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randomness xx

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Magical xx

Disclaimer:

Us: We own the DVD does that count?

Edward: No

Us: But

Edward: No

Us: Damn

All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything

Evanescence – Bring me to life

A group of feet stomped on the pavement. One after the other, in a fast cycle under the glow of the moon. The first guy weaved around the corner, futilely trying to escape from me and the rest of the agents on their trail. As soon as they had all realised they were being chased all loyalty flew out the window. It was every man for themselves. Cowards.

I watched from my hiding place as the man stopped and lent over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath before turning and realizing if he didn't move soon he would be caught and locked up. Well good luck with that. I knew he wouldn't do well in prison. Before the man could do anything the other agents turned the corner and began to surround him. This had to be the most satisfying part.

"Shit" the man cursed under his breath.

I emerged out of alley next to him and came up from behind, while the others surrounded him from the front.

"Freeze." The man turned around slowly eyes widening as he met my deep brown eyes. I kept my poker face intact as I watched him intently watching for anything suspicious. I looked up at my partners conveying the message in my eyes that I was going to go forward. I was met with strong dark eyes telling me to go ahead. I watched Alice nod at me quickly.

Then looking next to her I saw a pair of weary bright green ones tell me to be careful. I l looked at him pointedly. He gave me a restrained nod giving me the go ahead. I knew he hated watching me do this. It's why no one could know, why it was forbidden in our contracts.

I made my way forward cautiously assessing what he could do, he didn't have any weapons, so everything was okay on that front, but was he a good fighter? I wasn't sure, but from what I could tell by his stance his left side was his weakest as he had his right side facing me, without realizing he was showing me his weakness.

He also had his emotions displayed clearly on his face, showing how scared shitless he was. Knowing this just made this whole thing a lot easier. Showing your fear gives the opponent the upper hand. I could tell he knew getting away was pretty much hopeless but a determined spark still flickered in his eyes, showing me I might be in for a fight.

I took the last step towards him watching his right fist twitch reading itself to shoot out but just as he decided to throw the punch I grabbed his fist and pulled his arm round behind his head, halting his movements. I gritted my teeth as I held him in place to try and stop him jerking about, struggling in my grasp. I may not have been as strong as him but I knew how to throw my weight around. I leaned down to his ear feeling him shiver;

"Don't try me." I spat, threat dripping from my words "You'll lose." I could feel a smirk curving my mouth. I felt his struggling stop abruptly and I knew he had given up. I pulled the hand cuffs from my pocket and secured them around his wrists I looked up at the other two who had been watching intently to jump in at the first sign of trouble. I beckoned Alice over.

"Get him in the van, we'll take him to HQ for investigation on the rest of his group" She nodded at me. I slowly released my grip on him, ready to pass him onto Alice,who had her arms ready to grab him but before she could he ran.

If this wasn't so important I probably would have laughed. So would you if you were watching a criminal try to escape with his wrists cuffed together behind his back! I watched as Alice broke into a full blown sprint and caught up with him, tackling him to the ground and pulling him into a hold on the cold, tarmac road.

"Now" She said "I'm going to let you up slowly and you will co-operate. Comprende?" she wasn't giving him a choice it was a strict order. She kept his hands firmly grasped in hers, pushing him to the car. I could hear his grunts of frustration. She opened the van doors and pushed him in, a groan of protest escaping his mouth as he hit the hard car floor.

"Shall we take him to HQ?"

"Yeah, you go ahead. I want to talk to Bella for a moment" Edward said, making his presence known once again. Alice looked between the two of us and nodded, jumping into the van, the tyres screeching as she put her foot down and accelerated into the distance. I turned to him and just looked at him for a moment.

He wrapped his arms around me and buried his head into the crook of my neck, laying butterfly kisses on the skin. I brought my hands from my sides to wrap around his neck, to play with the soft hair on his neck.

"I'm still not used to watching you do that. I hate it" He breathed into my neck.

