Chapter Two - Rumor Report
"Maybe there's some kind of spell that can wake her up. Does anyone have any ideas?"
"Are you sure that's a good idea? I wouldn't take my chances, seeing as she's pr---"
"You can't just go around casting spells on people! Susan, please wake up; you're going to miss breakfast."
Sleep was blissful. Sleep left me unaware. I forgot when I was asleep; I didn't have to think, didn't have to worry. When I opened my eyes, I almost jumped a foot in the air. Six fellow Ravenclaws, some in my year, some younger, were circled around my bed, staring down at me in different levels of worry. One I recognized as Padma Patil, living up to her status as Prefect by trying to shoo everyone away. "There's nothing to see here, you all! Get to breakfast, now."
None of the girls moved. For a moment, I forgot who I was, before I flung myself out of bed and raced down the steps leading to the girl's dormitory. I made it to the lavatory just in time, seconds before last night's dinner came back up. My audience followed and watched me, silent as I rinsed out the sink. I felt terribly uncomfortable; what were they all looking at?
"So it's true, then?" a Fourth Year had the guts to ask. "You're having Cormac McLaggen's baby, are you?"
"Missy, you're not supposed to say it to her face!"
In the minute that had passed ever since I'd jumped out of bed, I'd still been half asleep, and now the events of yesterday all came at once. Oh, no! How could I have forgotten about the…the thing that was preparing to royally screw me over? I had hoped so badly it was just a dream, but apparently not. I really was pregnant. People like me didn't get pregnant. The thought seemed ridiculous.
I still couldn't get used to it. It was just awful. I wanted to run screaming down the corridors, but that would give people even more to talk about.
How did these girls know, anyway? I'd only told Cormac. He wouldn't sink that low, would he? Maybe he would. When I told him of the baby, I felt like I was talking to a stranger; he was less than pleased, and had left the infirmary with silence and a furious expression.
"Of course not," I replied.
They all left for breakfast after a while, leaving me to get dressed for the day when all I wanted to do was flop myself back into bed and sleep. As I slid on my glasses, I thought about what I was going to do now. I couldn't decide on whether or not I wanted to go to breakfast; how many other people knew about the baby? I'd probably be attacked with questions if I went. Plus, I still felt a little sick to my stomach, but I was absolutely starving at the same time. I decided to go; I'd just have to shove food down my throat as fast as I could and try to avoid people. The corridors were empty, with everyone either eating or preparing for class.
When I reached the Great Hall, I almost turned around and went back to my dormitory, but I trudged forward bravely. Of course, not everyone stopped talking, but when I walked in, there was a prominent silence. It was impossible not to notice the people pointing at me and whispering behind their hands. I briefly scaled the room for Cormac, but he was nowhere in sight. I didn't really want to talk to him anyway.
It felt like everyone knew my secret. They were all staring at my stomach, like they expected to see me turn into a balloon at any second. I was incredibly self-conscious as I sat down at the end of the Ravenclaw table, alone. I didn't want to face my friends now. I just wanted to eat and get out of here.
Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson were laughing at me from the Slytherin table, Pansy imitating a pregnant, clueless-looking woman. She acted like she was rocking an infant back and forth in her arms before she said something dumb and dropped the imaginary baby. I cast my eyes downward and nibbled on a piece of toast. Normally I would have gone over there and said something, but that was the last thing I wanted to do today. A body slid onto the bench next to me and I looked up to see the face of Katie Bell.
Katie and I went way back. We'd been inseparable since first year, and I practically lived at her house during the holidays. We were always together, supporting the other one if they happened to get themselves in a sticky situation.
I thought she was my best friend, but, as I soon found out, I was wrong.
"You wouldn't believe what I heard Romilda Vane say about you today!" she exclaimed. "She was running her fat mouth in the common room about how you're having Cormac's baby. I told her to shut her trap, but apparently she's been spreading that rumor all over school, because people have been asking me about it all morning. What a load of sh---"
"It's true," I whispered, as I was very aware of the people listening in on our conversation, but they heard anyway and leaned in closer towards me. "I found out yesterday. I'm six weeks along."
"Ha ha ha! That's a good joke, Suzer," replied Katie, using the nickname I'd had since I was a baby. "Anyway, as I was saying…"
"I'm not joking! I'm serious! Why on earth would I make this up?"
