Chronicles of Chuck Bass
"Chapter Three"
Six days after Chuck's offer and Blair still hadn't made a decision. She had spent most of that time collecting all the recent articles about him ax she could. Most of them had been sketchy, including the one that had appeared in Newsweek four months ago, when Chuck had made news as the first person to ever reach the status of Bart Bass in business while since Bart Bass was in office. He had so much heat on him in these articles and she wasn't even there to help him though it. No he chose this for himself so of course there was nothing that Blair could do or say to him.
She was proud of the accomplishments that Chuck had made in his life, don't get her wrong but she didn't fit into those dreams and stories he had. A part of her knew she and Chuck had wanted different things while they had been married: He wanted his career and she had wanted his baby. And neither had been willing to compromise. The only place they had compromised had been in the bedroom, giving in to each other's demands, wants and desires.
She stood and walked over to the window. She had converted an empty bedroom into an office where she had did most of her writing. Presently, she was working on a piece for Vague magazine for fashion week one of her most favorite articles to write each year.
Without realizing she was doing it, Blair gently touched the windowpane. She remember a day that was very similar to this one, when she stood by a window watched as Chuck had loaded the last of this times into the limo. It had been the last day they had spent together under the same roof as man and wife.
She would never forget the day she had asked Chuck for a divorce, she slowly removed her hand from the window and place it on her waist as her mind relived that day, that whole year of hell without him.
"What do you mean you want a divorce?" Chuck paused from placing the folders in his briefcase long enough to actually ask her a question, this was the most they've talked in weeks.
"I mean just what I said, Chuck. I'm going to file for a divorce. We no longer have a marriage. You spend more time at the office than you do here. We never spend any time together and I'm tried of it."
He slammed his briefcase shut. "You're tired of it! How in the hell are we supposed to eat around here? How are the bills supposed to be paid? Most women would want their husbands working hard each and every day to take care of those things. They sure as hell wouldn't be standing around whining about it."
Blair shook her head. "You just don't see it, do you?"
"All I see is a woman used to being pampered by her father and mother and anyone else that would give her attention who now wants to be pampered by her husband. Well, I think there are more important things to do than spend my time pampering you, like putting food on the table and making sure that we keep a roof over out heads. That's why I work as hard as I do, Blair, so we can have those things we want. I want you taken care of."
"No, that's not it Chuck. And it's not like I don't have a job, because I do. You work as hard as you do for your own satisfaction. I want a husband who will spend time with me; a person who is my friend as well as my lover. I don't have to have a husband with a prestigious career and a welling-thought-of position, or someone making over a hundred thousand a year. All I want is someone who I can talk to, someone I can see and spend time with."
Tears filled her eyes. "You don't love me, Chuck. You love whatever it is you're trying to achieve. We have different goals in life; different needs are different dreams. I don't need the huge mansion on the hill, the Mercedes in the driveway or the bank account that's overflowing with money. All I need is a husband who loves me."
"I do love you, Blair."
"No, you don't, Chuck. At least you don't love me as much as I love you anymore and I can't take it any longer. Just give me a divorce so I can get on with my life and you can get on with yours. And I hope that the two of us can remain friends at least."
She had waited, had hoped and prayed that he would cross the room and take her in his arms and tell her that he did love her as much as she loved him and that he didn't want a divorce…but he never did. Instead he just stood there looking at her for a long moment before walking over to the closet to begin packing his things. An hour later he had walking out the door without looking back. Blair had stared out the window long enough to know he wasn't coming back and that's when she broke down.
She could hear the conversation with her mother about this, she could hear it loud and clear as she sat on the couch staring at the outside world in her pajamas. You failed as my child and you failed to please your husband I'm completely disappointed. Blair wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there, eating and staring until days turned into week and weeks turned into months.
Until one night she found herself attacking the kitchen, eating everything she could get her hands on. The phone would ring, she didn't answer she was too busy eating.
She had promised Chuck when they got serious that she would stop making herself sick, that she would stop forcing herself to throw up but this was all her fault and she didn't know what to do but this was something she could control.
One night triggered it all, she had polished off her dad's famous apple pie, she didn't notice the time flying by and Thanksgiving was already upon her. She hadn't talked to anyone but when her father showed up to take her to his home she refused and demanded him to leave his apple pie….which he did.
She found herself in her bathroom, hair surrounding her face as she clung onto the toilet for dear life. She felt dizzy as if her body was telling her that she needed to stop right now but she couldn't, she continued her finger lingering in her throat feeling the food coming back up. Closing her eyes, she felt herself fall backwards onto the hard floor below her. She was sure her life was over, but she was the one that demanded the divorce - so why was this affecting her so much. Feeling more of the contents of her stomach coming up she moved back to the toilet before not seeing something she had been eating. Her eyes widened as blood seemed to be seeping through her mouth. She felt tears working up in her eyes before she started to scream as loud as she could.
