A/N: You've all been waiting for it... its in here!! Happy reading. ( and I'm not talking about sex!)
Song: "Naturally" by Selena Gomez
Thanks for the reviews from last chapter!! They made my day! (I've been sick for the past month... sever bronchitis and a bunch of other stuff I won't bore you all with!)
Gotta love Lauren! :D
True to his word, Tony put her door back on its hinges when they returned home from the wedding. Ziva still found it odd that she thought of Tony's as home now, but she spent more time here than she had in her own apartment and it wasn't worth stressing over. So she went with it. Also keeping with his word, Tony did take her out for walks again every day and Ziva felt stronger with each day passing. Or maybe that was the pain medication she was still on. Two refills left. Then she could return to work. She just had to keep that in mind. Only a few more weeks left. Six. Yes, she was counting.
It was going by slowly, but the fragile agreement she and Tony had come to in the car was working. For now. When they entered the apartment after their fourth walk that week ( one for each day and Ziva had to give credit to Tony for being persistant in doing what he said), she headed straight for the bathroom. His hand, though not actually touching her, had been behind her, braced and ready to catch her in case she fell or needed help. It had been so close to her body that Ziva had felt the heat, the warmth of Tony, radiating from it. It drove her nuts. She wanted him to actually touch her. But since the conversation in the car, he hadn't. Not once. Nor did he offer his help- another change she attributed to the car conversation.
How you choose to express yourself
It's all your own and I can tell
It comes naturally, it comes naturally
Tony sighed as he watched her walk -still slowly- to the bathroom. Pretty soon she wouldn't need him to help her. What would he do then? Go back to work early? Relax for the next six weeks? God only knew. He and Ziva were getting along again, but that was only because he'd kept his word on what he had said in the car and held back on being too pushy. He hadn't even touched her, not wanting her to feel like he thought she was a cripple. Because she wasn't. He knew that. He just didn't want her to hurt herself more. But apparently he was acting like an over protective brother.
Ziva took her time in the restrooom looking in the mirror. There was only a week left of her time with Tony...at least where he was forced to be around her and be overprotective. Then she'd be free....ok not free, but he wouldn't suffocate her with his stubborn ways or over protectiveness. But she also liked when he acted that way.... She felt like a child, begging for her crush's attention. She only hoped that for the rest of the week she wouldn't do something stupid and ruin the fragile arrangement they had worked out for now. She flushed the toilet, pretending to have been using it to cover her vulnerability. Walking out, she bumped into Tony and almost lost her balance.. "Oops. Sorry I did not realize you were there."
You follow what you feel inside
It's intuitive, you don't have to try
It comes naturally, mmmm it comes naturally
Tony reached a hand out to steady her. "Careful," he said before giving her a tenitive smile. "Don't need you falling again," He had a feeling the tension between them was going to break. And soon. When it did, he was also pretty sure nothing would be the same again. He slowly removed his hands from her arms, hoping she didn't see just how the simple action to her losing balance had affected his breath. Her skin was soft....so soft he wondered what it would be like to- NO! No! Bad Tony!
Oh, but she had already fallen. She had just told herself not to do anything stupid, and here she had fallen for her coworker, partner. The man she constantly argued with. What was wrong with her? They were all wrong for each other. And yet, she couldn't stand not being around him at least once a day. Her mind was racing and her heart was thumping wildly in her chest. "What if I told you I've already fallen," she asked in a small quiet voice .
And it takes my breath away
What you do, so naturally
He instantly scanned her body, quickly, concern masking his features. And trying to ignor how much of a great body she had.. "Are you ok, did you hurt yourself? Are you bleeding?" he asked. He prayed she hadn't gotten hurt or would have to go get restitched again. Then the leave would be even more extended. Though part of him wished she had- he'd get to spend more time helping or touching her in some way.
She sighed and shook her head, pushing lightly past him. He would never get it. Sadly though, she wasn't surprised. She flashed back to the elevator so long ago when she admitted was tired of pretending, but they were on a completely different page then. Apparently they still were. "Never mind, Tony. You will never get it."
