorrow for observation. Carlisle said it's safer this way."

"Someone should stay with you." I glanced over to Jacob.

"There's no need. Kim's parents are coming over. They're bringing Jerry too." Jared said.

"I guess it will be nice for her to see Jerry." I agreed.

"You're free to go." Seth said joining us. "The Cullens are waiting for us in the car."

For the first time in many years I felt completely drained. I was making a huge effort, trying to cope with everything that had happened in the passed three days. It was hard to imagine that so much had changed. I didn't feel like that since my father had died. It was a feeling of loneliness, guilt and self-pity. Most of all it was despair and fear that nothing would be the same again.

Yes I was going home, yes I still had my family but everything was different. The pack was rejoined for starters. I didn't mind about the younger ones or even with Paul, Jared, Brady and Collin, but Sam...He was still a ghost from my past and I was afraid that he would disturb my relationship with Jacob again.

And then there was Kim. Jared didn't blame me for his child's death. He had even thanked me for helping Kim, whatever that meant, because I didn't think I had helped her at all. She had every right to hate me. I never had a very good reputation in our community but now I was actually scared about what other people, mainly the other imprints, would think about me. I could always ignore them.

"You're overreacting." The mind rapist said when I got inside the silver Volvo. "You're just imagining things. They won't blame you. You are the only one who blames yourself."

I chose not to answer. Right now I wasn't ready to speak about the subject out loud.

I could feel Jacob's warm arm around my shoulders while Edward was driving us back to Forks but I was feeling so mentally tired that his words of comfort weren't having any effect on me. I kept thinking about all the lives I should have saved.

"You shouldn't blame yourself like that, Leah." The mind rapist said again.

"You should consider becoming a shrink or something." I said.

"I know...maybe in the future. I have all the time in the world." He grinned. "The point is we could have acted sooner. These deaths aren't just your burden to bear."

"What do you mean?" I asked surprised.

"Before leaving Forks Alice had a few visions about dead women." Bella explained. "We began to suspect that a vampire was involved but we never thought Joham had already made so many victims."

"You knew about this?" I gasped.

"Not everything. Alice knew something was going on since we came home from Italy. Aro insisted that Alice went to Volterra to get me and Will because he needed Alice's powers." Edward said.

I was confused but Jacob seemed to understand what Edward was saying so I let him continue.

"The Volturi captured Joham once. They learned a few things from him like the fact that there were still werewolves alive in India. Aro also read Joham's mind and saw he had a great scientific knowledge so they let him go. When they realised Joham was killing women they got worried and Aro asked Alice to see the future. He wanted to know how dangerous Joham really was." Edward resumed the story.

"Alice saw many dead women but since Joham never killed more than three women in the same area, the Volturi didn't take him as a serious threat." Bella continued. "She didn't see the real danger because Leah was directly involved in the matter."

"How many women died?" I asked.

"As far as we know…thirteen." Bella said. "But we only know about the ones who were filled missing. There might be others."

Thirteen women, thirteen babies. I suddenly hoped the Volturi would catch Joham and Jane would torture him for all eternity.

We arrived at Charlie's place before dinner. I was relieved to see my children. They kept the bad thoughts away from my mind for a while. My mother had a delicious meal waiting for us and everyone acted as if nothing bad had happened.

We had already thought about a cover up story for being away from home for three days. Jacob, Jared, Kim and I had gone to visit the Cullens in Canada and we had an accident. The Rabbit had been damaged, I had suffered a few cuts and bruises and unfortunately Kim had lost her baby. The story wasn't very consistent since Jacob and Jared were perfectly fine but no one needed to know the truth.

I could see the relief in my mother's face when we left to La Push. She had been worried about me again. Charlie whispered to me she hadn't slept in two days.

Once we arrived home Jacob and I went to put the kids in their beds. I kissed them and stayed with them until they fell asleep. I didn't know what I would do if I lost one of my children. I would probably go insane.

I joined Jacob on the bed after a brief shower. I could still smell the scent of that damn leech all over me and the scent of death that I had to put up with in that house. Fortunately Jacob's scent could camouflage the others. We lay in bed silently, hearing the small noises outside: the crickets, a dog, a cat, a squirrel, the wind.

I only realised I was crying when I felt Jacob's arms swing around my waist and pulling me closer. I would remember the screams and the pleas of Joham's victims forever but after a few minutes I managed to calm down.

"You're safe now. I'm here." Jacob whispered to me.

"Jacob…I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to do anything Leah. Just stay with me and try to rest."

"I was weak."

"You were drugged…It's wasn't your fault."

"Do you know what he wanted from me?"

"Edward read Kim's mind. We know the whole story."

"He wanted to turn our baby into a monster."

"I would never allow it."

"You weren't there…"

"I know...I feel as useless as I felt when Irina attacked you. I wish I was there with you. I wish I never said Embry to tell you to pick up Kim at the Hospital. This is my fault."

"We're going to blame ourselves forever and I hate it."

"Me too."

We were silent for a while and then I suddenly realised I hadn't told Jacob about the other wolves. The ones who had saved me after the car crash.

"Are there new wolves in the pack?" I asked.

"No. Why?" He asked worriedly.

