Title: Breaking Chloe Sullivan
Summary: Her strength is intriguing him, her fire captivating him, but can she survive his interest? Lex decides it's time to find out, what exactly will it take to break Chloe Sullivan?
Shipping: Chlark Chlex mostly Chlark
Major Characters: Chloe Clark Lex
Author's Note: This chapter took longer than expected, although I wrote most of it at the same time. Hopefully it gives some answers to the questions the last chapter left you with.
Reviews:
scrawn: I know! They had such a great opportunity with the whole Chloe-Lois thing. Of course they couldn't do it though... Glad you like it! Keep reading!
CYTstagepenguin: Thanks! Yes Clark! I'm thinking I might make him a bit more mature than he was, maybe not so obtuse, it has been ten years after all. Hope you keep liking it!
Kit Merlot: Yes for the Chlois twist! Lol. So this chapter will answer some questions, but I warn you, it won't answer all of them. Keep reading for more answers of course.
Lvswtht: Ten years does leave a lot of questions. Chloe will answer some this chapter. I know, Lex does deserve some happiness, I think so too. These next few chapters will probably not have a lot of him in them though, just a warning.
Blackheart4life: I always love your reviews, they're so much fun to read. I'm glad you're liking everything so far, well kind of, lol. I'll see what I can do to make this a happy fic, but for awhile, it has to be sad, lol.
Previously:
Chloe
Searching for a moment, she tried to figure out where to start, with what she knew, or with what she didn't know. Her life had changed so much, so much had happened to her, so many things she didn't want him to know, things she didn't want to remember. Chloe took a breath, opening her mouth to tell Clark what he wanted to know so badly. If he hates me, then so be it. He wants to know, and I'm going to tell him.
Clark
All night he waited with questions burning in his stomach, and every time they came up he forced them back down, not wanting to dampen the easy atmosphere, not wanting to end her laughter. As she wrapped up her last story and the silence overtook them, Clark knew it was time. He didn't even know what to say, and he could feel all the hurt ready to spew out with his next words. All those years ago he hadn't realized how much he had needed her... until she was gone. I needed you so badly Chloe. Forcing back the lump in his throat, forcing control, he asked the question pounding in his heart. "Why did you leave me?"
Lex
After she had gone, it was as if all the light in his life had been replaced by darkness, all the good replaced with bad. It's your fault Lex, you couldn't save her. You did it to her in the first place. If you had any good in you, she would still be here, it's all your fault. He threw himself into his research and his work because it was the only way he knew to cope. It was the only thing that threw her memory, threw the pain back into that box in the corner of his heart where he kept it locked away.
Ch. 10 Not Enough Answers
"Before I tell you Clark, you have to understand, there are some things that I don't know. Things I don't remember." Things I don't want to remember. Things I can't and won't tell you. Her voice was shaking and she swallowed, trying to control herself. She sat facing him but wouldn't meet his eyes. Instead she stared a little off to the side, watching the sun disappear below the horizon.
"I know you discovered what Shaun had been doing, how he had been... hitting Claudia, and hitting me." Chloe glanced briefly at Clark for confirmation and the sympathy in his eyes made her want to scream. But she didn't. Instead she gripped the armrests on her chair until she thought they would draw blood from her palms.
"That last night, I was going to put a stop to it. I was going to bust up the ring of drug dealers giving him drugs and causing these problems. I went to their bar with a camera and a voice recorder, disguised as just another customer. It was supposed to be a simple job... but everything went wrong." God it all went so wrong... Chloe felt tears prick her eyes and bit down on her tongue until she tasted blood. You will not cry Sullivan.
"I got caught and I got hit over the head with something..." She paused, choking back all the things she couldn't tell him. And then Chloe bit her lip, because this was going to be the hard part. This would be the part he wouldn't believe, the part she couldn't believe herself. Memories washed over her and she started to tremble. Willing herself not to fall apart, Chloe took a breath and continued.
