A/N: The chapter title is the name of a Pink Floyd song.

Dementia

Chapter 3: Comfortably Numb

Riku exhaled deeply as he opened the front door to his shared flat. He had a very long and trying day. After bringing Sora outside of the funeral home to calm him down, they left early, letting Kairi's adoptive family do the final proceedings in the burial. Sora walked by Riku and went straight to his room. Three days of no sleep does a number on some people. The older man watched Sora disappear and he was filled with concern. What was Sora babbling about earlier? Riku could only assume that this was greatly affecting Sora more than he was showing on the outside.

Sora sighed as he hit the bed. He tried not to think of the funeral he had just attended. He tried not to focus on the fact that one of his best friends and the girl he loved was dead. He tried to forget that he was the one who killed her. He tried….

He was asleep before he could finish that thought.

Panic.

He was dreaming. No. This was a nightmare.

Kairi screamed. Sora's eyes flew open. He was in his room. She was in his face, staring at him with those bewildered eyes, wide with horror. Sora backed away, falling out of bed. He was holding something. The Oathkeeper was sticking out of Kairi's chest and he was holding the hilt. He cried out and let it go. Kairi didn't fall. She stood and walked towards him. Sora watched in terror as she withdrew the Keyblade and tossed it aside. Blood drained in heaps from her chest and back wounds. Her face turned pale and her cheeks sunken in. For the briefest moment, her hair was blonde, like Nami-

Sora screamed when a dead white hand made a grab for his face.

He sat up rapidly, breathing heavily and sweating. Just a dream…

"MURDERER!"

Sora awoke a second time for real. He looked around, expecting a corpse to jump out at him any second. When no such attack came, he threw his covers off and went to the kitchen. He was going to need coffee. Lots of it.

OOOoooOOO

Several days passed since the funeral. Riku yawned as he pulled his housecoat on. As he groggily walked down the stairs, his senses went on alert when sniffed the air and smelled smoke. He took off down the stairs and into the kitchen. What he saw confused him. Sora was pacing back and forth, as if waiting for something or thinking of something. Meanwhile, smoke was flooding from the oven. Riku covered his nose to avoid inhaling any smoke.

"Sora, what are you doing?" Riku managed to say without coughing.

"Cooking," the younger man replied, not breaking his pacing.

"Notice anything out of the ordinary?" Sora glanced at Riku and then followed his pointing hand to the oven. He yelped and threw open the oven door, getting a huge amount of smoke in his face. Coughing and hacking, he reached in with his bare hands and grabbed the pan, then shouted in pain as he dropped the pan on the floor. He banged his head against the top of the oven and pulled his head out. His entire face was covered in soot and his hands were now burned. Riku would have found this entirely amusing if it weren't for the fact he knew something was wrong. He picked up the pan of hash browns from the floor with a cooking glove and set it on the counter as Sora attempted to heal his hands and wipe the soot off his face.

"How did you not notice the burning smell?" he asked simply as he passed Sora a towel. Sora shrugged.

"I guess my mind was elsewhere." Riku took a hold of his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. After a few seconds of scrutiny, he released him.

"You look like shit."

"Hey!"

"When's the last time you slept? Your eyes are bloodshot." Sora shift uncomfortably.

"I… haven't." Riku gave a start. "Not since the funeral."

"That was days ago." He grabbed the bridge of his nose. "You need to sleep, Sora. You can't keep this up." Sora shook his head.

"No… When I sleep…I remember." No further explanation was needed. But it didn't mean Riku was okay with this. This is a phase. He'll get through this. Sora turned back to his hash browns and grabbed the pan with his bare hands again. Riku winced and tossed the cooking glove at Sora.

"Don't keep this up. You'll burn this place down. The landlord would be furious." That was how Riku got through tough situations. With dry humor and sarcasm. He eyed Sora's now burnt hash browns. They resembled more like charcoal bricks than anything else. "Why don't we eat out this breakfast? I heard Golden Griddle has nice stuff." Sora poked his burnt food and nodded. "Don't forget to turn the oven off before we leave."

It wasn't until a few hours after they returned that Sora realized the oven was still on. He discreetly went into the kitchen to shut it off and noticed the outside and surrounding area was black from the heat. Groaning, he got out the heavy-duty oven cleaner and began scrubbing. Had the oven been on any longer, he might set the whole place on fire.