"I saw two wolves right before you found me."

"Two wolves? There was Sam, Embry and Brady with me...I didn't see more wolves."

"They didn't belong to our pack. One was black and white and the other was white and grey. They were smaller than us. Actually they were even maller than Denis."

"Are you sure? You had hit your head pretty hard…Maybe you think you saw them."

"I'm sure. They followed Joham."

"The Cullens never saw them while they were after Joham neither did Sam or the others."

It was weird but I knew I hadn't imagined the two wolves.

"We'll check that out later. Now I want you to sleep, okay?" Jacob suggested and I nodded. My eyes were already half closed when he said that. I was feeling so comfortable that I fell asleep immediately.

xxxxxxxxxx

I felt Jacob's body leaving the bed but I didn't care. I needed to sleep. My body was too tired to get up and I wasn't ready to go back to my daily routine. It was almost a week after Joham had kidnapped me and Kim and nothing much had changed. I was going to stay at home for two more weeks before going back to work, doctor's orders, of course.

Jacob wasn't that lucky but then again he wasn't pregnant. I could hear Jacob calling the twins to get up and start getting ready to go to school. He was keeping his promise this time. He was helping me as much as he could. I really didn't know why but this time I was actually worried about what people would think about everything that happened with us, especially with Kim.

Kim, like Emily, had a very good reputation in the Reservation, opposite from me, of course. Being involved in a car accident with me was going to start some rumours and I knew people would blame me for the loss of Kim's baby. Not that I wasn't feeling guilty already, it was just that the circumstances were different from what everyone would actually think.

Kim was already at home but she still refused to talk. Jared was having a hard time for the past few days and we didn't know how much he could take. The only person Kim would actually talk to was Seth. He told us it was normal for a woman to act like that after losing a child. In his opinion she would heal with time and things would get better once she accepted that Jesse was gone.

I opened my eyes to see Jacob looking at me. He sat down in the bed and held my hand.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I was just watching you sleeping."

"That's creepy."

He shrugged.

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"Anything will be fine besides I don't think I can eat right now."

"Morning sickness?"

"Yeah…"

"You've been throwing up for three days now. You should go see Carlisle."

"I'm pregnant Jacob. I'm supposed to throw up."

"I'm going to take the kids to school…will you be alright?"

"Sure."

I spent the next ten minutes in the bathroom and when I was finally well enough to go the kitchen Jacob showed up with Edward Cullen. I really wasn't expecting him to visit us but there was something about his face that told me he wasn't there just to visit.

"I ran into Jacob by the door." He said. "We need to talk."

"You could've called." I mumbled. His sweet smell was going to make me throw up again soon.

"Morning sickness." He stated.

"Duh."

"I tried to call but the line was disconnected and you have your cell phones off."

"Leah needs to rest at night so I turned off all the phones." Jacob explained. "What's going on?"

"Alice had a vision." Edward announced. "It's about the Volturi."

"Did they catch Joham?" I asked.

"Yes. They took him to Volterra but…"

"They let him go, didn't they?" I cut Edward off.

"No…But Aro read his mind to know all about his plans and now he decided to come here again."

That caught us by surprise. We weren't expecting to be forced to face the Italians again.

"Are you sure?" Jacob asked.

"Yes. Alice said they'll arrive tonight."

"Tonight? Why are they coming? Are they coming for William?" I inquired nervously. There was no way I was going to watch them take my son away just like that.

"No…I'm afraid this time they're coming for you Leah." Edward stated. "I'm sorry."

A/Note 3: I've counted the chapters left and this story will have a total of 28 chapters. So there are 4 more to go. The last chapter will be the 27th and then I'll write an Epilogue (chp 28) probably in Sam's POV. I'm absolutely stunned with myself because I never thought I would write something in Sam's POV. That will be a challenge.

Blackwater101: Just like you wanted here are the amazing Volturi back to mess up with Leah this time. Don't expect too much though because this story has a happy ending. ;D

Rafaela: Sim, eu publico depressa porque preciso de tirar todas estas ideias da cabeça ou não vou ser capaz de estudar para os testes da semana que vem. Assim que fizer os testes vou começar a traduzir para português, o que será mais fácil do que ao contrário.

Jeakat: More twists and turns. When they finally got rid of Joham, Aro comes along. What a pain in the ass. XD

YoGurlB: I killed Amanda, I saved Cassie and her baby, Leah's child is fine too and now the Volturi are back. By the way, you're right about Bella and Edward. A small piece of me still thinks it would be awesome if Edward had just killed Bella in the first place. That would've taught her not to mess with vampires. I mean who is the sane and normal girl that finds out the boy she likes is a vampire and stays like "Ohhhh...it's fine. I don't freaking care if you're a vamp 'cause I totally know a lot of other vampires and I totally knew they exist."?WTF...I mean her reaction was way too "calm"? Come on I would totally freaked, at least at first. There are a few things about human nature that Steph forgot when she wrote the book, it's called self-preservation. People normally runaway from potential threats but Bella did the opposite. That doesn't give the book much credibility, does it? Anyway, what Steph says goes and now we have to put up with it. God bless Fanfictions. ;D

Take care,

Karisan