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Chapter 27-A Pamphlet for Everything

On Monday morning, the weather was nice and warm with just the hint of a gentle breeze. The sky was a brilliant shade of blue and the few clouds above looked as soft as candy floss. Bird song could be heard in the air and the brightly coloured flowers added their varying fragrances to the mix. In short, it looked beautiful outside. Too beautiful.

All through the night, the tears had hardly stopped falling from Kurt's tired eyes. He'd had to force himself out of bed extra early so he could spend more time using moisturizer and make-up to disguise the fact he'd been crying.

He'd also gone to the trouble of covering the now faint bruises that still stained his skin, a temporary souvenir from his attack. He only wished there was some form of make-up or lotion that could hide his bleeding heart. True, the organ was locked securely in his chest hidden away from the rest of the world, but Kurt could feel it aching. Things would be much easier if he could hide or heal his heart from himself.

As he drove to school, cursing the weather outside for mocking his miserable mood with its contradictory beauty, Kurt wondered what it would be like if he had someone else's heart for a day. Maybe it would be peaceful for a full twenty-four hours without all the angst that came with loving Noah. Of course, if a heart swap was possible, there was every chance Kurt's head would just take over the borrowed heart and make it love Noah too. That or Kurt would feel love for someone else, whoever the true owner of the loaned heart was in love with.

He suddenly had images of swapping hearts with Finn and being in love with Rachel for a day. He shuddered in disgust, almost hitting the curb as the nauseating thought stabbed at his mind.

His thoughts then turned to the idea of trading hearts with Noah for a day. That would certainly be an extraordinary experience, to feel what Noah felt, to understand what the Jewish boy's heart yearned for. Maybe he'd get an insight to how Noah truly felt for him.

It was all ridiculous of course. Heart transplants were limited to life and death situations with doctors, patients and hospitals, not teenage boys. Still, Kurt thought, if a patient had a heart transplant, that didn't mean they took on the love and feelings of the person who donated it to them. Did that mean that love and the heart were unconnected? Was love merely a disturbance of the mind, something that consumed one's thoughts and drove their heads insane?

Rolling his eyes at the turn his musings had taken, Kurt sternly whispered for himself to get a grip as he swerved into the McKinley High parking lot.

He stepped out and pulled his messenger bag up onto his shoulder, holding the strap tightly with one hand as he began the walk up to the school building. Keeping his head held high, Kurt walked amongst his peers, trying to act as though he didn't notice all of their eyes glued to him.

On stage, Kurt loved to be noticed. He was a performer at heart after all, of course he wanted to stand out from the crowd and have people's eyes fixated on him in admiration. In the land of the performing arts, Kurt thrived on attention. But the way people were staring at him now was not something he relished.

As he made his way through the corridor heading for his locker, people with whom he'd never spoken before stopped to enquire after his well being, acting as though they were his best friends and had cared about him all along. It made him angry, it made him sick.

Perhaps he should appreciate their concern, but he simply could not. He answered them all politely enough, thanked them graciously for their well wishes, but each smile was more fake than the last.

It felt invasive, the way they fussed over him, how they squeezed his shoulder, patted him on the back or pulled him into a brief hug. He didn't know these people and they didn't know him. He just wanted to attend his lessons as usual and have a normal school day. Being known as the 'gay kid from Glee club' was something he had long accepted. Being known as the 'gay kid who got queer bashed' was not something he ever wanted to accept or be remembered for. All he wanted was to forget it, forget what had happened to him, but they wouldn't let him. All these people crowding round him offering their support as they looked upon him with sympathetic eyes, they would never let him forget.

Inevitably, Kurt was ambushed by Jacob Ben-Israel. The gossip mongrel shoved his recording device in Kurt's face and fired questions at him about the attack, his stay in hospital, his relationship with Noah, whether he knew what bra-size Rachel was and so on and so forth.

Glaring at the bespectacled boy with the hideous clothing and ridiculous hair, Kurt remained tight-lipped, not giving Jacob a single answer. He was saved from his uncalled for interrogation by Rachel. She had to sacrifice her favorite gold star necklace in exchange for Jacob not running a story on Kurt and hand him her lipstick to get him to leave.

More than grateful, Kurt hugged the short Jewish girl and offered to buy her a new necklace and lipstick as a thank-you.

At lunchtime, Kurt caught up with Santana and asked her if she'd heard anything from Noah. She shook her head before rambling on about getting a detention just because she forced somebody's head down the toilet for making fun of Brittany.

He asked around the Glee club but nobody knew why Noah wasn't in school. They all asked if something had happened but Kurt merely shrugged their questions off and changed topic.

During his free period, he hunted the school for Claire. He waited outside her classroom then walked with her to her next class asking if she knew anything. She smiled at him gently as she softly explained that Noah had not been in touch with her. Once again, she told Kurt to just remember that Noah did love him.

Thanking her, Kurt left her at the door to her classroom before hurrying up the stairs to his own lesson. He entered the room a little late, something he'd usually be reprimanded for, but all of the staff seemed to be giving him special treatment. Apart from Coach Sylvester, she was as rude as ever when she bumped into him and ranted about the injustice of her Cheerios budget cuts because of the Glee club.