OOOoooOOO

Riku answered his front door and was greeted by two faces he was glad to see.

"Hey Riku!" said Tidus.

"Yo, man, what's going on?" Wakka added. Riku smiled and stepped aside to let them in.

"Hey Sora!" Riku called up the stairs. "Look who's here!" Sora momentarily appeared at the top of the stairs, but upon seeing the faces of his childhood friends, he fled to his room. Riku was at a loss. He was so sure that Sora would welcome to opportunity to see his old friends. He turned back to his two guests with an apologetic smile.

"It's okay, man," Wakka said. "He's going through a tough time. We all are." Riku nodded.

"Would you excuse me? I'll see what's up." He jogged up the stairs to Sora's closed door and knocked gently. "Sora? You in there?"

There was silence for a few moments and then Sora replied, "No…"

"Why you hiding?" Riku pressed his forehead against the door.

"Because…"

"That's no answer." He heard Sora hesitate.

"I… I don't want to say anything stupid…"

"C'mon, it's not like they'll judge you-"

"No, I mean I don't want to blurt out anything… incriminating." Riku froze. He knew what Sora was referring to. The distraught young man didn't want to tell the two guests he killed his best friend.

"Okay… but if you feel like it, come down later. They probably really want to see you." Riku got no response, so he turned and went back downstairs where his two guests were waiting. He held his hands up and was about to explain himself, but Tidus cut him off.

"It's fine. We understand. How you holding up?" Riku shrugged nonchalantly.

"I could be better. You guys want a beer?"

"Sober driver," Tidus replied, holding one hand up.

"I'll take one," Wakka accepted. Riku showed them to the lounge room while he got a couple beers from the fridge. They sat in a comfortable silence until Tidus cleared his throat.

"That, um…" He paused to collect his thoughts. "That was a nice eulogy you said last week." Riku nodded thanks. "Pretty much summed up what I think everyone thought of Kairi." Wakka murmured in agreement. "So… how's Sora dealing?"

"Not good…" Riku sighed. He wanted to share his thoughts and tell them everything, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't risk endangering Sora's freedom. Even though Tidus and Wakka were good guys, the less people that knew about the truth, the better. "He's taking it pretty hard. It was so sudden…" Wakka punched his fist into his hand.

"They ever catch the animal that did it?" he asked. Riku shook his head. "Oh, when I find out who killed her, I'll break their skull in." Riku began sweating nervously. "Who could hurt such an innocent girl like Kairi?" Riku shrugged. He really didn't want to talk about this anymore.

"Come on, now, she wouldn't want us working ourselves into a vengeful fury," said Tidus. "Just let the cops take care of things." Riku silently thanked Tidus for his timely comment. He couldn't bear lying to his friends, but it was the only way to protect Sora. "So go on, Riku. Is there anything we could do to help Sora?" He shrugged.

"He's become kind of reclusive," he explained. "You saw how he ran off when you two showed up." The other two men nodded. "He hasn't been sleeping well either. Complains about nightmares. To be honest…" He took a minor interest in his hands for a moment. "I'm kind of worried this is beyond normal grieving."

"You think?" Wakka asked curiously. "I mean, think about it. Sora and Kairi were pretty close. They were nearly dating, ya?" Riku nodded. "So it's no wonder he's taking this pretty hard. Seems normal considering how close they were."

"Well what else has happened that makes you think something's up, Riku?" Tidus questioned.

"Other than his lack of sleep and nightmares?" Riku shifted uncomfortably, wondering if he should tell them what else had been going on. "His concentration is shot to hell, his reflexes are slow, and he's been doing dumb stuff."

"Everyone does dumb stuff once in a while-"

"No, I mean, it's like he lacks common sense. He grabbed a pan out of the oven with his bare hands." Both Tidus and Wakka sucked in air as if to say "Ouch!" and they cringed. "And he nearly burned the place down because he forgot he left the oven on. But the strangest thing is that you'd think he'd be really upset about the loss, or crying for hours. Kairi was his love. But I haven't seen him shed a tear since the night of the accident. It's like he's… numb." Tidus and Wakka went into contemplative modes, sitting back.

"I dunno, man, I still think it's a normal phase of grieving," Wakka offered.