"When I woke up I was in an alley in downtown Metropolis... and over a year had passed." Now she met his eyes, and she saw the disbelief, the skepticism that she had feared. Clark opened his mouth to say something, probably to ask her what the hell she was talking about, to ask how that was possible. But Chloe held her hand up, because now that she had started to tell her story, she couldn't stop. The rest of it just spilled out of her, and she felt everything all over again. The fear, the desperation, the loneliness... and then the determination.
And she told him about living homeless on the streets, about finding a job waiting tables. She told him about her first one room apartment and how she saved and saved. Never meeting his eyes, and clasping her hands together in her lap, she told him about earning her GED and then getting a scholarship to Metropolis University. Working nights and going to school during the day, she had struggled through those years. But it had been worth it. Finally she told him about her first job at the Daily Planet and how she had worked, moving up through the jobs, through the floors, until one year ago she had been given her spot as a reporter.
When she finished she shivered, realizing the temperature had dropped, falling with the setting of the sun. There was still so much she hadn't told him, and she held her tongue as all those secrets threatened to spill out. Meeting his eyes then was one of the most difficult things she'd ever done, but she did. And when she did she had to look away. She had to get up and go back inside, leaving him out there by himself to think things over.
Because beneath all of the sympathy, all of the concern and worry there was something else hidden in those blue eyes. It had burned so brightly she couldn't bear to look at it. He was angry. He has a right to be doesn't he? It was a lot to take in, the story she had told him. Maybe he'll leave now, maybe he'll need time to process it all. But as she leaned against the counter and tried to slow her pounding heart, Chloe knew from the anger in his eyes that Clark hadn't gotten all of the answers he'd wanted.
It was just that Chloe couldn't tell him all of it, she couldn't. Still, as hard as it was for her to come to terms with that missing year of her life, Chloe knew she couldn't go digging for the answers to all her questions. Because then he would come back... This time the shiver running down her spine had nothing to do with the cool night air. And she could feel his hands on her arms, and his breath on her neck and he was back. Racing to the bathroom, Chloe flipped on the light and made it to the toilet just in time as her dinner made a return appearance.
She knelt on the floor, trying to catch her breath. Twice in one day Chloe? Standing on shaky legs, Chloe flushed the toilet and reached to shut the door. First she blew her nose several times, because she couldn't stand to have that smell remain there. Then Chloe brushed her teeth, because she couldn't take the acid taste in her mouth, and finally she retreated back into that years old routine of splashing cold water on her face.
When she could stand to look at herself in the mirror Chloe grimaced. She grabbed a hairbrush and got out her makeup bag. You can't look like this right now Chloe, you need to look strong and put together. As she ran a brush through her dark hair, another thought crept up on her. Come on Chloe, you remember how you used to change outfits and hairstyles ten times before meeting with Clark, you just want to impress him. Chloe laughed cynically at herself as she checked her reflection one last time. Chloe girl when will you learn? That boy will never notice you, not like you want him to. Straightening her spine and squaring her shoulders, Chloe opened the door, prepared to face whatever Clark threw at her.
Clark was still sitting on the balcony, trying to take in everything that she had told him. He hadn't moved a muscle since she'd gone back inside. His eyes had lost focus and he couldn't hear anything. At first his mind had been going in so many different directions at once that he hadn't been able to focus on one question long enough to actually ask it. All the things that had happened to her, all that she'd been through, that was enough to occupy his mind. Only half of him had heard her story as he'd sat there.
The rest of him was watching her. He'd watched as her muscles had clenched and he'd watched as she'd have to take deep breaths before continuing. Emotions had run rampant across her pretty features as he'd sat there watching. There had been so much pain, until it was all he could do not to go to her, not to hold her in his arms. He'd wanted to let her know that he was here, and that he wasn't going anywhere. But as she had kept talking he'd realized she was telling this story as much to herself as to him, and he couldn't interrupt her, scared that she'd never finish.
There had been times when he'd heard a hardness in her tone that he didn't recognize, a bitterness. And he had worried that this woman before him was no longer the Chloe he had known. But then there had been the moments, although they had been few and far between, when he had glimpsed the strong, good-hearted and bright person he'd known back in Smallville. The one who could always make me feel better.
