Author's Notes: Hey, readers! I am so, so sorry that I haven't updated in…well, forever! I've been super busy, but I'm sure you don't want to hear my excuses. Anyway, I hope you like this (kind of a filler) chapter and I assure you that the next one will take less time to post than this one! Also, I didn't know if there are showers in the dorm bathrooms, but I was re-reading OotP the other day and I saw that there are showers in the Quidditch locker rooms, so I went ahead and stuck them in there.
Chapter Five - Nighttime Chats With Loony
"No! Cormac! Stop it! What are you doing?!"
It didn't surprise me that Cormac leapt on Draco with fists rather than his wand; he'd always been the type to do so. I knew this because I'd broken up two fights involving him over the summer, and he hadn't used magic once during either. My only guess was that he found it to be more satisfying and an easier way to let out his anger, but why did he never realize that violence wasn't the answer?
Everything seemed to be happening very fast; Cormac's bunched hand landed squarely in the middle of Draco's stomach, and Draco recoiled immediately. My mind, on the other hand, seemed to be processing everything in slow motion; I was trying to pull out my wand, but it kept sliding out from between my sweaty fingers. There was a lot of yelling coming from between the boys, full of rude words and swears, and I couldn't think, couldn't do anything other than shout at them to stop.
Apparently my shrieks had caught the attention of several others; students were coming out of nowhere to see the fight unfolding. They crowded around, cheering at the top of their lungs. From somewhere amidst the sea of students came a louder, more authoritative voice, and Cormac was suddenly a foot away from Draco, struggling but apparently unable to move towards him.
"Would you care to explain what was going through your thick skill just now, Mr. McLaggen?" Professor Snape sneered, and my heart dropped; any punishment Cormac would face would be even worse if he was involved. "Come to my office right now. All of you. Yes, that includes you, Miss Wooding," he said as I tried to walk in the other direction without being noticed.
Professor Snape cleared a path in the crowd, both hands gripping tightly onto Draco and Cormac, which left me to straggle behind and try unsuccessfully to push my way through the whispering throng. There were so many people, and none of them would let me through. As I attempted to plow my way out, Millicent Bulstrode slammed my shoulder so hard with her own that I could feel the muscle protest, making me picture the huge bruise that would surely be there in the morning in disgust.
I had to jog a little to catch up with the offending party and Professor Snape when I finally got out of the people and down the steps to the sixth floor. I held onto Cormac. "You're going to get in so much trouble," I cried in what I thought was a quiet voice.
"Keep your mouth shut, Miss Wooding. Nobody would like to hear you whine."
I was silent for the rest of the seemingly endless trip, shot down by Professor Snape's words.
When we reached the classroom, I was, as usual, distracted by the terrible pictures of death, destruction, and violence on the walls. I stared at a man with bite marks all over his face and blood dripping from his forehead and shuddered. It occurred to me that I hated this room, like I hated so many other things these days.
When had I become so resentful?
"Miss Wooding, if you would pay attention," Professor Snape said, and I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him. "Tell me exactly what happened in the corridor between Draco Malfoy and Cormac McLaggen tonight. No, do not try and sugar-coat your little…boyfriend's part in the story, either."
How did he always know everything, and why did he have to pick on people so much? It was hardly fair. I'd always behaved in his classes. He had no reason to be so foul. "Well," I said, taking a deep breath, and I briefly glanced at Cormac, who was standing to the left of me. He stroked the small of my back with his fingers for a short moment, and I felt myself relax against his touch. "We - Cormac and I were walking - and then Draco referred to me as a…uh…rude word, and--"
"Why did he feel compelled to do so?"
"Cormac told him to -- okay, let me start from the beginning. Today, I didn't go to Potions because I was feeling unwell, so I went to class with the sixth years to make up what I'd missed. Whenever I wasn't looking, Draco would put random ingredients into my potion. It smelled bad, so I -- er -- got sick on him…Anyway, like I said, Cormac and I were walking around, and the three of us all ran into each other. Cormac was mad about the Potions thing, so he told Draco to stay away from me --"
"Dammit!" Cormac whispered, sinking into a chair, and I automatically felt guilty. But at the same time, I could get into a lot of trouble if I didn't tell the truth.