She just looked at me, scanning my face for any lies. Slowly it dawned on her, and her expression was horrified. "What have you done?"
"I don't know," I said, watching the mail owls fly in, trying to look anywhere but at Katie. She was making me feel like an idiot.
"You don't know? That much is obvious. Actually, I wouldn't say you know much of anything, seeing as you were dumb enough to get yourself in this situation. How are you going to support it? How will you get a job? Do you honestly think Cormac will stay with you? Because if so, I hope you're ready to be heartbroken." A Great Horned Owl landed on my plate, a small package and some parchment tied to his leg, and began to ravage my cup of water, sending droplets flying all over the place. "I can't believe you. I'm so disappointed…I - I can't do this."
She stood and turned towards the Gryffindor table. I hesitated for half a second, being showered with water, and followed her, stopping her in her tracks right before she sat down. "What are you doing, Katie? What do you mean, you can't do this? That's rich, really rich. You're not the one who has to…" I gestured towards my stomach. "I'm not asking for a miracle. All I want is for you to be here for me. Like friends do." My voice had raised significantly, and more people were staring than ever.
"I'm not your friend," Katie stated, and left me standing there in tears, wondering what, exactly, had just happened.
I went back to the Ravenclaw table and packed my stuff up as fast as I possibly could. The owl on my plate held out his leg in my direction, and I took the package and letter off before I bolted out of the Great Hall. After a while, I came across a familiar tapestry and slid behind it, into the hidden corridor that pretty much everyone used as a spot for their romantic rendezvous. I sat down and buried my head in my hands.
I hated this. I was sure I wasn't the only non-virgin in school; why, then, did it have to be me who had to go through this? Who had to get fat, and cry all the time, and be laughed at, and have all sorts of other horrible things happen? It wasn't fair. I did not want this thing inside of me, and neither did Cormac. Maybe I needed to talk to Madam Pomfrey about adoption…There was no point in me raising this if I wouldn't love it like someone else was.
And what was Katie's problem?
I sat there for a long time, feeling sorry for myself. I considered not going to class for the day; what was another screw-up? When I thought about it, however, I knew that would be stupid. I stood, determined; nothing, even a baby, could stop me from doing what I needed to get done.
The day just got worse. People seemed to have quite a fascination with my stomach. Some of them said hurtful words right to my face; most whispered behind me in class, "accidentally" just loud enough for me to hear. I ran into Cormac in Dense Against the Dark Arts, the only class I had with him. It wasn't like anyone was stupid enough to talk in Professor Snape's class, but it still hurt when I noticed his blatant disregard of my existence.
I ate alone for the entire day, finishing up my assignments during my free period, and retired to the library after lunch. Katie didn't have the patience to listen to my pleas, and I didn't have the patience to keep trying after the first failed attempt. When I finished dinner, I just wanted to go to sleep (even though it was just seven o' clock) and I wasn't even allowed that luxury when Professor McGonagall called me up to her office.
She looked down at me through the pair of spectacles perched on her nose. I always felt a bit unnerved around her; it was like she could see right through me. "Miss Wooding, Madam Pomfrey has alerted all of your teachers of your…situation."
Oh, now that was just great. I could only imagine the scene; the shocked gasps, the disbelieving murmurs as they came to the conclusion that their perfect little student wasn't so perfect after all. They probably all thought of me as trash now.
"If you wish to continue your education here at Hogwarts, you are allowed to do so. Madam Pomfrey has discussed your options with your professors, and if there is anything that may endanger the health of your…child - such as fumes in Potions class or species in Care of Magical Creatures or Herbology - you will do bookwork for the class on that day."
When I left her office, I was even angrier than I'd been when I'd entered it. Sure, the health of the baby mattered, but my education was important, too. How would I get anywhere without hands-on experience? Especially in Care of Magical Creatures; that really upset me. I'd always wanted to pursue a career as a Magical Creature Specialist - the equivalent of what Muggles would call a "veterplanarian" or whatever that silly word happened to be - and I would barely learn anything I didn't already know by looking at diagrams in a book.
As I dragged my exhausted feet up countless flights of stairs, with my bed in mind, I felt like crying, as I had been ever since I'd woken up. I kicked at an empty ink bottle and watched it shatter. This was officially the worst day of my life…so far.
This baby was already ruining everything I'd worked for, and I was only halfway through my first trimester. How was I going to survive if it just kept getting worse?