He couldn't stop the turmoil of emotions that raged through him as she'd told her story and then after. But he could focus on a few. At first it had been worry, and it had been sympathy. However, the longer he sat there, the more those faded into the background. Because now there was disbelief and there was anger. And he latched onto it, because it was the easiest emotion for him to deal with, the easiest one to comprehend and use to decide what he would do next. A missing year? Even after all the things we saw back in Smallville Chloe, do you really expect me to believe that? His hands clenched into fists as he thought back to that year, that year he had spent searching for her, the worst year of his life. Why the hell didn't she come back? Why did she stay in Metropolis? We were all there waiting for her... I was waiting!
When he finally stood to his feet, Clark turned back to the apartment and went inside, slowly shutting the door. His movements were controlled, because if he didn't keep them in check, Clark felt as if he might punch through a couple walls. Chloe was watching him from across the room, he could feel her eyes on him, he could feel her presence, almost overwhelming him.
Turning to meet her gaze, Clark saw that she wasn't going to be the first to speak. Clark knew he should say he was sorry for all that she'd been through, all that she'd endured. But he wasn't sure he could, and more than that, he didn't think that was what she wanted to hear. From the tilt of her chin to her arms crossed tightly across her chest to her legs, one braced straight and the other at an angle, cocking one hip to the side, everything he saw told Clark that she didn't want sympathy from him. This he had expected, because this was the Chloe he had known.
It was her eyes that were driving him crazy. They dared him to say the wrong thing, dared him to judge her. But more than that, it was as if she was welcoming it, because she wanted the fight. The longer they both stared in silence, the more the tension grew. Clark knew he had to say something, but now he was angry. A part of him knew a fight would be the wrong thing, but he was so angry. And damnit Chloe, you're asking for it!
"Why didn't you come back?" It was the question burning up his insides, and it had been ever since he'd realized it was her in that Daily Planet office. Clark prided himself on how controlled his voice sounded. He'd asked as though it was just a simple question, and even though he had searched for it, Clark heard no anger or hurt in his tone. He watched as Chloe stiffened, and he took a step closer to her as she opened her mouth to answer.
"What did I have to go back to?" Clark blanched at her answer. How can she say that? He looked at her face, at her indifferent expression, and suddenly all that anger he had been holding back broke through his barrier.
"Your life Chloe! That's what! All the people you left behind! All the people who cared about you, all the people you let think you were dead!" He was yelling but he didn't care. Now he was across the room and he was in her face, wanting nothing more than to wipe that bored expression off her face. Apparently he had succeeded because she started yelling right back, her arms uncrossed and waving wildly.
"Oh come off it Clark! I don't need one of your lectures!" He opened his mouth to defend himself but she wasn't finished yet. "I had no life in that God-forsaken fucked up excuse for a town! Everyone was so wrapped up in their own tragic little lives they had no clue what was happening right underneath their noses! Yourself included Mr. High and Mighty!" Clark paused as this particular jab hit home and he tried to reach out to her.
"Chloe, I'm sorry-"
"Save it Clark! I don't want your pity." She practically spat the words at him and Clark grabbed her arms as she tried to walk past him. He shook her, not knowing how else to break through this wall she had up.
"Then what do you want Chloe! What the hell do you want from me?" All that met his question was a glare as she looked up at him.
"Clark, let me go." She bit out each word one at a time. Her tone was ice but he wasn't releasing her, not until she gave him an answer. He loosened his grip, but he didn't let her go. When he spoke his voice was controlled, barely holding back his rage.
"Not until you answer me." Jerking her arms out of his strong fingers, she clenched her fists at her sides. Clark felt the urge to step back as he met the fire in her eyes head on, but he wasn't backing down.
"I want you to get the hell out of my apartment." She didn't scream it, her tone was so low he almost didn't hear her. But the fury in her voice was enough to make him grimace at what had happened. Clark why are you fighting? He took a step back, prepared to apologize.