"--so I said if they didn't stop, I'd give them detention. Draco said I had no right to because I was a…W-H-O-R-E…and they started fighting."
Professor Snape stared at me from atop his nose for a long, long time. Finally, he said, "Go directly to your dormitory and nowhere else."
"Yes, sir."
I tripped over my shoes as I left, and was panting by the time I reached the top of the stairs. Things that were once so easy had become extremely difficult and tiring. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like when I actually had a belly to lug around. When I got into the common room, one or two people looked my way and began to gossip, but I doubted that word of the fight had gotten around yet.
It was still before eight o'clock, so most of the students were out and about, which meant I had the entire bathroom all to myself. I undressed quickly and stepped into the shower, jumping a bit when the scorching hot water hit my skin. But it felt good; it felt like it was rinsing away all of the various problems I'd run into today. I was in the shower for a long time, about an hour, making my hair into a faux mohawk with the shampoo and scrubbing at my face a trillion times. When I got out and slipped into a pair of sweatpants and my bathrobe, I felt new, clean, and warm. The feeling didn't last very long.
By now, most people were coming into the tower, but as it was still before curfew for fifth through seventh years, my dorm was mostly empty. I snuggled under the many covers on my bed and cracked open Your Guide to the Wild Ride of Pregnancy. Today marked the middle of my tenth week, so I read each word of the according chapter, feeling, as I always did whenever I thought about the pregnancy, really strange.
During your tenth week of pregnancy, your baby weighs five grams and now has very detailed features on his or her face…The baby's eyelids are opening and closing, and ears are beginning to form…with medical assistance, you can even hear their heartbeat…
As an avid reader, it didn't take me long to finish the chapter at all, and afterwards I stared at the canopy of my bed and thought about the bit about hearing the fetus's heartbeat. Madam Pomfrey probably knew how to do all that…and if not, she could refer me to someone who did. Did I really want to hear it, though? When I read or thought about this whole situation, it felt like it was happening to someone else. Most mothers would immediately go to a medic to listen, but I wasn't most mothers. Hearing the sound of the baby's life would make the alien being seem all too real.
I worked on my various assignments for a while, and by the time I decided to stop (all I had left was a Transfiguration essay that wasn't due for a week anyway), it was late and everyone else's lamps were off. I was the only one awake now, a situation I found myself in more and more lately. I'd gotten into a schedule where I'd nap immediately after dinner, which kept me awake too late afterwards. But I'd had a long day, starting with the Potions disaster and ending with this fight. I was exhausted.
I blew out the flame of my lamp and closed my eyes. And, of course, due to my luck, sleep did not come. I tried counting sheep, imagining fields with yellow flowers and blue skies, but none of it worked. Though I was so tired I felt like I could sleep forever, I couldn't do anything but stay awake.
The fight replayed again and again in my head, and I involuntarily let out a frustrated groan. Cormac was going to get into so much trouble; he'd be lucky if he wasn't expelled. He really needed to stop coming to false conclusions and trying to "fix" them without thinking anything through. I'd tried more than once to get him to control his anger, but it never worked. He couldn't ever be calm and rational, and he would have to face the consequences. I felt so embarrassed for him. He had a way of getting into things he shouldn't - like he was a magnet for trouble.
After about a thousand years (or so it felt like) of me getting more and more upset from the fact that I couldn't fall asleep, it occurred to me that I had to "go." Knowing I would never get any peace in this kind of situation, I shoved my glasses onto my face and stumbled towards the bathroom. And then, after I was done, I looked at my reflection in the full-body mirror and sighed.
I didn't really like what I saw.
My face was extraordinarily average; I had large hazel eyes and a nose that was a bit too narrow on top of lips that were a bit too full. My hair was an insane jungle of thousands and thousands of wild strawberry-blonde ringlets that fell almost down to my waist; in a strange occurrence, though, it wasn't pulled up into pigtails on each side of my head like normal. It might have been a childish hairstyle, but that was just how I always wore it - except for tonight. My thick, black-rimmed glasses sat on the bridge of my nose, which hosted a mass of freckles.
