A/N: I'm BACK!!! :D Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, yes I'm excited....and happy! My computer is back and here is the next chapter! And its twice as long as normal! Don't worry, a new one will be up soon. I'm going to recap real quick whats going on since its been forever.
Tony and Ziva are working on trust issues after he killed rivkin and they rescued her (AU- did not happen like in the show). Their relationship is broken and while trying to repair it and get over the past, Ziva is shot twice on accident. One time by Tony's stray bullet. She is put on bed rest and Gibbs appoints Tony to be her "keeper" for six weeks. They argue and get along-all while fighting attraction to each other. Ziva reopens her wounds because she wouldn't listen and has her bed rest extended by a few more weeks. Lastly, they went to a wedding involving someone from Tony's PD days and at the end had a nice little dance.
This is where this chapter picks up from. Gotta Thank Lauren for the help she gave with this chapter because without her, I'd be stuck.
Song: Miley Cyrus "Bigger Than Us"
Ziva looked out the passenge rwindow in contemplation. After they'd gotten back from the wedding, th night had been uneventful. She really had enjoyed the dance and would have loved if it lasted longer. There was something about being in Tony's arms that made her feel...special. After thinking most of the night, she came to the conclusion that she wanted more out of their currently strained relationship than just friends (if that's what they ever were!). But he didn't seem willing to give it. If only he had kissed with Tony for a few more weeks. "Any ideas what you want to do for the remainder of our 'holiday'?" The word holiday had come our rather bitter...she knew she wasn't going to be able to stay around him for that long without either jumping his bones or shooting him. Something had to give.
I see your face, I look in your eyes,
Tony glance at her, seeing how depressed she looked. Poor Ziva. Then again... "As much as I want to sympathize with you about being stuck with me, I can't. You're the one that didn't listen, remember? Had to reopen your wounds...." Ok.. so that was harsh. He knew it, but sometimes she needed the "tough love" part of being friends- well partners...co workers? What the hell were they? Certianly not lovers.. though he would love to be that very thing to her.
Ziva glared at him. Yes, this was going to be a hard 2 weeks- which was when he went back to work. Not that she was counting. "If you would stop being an overbearing brother then we would not have had this problem." She knew she was only being rebellious. In all honesty, she really did want some fresh air but with Tony pretty much locking her in his apartment ( she needed fresh air on a daily basis!), she couldn't help but feel the need to defy him- just a bit. She wouldn't allow him to have control over her like that. Couldn't. She wasn't needy and didn't need to depend on anyone to help her. She'd been alone most of her life, having to take care of herself. It was hard to just....relax. Change who she was. Even if it was only for a few weeks!
A brother, huh? Oh well... "Overbearing? I'm trying to stop you from hurting yourself worse, Ziva. Which by the way, is something you don't seem to be worried about. Don't you want to come back to work? Or would you rather be stuck home all the time because you don't listen to me or the doctors when you're told to take it easy?" Tony shot back.
She noticed he didn't comment on her calling him a brother figure, which only served to upset her more. Apparently he didn't want more. "I can not 'take it easy' Tony! I have never had to 'take it easy'. I am sorry if I am not the type who likes to be caged up in a house with her coworker doing nothing all day! I need to do something. " He really wasn't helping matters. She really did loathe being unable to complete her daily rituals and her 5am runs.
He sighed, suddenly not wanting to argue. "I'm sorry, ok? I didn't know you felt that way... ok so I did. But not to that extent. I just care about you and I don't want your stitches to open again. That's all. If you think I'm overbearing, then so be it." He didn't add that it was his fault she was stuck like that in the first place or that he couldn't stand seeing her being limited to certain activities.
She was taken aback by his lack of argument. She furrowed her eyebrows before treading lightly, "You did not know. But now you do. Can we make an effort to work with each other? To try and understand one another?" What was this, a truce? Where did that come from? But then again, it couldn't hurt to have some sort of civil relationship with her partner for the remainder of their stay.