"Chloe can you just hang on a second?" His voice was laced with defeat and he took a deep breath, trying to decide what to say. But Chloe was already across the room, and she was turning the door knob. Clark took in her white knuckles and her clenched mouth but he didn't want to give up without a fight.
"Get. Out." She wasn't looking at him, wouldn't meet his eyes.
"I'm sorry Chloe, I didn't mean to yell at you. Can we-"
"Get out!" Her scream pierced through the apartment, and Clark almost jumped back at her outburst. But he headed for the door, watching her tremble in anger, her eyes livid. At the door he turned back to make one last attempt at an apology, but she shut the door in his face, and he heard the deadbolt ram home. The message was clear, she didn't want him here.
He was out of the building and across the street before he stopped and turned back. Frozen with indecision, Clark groaned, running a hand through his hair. Come on Superman, don't be a coward. How is it you face life and death every day and yet this one woman can scare you shitless? It had always been like that. Life and death he could deal with. Chloe was a different matter entirely.
"Damnit Chloe," he whispered under his breath. He remembered how her face had looked when he'd grabbed hold of her, shaking her. She always made him lose control, damnit he could have hurt her! How he must have looked, God what had she thought? You probably reminded her of Shaun you idiot. The decision was made then, and as he headed back up to her apartment, Clark almost felt as if he was walking to his own execution. His shoulders hunched and his head hung down, because he knew this was going to be hard. You made the mess, now you have to clean it up.
The second she twisted the deadbolt into place Chloe collapsed onto the floor, sliding down the door to lean her head against it and hug her knees to her chest. Sobs began to shake her, tears carved paths down her cheeks. She hit her head back against the door, desperate for some kind of reprieve as it became more difficult for her to draw breath.
"Damnit!" Chloe why did you let him get to you! She had thought she was prepared for him. But she'd forgotten how good he was at infuriating her beyond the point of her self control. Who the hell did he think he was? Coming in here and telling her what she should have done! Chloe forced herself to her feet, still refusing to wipe away her tears. It wasn't fair that he got to come back into her life and pretend he still knew anything about her. It wasn't fair that he could still bring out the weakness in her. It wasn't fair that he could still affect her this way. Since when has life been fair?
She went across to her balcony and slid open the door, stepping out into a cool breeze that raised goose bumps across her bare flesh. The metal balcony railing bit into her palms as she gripped it tightly, leaning out over the open air. God where does he get off assuming he knows anything! Chloe knew that what she'd told him barely scratched the surface of her nightmares. Her own cruel voice echoed in her ears, What did I have to go back to? Such a mean thing to say, so bitter and cold. Hurt. There had been hurt in his eyes when she'd posed the question. But she couldn't tell him the truth. The truth made her want to cry until she had no more tears. Made her want to scream until she could scream no more. Made her want to die rather than feel like she had felt then.
Knock knock.
Her breath caught in her throat and she couldn't believe it. He couldn't be back. It wasn't possible. Not so soon. She wasn't anywhere near ready to face him again. Taking a breath she waited, hoping she hadn't really heard him knocking.
Knock knock.
No such luck. Chloe went to the door, checking just to be sure. Fuck. It was him alright, and his pitiful sorrowful expression was enough to make her angry all over again. Because he was going to apologize and she didn't want to hear it. She didn't want him to apologize for actually feeling human emotions and getting upset. She didn't want him to apologize because she had made him actually feel something, even if it was only anger. And she didn't want him to say sorry for what she'd been through because he had no idea what had happened. Besides Chloe, it was your own damn fault.
"Clark leave me alone." Leaning her forehead against the door, Chloe finally reached up to wipe away her tears. Her voice reflected just how tired she was.
"Chloe let me in." His tone was just as tired as hers, but as Chloe looked at his face, the faint hope that he would actually leave started to fade away.
"Forget it. Get out of here."
"I'm not leaving until you let me in."
"Letting you in is the complete opposite of you leaving, letting someone in means you want them to stay." She watched as a faint grin curved his lips up at the corners.
"Chloe... come on." Damn that patience of his. She sighed, undoing the deadbolt and opening the door.