Tony frowned and gazed after her for a minute before following. "Ziva.. wait. What are you talking about?" When she didn't answer he sighed. "Come on, Ziva. Tell me. What do you mean, I'll never get it?" He stared at her as she relaxed on the couch.
"Just like the existance of soulmates. You will never get it Tony. I don't know why I didn't give up long ago." She sighed again and buried her head in her hands, resting them on her knees.
He frowned even more. What the hell was she talking about? Was her medication making her act funny? Tony didn't think so. " Ok.... Why don't we talk about it now then since you obviously want to talk about something." he said still standing a few feet from her. She may be injured but she could do some damage if she really tried. She wasn't that weak anymore.
You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know its meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby
"I do not want to talk, Tony." She shook her head vehemently. Why couldn't he just leave bad enough alone?
He sighed. "Fine. I'll be in the kitchen, ordering dinner from the Chinese place down the street. Want anything in particular?" He asked, though he didn't wait for her to answer as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed the phone. What was up with her? They were fine a few moments before and now she was mad at him? He shook his head. Women.
After a few moments of silence, Ziva walked into the kitchen to fetch something to drink. Nevermind the fact Tony was in there. She grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and turned, half sitting on the counter. "You are angry." It was not a question.
Tony sighed. "Frustrated is more like it. I can never tell what it is you're talking about or what you need! And it seems no matter which I try, to ask or figure out, you're always mad at me as if I should be some sort of mind reader," he said with a shrug as he leaned against the entry way frame.
"You can be quite thick headed sometimes, Tony. But I can understand how you may feel that I expect you to know...certain things. Things that seem blatantly obvious to me may be harder for you to notice." She knew he probably had no idea what she was talking about. But maybe he'd just go with it? She didn't like having to explain herself.
"Like what? I can see when you try to pretend you aren't in any pain. I can tell when you're mad at me. Is there something else I'm not seeing that you would like me to? Because I need an explaination, Ziva. I'm not a mind reader, as much as you want me to be."
She had to lie. How could she tell him..? No. "There is nothing." She looked back away from him at a random spot on the wall and took another sip of her water. She knew she was sending him mixed signals, but it was so hard not to. She couldn't decide herself half the time if she wanted him to know how she felt or not.
"See? This is what I'm talking about! I know there is something, but if I ask you to just tell me, you won't. You'll get even more mad. And if I gnor it, you're still mad and the tension level raises another four notches! I can't take this much longer, Ziva. I really can't. Either tell me directly or don't. But do not get mad at me when I try to understand you. Or hell, even when I don't ask. Because from now on I'm not going to ask anymore."
You have a way of moving me
A force of nature, your energy
It comes naturally (You know it does)
It comes naturally
Mmmm yeah
And it takes my breath away (Everytime)
What you do, so naturally
Is that what she wanted? Of course not, she liked it when Tony bugged her about anything, everything. It is what made him special. He had that uncanny ability to get underneath her skin. So how did she fix this? "Tony, I am..." You can do this Ziva. "I am afraid to tell you." Lucky for her, she was interrupted by the shrill ring announcing the arrival of their chinese.
Tony snorted as he went to the door. "Of course you are. You don't trust me, why would you tell me something important?" he muttered loud enough for her to hear. He paid the guy and came back into the kitchen, setting the bag on the counter. "This one is yours," he slid the first container down the counter to her followed by a fork. Then he got his own out and crumbled the bag before tossing it in the trash and eating his own food.
Ziva forced herself to look unaffected by his off hand comment. He honestly had no idea. She wanted to tell him so many things, but hesitated out of fear of how he would react. She was only human, after all. That was proven when she took two bullets. "Do you not think I am afraid of things, Tony? I am afraid to get hurt, just like anyone else. I am not unbreakable."
He raised an eye, but inside he was welling up with guilt. Of course she was breakable! She almost died for crying out loud! Did she not know that he knew how fragile she was? Obviously not.. but then again, he never told her. "I know that, Ziva. Do you forget I was there when you almost died? When the transfusion didn't take the first time? I know exactly how lucky you are to be alive right now." he finished, refusing to look at her in case she saw his guilt.
You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know its meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby
"Then you should understand my hesitation and fear, Tony. I do not tell you things because it is hard for me to even tell them to myself! How can I possibly tell someone else? How could I tell you?" Her strong glare was broken when she shook he head and looked down at the food before her, practically untouched.
