Hello! Thanks to all who have reviewed! ILOVEYOU! Enjoy this chappy. Lots of angst. Ichigo finally grows a pair. Haha. :D

"Serious isn't in Grimmjow's nature." Ulquiorra answers, his eyes holding more sadness than usual as he looks at me.

I swallow tightly, knowing Ulquiorra is right.

Fuck this. Fuck it. Fuck it all to hell.

I make to stand and stalk away, but I realise I'm still clenching Grimmjow's phone in my hand. A picture of Nel looks up at me lustily. Her breasts take up most of the screen.

How exactly can I compete with that?

I flip the phone shut and slide it into my trouser pocket. I say my goodbye's to my friends, not looking Ulquiorra in the eye, and slip out of the classroom.

I end up on the grassy field in front of Rukia and her friends.

They all look up at me with big evil grins and Rukia blushes.

"C-could I have a word?" I ask, hoping they don't hear the slight stutter in my voice.

"Sure, Ichigo." Rukia stands up and as I lead her away, I hear her friends burst into annoying giggles.

I shove my hands into my pockets sulkily, but Rukia laughs at me and slides her hand into my pocket too, stroking my hand soothingly.

I decide I need her. Now.

We weave through the crowded corridors of the school. It's like we're invisible. No one can see us. No one can touch us.

What I love about being with Rukia is she doesn't make me feel stupid. Even when she scolded me for nearly putting washing up liquid in the washing machine, her eyes were dancing with humour and it didn't take long for her to forgive me.

With Grimmjow, when he insults my intelligence, I want to cry. I feel like I'm three years old and I'm being scolded by a big scary grown-up.

I hate it.

That's why I'm doing this, I tell myself. I'm sick of Grimmjow. This is the end. I won't feel for him anymore.

I pull Rukia up a final flight of stairs. No one ever comes up this far. We sit down and rest our backs against the door to the roof. The key for the door was lost years ago so no one comes up here because there's no reason to.

Except if you want a secluded place to shag, that is.

Rukia's hand is still on mine. I look down at it.

A few seconds ago my veins were pounding with regret and hurt and anger.

Now there is nothing. Only calm, as Rukia gently pets my arm.

I flop my head to rest against her shoulder. She's so much shorter than me and my neck is probably bent at an impossible angle, but I feel more relaxed than I have in a while. Last night was more about satisfying a need, for the both of us.

"I...Ichigo." She speaks quietly.

"Hmm?" I hum.

She is quiet for a few seconds then, "Nothing."

I turn my head slightly but from my awkward angle, I can only see the quick flicker of her eyelashes as she swallows whatever she was really about to say.

"Is something wrong?" I ask her.

She snaps her head to face me.

I thought she might yell at me or cry but her expression surprises me. She smiling.

"Ichigo."

Although now when she says my name, she purrs it.

I find myself pushed onto my back. Without build-up or much anticipation, Rukia's hand is undoing the buttons of my trousers and sliding a cool hand into my boxers.

I, in turn, find my hands creeping across her skin, trying to touch more of her, trying to remember every curve and freckle.

Bvvv. Bvvv. Bvvv.

"Ichigo... your leg is vibrating."

"Ah."

Rukia stands up, dragging her knickers up her legs as she does so. I'm distracted for a moment as her backside disappears from view.

"Your phone, Ichi." She reminds me with a grin, bending sensually to pick up her bra.

"R-right." I mutter. I pull myself to my feet and quickly put my dick away, buttoning up my trousers.

I slide my hand into my pocket and pull out a phone... Grimm's phone.

The caller ID shows 'Mimi'. Who the fuck is that? I flip open his phone and hang up before 'Mimi' can say a word. What a fucking bint. I scowl angrily.

"Ichigo?" I hear the concern in Rukia's voice. I realise I'm muttering obscenities under my breath. "You ok?"

"Yeah. Fine." I say shortly.

I'm about to smash up the phone. Throw it against the wall, crush it with my foot, spit on it, flush it down the toilet – when I catch a glimpse of Grimmjow's screensaver.

What.

The.

Fuck.

A photo of me and Grimm grinning at the camera. We're in bed, the sheets are caught against out waists and I'm grinning broadly. Grimmjow has an arm slung round my shoulder and his face is scrunched up in a funny face. We're clearly naked and I even remember the occasion. It was last Christmas. My family went to see relatives and Grimmjow came to stay for a few days. All we did was fuck and eat cold turkey sandwiches.

I remember Grimmjow cut my sandwiches into little triangles, like the ones you find at a lame buffet table.

Of all the shit Grimm has dragged me through; somehow, I've held it together.

Of all the times he's broken my heart; it's still managed to keep me alive.

Of all the times I've sworn my hate and contempt for Grimmjow - I still love him as fiercely as I did the day he first kissed me.

I feel it in my stomach.

Absolute agony.

I mean real torment and hurt and misery.

I will never be rid of him. Ever. No matter how much I run or cry or hide it... I'll always love him the most.

If people could die of grief, I'd have kicked the bucket years ago. But life has taught me that you just have to get a grip and move on. You have to.

But this is different.

I can't.

I love him.

And I know I will only ever love him.

There won't be anyone else.

I'm not going to have a sudden epiphany and be like "What do I have to lose? I'll go tell him!"

It's not like that. I have a lot to lose.

A lot.

But I don't want things to be like this forever. I want to be in love and be happy about it, not absolutely fucking mortified.

I stare down at the photo.

Why can't every day be like that?

"I-Ichigo... What's going on? Is something wrong?"

I turn to Rukia.

Shit.

Could I really do it? Could I really just up and leave her?

I pull her into a hug, crushing her body against my own. She smells like sex and softness and safety.

I'll miss her.

"I have something to do." I kiss her on the cheek and press the phone into her small hands. "I'm sorry. You'll still be feeling angry in a few days, so come and find me. I'll take every hit, Rukia." I stroke her bewildered face and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't regret this."

Then I turn, grab my shirt off the floor and run like a madman in the direction of the sports hall.

I picture Rukia opening Grimmjow's flip phone to see the image of me and Grimm. I imagine the heartbreak and horror she will feel.

But I can't bring myself to regret the time I spent with her. I just can't.

I really will miss her.

Before some of you slag me off for including some IchiRuki, it is vital for the plot - as you will discover in the next chapter. Also it makes for some good juicy angst :D

REVIEW and I'll update quicker! ;)