Tony sighed. "We tried that, remember? We've tried being civil. It worked until you went behind my back and ended up in the hospital after passing out on my kitchen floor," Tony said quietly. Not to mention it had scared the hell out of him. Why were they even talking about this? He couldn't trust her and Ziva wanted something he couldn't give. At least not right this minute because she had lied to him the first time. "We'll see. I guess I can have the door to your room put on again if you promise to not exercise and I promise to take you on daily walk. Will that do?" He just wanted her to be happy
"Do I really have a choice in the matter?" she huffed. She didn't need to be reminded of the way she had behaved before that earned her an extended stay at Tony's apartment. How could she go from hanging on his every word one minute to hating him the next? None of this made sense to her. However, she now knew how Tony felt about her. Completely platonic friends...if they could even be called that. Bitter coworkers was more fitting. They couldn't go even days without getting in a fight or arguing. How had she gotten herself into this mess? If only she didn't like him in the first place, none of this would have happened.
"Of course you have a choice. I'm not such a monster that I don't let you have a choice in anything, Ziva." Tony said as silence fell between them again. This was not how he imagined the drive from Baltimore would be. Or go, even.
Ziva waited a few moments to collect her thoughts before formulating a reply. "I do not think of you as a monster, Tony. You are just hard to be around sometimes," she said, turning back to look at him. 'Because I have feelings for you,' she didn't add. She hoped he didn't hear the hitch in her breath at the silent thought.
What you feel is no surprise
"And you're not?" He gave her an amused grin. "Guess we're both just stubborn, huh?" Tony snuck a glance at her and then back to the road. And just like that everything was fine again. For now. They still had another hour or so until they were close to home. "How would you like to stop for an early dinner instead of going home?"
She really didn't care for food at the moment, but it couldn't hurt. "That sounds fine." She smiled politely and propped her hand on the door, leaning her face on it to look at the colorful sky. This was always her favorite time of day, where she could enjoy the many reds and oranges the sun seem to paint on the sky. If Tony were a romantic, surely he would love to spend time at the park with her looking at the sunset. She let her thoughts wander to what life could be like...with him.
If only her tone didn't say differently.... "Are you sure?" He didn't want to cause her to feel as if he was forcing her again. Apparently he was too pushy. But even though he was hungry, he could wait if she didn't feel up to it.
She smiled at his sudden interest in her wants verses just what he thought she needed. "If you want to stop and eat, we can stop and eat." She could think of nothing else to say on the matter and chuckled lightly. Did he think she wanted him to starve on her behalf?
Tony sighed. "Just answer the damned question with a yes or no, Ziva. Don't do this "if you want" game with me. Simple answers work much better." Especially since I won't have you mad at me for something I did even though you didn't want to do but told me to do anyway. Why were women so difficult? Never give straight answers about anything.... He shook his head. "I don't like the "if you want" game. Never have."
She sighed. "Tony, pull over at a restaurant. We can eat. You don't have to go and get upset over something so trivial." Shaking her head, she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Not upset, just frustrated. Why do women like to mess with our heads so much," he asked taking the nearest exit to find a place to eat.
"It is not intentional." Then she remembered how she would constantly worm her way into his little bubble with sexual innuendos and temptation. "Most of the time," she added with a smirk.
He raised an eye, wondering if she was thinking the same as he was. All the times she had teased him... a slightly amused smirk came across his lips. "Don't you mean most of the time it IS intentional?"
"Well if you are attracted to me Tony, then it is not my fault. Mostly unintentional." She was still smirking. She knew from so many instances his attraction to her, if only physical. But they both knew how she would manipulate him and tease him intentionally. She decided to play the 'innocent' card.
He pulled into an IHOP. And then rolled his eyes. " Like you're the innocent one in that situation? Please. I know you a bit too well for that."
She thought about saying how he was not so innocent himself, but she didn't want to give him the upper hand by describing how he sent warmth down her spine every time he stood behind or or how when he looked at her with that fire in his eyes, it would make her melt. No, she couldn't tell him. "Maybe you do." She winked.
Everyone needs something to believe in,
Tell me your dreams, I'll tell you mine,
In our hearts we'll look inside,
And see all of the colors of the rainbow,
I know!
He snorted. "Come on, let's go eat," he said getting out of the car before coming over to help her. Ok, so maybe he would help her so much as stand there if she needed him...She wasn't cripple. But then, what excuse would he have to touch her...whether she wanted him to or not? Despite the teasing they were doing at the moment, Ziva probably didn't want him touching her. After all, she still hated him for killing Rivkin...or hadn't said anything contrary to that since she'd been back home. Which meant she did....He mentally sighed. Which meant she didn't trust him...which was why she didn't like him touching her.... God, when had his life gotten so complicated?