"My name is Lois, get used to using it Clark." Turning away from him, Chloe went to the fridge to get some more vodka. Now she was beyond caring if Clark saw her drink.
"Chloe-" She cut him off with her hand wrapped around the bottle and threatening to throw it.
"Clark either you call me Lois or you leave." Lois was strong. She didn't let people walk all over her. She hadn't had anything bad happen to her. She was right where she wanted to be. Lois wasn't falling apart. Chloe on the other hand... If he called her Lois she would stay in control. It was a role she had been playing for years, and it gave her comfort, gave her strength. He opened his mouth again and Chloe held her hand up, stopping him once more. "Second rule, if the word sorry ever leaves your lips, you're out of here."
"Come on Chlo- Lois. That's not fair." Chloe snorted, pouring herself a glass, this time taking the extra care to mix in a little cranberry juice.
"Don't talk to me about fair Clark, nothing's fair."
"Okay, okay fine. Answer my question then."
"Which one? As you may recall you asked several amidst the accusations you took the time to hurl at me." She took an evil selfish pleasure in the guilt that crossed his handsome features. Sipping her drink, Chloe leaned against the counter, watching Clark shift uncomfortably across from her. It was funny, in a sick sort of way, to watch him squirm like this.
"Let's start with why you didn't come back." Chloe rolled her eyes at his predictability, fully prepared to continue to avoid this question.
"I thought we covered that already? At the risk of repeating myself I'm going to tell you once again, there was nothing for me to go back to."
"I don't believe you really thought that." His answer was quick and Chloe immediately felt her anger returning.
"Oh so now you're a mind reader?"
"No..." Chloe watched him inhale and close his eyes, and it made her even angrier. He thought she was being unreasonable.
"Don't assume you know anything Clark, because you don't." He pounced on this as soon as she said it, leaning closer to her, excitement widening his eyes.
"Exactly! So why don't you tell me?"
"I am telling you Clark, you just refuse to listen!" Her glass was empty now, and it was sitting forgotten on the counter beside where her hands braced her as she leaned forward.
"You're not telling me anything!" The truth of his words hit home, but she wasn't giving in. He had no right to know, and she had no intention of telling him anything. "Why didn't you come back?" Chloe just stared at him, letting her stony silence answer for her. "Stop being scared, where is that fearless in-your-face Chloe I remember?" Chloe walked around the counter and stalked up to him until she was mere inches away. He wants in-your-face, then hell, I'll give it to him.
"I'm not scared Clark, but you are." She paused, letting this bit sink in before she went in for the kill. "Why don't you just admit it? You don't want to face the fact that I didn't want to go back to my life in Smallville. Want to know why? Because you can't deal with the guilt!" How's that for in-your-face Clark? Chloe knew that she would probably feel terrible for a very long time for what she was doing to him, but right now she was too pissed to care. "Guilt from realizing that my life in Smallville was hell and you didn't even notice much less do anything about it! And what did I tell you about calling me Chloe?" This last comment was thrown casually over her shoulder as she spun and began to walk away from him.
"You're right..." This admission of defeat shocked Chloe into turning back around and looking at him. Mistake. Immediately she felt as if she'd just kicked a puppy. Albeit an incredibly tall and good looking puppy... His head was hanging and his body was slumped against the counter. "You're right Chloe, I didn't notice." Don't give in Chloe, don't give in. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides. She wanted to go to him, to hug him and tell him that it was okay, that it wasn't his fault. "But I'm noticing now. So why don't you stop play-acting ice-queen-bitch and tell me why the hell you didn't come back?'
He caught her completely off guard and Chloe felt her mouth fall open. Since when does Clark Kent swear? He never talked like that, it just wasn't like him. She tried to say something in response, but for once words failed her. Somehow Mr. Oblivious, otherwise known as Clark Kent, had read her perfectly. That doesn't matter, hello Chloe react, he just called you a bitch. She turned around and went to open the door, with every intention of telling him she hoped it hit his ass on the way out.
