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Chapter 6-Out of My Head
Four months, that was how long Noah and Leanne had been together, and for four whole months Kurt had been desperately wishing for them to break up.
He hardly got to spend any quality time with his best friend anymore; Leanne seemed to be taking over Noah's life. If one of the Glee members organised a get-together of some kind, either Noah would bring Leanne along and they'd stay for a few minutes before she complained she was bored and insisted they leave, or Noah wouldn't come at all because Leanne wanted them to do something else.
Noah even had to miss Santana's birthday party because Leanne wasn't in the mood for socializing and she didn't want Noah to go without her because she apparently didn't trust him with Santana. Kurt found this piece of information out during one of Noah's late night phone calls.
Although he never voiced it to Noah, it infuriated him greatly. In perfect honesty, Kurt could understand Leanne not trusting Santana, especially given Noah and Santana's history, but despite whether she trusted Santana or not, Leanne should at least trust Noah.
It was ridiculous; Noah was hardly allowed to do anything without Leanne's say so anymore. If he spent too much time around other girls then she'd get suspicious and accuse him of cheating. If he spent too much time hanging with guys she'd throw a tantrum over how he wasn't paying enough attention to her.
Noah's mum didn't like Leanne, neither did Noah's sister. The rest of the Glee club had all liked her well enough when they first met her but after a few weeks they too came to despise her, though nobody detested her more than Kurt.
He was intensely jealous of her relationship with Noah, the longest relationship Noah had ever been in as a matter of fact, but his envy wasn't his only reason for hating her very existence. Even from a friend's point of view, he couldn't stand the way she treated Noah.
On many occasions, Noah had phoned or texted in the middle of the night complaining about Leanne. Being the good friend he was, Kurt listened patiently then suggested that he break up with her if she wasn't making him happy. But every time he said such a thing Noah would become defensive and start babbling about how beautiful she was and how much he loved her.
Love, such a pleasant word, in fact it was one of Kurt's favourites. It rolled off the tongue so beautifully in his opinion, yet when he heard that word slip from Noah's mouth as he spoke of Leanne, it sounded truly horrid.
At first, Kurt had hoped Noah would be over his Leanne infatuation as soon as he got his leg over. Sadly, that was not the case. Noah got the girl into bed of course, nobody could resist such a good-looking stud, but unlike most of the other girls he had bedded, Noah didn't break up with her immediately after. He stayed with her and no doubt took her to bed more times than Kurt would like to think about.
He knew what Noah's reputation was, knew he wouldn't keep it in his pants for long. It would only be a matter of time before he and Leanne gave in to teenage hormones. Kurt had known this from the start, he wasn't a complete fool. Yet he tried to kid himself into believing that it hadn't happened between them for a long time. However, some time during their third month of dating, Kurt could not live in his denial any longer.
He had arranged to spend a Saturday afternoon at Noah's so the two of them could do homework and work on a Glee assignment. Leanne had been there when the two made the arrangements so she knew exactly what time Kurt would be arriving at her boyfriend's house.
When Kurt got there and knocked on the door, he was left waiting on the doorstep longer than usual. When Noah finally opened the door, he was topless, panting slightly and covered in sweat. At first, Kurt had innocently thought the boy had simply been working out, but then he heard Leanne's girlish laugh and looked up to see her at the top of the stairs with Noah's bed sheets wrapped round her.
The sight was beyond painful but Kurt couldn't look away. His eyes kept drinking in the sight of her stood there after clearly being expertly fucked by the boy he was hopelessly in love with. It felt to Kurt as though somebody was forcibly keeping his eyes open and pouring acid into his eyes, burning the sight into his memory.
She had planned it, of this Kurt was certain. He had no physical or visible proof but his instincts told him that she'd done it deliberately. Whether that meant Leanne had worked out how Kurt truly felt about Noah, he didn't know. It was highly probable that she was simply just a cold-heartless bitch.
Eventually, Kurt managed to pull his eyes away. He apologised for interrupting and told Noah he'd see him at school before hurrying away, ignoring Noah calling out to him.
That night, Kurt had once again cried for hours over his best friend who was unknowingly breaking his heart.
Now, a month later, Kurt found himself alone with Noah. Something that was very rare since he'd been seeing Leanne. The couple's four month anniversary was coming up that weekend and Noah had asked for Kurt's help. He was going to take Leanne to a posh and very expensive restaurant. He'd been saving his money up for a while so he'd be able to afford it. He'd asked for Kurt to help him find something suitable to wear and for his advice on what type of flowers he should get her.
Kurt was sorely tempted to suggest he get her a Venus Fly Trap or a Cactus but he managed to restrain himself and advised Noah to play it safe with a bouquet of roses, secretly hoping that the girl was deathly allergic.
"Thanks for helping me out." Noah said as he admired himself in the mirror after Kurt had selected him an appropriate outfit. "I look good right."
"Very handsome." Kurt replied honestly, earning himself a wide grin in response. "Leanne's a lucky girl." He said out loud, though in his head he was thinking something along the lines of 'Leanne's a manipulative little bitch'.
"Hell yeah she is." Noah commented arrogantly. "I mean I'm so damn hot I sometimes wish I could date myself. But seriously, I'm the lucky one. After all those hot but boring girls I fooled around with, I've finally found one who isn't just beautiful, but she's smart, she's funny, she has a great personality. She's amazing."