"I'm not too sure about that," Tidus countered. "Something could be wrong. Maybe his brain is having a hard time accepting the loss. You should probably have it checked out. Better now than later."

Meanwhile, up in Sora's room, the trouble young man sat against his door with his knees against his chest. He refused to look at anything. Somehow, he figured if he stared at any one object too long, it'd stare back and learn the undeniable truth.

"I'm a monster…" he whispered.

Shame.

Immense shame.

He felt like a coward, hiding from his friends in his room. He couldn't face them. He knew they'd read his eyes, they'd know the truth. He couldn't stand their accusing eyes.

Guilt.

He knew he should turn himself in. Somehow, he figured it was better to let the police throw him in jail and let him rot instead of sitting on his cushy carpeted floor. At least he'd receive the punishment he deserved. Sora pushed his face into his cross arms. How could he lie to everyone? Kairi's memory deserved better than a cowering boy afraid to face up to the his mistake.

Selfish.

Sora felt a feeling of selfishness wash over him. He reminded himself that the reason he wasn't in jail was because of Riku. He couldn't leave his best friend in his moment of need. He had to remind himself that he wasn't the only one who was feeling the after-effects of Kairi's death. Riku was his best friend and he couldn't just leave him.

Suspicion.

And just what were Tidus and Wakka doing here? Were they hoping to get a confession? Sora would give no such thing. Disgrace. They were poking around. They were digging around for evidence. Kairi was their friend too. They wanted revenge. They knew. They knew the truth!

Extreme paranoia.

Sora jumped to his feet. If they knew the truth, why weren't they coming to get him?

Anger.

Sora gritted his teeth and slammed his fists down on his desk. Why didn't Tidus and Wakka come up and admit they knew the truth? Sora began throwing things off his desk in a blind rage. He tore posters down and threw his lamp against the wall. He opened drawers and tossed clothes carelessly around the room. It didn't matter anymore. They were going to take him away. Why not? He was a murderer! He killed the girl he loved!

Murderer!

Sora stopped what he was doing. He heard a voice. Several. Were they coming up?

Murderer!

There it was again. Whispers. Getting louder. Sora covered his ears. They were accusing and threatening, although he couldn't make out the specific words. He knew their implications. He spun around the room, looking for the source. Who knew? Who was talking?

The walls have eyes and ears…

Sora cried out.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" He looked around, spinning in circles. He fell to his knees. "I'm not a murderer!"

The walls know the truth…

"It was an accident! I didn't mean to…" He clutches the sides of his head. The spots he touched felt moist. He looked at his hands.

They were stained red with blood. Her blood.

Sora looked up. There, lying in a pool of her own blood, was Kairi, very much dead.

MURDERER!

Sora yelled out in fright, threw open his door and ran out.

He stumbled down the stairs to the lounge where Riku, Tidus, and Wakka were still talking.

Ignoring their confused stares, Sora shouted, "I can't take it!" Riku was on his feet in an instant, hushing and comforting his friend. "There's so much blood! My hands are tainted with it! The carpet won't wash clean of it! She's dead! Riku, she's dead! Oh god, why won't my hands wash clean?" Riku indicated to Tidus and Wakka that it was best if they left, which to two didn't object to. Sora rambled on for a few more seconds before Riku got a word in edge wise.

"What are you talking about?" he asked softly.

"You know what I'm talking about!" Sora cried accusingly. "Kairi's blood is on my hands! I'm the reason she's dead! And the walls know! They know!" He shuddered, nearly collapsing until Riku got a grip on him. "I can't sleep in there anymore."

"You weren't sleeping to begin with…" Riku muttered. "Look, just calm down…"

"Can't stay calm! Don't let me sleep! They'll take me away!" Riku hugged Sora close. It was killing him inside that he couldn't do more to help his best friend. Tidus was right; this was definitely much more than normal grieving.

"Would it help if you took my room?" Sora didn't respond. His shoulders shook violently. "Alright, take my room. Please…" Sora muffled a few incoherent words and finished by saying thank you. Riku moved to release Sora but the younger man clutched on as if for dear life. Riku sniffed and let Sora hold him a little longer. Whatever helps him get through this. He kept telling himself this over and over again.

OOOoooOOO

A/N: A little shorter than the last one, but the rest aren't like this. This is just to push along the timeline more than the plot and to drop hints that all's not well in Sora-land.