On the way to his final period, he happened across Sam. Catching sight of him, Kurt groaned before turning on his heels and walking the other way. However, Sam jogged after him and took hold of his hand.

"I've been calling you." The blonde said.

"Yes, I did notice." Kurt replied as he snatched his hand back. "And not once did you actually say anything. If you want to talk, I'll listen, but don't call me and just breathe down the phone at me. Not only is that incredibly annoying it's also pathetic and it borderlines on stalker territory so it had better end now."

"Or what?" Sam grumbled. "You'll get Puck to sort me out?" He jeered, snarling as he said Noah's name.

Without thinking, Kurt seized Sam by the collar of his shirt and shoved him hard against the wall.

"I may have got my sweet stylish ass kicked by a whole group of meatheads," Kurt said in a dangerously low voice that sounded strange and eerie even to himself. "But I am perfectly capable of sorting you out singlehandedly, so be smart for once and don't mess with me."

He let Sam go and took a step back, his hands on his hips and a fire of fury still burning in his eyes, ignited by all the stress that had been building up that day.

"What's your problem?" Sam asked. "I thought we were supposed to be friends."

"Friends don't call at all hours of the day without actually saying anything." Kurt pointed out to him. "Besides, with the disrespectful way you always talk about Noah, I'm not so sure I want you to be my friend. It would probably be better if you just stay out of my way."

"Why do you even care about that loser?" Sam asked. "He won't love you, not like I do. It's me you should be with."

"Get it through your bleached blonde head, Sam," Kurt sighed. "It's. Over. I'm. Not. Interested."

He turned to walk away but Sam followed straight after him.

"Hell no, it's not over till I say it's over." Sam growled as he snatched Kurt's arm in a painful grip, adding pressure to the bruises that were hidden beneath Kurt's shirt.

"Get off me!" Kurt warned as he hissed in pain.

This time, it was Sam who slammed Kurt against the wall.

"We belong together, Kurt." Sam told him. "You love me, I know you do."

He invaded Kurt's personal space, trying to steal a kiss, but Kurt refused his advances. He shoved Sam away, kneed him in the groin and punched him in the face. Kurt was fully prepared to unleash some of his frustration by beating Sam up some more, but staff and students filed out of the nearest classroom and Kurt was pulled away.

After Kurt and his classmates were dismissed from English class, Kurt headed to the other side of the building to meet Rachel so they could go to the mall and pick out a new necklace and lipstick.

On the way, he passed by Miss Pillsbury's office and spied the quirky redhead providing Sam with a pamphlet bearing the caption, 'SO YOU'VE BEEN DUMPED, CAN'T ACCEPT IT'S OVER AND ARE BEGINNING TO DISPLAY SIGNS OF STALKER-LIKE BEHAVIOUR, GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON YOU SICK PSYCHO FREAK!'

Walking on by, Kurt continued on his way to meet Rachel. Before they'd even reached the mall, Kurt was beginning to regret his insistence upon replacing the items she had handed over to Jacob. She was babbling on and on and he couldn't block her voice out. His head was pounding, how did her two dads put up with this on a daily basis? How did Finn put up with it?

Of course, Kurt thought as they linked arms and browsed through the jewelry shop, one of the good things about Rachel was that she was always too self-involved to pause and bombard Kurt with questions about how he was or how things were between him and Noah.

Normally, Kurt could shop for hours, but with Rachel constantly yapping in his ear, it turned out to be his shortest mall visit in history. As soon as Rachel was satisfied with a replacement necklace and had picked out a new lipstick, Kurt drove her home.

He heard his cell-phone beep with a new text message as he drove himself home but didn't read it until his car was parked safely in the driveway. Opening the text as he let himself into the house, Kurt found a message from Sam, the word 'sorry' typed over and over. With a roll of his eyes, he deleted the message. He simply wasn't in a forgiving mood.

His dad asked how his day was and Kurt listed off all the complaints as he joined his dad on the couch and they watched T.V together. For dinner, they feasted on Burt's specialty, pizza.

Nibbling on his second slice, Kurt carefully fixed his eyes on the television screen as he asked, in as casual a voice he could muster, if Noah had stopped by at all.

"Sorry, Kurt." Burt sighed. "Nothing."

"That's ok." Kurt replied. "I didn't expect him to show. Look, I just can't eat this. Pizza goes straight to the hips."

"You want me to fix you something else?" Burt asked as he watched Kurt get up and head towards his basement door.

"No thanks." Kurt answered. "I'm exhausted. I just need to sleep."

"Well goodnight then." Burt nodded.

"Goodnight, dad." Kurt returned. "I love you."

"You too, kid." Burt called after him as he headed down the stairs.

He'd been resting his head on the pillow staring up at the ceiling for about half an hour when he heard his dad's voice.

"Someone to see, Kurt." Burt yelled down to him.

Kurt let out a groan and pulled the covers over his face. The sound of nearing footsteps reached his ears, the sneakers squeaking a little. The bed dipped down a little with the added weight and the duvet was gently pulled off of his face.

"You're late." Kurt stated quietly as he looked up into Noah's chocolate eyes.

To Be Continued

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