"Chloe tell me why you didn't-"
"I did!" Her desperate scream echoed through the apartment, and then the silence became deafening. There wasn't a sound besides her own haggard breaths. Shit! Why'd you tell him Chloe? Clark's expression was so confused it would have been comical at another time. But not now. Not when he had torn this admission from her sealed lips.
"What? When?" Who what where when why... so many questions and not enough answers.
"When do you think Einstein! I came back as soon as I could catch a bus. I came back to your little town on Christmas morning. And it was like I was the fucking ghost of Christmas yet to come. Everyone was so damn happy!" And they were happy without me there! Chloe hadn't noticed the tears streaming down her face until she realized her vision was blurred.
"Don't even try to deny it Clark. You were with Lana and your family, happy as could be." She hadn't meant to say it with such bitterness. Because she wasn't this person, this hardened cold cynic reliving her jaded past.
"Now Chloe-"
"I even went to check in on Ally and Conner, make sure Claudia was okay... They were celebrating Shaun's six month AA chip." A sad smile graced her features as Chloe looked up at him. "Everyone was fine without me... better even. So I decided to start over." She shrugged her shoulders, wanting to look away from him but knowing she couldn't. If she looked away he'd think she regretted it. And she didn't. I don't! Clark squinted at her, as if trying to read her thoughts and Chloe lifted her chin, refusing to wipe away her tears.
"But Chloe didn't-"
"Lois Clark! Call me Lois." He couldn't act familiar with her now, Chloe thought she might fall apart if he did.
"Lois... didn't you miss us?" Yes... I missed Ally and I missed Connor and Claudia. I missed Lex... Chloe turned around and walked slowly to the door. She opened it and stood there, waiting. Clark hesitated before beginning to head over to where she was. As he passed her, Chloe met his gaze, unflinching.
"No Clark, I didn't." The hurt in his eyes was immediate and Chloe felt a knife twist in her heart. Because she didn't want to hurt him like this. But it had to be done. I have to do it Clark. Deep inside herself, she was pleading with him to understand. And then he walked out the door.
She shut it behind him, and the tears began fall so hard she was choking. She couldn't breathe. Sobs shook her so hard she thought they would rip her apart. But she didn't do what she wanted. She didn't throw open the door and run into his arms and tell him she was sorry. She didn't confess the truth to him. Instead Chloe covered her mouth with her hand, muffling the sound of her crying. And then she walked over to the kitchen to poor herself a drink. But as she picked up the glass, she couldn't do it. Because like it or not, Clark being here was changing her, and Chloe knew she couldn't drink herself into oblivion without hearing his voice reprimanding her. And she hated it because she knew he was right.
The glass shattering against the wall was a comforting sound. But even as she threw it, Chloe was already sliding down the counter to the floor. Drawing her knees up to her chest, Chloe wrapped her arms around them. Closing her eyes, Chloe rested her forehead on her knees. And she cried. She cried for what had happened, what he'd said, what she'd said. But mostly she cried for what she hadn't said. And she said it now, a whispered confession that Clark could never hear. It hurt for her to say it, even to herself. Because her heart ached with the feeling of it, the feeling of the truth, and the feeling of the emptiness it left.
"I missed you Clark. I missed you so much..."
Clark walked down the hallway to the elevator resisting the urge to turn back with every step. It had been so tempting, to go back and listen at the door, or look through it and just look at her. But he hadn't. Because as much as he wanted to see her, he couldn't bear to watch her cry. And as he fought back tears of his own, Clark tried to understand. Why would she say that? He couldn't bring himself to believe she hadn't missed anyone. Come on Clark, you just don't want to believe she didn't miss you.
As the elevator door shut, Clark tried to reason out why she would have done what she did. Because he couldn't accept what she'd said, he just couldn't. He wouldn't know what to do if it was, it was too hard to deal with. So he thought of scenarios that would have forced Chloe into running away. It must have something to do with that last night, the night she'd gone missing. And that missing year... Clark wondered if that had actually been the truth or if she'd been lying then as well. The moonlight hit him as he stepped outside and Clark stopped, frozen as he went back. Back to the night he'd learned he was an alien.