"It's my job. I can't just stop doing it. I feel the same when it's you up there, but we can't do anything about it - if we so much as make them suspect something, it would be the end of us" I sighed and smiled softly into his shoulder " The end of this. And I don't want this to end, Edward"

"I don't either." He whispered into my shoulder. He brought his head back up just as I did, and looked into my eyes. Looking right into my soul, uncovering everything that was hidden, everything that made me, well, me. I smiled as he leaned down to connect his lips with mine, my eyes fluttering shut and a dim glow showing behind my lids. His warm breath blew on my face just before his lips met mine…

*******

Damn...

I was so close to kissing him. Why do I always wake up in the best parts of a dream? Oh well, at least I had a name for Green Eyes, it was getting a little stalkerish, calling him Green Eyes all the time. Edward...that worked. I liked it. Of course I would though, wouldn't I? It's a name dredged up from subconscious, but it suited him. Old fashioned, romantic, like him I suppose. Though how I got that from one days' worth of stalkery I'll never know. But in the dream he seemed like that. Bella, that was a dream – it is NOT real. I mentally slapped myself. It didn't work. Time to get out of bed...

Eh, it was time to get up anyway. It's not like I couldn't fantasise about Edward anywhere. Yawning, I slung my legs out of the bed and rubbed my eyes. I looked at the clock to find it was around about the time I usually got up. Well. Nothing to stop me going about my normal routine. Except strange dreams about a guy I'd only seen twice (and followed once, but let's not go there).

Humming along to a song I bounced down the stairs. I was feeling perky this morning – pity it was about to get ruined. I headed for the letterbox, anticipating my next Monty Python fan club letter. Cough, cough. That was a joke. I'm not that obsessed. I'm not! Stop looking at me like that!

Ah-hem. Anyway, um yes. Moving on. I looked down at the pile of letters I had just grabbed. Well, wasn't I popular today. Bill. Bill. Stupid insurance letter. University newsletter. Monthly letter from ex boyfriend. La-di-da. La-di-do. Ooh, interesting, an unknown letter. Dumping the rest of my mail on the hallway table I ripped open the letter. I never said I was known for my patience!

My hand froze as my eye fell upon the sender's name. Renee Dwyer.

Also known as my mother.

What the hell could she want from me now? My blood? My first - born child? A frigging organ? God knows what.

*********

Dear Bells, the letter read. How dare she call me Bells! She has no right!

I know you won't be happy to receive this letter (Damn straight!), but I felt I had to send it. I know i haven't been the best mother. (Noooo. That's not true at all. Of course, I always thought very highly of you) But I couldn't not tell you how sorry I'm feeling. My life has turned around completely. I don't even think you'd recognise me! I know you won't believe me, but I really am sorry for the way I treated you. I'm your mother, and I love you. (Oh, for the love of God!)

I'm a mother who needs her baby back. (I felt numb this was too surreal. This wasn't my mother - to her I was a burden, a waste of space, a mistake.)

You were the one good thing in my life back then, and I lost you. But now my life has changed, improved and I want you back. The biggest change in my life would shock even you. I don't sleep around anymore. I fell in love again. Phil. I think you'd like him. He reminds me of you, baby. (Baby? Reminds me of you? Remarried? My hands were shaking. She got married without me, her own daughter? So much for motherly love.)

You would have loved my wedding. We went the whole ten miles, big white dress, catering, everything. (You went the whole hog on your wedding but couldn't afford my lunch money?)

I'm asking for your forgiveness, and I want to see you again. (That was it, I snapped, and screamed bloody murder, all the pent up anger flowing from my body. I probably woke up the whole apartment block. Now she wants my forgiveness? After 6 years, 6 whole bloody years she chooses now to apologize?)

All my love,

Renee Dwyer

P.S. Enclosed are my new address, phone number and money for plane tickets. I hope you'll come.

Money for plane tickets? To where? She didn't specify – I could go anywhere. I mean it isn't like plane tickets will make up for childhood neglect. Yeah, really. Here are some plane tickets, please forgive me!

I was fuming. How dare she, after all these years! I screeched as loud as I could, stomping my feet and throwing my arms around. I heard frantic steps coming towards the door. A disorientated Alice swayed to the door with a confused, scared look on her face, clutching my rolling pin to her chest.

"Whas goin on?" she slurred, eyes darting everywhere. She looked incredibly tired.