Ziva let Tony help her out of the car. She tried not to look too much intothe way he was holding her. She maybe liked it a little too much. He had proven himself to at least care these pastweeks if his blatant over-protectiveness was any indication. "Thank you, Tony,"she said as her feet hit the ground. She let him continue to hold her arm after she was standing knowing she could keep her balance, but loving the contact pretended not to be disappointed when he let go. Was he scared to touch her? To break her?
Tony just nodded and held the door open for her as she slowly walked into IHOP. He didnt know what to say... or do. Being too pushy ( or overbearing) as she called it, was his way of making sure she was alright... took care of herself so she could go back to work. They were seated in a booth, across from each other.
"I have never been to IHOP before." She took a look around at her surroundings and breathed in the scent of pancakes and bacon. She smiled at the waitress and ordered a water before looking over at Tony so he could order a drink. Ziva took notice of how attractive the blonde was, exactly Tony's type, and felt disheartened. Immediately, she looked down at her menu decided what to nibble at. She'd lost her already small appetite.
Tony stared at the list of drinks before ordering a coke and some coffee. When she left, Tony shut the menu and put it aside. He knew what he wanted already. "Well, what looks good? I mean it is a pancake place... so you might want to order those...but they have tons more as you can see,"
Not wanting to get him riled up again by explaining how she wasn't hungry, she decided on a small plate of regular pancakes. "I will just try the pancakes this time. Maybe next time I will be more experimental. " She gave a small smile before looking back down, pretending to concentrate on the different items on the menu.
Tony shrugged. "Suit your self...." He toook a sip of his newly delivered drink and watched her. Was she avoiding looking at him? Probably. She probably didn't like looking at him unless she had to. Fine. Moving on... He grabbed an insert from the menus and decided he was going to try the special instead. It looked pretty good.
After a moment, Tony started looking around the room checking out the different people at the restaurant. She stole a glance up at his face and she had a hard time looking away. He really was a gorgeous man. As soon as his head started to turn back to her she looked away to the old lady two tables down from them. "Where do you think you will be in life when you are that old, Tony?"
We all want to believe in love,
We all want to believe in something,
Bigger than just us,
We all want to be a part,
Of the greater picture,
That's hangin' in our hearts,
Yeah it's bigger than us!
He looked in the direction of her gaze and thought about it a moment. "No clue. Where I would want to be is knowing that I have a legacy to follow my death." When she looked confused he explained. "Maybe a kid or two and a grandkid or two by that age. But hell, who knows what'll happen between now and when I turn that age. I might end up being alone and taking my name to the grave." he shrugged.
I want to see beyond my own little world,
Grab your hands so we can twirl around the galaxy,
see the world with clarity,
Oh-oo-oh,
Oh-oo-oh ,
We have such a long way to go,
But I know,
We're getting closer everyday,
Everyday!
"Have you not found interest in any girls lately?" Her eyebrows bunched up in surprise. What was this-Tony DiNozzo without a girlfriend? "I am surprised you do not have girls waiting in line for that role, by now."
"In case you haven't noticed, you're the only female I've been around in the last five weeks or so." Tony said not adding that he really didn't have an interest in anyone but her.
She could think of nothing to say. Why was he talking about having kids and stuff but not dating women? If he wanted to have kids, he had to have them with someone. And since he didn't have a romantic interest in her, her curiosity was piqued. "How do you plan to have children if you do not take the initiative and ask a woman out?"
Tony shrugged. "Adoption is always an option, you know. There are lots of kids that way," There was no way he'd tell her that maybe, eventually, she would be the one going with him.
We all want to believe in love,
We all want to believe in something,
Bigger than just us,
We all want to be a part,
Of the greater picture,
That's hangin' in our heart,
Yeah bigger than us!
It fills the universe,
It lights the skies above,
It rescues our hearts with love,
"Maybe you are not looking at a broad enough spectrum. I know plenty of people who would love to spend forever with Tony DiNozzo." She hid the comment behind a chuckle, but inside was nervous. Would he see that she was talking about herself? No, it was way too early to consider things like that.
Tony snorted. "Yea, everyone at NCIS. Ducky, Gibbs, McGee, Abby....They want me around forever."
Ziva sighed quietly. So much for trying to be subtle.
Now she knew he certainly had no interest in her.
We all want to believe in love,
We all want to believe in something,
Bigger than just us!