Then there was my body. At 5'10", I supposed I was tall; I was exactly four inches shorter than Cormac, anyway. Even before the pregnancy, I'd always been a little "top heavy," but now my chest had gone up several sizes and even with stretching charms my bras were struggling. I'd gotten a lot of comments and looks of distaste from the other girls about my chest, and all of them seemed to think I was sticking toilet tissue down my shirt. That made no sense; did they not realize this was a natural part of pregnancy?
Speaking of changes going on due to the baby, my stomach was not really showing yet. But I had noticed the smallest of differences in my abdomen. It was hard to explain, and I probably only saw them because I knew my body so well, but I knew, somehow, that my stomach was not quite as flat as it used to be. I wasn't sure if that was from all of the elaborate meals I'd been eating in the past few months or the fetus, though.
Very tentatively I reached with both hands towards my stomach, wanting to see if I could feel a change too, then stopped and let my arms drop to my sides. That was a stupid thought.
I knew I still wouldn't be able to get to sleep, so I crept into the dorm room as quietly as I could and grabbed my copy of You Should Really Take the Time to Read This Book if You Want to Be a Great Magizoologist. I thought I heard someone say my name and almost jumped out of my skin, but it was just Cho Chang mumbling in her sleep. I went into the common room and sat on a sofa near the fireplace, basking in the sudden warmth as I opened the book.
Jarvey - XXX
The Jarvey is a medium-sized creature that looks like the Muggle pet called a ferret. It is able to talk; however, it enjoys to argue and swear --
"Oh, you bought that book too? It's wonderful, isn't it? I personally think that it is much more informative than Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I especially liked the pages on the Yeti."
I jumped again, startled, and looked up. Loony - no, Luna - Lovegood was gazing at me from behind a brilliant, psychedelic pair of glasses, perched in an armchair, magazine between her hands. She smiled slightly when I saw her. "Oh, gosh, Luna, you scared me. Why are you in here? Why are you up so late?"
"For the same reason you are, I suppose." I just looked at her. "I'm not very tired, and a girl in my dormitory snores terribly loudly."
"Well - sure - I guess you could say that. I couldn't sleep, either. How long have you been down here?" It felt so weird to be talking to Luna Lovegood, but even weirder to be speaking with a girl who wasn't shooting me dirty looks. I could barely remember the last time that had happened.
"About an hour. I find it to be very relaxing, and I sometimes fall asleep in this chair. I come down here every night, actually, and it's very nice, but the Ferveneruos are somewhat distracting at times."
"The Fer…what?" I asked, confused. I'd never heard the word before.
"Ferveneruos. They're little insects that dance in fire. They're very pretty, but they talk a bit too much."
The word still was unfamiliar, and I doubted such creatures existed, but Luna could choose to believe whatever she wanted. There was silence for a moment, in which I considered Luna Lovegood, and I wondered if she thought the same terrible things about me that so many other girls did. I wanted to think that she didn't; if anyone, she was a person to understand what it was like to be judged. I'd seen and heard people make fun of her before, but she seemed so above it all, so…carefree. I wished I could be like her.
Me, wishing I could be like Luna Lovegood? What a crazy thing to think, but it was true, at least a little bit. I wanted to not care.
It was this train of thought that caused me to open my mouth once more and ask, "So, Luna, you take Care of Magical Creatures, right? I love that class." It was perhaps the boldest thing I'd done in weeks, but it was late and I was tired, and Luna was smiling, and it seemed like the only thing that I knew was that she wasn't angry at me for talking to her. This was a good thing.
And it was that night that started a rock-solid friendship, the beginning of a bond that was unbreakable, a duo like no other. While Luna and I discussed magical creatures late into the night, I felt so different. I felt so very liked. For those hours, as the sky grew black and the world was silent around us, I didn't worry about the baby, or Cormac, or Katie, or anyone. All that mattered was that I was having an interesting conversation with someone who enjoyed talking to me, someone who didn't curse or send me nasty looks or repeatedly point out the fact that I was pregnant.
I found a friend in Luna Lovegood that night, and it was the best thing to happen to me in what felt like forever.
Maybe I didn't have to avoid conversation with others. Maybe I didn't have to be hated by everyone.
Maybe I didn't have to be alone.