She quickly grabbed the handle to flush the toilet but the content wasn't going down, it was coming up like she had made it come from her body. Her screamed started to come as sobbed, as she coughed covering her mouth with hand but it wasn't working at all, all she could see was crimson red dripping from her fingers, water coming up from the toilet bowl flooding all over the bathroom.
She cried, trying to grab onto the sick pulling herself up but slipping as the water behind her became too much for her. She screamed, her forehead hitting the counter as she feel to the ground with a loud thump. Staring at the ceiling, all she could see was the ceiling glowing of white lights feeling her eyes, all she could do was smile before the room became dimmer.
"Blair are you here?" She heard someone call, but she couldn't scream to them, not right now her mouth was thubbing, her head was hot, her back was out of sorts and her stomach was betraying her.
"Blair we know your - Blair!"
"Nate?"
She questioned before seeing his head pop into the dim light, she smiled weakly before feeling the water all around them, was she at a beach? No the sun would feel fantastic against her skin.
"What the hell Blair, we've got to get you to a hospital."
"Nate, My throat hurts."
"It's okay Blair we'll get you out of here."
"You're a nice friend, you wouldn't leave me. Don't tell Chuck…."
He was silent or at least from what she knew of since the room went dark and all she could feel as the strong arms of Nate holding her moving her lightly until she could her the cries of Serena in the background. Then just then she felt completely guilty of the harm she was doing to herself.
After that long hospital stay, she found herself sitting in a room with someone else with a journal writing down everything she said - every single possible thought she had. When Nate and Serena left back to New York, she knew she was going to mess them but Serena promised to call and write whenever, which made Blair feel so much better.
"Blair, how are you feeling today?"
"Horrible…."
"Why?"
"You know why, you know everything don't you."
"I know nothing that you don't share."
"I'm fine."
"You've been thinking about him haven't you."
"No, I hate Chuck Bass."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm pretty damn sure, I hate Chuck Bass."
She could deny her love all she wanted to for Chuck but everyone knew. He was everywhere, in the papers, on the news. She couldn't relax and just watch a movie or television without getting thoughts of Chuck running through her head. She was right, what she did to herself was all on her, but Chuck was the main focus of this, he did this to her, he ruined her for good this time.
"What are you thinking Blair?"
"I love Chuck Bass."
And after saying that Blair knew these sessions where off, this was all that she was trying to get out of Blair she wanted her to stay out of denial and understand that she didn't hate him, she loved him more than anything. He had given her the baby she wanted, but she ruined that by harming herself and miscarrying it. Blair could no longer feel sorry for herself anymore, after this day - this was a new Blair.
Blair blinked back the tears forming when the sound of a car horn broke into her thoughts. She drew a deep, shuddering breath and slowly went back to her desk. Anything and everything that she and Chuck had ever shard was now in the past. They had been divorced for almost two years and the only thing they now shard was a friendship (barely even that)…and now possible a business deal if she agreed to it. He had asked that she give him an answer within a week and time was running out. She hadn't seen or heard from him since that night but knew he was still in town, and could only assume he was staying out of at his townhouse. She gazed at the piece of paper he had given her at dinner that night, which contained the phone number where he could be reached. Before she could change her mind she picked up the phone and began to dial.
"Hello, you've reached Chuck Bass."
Gina felt ever muscle in her stomach constrict at the sound of Chuck's voice. She thought it was everything a male voice should be - deep, throaty and seductive. She couldn't help remembering that same voice whispering sensuous and sexy words in her ears while he made love to her. She closed her eyes briefly as the impact of those memories swept over her like a warm silken caress.
"Hello."
She blinked her eyes, coming back into awareness when she realized she hadn't responded to his first greeting. "Hello, Chuck. This was Blair."
Chuck silently sighed and allowed himself a moment of profound thanks. At least she had called. When days passed and he hadn't heard from her, he had gotten worried that maybe she would not accept his offer. Even now he still wasn't sure she would. "Yes, Blair?" he asked softly.
"About your offer fro me to do the interview."
He swallowed hard and tried not to sound too anxious which wasn't hard at all for him. "Yes, What about it? Are you still interested?"
Chuck's gut twisted at the brief pause…and then she said. "Yes, I'm interested. I would love to do it and want to thank you for giving me this opportunity."
Chuck felt the tension in his shoulders ease and let out a deep, ragged breath or relief…and of thanks. "It's my pleasure, Blair." he said huskily. And, he thought, I can guarantee you that in the end it will be your pleasure as well. You can count on it.