Chapter 3

I sit by your side in the darkened medical room. You're head rests against a well fluffed pillow. Temari had come in and fussed over you. The burns are minor, but the hit to my pride isn't. I am already slacking on my duty as bodyguard, I have already failed you. Yet you found it so important to shield me, when I would have easily given my life to ensure yours. That's my job after all.

Even in your sleep you don't look relaxed. I can't stop staring at you. Maybe a part of me is afraid to take my eyes off you. I feel so protective, and I am still worried that something else could happen tonight. You won't have much time to rest. Tomorrow you will have to talk to the Konoha diplomats. The work of a Kazekage cannot wait. Not that you will complain. You'll do your duties and maybe if you have spare time you'll recuperate from the hit.

I watch your face, and trail down to see the nasty burn on your arm. I reach out toward it but stop myself not wanting to hurt you. Instead I lay my hand over yours. You pull away slightly at fist but then relax as you open your eyes. A rush goes through me, and my breath catches. You look at me and turn your hand around to hold mine. I feel a little uncomfortable, this is not like you. I pull my hand away, I shouldn't have invaded your personal space to begin with.

"You do not have to stay awake all night."

"Yeah, I do." I reply simply, and a bit harshly. I try to give you a smile but I fail. I'm not in the mood to pretend. I'm frustrated and annoyed with myself and the man that made an attempt on your life.

"Tell me about your dreams." You say softly and lean back against the pillow again. I roll my eyes at you, but smile despite myself.

"Well I did have a dream last night. It was about a puppet, a new one for my collection. It was very vivid, and I believe I might actually try to model a puppet after the dream. I'll call it Salamander."

"Adding another puppet to your collection, you skills are improving." You seem proud and I wonder for the first time how our growing bond has affected your view of me.

"What made you decide to pick me to be your bodyguard?" I question.

You look at me for a moment, and barely smile. It's still hard for you to do so, and it always seems forced and never stays long.

"I want you and Temari by my side. You are the two people I trust the most, you are the two people that know me best. You, however, have been there to support me, to protect me. You have been by my side to listen to my dreams and my nightmares, and never once did you fear me."

"Temari doesn't fear you."

"No, but she doesn't understand me as well, I am still somewhat of a mystery to her. She tries to get me out of my shell, and so do you, but you are not disappointed when I am the way I am. Temari is disappointed, or maybe saddened by the fact that I still have such a low range of emotion. You know better, you know I have emotions, but they are buried, they are hard to express, and you don't expect me to express them."

I nod and you close your eyes. "You can stay up all night if you like, but we will have an early start tomorrow. I need to talk to the diplomats before they head back to Konoha."

With that you let your body rest though I know all too well that your mind never will. I can't help but stare at you, and if I'm honest with myself it's not all due to my protective mood. Now my eyes trail your features and I just can't help myself, though I don't know way. You look peaceful enough, and I let out a sigh.

I'm glad that you feel so confident about our relationship, confident that I understand you. I've been trying to understand you from the moment I stopped fearing you. The moment you met Naruto and changed, is the moment I became your brother and wanted to understand you. And the moment I understood you a little I wanted to support you. You never had much of a childhood and me and Temari weren't around to help you, and when we did come into the picture it was already too late. Now we are making up for it. Temari is still wary I can tell, it's not because she doesn't love you or doesn't want to understand you, she's just afraid you are miserable. She wants you to be happy, but you never smile so she thinks you're not. I see it differently though, I don't need to see you smile to see that you are happy.

I make myself comfortable in my chair and just watch you for a few minutes. Strange thoughts creep into my head as I watch you. They are familiar I have thought them before, but no less inappropriate. I find you beautiful even now with no alcohol to blame my thoughts on. I reach out for your hand and my skin tingles, I can't keep myself away. I shouldn't feel like this. But somehow all my pride well up in me when I see you and I want to be there for you. I want to protect you and watch your and admire you.

I shake my head. What's wrong with me, you're my brother. If I find you beautiful I am only admiring you, if my skin tingles when I touch you, it's only because we are family. It's nothing more. Or at least I tell myself this as I watch you rest.

I don't believe it, a part of me is actually scared that I'm noticing you too much. I'm scared that I'm so attached to you, and tonight's events have only showed me how much I care. How much I want to protect you. How much I would want to die for you.

I've never been a good brother until recently. Hell we didn't grow up together for most of your younger years. Dad hardly mentioned you and told us to keep away. We weren't a normal family, and that really affected you. You didn't have trust, you didn't have love and once we finally came together again it wasn't exactly a happy family reunion. Now we are a family, and now my feelings have grown beyond that. I notice you too much, and maybe it's because we didn't grow up together that I feel this way, but I still know it's wrong. I shouldn't find you this beautiful. I shouldn't be so protective and feel so devastated at the idea of losing you.

I stand by you as you go over your plan for incorporating Konoha's teaching methods in our training program. You hold your injured arm stiffly and with some discomfort, but you haven't once complained about it.

"Kazekage, we are sorry to hear about the attempt on your life. It's horrible that someone would use our presence to attempt something like that."

"Yes it is, but I knew Konoha would never attempt such a thing. Our relationship has grown too much in a favorable direction."

"That is true and we look forward to continuing that relationship."

"I know you will be heading home tomorrow, but I thought it a good idea if you partake in some more Suna traditions. I have arranged for us to see a puppet show."

I perk up at the news. That is something I wouldn't mind sitting through, it be more interesting than listening to polite political talk. The Konoha diplomats seemed just as delighted as me.

"You are a wonderful host Kazekage, we look forward to it." I smirk a little. Looks like you are already making good impressions on our allies. With final words of praise the two diplomats get up and take their leave. You go to the door connected to the meeting room that leads into your office, and of course I follow. I open the door for you and look around the room to make sure it's safe for you to enter. You sit down at your desk where there is already a pile of paperwork waiting for you.

"You don't mind accompanying me to the show, do you?"

I laugh a little, "Of course not. Besides I have to make sure you're alright. It's my job to follow you around. I think you are doing a good job at being the gracious host. I didn't know you had it in you."

"I've come to understand social interaction better, my skills will only improve during my time as Kazekage." You start in on your paperwork and I settle in to keep watch. I try to stop myself from looking at you too much, but I can't help myself. I feel a little guilty that I'm admiring you so much and you have no idea about these inappropriate feelings.

I hear footsteps approaching and inch loser to the main entrance of the office. When a knock sounds, you look up and call out, "Come in."

Temari pops in her head with an apologetic smile. "How's the arm?"

"It's fine." You say absentmindedly while still looking over paperwork.

Temari looks at me and gives a sad look. Again she is expecting too much out of Gaara. Of course he'll over look his discomfort for the sake of his work, and of course he isn't going to dwell on it. I simply smirk at her and shrug.

"I hear you're going out tonight. Are you sure you're up to it?"

"Yes." You nod

"No worries, Temari. I'll be there to keep an eye on him." I assure her though I say it in a joking manner.

Temari motions for me to come closer and I do. You glance at us but say nothing. I lean in as Temari whispers in my ear.

"Make sure he doesn't push himself, and maybe that he has a little fun too."

"Don't worry Temari, Gaara's strong. As for fun, how can you not have fun a puppet show?"

Temari laughs a little. "You would say that." She turns to you again and waves. "I'll see you later Gaara."

You nod your goodbye, and I take my post next to you.

"She is worried?" You question.

"Of course, but that's normal for any sister."