A/N: The chapter title is the name of a level in the video game Alice. And I apologize for torturing Sora so much. I adore him like a little brother. TT

Dementia

Chapter 4: School Daze

Riku raised his fist to knock on the door of his former room and he hesitated. It had been two days since he and Sora had switched rooms and so far, there hadn't been any more incidents. In fact, Sora seemed to be getting better. And that's what concerned Riku the most. He couldn't understand why Sora was fluctuating from perfectly fine to borderline breakdown. During these lucid periods of Sora's, he seemed absolutely fine, acting almost as if he hadn't just lost the one girl he cared the most for. Other times, he was completely numb to the world, muttering odd phrases and avoiding eye contact. This left Riku feeling apprehensive. Just what was going on in Sora's head?

It was the lucid periods that made Riku decide to put forward a proposition to Sora. He gathered his courage and knocked on the door. After being invited in, Riku opened the door cautiously. Sora was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Riku cleared his throat and Sora glanced at him.

"How you feeling today?" he asked kindly. Sora said nothing. Riku shifted from foot to foot. "How's the room working out for you?" Sora sighed. He was counting backwards under his breath. "I, uh… I thought maybe… you'd like to… get back on the horse, as they say." Sora gave Riku a funny look. "Uh, what I mean is… maybe we should… go back to school. It's been almost two weeks." Sora sat up.

"Do I look like a killer to you?" he whispered. Riku was startled.

"No, of course not!" Sora suddenly smiled wide, the way he used to before this whole mess.

"Then let's go! Tomorrow!" He leapt off the bed and rushed downstairs to collect his stuff, leaving Riku standing in one spot with a completely stunned look about him.

"What… just happened?" These mood swings were getting too wild and unpredictable. "Just a phrase…" This had become Riku's mantra as of late. "Wakka's right… just a phase…"

OOOoooOOO

Come Monday morning, Sora was more than excited about returning to school. He was giddy like a teen girl on the first day of high school. Riku shook his head at the younger man's antics. What kind of grieving was that? The weird thing was that midway to school during the ride Sora suddenly went very quiet and the color seemed to drain from his face. It was like he had been told he was being taken to an execution chamber. But he gave no other sign of discomfort and when they arrived, he made no attempt to run away, so Riku was thankful. He didn't want another incident like the one with Tidus and Wakka.

Riku and Sora were walking the monotonous hallways of their college campus, making their way to their first class. They took their regular seats in the lecture hall and got out some paper and a pencil. Sora immediately got to work before the professor even arrived. Riku shrugged it off, assuming that he was just catching up on work they had missed. He did, however, keep a keen eye on the younger boy. Sora's attitude and general aura suggested he was over Kairi's death. It even appeared as though it never happened in Sora's mind. Yes, Riku was definitely concerned…

Sora's activities carried on into their next class. His movements were robotic and he walked from place to place with an unconscious look to him. Before the professor's arrival, Sora would be working fervently on some notes or an assignment. Riku never thought to look over and see what it was he was doing until they reached their third class and Sora hadn't said a word since they arrived in the building.

"What are you working on?" Riku asked casually. Sora shrugged, then blinked as if he were coming out of a trance. Riku eyed him and then peeked at the paper under his hand. What he expected to see was words. What he actually saw was another thing entirely.

Strange doodles of odd faces, macabre and horror style, dead bodies and pools of black ink blood. Even stranger were the rune symbols and characters that weren't any recognizable language, and anything written in English were nonsensical words juxtaposed together in a string of unintelligible sentences. It made Riku's spine shiver. Was Sora even capable of drawing such grotesque and questionable artwork?

"What… is that?" he asked slowly. Sora blinked a few more times, as if seeing the paper properly for the first time.

"I don't know…" he replied. "Did I do that?" Riku stared wide-eyed at Sora. Was this kid for real? Riku carefully pulled the paper away from Sora and folded it up.

"No…" he replied, hoping to quell any inner turmoil that Sora might be experiencing. "You didn't." Sora's eyebrows showed his confusion. After a few minutes, the professor arrived and began his lecture on society through the ages.

About midway through the class, Sora felt a tap on his shoulder from the row behind him.

"Hey, got a pencil?" asked a male voice. Sora nodded and dug around his backpack to retrieve a spare pencil. When he turned to pass it, he was face to face with a very dead and very rotting face. Sora yelled in surprised and ducked under his desk, earning many strange and confused stares. Someone nudged Sora but he would not budge, his heart still racing from the corpse sitting behind him. The nudging got more persistent. Why wasn't the dead thing taking a hint? Sora was terrified!

