Clarisse put her head onto Josef´s shoulder and closed her eyes, relaxing into his arms as they swayed to the soft music filling the candle lit room.
Josef had made good on his promise and asked her to dance right after dinner, making her laugh as he led her around the room, trying to avoid the furniture, now that the music had changed to a slower tune and he was holding her close to him so tenderly he was almost making her cry.
Clarisse felt Josef´s arms tighten around her, it was a possessive gesture and if it had been anyone else she would have hated it, with Josef it made her feel safe and loved and she snuggled closer to him, smiling against his chest when she felt his lips brush against her temple.
"It seems to be true what they say about Paris being the city of love" he whispered, making her look up at him in surprise.
"What makes you say that?"
The room was bathed in moonlight and she could make out the warm smile on his face as he replied "You told me you love me and I find myself in the need to tell you that I do love you too, however much I wish it wasn´t so."
His lips were warm on her´s, gentle, he was kissing her without any pressure and yet it was the most passionate, consuming kiss Clarisse had ever experienced in her life.
She responded instantly, kissing him back with the same intensity while pressing herself closer to his chest.
"Clarisse-" he whispered against her lips and she looked up into his eyes, feeling his racing heartbeat against her chest.
"Tell me this ins´t just a game."
She should have felt triumph now, she had him exactly where she had wanted him and yet there was no trace of satisfaction about this, instead she felt spellbound by the desperation in his eyes, the intensity in his voice, the possessiveness of his hold on her.
"It is not- I love you, Josef."
His lips met her´s again, the sweetness torturing her soul, what agony was this, she had had no idea but she was learning quickly as she surrendered to his passion, giving herself up to someone for the first time and it felt glorious.
He picked her up and carried her over to the bed, laying her down so carefully it brought tears to her eyes.
Stretching out next to her he pulled her close to him, his lips brushing against her temple as he whispered "I want to show you what it means to make love- what you have done up to now wasn´t the same."
She didn´t reply, she was believing him, up to now sexual relationships had been about playing the game of seduction and getting satisfaction out of it, with Josef it wouldn´t be like that, it would be about expressing their feelings for each other in a physical way, to be close to each other, to give rather than to take.
His fingertips were lightly stroking her cheek while his lips covered her´s, he took his time kissing her and Clarisse relaxed into the sensation, her arms wrapping around his shoulders to pull him closer to her.
His weight settled comfortably on her body and she sighed contentedly, she had craved this moment so much, it seemed like a life time ago when she had first realized that her interest in Josef wasn´t a purely physical one.
He undressed her slowly, taking his time to kiss her exposed skin, all the while whispering to her how beautiful and desirable she was and how much he wanted her, that he loved her and he would do whatever he could to make her happy.
She listened to the sweet words, half disbelieving that she was falling for them, how could he mean all this, she had heard it all before and it had been nothing but lies- and yet she couldn´t help but trust him, open up to him and for the first time she gave not only her body but also her soul.
---
Their love making was bitter sweet, both of them knowing that there was no chance for them to declare their love openly with her being married to the king and mother of his heirs, he being nothing but a servant in the world´s eye.
When it was over Clarisse started to cry, helplessly and desperately and Josef wrapped her into his arms, caressing her and whispering soothingly to her but he couldn´t think of anything that would truly comfort her, their love wasn´t allowed to be, however much they both wanted it.
The queen fell asleep, exhausted and despaired and Josef gently wiped the tears away from her cheeks before kissing her forehead and cradling her to him once more.
They would have to talk about this in the morning, even though it wouldn´t do much good, there was no solution to their special problem and they both knew it.
He watched the woman in his arms sleep, she looked young and fragile and sweet and Josef´s lips curved into a small smile when he thought how different she was from the imagine she presented at the moment.
He settled his head on the pillow and pulled the sheets a little higher around them, he needed to sleep, even if he would have preferred to just look at Clarisse for the rest of the night.
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