A part of him wanted to keep his encounter with Lana a secret. Because of the things she'd told him, confided in him. It just felt special, to have a secret like that, especially one that involved Lana. But another part of him needed to tell someone, just to make it feel real, and to puzzle out the mystery that was Lana with someone who would understand. So here he was, stretched out on a blanket and staring at the stars, at the moon.
"So Chloe, what do you think?" He propped himself up on one elbow, turning to look at her. Chloe took a second before responding, and Clark used the time to look at her. All bundled up to fend off the night chill of the crisp fall air, Chloe lay there just staring at the moon. Its light hitting her pale face made him want to never look away. It made him want to just sit here and wonder at the smoothness of her skin and the sparkle in her eye. The color was all washed out, everything somehow made more ethereal lit by the bluish-white light of the moon. Angels must look like this... It was a renegade thought, and it had no place in their conversation. Clark's inner argument was interrupted by Chloe suddenly turning toward him and taking up a similar position with her head resting on her hand.
"I think that you finally made some kind of a break through Clark. You talked to Lana Lang without making a complete fool of yourself. My only question is what are you going to do now?" Clark just looked at her, waiting for her to answer her own question, something she did quite frequently. "You need to continue developing a dialog with... Lana." Noticing the pause, Clark couldn't help but smile.
"Thank you for holding back on the pom-pom crack Chloe."
"Only for you Clark." A wide grin split her face and Clark thought for a moment that her smile was different in the moonlight. Everything was... It was different and yet the same. And Clark was noticing things. Like how her hair looked as soft as silk, and how her eyes held so many secrets. But it was her mouth that caught his interest and held it for far too long. Until she turned and looked back up at the moon.
"Have you ever really looked at the moon Clark?" Her voice was soft, like a whisper in the wind. It was mesmerizing as she went on. "And I mean really looked. Everyone always makes this big fuss about the sun, how sunsets and sunrises are so beautiful... But it's the moon that I like. How it hides, still there in the daylight, but it makes you look for it. And how it changes. Changes shape, and sometimes even goes away. I think the moon keeps secrets... Wondrous, glorious secrets that I want to know... It sees the worst parts of us you know, the parts we only show in the darkness. And yet it still comes back."
She pauses and Clark watches her smile softly up at the moon. Chloe might have been staring at the moon, but Clark couldn't take his eyes off of Chloe. "Sometimes I think it can help me discover secrets about myself, and then it goes away again. You never really think about how you miss the moon, until it's gone, and then you can't wait for it to light up your night sky again. The sun brings out so many flaws, but the moon... I've always wanted to absorb some of its light, because the moon makes everything beautiful."
"Yeah..." Clark said softly, not thinking. "It does." Chloe turned back to look at him and as their eyes met, he wanted to look away. Because he was saying things he shouldn't, thinking things he shouldn't, feeling things he shouldn't... But he didn't. Instead it was Chloe who looked away with a nervous laugh.
"Here I am spouting off about the moon and you're probably freezing in just that jacket."
"Nah, I'm okay." He really was, cold was one of those things he didn't really feel. Chloe started to get up and Clark stayed for a second, thinking. Could I tell Chloe? He told her everything else, he told her the things he didn't think Pete would understand. Why not trust her with the biggest secret of all?
"Clark you're such a guy, never able to subtract from your machoness by admitting that you're cold. Well I'm cold, let's go in and you can make me some hot chocolate." Clark just laughed, not even bothering to defend himself, and he grabbed the blanket as they headed back inside.
Clark turned back to look at Chloe's building, imagining it was actually her window he was looking at. And he imagined her sitting at her balcony, right now or last year, watching the moon. He pictured her watching the moon on that first night alone on the streets, and wondered if she still found beauty in it then, if she drew strength from the fact that it was still there. But more than that, Clark wondered if she laid there, cold and hungry and alone, and remembered that time with him.
I know I know, there was no Lex. But try as I might, he just didn't seem to belong in this chapter. So what did you think?