"What's going on is this!" I spat, throwing the letter at her. She blinked and scanned it, eyes growing wider as she got to the bottom.

"Oh." She said in a small voice. "In light of this, I can understand the screaming." I nodded, still feeling resentful. "You want to talk?" She asked, her eyes still wider than usual.

I shook my head. "I just want to be alone for a while." I said, "You can grab breakfast and do what you want whilst I go out." I told her before sprinting upstairs to get dressed

*******

I walked down the street, meandering, trying so hard not to think of the letter.

That stupid letter.

Why'd she have to interfere with my life exactly when I had too many problems already? It was typical; Renee always had to be the most important thing, the centre of attention. Well not today, I told myself, forcing the letter and its contents out of my mind. Instead I determinedly started window shopping, telling myself to focus on the clothes rather than my mother.

But there, right in the window of one of my favourite stores', looking innocuous was a skirt. But not just any skirt, a polka dot skirt, and one that brought back many memories, one in particular.

No! Don't go there Bella. No! Too late. There I was, strolling down memory lane…

********

My mother's skirt swished around her calves, making a soft swoosh every time she moved. I knew the skirt was new. I also knew she'd paid for it with the money that was meant to pay for my school dinners.

"You don't mind, do you, sweetheart?" I shook my head obediently, of course not. I was only eight years old. What could I say or do?

"Good girl." She smiled, patting me on the head. "I knew you'd see it my way. I know Johnny will just love me in this!" She giggled like a schoolgirl. I didn't know who Johnny was, but what did it matter? There was always some new man for me to call "Uncle", and be polite too. If I didn't, Renee would slap me. One hard smack against the cheek that would leave a red mark, which meant I couldn't go to school the next day. And through it all Renee would tell me what a selfish, miserable, ungrateful child I was and didn't I want a new Daddy? She'd give me dirty stares and tell me to stop being a baby when I cried.

I sometimes thought that she should never have become a mother. She was too scattered, too young and too childlike to ever take care of a child. I ended up taking care of myself, most of the time.

I remember, later that evening when Renee came back, after leaving me alone for hour. I was a pretty self-sufficient child, but I hated those nights when she left me for hours on end. The shadows on the walls looked creepier, and there was no one to tell me that the monsters under the bed weren't real. Not that Renee had ever done that for me, but she was better than nothing.

I can see it clearly now. Me, small and underdeveloped - I had always been small for my age - as I grasped the frying pan. I'd been trying to make pancakes. Yes, that was it. The smell of burning pancakes permeating the air had woken me up - I'd fallen asleep, you see. But just as I pulled the pan off the grill I heard a key turn in the lock. Ah, Renee was home.

She spilled in, her arm slung around a seedy looking man, and her drunken laughter sounded unnaturally loud in the silence. Her lipstick was smeared too, and she had love bites on her neck. Of course, I didn't know that they were love bites, but I knew that they weren't normal.

"Bella! Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella! I'm home!" She slurred, her words mixing with her sniggers. I ignored her. I'd seen her in this state far too many times to care. I focused on taking the hot pan to the sink and piled it on top of the other filthy plates Renee had yet to clean.

"Hey, don't ignore me. I'm your mother!" She sounded like a pissed teenager. Hell, she acted like one half the time. "Hello? God, are you stupid as well as a nuisance? Yes? Well at least do something useful and get me and Jimbo here a drink" Jimbo? I'd thought it was Johnny. She must really be drunk. But, nevertheless I got the bottle of vodka she kept in her room and brought it in to them.

"Bella, I specifca-specificalla-sepifc- specifically told you to get us glasses!" She yelled, never mind the fact she couldn't get her words straight, no, lets drink more alcohol. Great example, mother dearest.

I turned away, slipping my "blank" face on, and made for the kitchen, reaching into the cupboard to reach the glasses I knew she kept there. Unfortunately my hand slipped, and I dropped the glass on the counter. The resounding smash reverberated in my head and highlighted the pain in my hand. I'd cut myself and was now bleeding profusely.

