AN:

I really don't know how I feel about this chapter. However most of it rings true for me.

~Kelly~

Chapter Two: Almost Doesn't Count

Elizabeth hated sleeping alone. It was something of a shock when she recently discovered the fact. When she and Lucky had divorced, she had loved sleeping alone. It meant she was finally free from all her lies. However all that changed because of Nikolas. There was something about his strong arms holding her tight. It made her feel safe in a way she hadn't in years.

That's why she treasured their talk the other night. Elizabeth had never really talked about Zander before. She had never been with anyone secure enough to do so. Maybe that's why she was anxious. Jason was such a big part of her past she didn't want to hide that. In fact, she hoped talking about it would help her figure some things out.

"I didn't expect you to wait up for me." Nikolas said shedding his robe as he crossed the room. This was the second time Spencer had woken tonight and he had expected Elizabeth to already be asleep.

"I couldn't sleep without you."

He kissed her softly before joining her on the bed. One she was settled in her arms he said, "Hmm. I know that feeling. That's why I hate it when you work late."

"Thank you." Elizabeth said suddenly catching Nikolas by surprise.

"You don't have to thank me but since you did I'm curious as to what I did."

"Our talk the other night. It really meant a lot to me."

"Well than you're welcome because it meant a lot to me too."

"Enough for another one tonight?" she asked even though she knew Nikolas rarely denied her anything.

"Absolutely."

"Good. I... um... I wanted to talk about Jason. About why I snuck around with him."

"I thought it was because you loved him." Nikolas said after a moment of silence. Jason was one of the last people he wanted to talk about. However, he knew Elizabeth needed this from him.

"No not really." Elizabeth admitted, sighed, and continued. "He's Jake father and that will always mean something but I'm not sure I ever really loved him."

"I'm surprised to hear you say that."

"Not as surprised as I was to realize it. God Nikolas I spent a months begging for his attention. It was so humiliating."

"Then why do it? It doesn't make any sense especially if you didn't love him," he questioned gently. Nikolas had not known much of Elizabeth's relationship with Jason and he didn't want to. However, he could not help but be surprised by what she was saying.

"I think I was obsessed."

"With Jason?"

"Not Jason. The idea of stability."

Nikolas could not hold back a chuckle before saying. "Stability isn't something I associate with Jason."

"And that's the problem. I was so desperate for a stable home life for the boys I lost sight of that. I lost sight of a lot when it came to Jason."

"Hey we don't have to talk about this," he said seeing how much pain Elizabeth was in.

"I know but I think I need to."

"Only if you're sure."

"I am." she said firmly. "The reason why Jason and I couldn't work is we were never important to him. Don't get me wrong I know he cares about Jake but not nearly enough. Everyone else is more important to Jason. That's why I don't feel guilty about lying anymore. Jake would always be put last and that's a horrible way to grow up."

"I'm sorry you went through all that."

"Don't be Nikolas because I'm not."

"I don't understand. Jason hurt you so badly."

"Yeah he did but I needed closure. And that time it gave me that. I will never wonder about being with Jason or being a family with him because I know what that's like. Jason... he can never give me what I need."

"Good because he can't have you." Nikolas teased causing Elizabeth to giggle. Wanting to lighten the mood he said, "It was like that with Gia."

"How do you mean?"

"After we faked your death things between Gia and I changed. I didn't want to admit it at the time but we weren't us anymore. If that makes any sense at all."

"I understand what you mean. Why didn't you end things?"

He thought about the answer carefully and then said, "To be honest I'm not sure. Part of it was I fought so hard to be with her. I didn't want to look foolish."

"The Cassadine prince looking foolish? Never."

He shook his head in disagreement. Nikolas reluctantly admitted that he had done exactly that chasing after Elizabeth. "I'm glad you think so but we both know it's not true."

"Nikolas I never thought you were foolish." she said knowing where Nikolas's mind had drifted off to. He had done some crazy thing on order to convince her they belonged together.

"Yeah?"

"Out of your mind but never foolish." Elizabeth disagreed with a giggle. She couldn't help but tease Nikolas at times.

"Haha. Funny." he mumbled tugging her closer. Nikolas couldn't remember it being like this with anyone but Elizabeth. She brought out a part of him he wasn't sure existed.

"I thought so."

"Yeah I'll remember that the next time one of the boys has a nightmare."

She laughed before saying, "They like me better anyways."

"Is that so?" Nikolas asked pinning Elizabeth to the bed. Soon laughed filled the master bedroom of Wyndemere.