Title: Girl Talk and Storage closets

Disclaimer: I do not own the mentalist

Pairings: (Jello and) RigsPelt

Warnings: occasional bad words

Rating: K+ due to the occasional bad words

Spoilers: No real spoilers, but if you want to be sure, don't read if you haven't seen the end of season 2.

AN: So my anonymous/not-logged-in reader AM (nice nick btw) asked for a sequel to Unprofessional with the prompts 'storage closets' and 'girl talk'... for my purposes I switched them round. I had already implied that Grace and Lisbon were going to talk on the drive back to the office... so that's what they'll be doing here...

AN.5: Thanks to everybody who reviewed Unprofessional. Lysjelonken: I enjoyed writing her, even if she was a tad OOC; Jisbon4Ever: Eye Sex is something I discovered over on Stargate: Atlantis and I just thought the term fit them nicely; AM: here it is, hope you'll enjoy it! Anna: Glad you like them!

Girl Talk and Storage Closets

We're sitting in the SUV on our way back to the office. Grace is busy saying she's sorry. Over and over again.

"Grace!"

Her head snaps up at my unusual use of her first name.

"Listen, I get it... you overreacted. It happens occasionally and I'm just glad it happened in front of me and not one of the guys." I take a deep breath.

When I first went to college I didn't know anything about intermediating 'girl style'. I grew up with three younger brothers. After my mom's death I was too busy raising them to spend my time fighting and making up with my girlfriends. So when I first arrived at College and had my first fight with my roommate... I tried to solve it 'boy style' (lots of bravado, hardly any acknowledgement of guilt, stupid jokes). Thankfully Kelly had grown up with brothers, too, and knew exactly what I was trying to say. She was a great teacher when it came to gushing, giggling, and general girlishness. Boy, am I glad I allowed myself to learn from her instead of shutting her out. Of course there is still a touch of abrasiveness whenever I try one of her methods.

"I know it's difficult to be a woman working in what is still considered a man's job. If we weren't in law enforcement there'd be a lot more leeway for us to occasionally be bitchy and difficult and in a bad mood. Occasionally, because you and I would probably still be working in a high-stress, high-education kind of job and not, say, a diner or a boutique or any of the other places that encourage feminine behavior. But we chose to be agents, and unfortunately that means we have to do everything twice as well as the guys if we want to succeed. Not that I would allow Rigsby or Cho to sulk. If we had been there any longer I would have given Rigsby the same warning I gave you. You were just closer at the time."

While I'm talking Van Pelt seems to cheer up a bit and I'm glad about that. I really do care about her, as I do about all the team.

"What about Jane?" She asks, while looking out the window.

The part of me that likes to hide from people wants to brush her off, but I'm pretty sure that would destroy any trust she has in me, and I need her to trust me. I need to know I can count on her following my orders out in the field.

"As you pointed out earlier, my relationship with Jane isn't exactly professional..." She tries to interrupt me, but I lift my hand in a 'hear me out' gesture. "Not because I don't want it to be professional. I think my life would be a lot easier if Jane was a normal person who respected other normal people's boundaries. But I think we can both agree that he isn't very good with that."

She nods. "Did you know that he blackmailed Wayne into going along with one of his schemes, by threatening to tell you about us?"

I turn my eyes away from the road to gape at her for a second. "You're kidding!"

"Nope."

"That manipulative blond rat."

Van Pelt snorts. "Yeah... you know I can think of worse ways to describe him."

I grin. "I bet."

I look over at her again, and she looks much better now; more relaxed and sure of herself. "There is one thing I need to make clear, before I invite you to start bashing your boyfriend – who I don't know and whose name you are not going to mention. You can not talk to me the way you did on that crime scene – ever – again. Got that? The next time that happens I have to take some sort of action and I don't want to do that."

"Yes, boss. I..."

"Don't you dare apologizing again! Now... what exactly did your boyfriend do to get you in such a horrible mood anyway?"

Van Pelt blushes slightly. Oh no, I so hope I did not just open the 'sex can of worms'. Because as much as I may sympathize with her having to deal with the fallout from their fight... there are just some things I do not need to know about my colleagues.

"It's stupid..." She sighs, and I suddenly have an inkling about what they were fighting about.

"Let me guess... something small, something that's not even really worth mentioning, something that just bugs you." I've had my fair share of relationships. Shortly before you end it you fight about the big things, sure. But when you're really just start getting closer, when you're still busy learning new things about each other, when you just dare to let your hair down... that's when you fight about how you squeeze out the toothpaste the wrong way, or about how he never closes the drawers.

"He never closes the drawers or closet doors. It drives me nuts."

I can't help the shocked look on my face. Rigsby and my ex share the same annoying quirk and apparently Van Pelt and I share the same pet peeve. Who would have thought? Suddenly I feel bad for imagining her being secretly messy when we were still at the crime scene.

"I know it's ridiculous..."

"Don't close them!"

She blinks. "What?"

"Don't close the drawers and closet doors."

"Why?"

"Because after he hits his shins at the drawers and his head at open closet doors for the umpteenth time, he's going to learn to close them himself."

