Becoming an adult Chapter 6: what if's and would haves, a gravitation fanfic

ok so here's the next chapter enjoy

Chapter 7: what ifs and would haves

sysysysysysysysysysysysysysys

Shuichi eased himself into bed that night wearing Yuki's button down. He looked at the picture of the two of them in the park and smiled. It was the only one he had kept in this room, the three other's he had and a copy of this one where hanging up in the nursery.

He missed having another body in bed next to him. He curled up more, a hand resting on his swollen stomach. He smiled feeling the baby kick against where his hand was resting.

"Hey, you it's sleep time. Not exercise time" Shuichi said looking at his stomach. She seemed to calm, and he smiled.

sysysysysysysysysysysysysysys

Yuki had made his way back to his bed, and had drifted in and out of sleep the rest of the night.

Around noon Mika and Tohma showed up. Mika sat down in the chair next to his bed, while Tohma remained standing.

"Eiri, how are you feeling?" Mika asked

"I'll be better when I am out of here and looking for Shuichi" he bit out

"Eiri, the boy is gone" Tohma said, "you need to move on"

"Tohma get out" Yuki growled at him, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Eiri..." Tohma started

"I said get out, I want to talk to my sister not you" He growled at him. Mika placed a hand on Tohma's arm motioning for him to leave the room. Once he was gone and the door was closed Yuki looked at Mika. She was probably the only person that could come close to understanding what he was feeling.

"Eiri...what's going on with you?" Mika asked, "And don't just tell me you're worried about Shuichi. I know it's more"

"I can hear her. When I'm a sleep all I dream about is her" He said softly

"Who?" Mika said her mind quickly going to their mother, Eiri had been very close with her before she died.

"My daughter...i don't even know if it's a girl. But, all I can think about is what is she going to look like? Is she gonna fit in in school? Will she excel in academics or have a musical talent?" He said looking at Mika. Mika looked down now, she knew the filling, she had miscarried 3 times now. And the would haves haunted her every time. Eiri knew he had a baby out there somewhere, he was haunted by the wills.

"It doesn't get any easier. I hear a kid laugh, or see one in the store with their mom. All I think off is what if. Yours is going to be harder, cause ever kid you see you're going to wonder if that is them." Mika said, "I know why you don't want to give up, bro. I'll help if I can" He nodded looking down at his lap. Mika stood and wrapped her arms around him. The brother and sister sat in silence like this for a good while before Tohma came back in. he cast Mika a questioning look, which she just shrugged it off.

sysysysysysysysysysysysysysys

Shuichi arrived at the book store at 9 that morning, and had been put on shelving. Right now he was in the romance section putting a box of Yuki's latest book on the selves. He had known his lover sold a lot of books but...this store had a whole row of selves just for his books.

"Shuichi, lets go get lunch" Sora said poking her head into the section giving him a smile. Shuichi looked at her then at his watch, it was already 2 in the afternoon.

"Sure" he said nodding putting the last of the books on the self.

"Pizza sound good?" she asked putting up the closed sign up.

"That sounds great" he said making sure his bag was on his shoulder. The two left walking down the street and talking about this or that. They found seats in the parlor and placed their orders.

"Tell me about him" she requested looking at Shuichi. He looked at her, and then down for a moment.

"He's not perfect...but he was to me. He could be mean and rude, but he was also gentle and caring. I think he would have made a great father...but he doesn't want kids." Shuichi said

"Why not talk to him. He might surprise you" she said softly, "If he loves you as much as I can see you love him. Then it wont matter, what he's said or done in the past, all that will matter to him is that you're with him. And the miracle you two have been given"

"I was a burden before, I'd be an even bigger one with a child" Shuichi said tears running down his face. Sora watched him sadly before moving over to sit next to him.

"Just think about what you're doing to him. I don't want you to be filled with What ifs." Sora said wrapping her arms around him as he cried.

Their pizza arrived not much later. Shuichi dried his eyes, as Sora moved back across the table. Shuichi took a piece, and pulled a little bag of chocolate puffs, and put them on the pizza. The craving should have gone away by now but, he still craved Yuki's favorite cereal. He wondered briefly if it would be her favorite cereal when she was older. A thought flashes through his mind of Yuki sitting at the table in the morning and a little blond baby sitting in a highchair next to him Chocolate puffs all over her tray.

Shuichi feels like crying again.

sysysysysysysysysysysysys

They finish lunch and head back. Once back Sora decided to teach Shuichi to do the check out. The costumers like Shuichi, and a few even tried to leave their numbers. Sora only laughed and shook her head. Once again she insisted on Shuichi staying for dinner.

sysysysysysysysysysysysys

Shuichi left their apartment, and went home. He almost went into to shock through when he saw someone leaning against the wall next to his door.

sysysysysysysysysysysysysys

ok so there it is. same deal as last time you guess who it is i'll put your name at the beginning of the next chapter