View from a Pond

Chapter 3 – Payback Time! Three denizens of the deep decide that "too much is too much" at a certain Minnesota pond.

"Hey, George, gettin' to be about that time."

"Yup, twilight, time for the 'skeeters to come out. Yum!"

"And minnows, George. Don't forget the minnows."

"Yeah, over at the cabin. You game, Stanley? Let's go!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hey, hey, George, what's all the roiling water, here? What we got, a passel of muskrats?

"Don't think so, Stanley. I think it's...yeah... those two, swimmin'."

"Like, we swim?"

"Not quite, Stan. Actually, they're mostly standin' there, now."

"Goin' topside, George, to take a look myself...yup, it's them, George. Got a candle goin' on the bank, too."

"One of them citronellas, I'll bet. So...the minnows scared away, no 'skeeters, either."

"Guess we'll have to move on, huh, George? ... George?"

"Stanley, I'm thinkin' s'bout time we taught these guys a lesson. Our turf, right?"

"Right, George. But..."

"The way I see it, they're trespassing. We gotta give 'em the message, loud and clear."

"Like how, George?"

"Like, sweep some eelgrass 'cross their skin – give 'em the heebie jeebies. Then they leave."

"Hey, good idea, George."

(They make a quick foray to gather vegetation.)

"Mmmmphhh, gowta lowta hit in my mouf."

(George nods, his mouth full as well.) "Leph go!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Success, George?"

(George, returning from taking a look topside.) "Naw, not much. Heard her say something 'bout how 'sensuous' the water is, whatever that means."

"Guess it means she wasn't much scared."

"Yeah. I guess. You know, we gotta think of somethin' better. Let's see, now...leg hairs!"

"Leg hairs, George?"

"Gonna pull some leg hairs. That oughta do it!"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You okay, George?"

"Whew! Just barely, Stan, just barely. Took me a big mouthful, an' he started dancing all over the place, slapping the water and stuff! Almost stepped on me!"

"Ew, close call, George. They leavin' now?"

(George going topside again.) "Nope. Back at it again, starin' googly-eyed and doin' that kissin' stuff. Dang!"

"George, ya think it's time to get Pete to help out a little?"

"Uh-uh, Stan. We don't deal that low. No crayfish."

"Aw, George, don't be so bullheaded. Desperate times call for desperate stuff, you always say!"

"Okay, Stanley, okay. Pete! Pete the Pincher!"

(Pete appears from the nearby embankment.) "You talkin' to me, fishface?"

(Both George and Stanley recoil, scared. George speaks.) "Uh, yeah. We're askin' for a little favor...please."

"Favors I don't do. Contracts I do." (Pete rolls his eyeballs around a bit.) "So...what's in it for me?"

(George, gulping.) "We need you to give a little pinch to one of those people, there, 'n scare them the heck outta here!"

"Like I said, what's in it for me?" (Starts to blow bubbles, a sign of bad temper in a crayfish.)

(George, thinking fast.) "Well, see, Pete, we wuz thinkin', me n' Stan here, that there's no love lost between you and them..."

"You got that right, turtlehead. He keeps moving my rocks around, let's my 'stash' float away."

"Yeah, so, we were thinkin', like, Pete the Pincher, he's our man. If he can't do it, no one can!"

"Rah, rah, sis boom bah!" adds Stan, then, embarrassed, retreats a little.

"So, whataya say, Pete?" asks George, hopefully.

(Pete, thinking, waves his feelers around.) "I'll do it. Get him right in the ga-zowee-danga!"

"Ga-zowee-danga?" repeat George and Stanley, in unision.

"Yeah," said Pete, waving his feelers and smirking. "Right in the..." George and Stanley flip backward, barely escaping a claw... "elbow! Heh, heh, heh."

(George speaking, greatly relieved.) "Gee, thanks, Pete, thanks a lot. Like, anytime you need a favor, just ask us, me and Stan."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just watch a pro at work, frogface. Keep outta my way, though."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"George, what's goin' on?"

(George, quickly returning from topside.) "A whole lot, Stan, a whole lot!"

"George, if fish could grin, I'd say you're doin' it!"

"All heck is breaking loose! All kinds of thrashing about, shoutin' an'...I'm tellin' you, it worked! It worked!

"What's he yellin,' George? I know he's yellin', but I can't quite make out..."

"Sounds like 'Son of a perch!' to me, Stan."

(Stan, indignant.) "Whatever's happenin', serves 'em right, swearing like that!"

"They're both leavin'! We did it, we did it, Stan!"

"Us n' Pete, George, don't forget Pete."

"Right you are, ol' buddy, ol' pal. Just one thing left to do..." (George flips himself up onto the embankment, over to the still-burning candle, then snuffs it out with his wet side. Flips back into the water.) "Okay, nada left to do. Mission accomplished!"

(They slowly swim away.) "Believe it or not, George, what with all the excitement, I'm not even hungry anymore."

"Yeah, I know what ya mean, Stan."

"Ya know, George, there's just one thing that has me a little puzzled about tonight."

"Yeah, Stanley?"

"Why a little nip on an elbow would hurt that much!"