Kurt couldn't help it, he let out a snort of disbelief and Noah looked at him oddly before demanding to know what his problem was.
"Nothing, Noah." Kurt sighed. "Have fun with Little Miss Perfect on Saturday."
He stood up to leave but Noah latched hold of his arm preventing him from doing so.
"Do you have a problem with my girlfriend, Kurt?" Noah asked. "Because if you do then that is not cool."
"Do you really care to know the truth?" Kurt asked and Noah nodded. "Very well. I can't stand her. I hate her ok? Every time I think of her I feel like vomiting. Whenever I see you with her, I feel an overwhelming urge to punch her in the face. If I walked by a lake and saw her drowning, I wouldn't try to help, I'd probably hold her head under and watch the bitch drown."
"That's it, get the fuck out!" Noah snapped making Kurt flinch. "Leanne's my girl; you don't get to talk about her that way. Go on, go!"
"Fine, I'm gone!" Kurt yelled back before rushing out of the house, feeling pretty certain that he'd left a piece of his heart lying unloved on Noah's bedroom floor.
It was nearly three weeks before Kurt and Noah spoke again. Things were awkward at first, but soon enough Noah was apologising. Kurt lied and said he was sorry too and the taller teen pulled him in for a hug and Kurt cherished the feel, breathing in the smell of the other boy's intoxicating scent.
They met up later that day and went to the cinema together. Kurt allowed Noah to choose the film and they ended up watching some horror movie. Noah of course was all brave and manly; Kurt on the other hand was absolutely terrified and kept grabbing Noah's hand out of fear, much to the Jewish boy's amusement.
At one particularly tense part, Kurt let out a high-pitched shriek and turned to bury his face in the crook of Noah's neck. Chuckling softly at him, Noah wrapped an arm around him and rubbed his back gently. When Kurt finally found the courage to face the screen again, Noah kept his arm around him for comfort.
The film finished and the two left together talking about what they'd just watched. To Kurt, it almost felt like they were on a date. Noah even dropped him off at home then opened the truck door for him and walked him up his garden path.
As they stood together on the doorstep laughing amicably with one another, Kurt even dared to hope that the other boy might just lean in kiss him. However, his fantasies were dashed when Noah's cell phone rang. Looking down at the screen, Noah announced that it was Leanne before he answered and then headed back to his truck without a proper goodbye.
Feeling yet another crack be made to his already mutilated heart, Kurt let himself inside his house and muttered a half-hearted 'hello' to his dad before heading down to his basement.
He barely had chance to begin wallowing in his misery, something he was well practiced at since he had first met Leanne, before his dad was knocking lightly on his door then stepping inside, an expression of concern on his face.
"Kurt, is everything ok?" Burt asked gently.
Kurt was determined to keep himself together and stay strong, but his attempt lasted for all of two seconds before he broke down and cried in his dad's arms.
Startled, Burt blinked in surprise before hugging his boy back and whispering reassuring words in his ear.
He didn't question his son over what had him so upset, knowing that Kurt would tell him when he was good and ready. He simply held his boy as he cried, comforting him as best as he could until Kurt regained his composure and politely asked to be left alone.
Looking at his reflection, Kurt was mildly distraught to see his eyes were red and puffy and his nose was red and blotchy from where he'd been crying. Normally, he would hasten to apply make-up and concealer to improve his look and disguise all signs of recent tears, but as it was, he simply didn't have the energy.
He flopped stomach-down onto his soft mattress and curled up on his bed holding tight to his favourite pillow. Turning onto his back, he held the pillow close to his chest and looked to his bedside table where he had a photograph of himself and Noah in a silver frame. In the photo, Noah was stood behind Kurt with both arms draped over his shoulders. Kurt had his head tilted back slightly so they were looking at each other rather than the camera, both of them smiling. Kurt loved that photo; they looked more than just friends in it. They looked like a couple. Of course, appearances can be deceptive. It was not he who was hold protectively in Noah's strong arms, instead it was Leanne.
He knew Noah wasn't his, knew he never would be and he knew he should move on. But he didn't think that would ever be possible. Noah was everything he wanted and more, and even though he'd probably never have him, he was sure his devotion would never subside.
"Guess mine is not the first heart broken…" Kurt sang softly to himself, his misery chewing at his insides.
"My eyes are not the first to cry,
I'm not the first to know,
There's just no getting over you.
You know, I'm just a fool who's willing,
To sit around and wait for you,
But baby can't you see,
There's nothing else for me to do.
I'm hopelessly devoted to you.
But now, there's nowhere to hide,
Since you pushed my love aside,
I'm out of my head,
Hopelessly devoted to you,
Hopelessly devoted to you,
Hopelessly devoted to you.
My head is saying, 'Fool, forget him',
My heart is saying, 'Don't let go',
Hold on to the end,
That's what I intend to do.
I'm hopelessly devoted to you.
But now, there's nowhere to hide,
Since you pushed my love aside,
I'm out of my head,
Hopelessly devoted to you,
Hopelessly devoted to you,
Hopelessly devoted to you."
He finished singing and was attacked with another bout of tears.
To Be Continued
Song = 'Hopelessly Devoted To You'-Olivia Newton-John
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