Warning! This chapter contains some pretty explicit sexual material! If you think that you might be offended then please do not read it!
Soren looked at her face in the mirror. What momentary lapse in sanity had induced her to rebel against the leadership of her home planet and escape on the Enterprise? And for what? Here she was, the only J'naii amidst humans, androids, Klingons, and Betazoids. If she had ever truly felt like an outcast, it was right at this moment. Tears began to stream down her face.
"What troubles you, Soren?"
Soren looked around to see who had spoken. It was Data. Dear, sweet Data, who in his own way was just as childlike and innocent as she herself was, if not even more so.
"Oh Data, I don't belong here on the Enterprise. Look at me! I'm different from everyone else here. Nobody else on board has a forehead like mine. Everyone else was born knowing whether they were male or female and grew up that way. I should have just stayed on J'naii and tried to forget about my dream of being able to live openly as a woman without shame and ridicule."
"On the contrary, I find your presence here on the Enterprise to be a refreshing change. I think that your forehead is lovely, as is the rest of you. You bring a diversity and different perspective to our group here. I consider that to be most welcome." As usual Data, for all his social awkwardness in general, had known just the right thing to say to comfort her.
"Oh Data, you are so kind." Soren embraced him, and he put his arms around her awkwardly. "I was merely stating what to me seems to be an accurate observation," he said.
Suddenly Tasha Yar was there, taking Data by the hand. She gave Soren a look that, while not obviously hostile, was definitely less than friendly. "What are you doing here?" she asked Data.
Data gave Soren a helpless look and followed Tasha. He seemed totally oblivious to anything being amiss. Soren was puzzled, wondering what she had done to offend Tasha.
Deanna Troi heard a knock on her door. It was Will Riker.
"Come in, Will," she said. She waited until he was seated. "What's on your mind?"
"Deanna, I think that perhaps it was a mistake for me to get involved with Soren. I was just so strongly attracted to her that I must have taken temporary leave of my senses. Now I realize that we might not be compatible."
"What has happened, Will?"
"Soren has begun to act insecure and jealous, which as you know is a big turn off for me. Last night she all but accused me of being a philanderer."
"Yesterday Soren came to me and asked me a lot of questions. She wanted to know about our past relationship. I told her the basic facts without going into detail. She seemed concerned about how to prevent the loss of your love."
"Well, the way she spoke to me last night was definitely not conducive to that concept."
Deanna thought for awhile. Finally she asked, "How important is this relationship to you, Will?"
Will considered her question. Then he said, "Under the circumstances, I can't just toss Soren aside. Where would she go? Obviously she can't return to her own people. Where else could she turn?"
"I believe that Soren genuinely cares for you, Will. Right now she feels overwhelmed because this is all so new to her, and she feels unsure about her ability to maintain a romantic relationship. If you really care for her and want to be with her, she needs a lot of patience and understanding from you. Remember that for the very first time in her life she no longer has to hide her feminine nature. It's going to take some time for her to learn how to express it appropriately. If you truly care for her and want this relationship to work out, you must understand that."
"Thank you, Deanna. You have helped me to see the situation in a whole new light."
"Any time, Will." She gave him a hug and kissed his cheek.
Will approached Soren's closed door with trepidation. He knew that he had to speak to her, but he wasn't sure what to say, or whether she would believe him anyway.
He knocked softly and Soren let him in. He could see that her eyes were red from crying, and that made him feel even more awkward.
Soren sat on her bed and waited silently for him to speak. She had been surprised to see him at her door after the unpleasant scene from the previous night. She wondered whether he was there in an attempt to reconcile or to deliver devastating news.
Finally Will said, "Soren, please believe me, there's no other woman in the world I want but you. I love you so very much, Soren. I only wish that there were some way I could make you believe that."
Soren was flooded with relief combined with another emotion not yet familiar enough for her to recognize it. "Will, please forgive me. It was so wrong of me to have doubted you. I know that you wouldn't have put your career on the line to rescue me from J'naii if you didn't really care." She looked longingly into his soulful blue eyes. "I want so badly to love you, Will. But I don't know how. Will you show me?"
Will kissed her passionately, the way he had last kissed her in the woods on J'naii. She lay back on the bed and he lay beside her, still kissing her while his hands moved all over her body. Gently he removed her upper garment and nuzzled her rudimentary nipples with his lips and tongue. Soren had never been touched exactly like that before, and it felt very pleasant. Will removed her lower garment and explored between her legs with his fingers. Almost immediately he hesitated, looking confused.
Soren barely noticed. She was too busy removing his clothing, her heart pounding madly with anticipation. As soon as she had undressed him she took his swollen and rigid male organ in her hand and softly explored every inch of it with her fingers. She glanced at his face to see him smiling encouragingly at her. Suddenly she had the overpowering urge to take him into her mouth, so she did, licking and suckling with abandon. At the same time she moved her hand to stroke the soft skin of his scrotum. She heard him moan with pleasure, and that made her feel incredibly excited.
Then she felt him thrust forcefully and her mouth filled with a hot wetness. She gulped and swallowed several times. Then he went limp and fell out of her mouth. Soren marveled at the difference between the hardness of his organ before and the softness of it now but was too overcome to say anything.
Will took her into his arms and held her close. She could hear his ragged breathing and feel his heart beating fast and strong. Neither of them said anything for a long time. Then Will broke the silence.
"My God, Soren, where did you learn how to do that?"
"Nowhere. It just came to me."
"You're kidding."
"No, I'm serious. Did you find it pleasurable?"
"You mean you have to ask?" He laughed and she joined in. "So how many other hidden talents do you have?"
She blushed furiously and couldn't look at him. He gently touched her chin and looked directly into her eyes, and then he kissed her tenderly on the mouth and held her close to him. "I only wish that I could give you the same pleasure you have just given me, Soren."
"It gives me pleasure just to know that I have pleased you, Will."
He gently stroked her hair. "Oh, my sweet, precious Soren."
In a vague way Soren thought that there must be more to the human mating experience than what she and Will had just done, but right now she was too tired and emotionally charged to want to ponder it too much.
"Will you stay here with me tonight, Will? I don't feel like being alone tonight."
"Of course I will, Soren. I was hoping that you would want me to stay with you."
Tears sprang unexpectedly to Soren's eyes and she sniffled just a little bit. Will looked at her, his eyes filled with concern. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
"I was just thinking about a couple of days ago when I was looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself that I should have just stayed where I was, that I didn't belong here at all."
"Oh, Soren, please don't ever tell yourself that again. Right here in my arms is exactly where you belong. And right where I want you to stay."
"I know that now. Good night, Will."
"Good night, my love." Only minutes later both of them were sound asleep.