He set his own container down and turned to look at her. "Fine, Don't tell me. But do NOT get mad at me for not understanding what you're talking about when you refuse to explain it to me."
"I am not mad at you. I am frustrated. With this whole situation. With you." She breathed heavily, trying her best to calm her nerves.
"And I'm not? We can't get along. Do you not think that I am also fed up? I don't like arguing with you, but it seems thats all we ever do besides tease and joke. Do you know how damned frustrating that is?" he shook his head. "I can't continue to do this."
"What do you plan to do about it Tony? We are stuck here! For another 6 weeks, at that!" She was almost boiling now as she stood up from her seat glaring at him with stony eyes.
Tony bit back the response of she had six more weeks...because he honestly wasnt sure if he was going to stick around for that much longer. "Obviously, there is nothing I CAN do about it, Ziva. Don't you think I would have by now if there was?"
When we collide, sparks fly
When you look in my eyes, it takes my breath away
"I do not know, Tony. Maybe you should consider taking me back to my place, if you can find no alternative. You will not have to deal with me anymore." Anger and pain was flashing in her eyes. He did not want her, and he had made that ever so clear these past few weeks. So many things did not make sense to her right now. Why did he act like he cared if he only hated her and was frustrated just by being near her?
He felt as if he'd been punched in the stomache. The pain he saw in her eyes was enough to tell him she hadn't meant a word of what she'd said. Besides, he wasn't that cruel. He came within two feet of her, slowly placing his hands on her upper arms. Tony's eyes searched hers for a moment. "I am not going to send you off to fend for yourself, Ziva," he said quietly. "I'm not like that. You know I could never turn my back on you, don't you?"
She froze. Did she know that? Of course she did. The way he treated her after Somalia, the way he reacted when she was shot... Suddenly, she became uncomfortable. She was vulnerable. Ziva looked away from his fiery gaze, not able to keep her emotions in check any longer. "I have to...go..somewhere." She started to pull away from his hold on her.
Tony held her arms tighter. "No. No,Ziva. Not this time. We are not putting this off any longer! Do you trust me or not?" Tony asked. When she looked up at him, he thought she was going to say no. There was a defiant look in her eye and it made him slightly nervous. "If you don't trust me, then stop me...." he said before leaning down to capture her lips with his. If she didn't want this...didn't trust him...Tony wasn't sure what he was going to do. The feel of her lips had him distracted and he loosened his grip on her arms to let them gently fall to her waist. Finally, he was able to show her his feelings.. why he was so over protective, why he needed to make sure she was alright, even if she was just as stubborn as he was and they clashed. It was part of what he adored about her. She'd stand up to him any day.
You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it's exciting
When you know its meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you're with me, baby
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby
Instead of moving into the embrace, or even backing away from him, she simply stood there. Tony DiNozzo was kissing her. Her friend, her partner, the man she went between hating and loving in seconds, was kissing her. Wait, shouldn't she be kissing him back? Nervously, and to show that she did trust him, she tilted her head further up creating the perfect angle. She teased his lips with her tongue, seeking entrance.
Just as he was about to pull away, Ziva responded making a little buble of happiness burt inside him. She did trust him! Right? Yes! Finally! Tony eased her closer to him so their bodies were touching before pulling away and leaning his forehead against hers. "I take that as a yes?" he asked quietly, though his voice still seemed to loud for the suddenly too silent kitchen.
"I have trusted you for a long while now, Tony." I have more than trusted you, she thought. But she wasn't sure if they were ready for that step, were they?
He grinned. "You could have told me that awhile ago then. Would have saved me a hell of a lot of stress."
"Maybe I like teasing you, Tony," she said with a wink. She rolled her eyes at his exasperated expression.
Everything baby comes naturally
" You are one cruel woman, you know that?" he gave a small laugh. Why did it feel as if the tension in the room had evaporated? Maybe because it had? Thank God.
"You know you like it," she said and winked.
He laughed. "Sadly, your right, I do." He leaned down and kissed her again.
A/N: Review?! I REALLY want feed back on this chapter! Thanks!! :D