"What the hell is going on in there?" Renee shouted, storming into the kitchen, where I was staring at my hand. When I was younger, I couldn't stand the sight of blood, it made me sick. That, combined with the fact that Renee was about to swoop down and start yelling at me made me start to cry. I couldn't stop; it was like a compulsion, something I couldn't control.

"Shut up! Stop screaming! It's just a fucking cut! It's not that bad. Oh, for fucks sake. Shut the hell up! The neighbours will hear you!" Renee fumed, with no concern for my wound. But I wouldn't stop crying, so she slapped me. It was a good one too, loud, hard and so, so painful. I just stared up at her. She did it again. Three times, until her date lumbered in, wondering what all the commotion was about.

"Huh? What are you doin' to the kid, Renee? God, she's what, six? An' there you are, slapping her! What did she do to deserve that? It's just a glass." He turned to me. "It'll be alright. I'll just put at bandage on it for you, eh?" I sniffed and nodded. This was a new occurrence. Renee's boyfriends never took any notice of me. He smiled and walked to the bathroom. Biting my lip, I looked at Renee; she was slumped on the couch, looking grumpy. No remorse. No nothing. Not even an "I'm sorry". She narrowed her eyes at me, her lips pursed. Standing up, she flounced off to her room skirt swishing. That skirt…

*******

It was always polka dot skirts that brought on the memory, the same as my mothers, made me feel eight years old again. I could never forgive my mother for neglecting me like that, for making me feel worthless. I knew I wasn't, and no amount of sorrowful letters could change my feelings towards her.

But I could stop the memory affecting me so much.

I smiled faintly and went towards the shop. Time for a new skirt…

Then I saw him again. Edward. Why is it whenever I see him I feel like I'm home, a sense of relief? Kind of weird, but kind of nice at the same time. He was heading towards me on the path a couple of metres ahead of me. Oh shit - what do I do? if I run I'll look suspicious, and if I just stay here and stare at him I'll look mentally challenged - he already almost caught me and Alice, well, mostly me, stalking him yesterday. So what did I do? I ducked into the nearest store. That wasn't the one I'd been meaning to go in.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't just ducked into Mamas and Papas.

Kill me now! Please I would rather be poked in the eyes with hot pokers then spend another minute walking around this store smiling at the oh so helpful store worker who has been telling me the ins and outs of baby Pushchairs.

Let's get one thing straight. I am not a baby person. You want to gush over adorable babies? You go to Alice. You want to sigh over gorgeous men? Then you come to me.

"This one is my favourite!" she gushed "It's light so you can carry it anywhere you want, and it also has a pouch at the back to put shopping in with cute teddy bears embroidered on it!" She cooed as I just smiled and nodded. She turned around to look at the push chair; I glared daggers at the back of her head and mimicked strangling her, then hastily dropped them when she turned around to look at me.

I gave her a sickly sweet smile and just said "I'll have to think about it." I let out a gust of air and turned to the door. Then I saw Edward standing there, leaning against the entrance, a big smirk on his face and his eyebrow raised at me. It almost looked like he was mouthing "Something you're not telling me? My jaw dropped. He looked at me, still smirking! He shook his head and walked away.

I regained my composure and stepped out the store trying to forget all about my pushchair ordeal and made my way back to the apartment.

*****

"Alice, Alice! Alice?" I called out to her "Guess who I saw!" I walked into the living room and saw her sitting on the sofa, with a tub of Ben and Jerry's in her lap watching Sex in the City the movie with the pink fluffy dressing gown she keeps here wrapped around her body. She was engrossed in watching the part where Sarah Jessica Parker gets out the car wearing the fabulous Vivienne Westwood dress. That dress is her dream wedding dress. I laughed at the expression on her face as she concentrated intensely on the TV her eyes not breaking away from the screen until the dress went away. Only then did she turn around and grin at me.

"Guess who I saw today!"

"Who? Tell me, tell me!" she said bouncing on the sofa. "Ooh, was it Ben Barnes? Yum." She drooled.

"No. Someone even better - Edward!" I squealed. Alice's face turned as hard as stone, her body completely rigid. Then she spoke quietly but seriously, with a tone I couldn't quite fathom.

"Edward? What do you mean Edward?"

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