A/N: Ok, I am THE worst fan-fiction writer ever to walk this earth. I'm so sorry I abandoned this story and if you want me to shun myself from this site I will (hopefully after this chapter you'll forgive me :P). Enjoy. Again, I'm jumping around and hope that's ok. If it's not, just tell me and I'll stick to a set timeline.

Oh, and I didn't know what college Chuck was interested in, so I just said Dartmouth.

--

Present Day

Blair was happy. Well, somewhat. Actually, not at all. She had been learning to fake happiness since Chuck first cheated and now is completely unsure of what her real feelings are. She doesn't consider herself pathetic; she's simply a great actress.

Sitting at the dinner table, alone (again), Blair had time to think. Why did he cheat? was the central theme of her ponderings. Occasionally throughout the meal, she would remember a party she had to go to that weekend or that there was a sale at Barney's she had to attend, but, for the most part, it was about her husband.

And she hated herself (and him) for it.

--

Chuck was sad. By sad, he meant he wanted to bash his head against something hard, perhaps concrete. Why did I cheat? That sentence whirled in his mind as he was walking the illuminated streets of Manhattan. It was not that he did not love Blair; she was, maybe, the only woman he ever loved, besides his mother.

Chuck knew the answer to that question; he just wasn't able to grasp it. He longed for the sense of comfort, love. It's been almost six months since he felt Blair's touch. Chuck still prides himself as the person who took her virginity (but he never informs Blair about that). He still remembers that night. It's as vivid as if it happened just hours ago.

However, that wasn't the moment where Chuck fell in love with Blair. That happened later. How much later, Chuck was uncertain, but when he did fall in love, he made sure Blair would always be his.

--

10/9/11 – Blair's Dorm Room

"Tell me again, how did you get a single?"

Blair laughed. "I have my ways."

Chuck came to New Haven for a surprise visit to Blair. Sophomore year recently started, and for Chuck, that was reason to celebrate.

They had been sitting on Blair's bed, on their sides, talking. There was one lamp in the room, on Blair's side, giving her an almost angelic glow. Chuck was pleased. The two of them shared moments like this: laying there close, staring into the other's eyes, with no desire to speak. If you asked Chuck, these minutes have been spent having sex, or something to that effect. He feels if anyone knew about the time he consumed gazing at Blair, his reputation would be ruined. What Chuck didn't know, was, his reputation has already taken a hit just by being with Blair. Nevertheless, no one has the heart to tell him.

Blair noticed an invisible cowlick on Chuck's head and inched herself closer to mat it down. She kept her position. Their lips were centimeters apart (maybe three, Blair thought. She wasn't knowledgeable of the metric system that much).

Chuck's lips gliding next to hers interrupted her thoughts. It was a slow, deep kiss, one almost alien to Blair. It soon changed into a faster, more wanting gesture. Her hands tangled into his hair (now ruining what she first "fixed" before) and he positioned himself on top of her.

They were used to this. Chuck would visit Blair, or vise versa, and they would somehow end up sleeping together. Neither of them would not categorize it as a routine, exactly, just an event that happened every time they saw each other. Which is the real reason Blair wanted a single. Freshman year it was an embarrassing situation when Chuck visited. Her roommate, named Sophia, would awkwardly leave the room when Chuck came in. He wouldn't of minded if she stayed (which is why Blair absolutely did mind). Luckily for Chuck he got a single his first year. Blair wasn't sure if it was he replied early enough or sent a nice check with his letter.

Blair's shirt and pants were off now, and she was working on Chuck's. He kissed her eyes, her lips, her neck. She let out a sigh (one Chuck found irresistible) as she unbuttoned his shirt.

They had never said "I love you" at this point. When asked why by Sophia last year, Blair considered the reasons, then said, "Because, he's Chuck Bass." Sophia was confused, and shut up about the subject, which is what Blair was hoping for. She secretly wished every time they saw each other he would whisper those three words to her. She heard Nate say it, but it was forced and untrue. Blair was afraid to say them first; she thinks it may ruin a good thing.

Blair and Chuck were together now, Blair pulling on his hair and Chuck kissing her collarbone. She whimpered in his ear, her lipstick getting smudged. Right now, she could care less, but hours later, she would feel discomfited by her appearance. They both let out a final sound, and relaxed.

Chuck rested on top of her, his head on her chest. He swallowed.

"I love you."