Van Pelt stares at me... "Are you talking from experience?"

I roll my eyes in remembered annoyance. "Oh yeah! Hey how about we make a short stop? I feel like having a smoothie." It's a rhetorical question because I'm already pulling onto the curb next to a food store that sells a kiwi-mango smoothie that's to die for.

"I'd love to."

When we're back in the car Van Pelt looks at me as if she's trying to figure out if it's a good time to ask me a personal question. It's a look that seems to be very common among the people I work with. Most of the times I try to discourage them by using my most intimidating glare or by snapping orders and/or questions to get them back on track. But right now I'm in the car with Van Pelt drinking girlie-fruity-more-or-less-healthy drinks. So I guess it's okay if she asks. "Go on, ask."

"Ask what?"

"Whatever it is you're trying not to." I grin at her and she smiles back.

"I was just wondering... What is your biggest pet peeve when it comes to Jane?"

"I wish I knew... he has so many annoying qualities and traits that it's hard to decide. What's yours?"

She bites her lip as she thinks about it. "Calling Wayne out on his crush on me."

I remember (with fondness) all the times that Jane has embarrassed the two of them. "Yeah, that has got to be annoying when you're on the receiving end of it... for Cho and me it's always a lot of fun."

Grace rolls her eyes. "Of course it is..."

"I hate how he always has to have the last word." I admit. "And how he stupidly endangers everybody's lives. Oh, and don't get me started on the lying and the scheming and the 'I knew he was the murderer from the moment I met him, but I thought it would be fun to watch you running in circles'."

"Don't forget his need to piss off people, the more influential the better!"

"Why do we keep him around again?" We exchange a look. "He solves cases." We say it at the same time and start giggling a second later. Gosh it feels good to have some girl talk. I decide that I'm going to try to reach Kelly tonight. I haven't talked to her in ages and we have a lot of catching up to do. For some reason that reminds me of...

"He plans to lock you and Rigsby in a storage room," the words come out of my mouth on their own volition. As I admitted to Van Pelt earlier... I enjoy watching Jane play them, so telling her about his plans isn't the most intelligent thing to do.

"What?"

"I guess it's his twisted way of getting you to make up."

"Oh my god. It was him." Suddenly sweet Gracie sounds like an angry cat.

"What was him?"

"During my first two or three months on the team I got locked into small rooms with Wayne... oh... half a dozen times or so."

"Really? I didn't know about that."

"Yeah... it only stopped because I started to make sure not to enter small rooms when only Wayne was in them."

"Huh... must be Jane's way of match-making." I turn around a corner and the CBI building becomes visible in the distance. In my head I see a sudden picture... actually it's more like a movie. Jane, alone, in a storage room. All by himself. No one to annoy. Giving me the opportunity to go and interview the super rich guy the victim was working for. No interruptions, no insults, no questions that make the influential guy call Hightower and threaten both of our jobs. Just me and maybe Cho, doing what we do, doing it our own way. It's too good an opportunity to pass up. "Let's trap him."

Van Pelt's head whips round, her eyes as big as saucers. "Trap him?"

"Yeah! He's going to install a camera in one of the storage rooms. He wants to see the big blow-out. Let's trap him!" I pull into the parking lot and kill the engine. I turn to look at Van Pelt and see the same elation I can feel etched into my own features on her face.

"Oh yes! It's time he gets some of his own medicine."

"He richly deserves it!" I agree. "I can't wait to have an undisturbed day at work." I sigh.

"We've got to make sure it's a cleaning closet."

I frown. "Why?"

"Because if it's office supplies he's just gonna use a paper-clip to break himself out."

I nod. Maybe heading into this without a plan is a bad idea. "Van Pelt?"

"Yes."

"Let's post-pone this till tomorrow. Think you can keep fighting with Rigsby until then?"

"Sure, unless we decide to let him in on it." She suggests.

"Oh no, Jane reads Rigsby like Cho reads books. He'd know something was up immediately. We need to plan this very carefully, no screw-ups! Let's go for drinks after work, we can figure the details out then."

Grace nods. "I bet Jane'll use the opportunity to talk to Wayne, so we don't even have to worry about him following us."

I grin. "He won't know what hit him."

Van Pelt holds out the paper cup that contains the rest of her smoothie. "To Operation Storage Closet!"

I nudge my own cup against hers. "To victory over the one-who-is-always-victorious."

So I'm ratcheting the dramatics up a notch or two. By now I can't help myself. I'm high on sugary fruit concoction and girl talk. Tomorrow is gonna be FUN!

The end

AN2: So this time it is really the end. I am NOT writing a sequel to this!

AN3: sorry for the childish bit at the end... I just couldn't help myself. Jane deserves some payback every now and then and I think locking him into a small room all by his lonesome would drive him up the walls (well as long as there isn't a disturbing smiley there to keep him busy that is); also I realize that there is some OOC'ness going on here... again I just couldn't help myself... not very Jello either, I just couldn't fit it in.

AN4: Repeat slowly after me: I am going to leave a review, I am going to leave a review *uses Jedi mind trick gesture*