"Sora!" yelled a familiar voice. Sora peeked between his fingers at the source of the voice. Riku was the only person standing above him. No dead face, no rotting maggoty flesh. Riku offered him his hand.

"Where'd it go?" the brunette asked in a shaky voice. Riku gave a quizzical look.

"Where'd what go?" he questioned. Sora looked around nervously.

"The body. That… thing! You couldn't have missed it! It was rotting and gross and… It was right here!" He pointed at the empty seat directly behind his own. Many of the students were still staring at him. "It was here! Where'd it go? How could you have not seen it?" He was getting belligerent. The looks he was getting from everyone suggested they didn't believe him. Riku tried to hush him and offered him to sit down.

"Sora, there wasn't anything behind you," he tried to explain as calmly as possible. "You were working, you pulled a pencil from your bag, and then you screamed and ducked under your desk." Sora's mouth dropped open. How could Riku say that?

"No! I'm not crazy! I saw it! You're all just lying! You saw it too! Why are you lying?" He was getting paranoid again. They were all lying. That had to be it. But what could they gain from it? His humiliation, perhaps? Sora glared at Riku. That had to be it. Just another way to best him. Sora grabbed his backpack and without another word, he left the lecture hall with plenty of stares trailing after him. As soon as he was gone, the students began whispering. Riku shook his head, grabbed his bag, and ran after the distraught brunette.

"Sora, wait!" he called as he charged through the halls. Sora ignored him. "Sora, just hold on a minute!" What could Riku say? He certainly didn't believe that there had been a random body in the classroom, but he didn't want to hurt his best friends' feelings. And if Sora was starting to see things, there was definitely something wrong. Not just a phase.

They had just about reached the main exit when Sora stopped and turned on the spot. His face was blank and his eyes were tired.

"If you're my friend, you'll just take me home…" he muttered as he slid to the ground. Riku rushed to his side and helped him up. He thought to bring him to the nurse's wing, but he figured all Sora needed was some sleep. The poor kid hadn't slept in nearly a week. Maybe that was just it. Insomnia sometimes caused brief hallucinations. Yeah…

Riku hoisted one of Sora's arms around his shoulder as he grabbed him around the waist and carried him out the exit and towards the parking lot.

"This seems familiar…" he mused aloud. "I remember a time when you had to carry me like this…" He heard Sora chuckle. "I'm returning the favor…"

"Does this mean…" Sora mumbled. "…there will be a door to light? I need some light right about now…" Riku didn't know whether that was a joke or not, so he remained silent. Once they reached the car and drove off, Sora went back into his reclusive state.

OOOoooOOO

The evening after school, the two said nothing about the incident. Sora went straight to his room to hide while Riku prepared dinner. The two didn't say much of anything at all during dinner and Sora was back in his room after it was done. Riku could only speculate what was going through the younger man's head. It was difficult to tell if he was getting better or getting worse. Riku knew that whatever pain he felt about Kairi's death, it was three times worse for Sora.

The next day, Riku was surprised to see Sora up and ready for more college classes.

"How else am I supposed to get a good education?" he asked cheerfully. Riku was nervous but he didn't object. As they drove to the campus, Sora rambled on about unimportant topics, like the weather and the ocean. The way he was continuously talking in one long unbroken sentence, it was almost like he was trying to overpower someone else's voice or prevent anyone from interrupting. So Riku let him ramble.

When they arrived, their first class was a quiet study period for the students. The professor asked at the very beginning of the class that there be no chitchat of any kind. When she sat and the legs of her chair finished creaking, the classroom was completely silent. Not a single sound could be heard besides the ticking of the clock, the soft scribbling of pencils and pens, and the occasional page turning. Sora sighed contently. This was what he needed. Just a little peace and quiet.

And then he heard them. Vague whispers. Sora glanced at the professor. She didn't seem to notice. Typical. Teachers never notice when the bad apples act up. Sora grumbled under his breath and went back to reading his textbook. The whispers continued and grew a little louder. Sora placed his book down a little too hard and looked around. Where were those voices coming from? Just ignore them. Yeah right…

Finally, after fuming silently for 5 minutes, Sora nudged Riku. He needed someone to vent to, even if it accomplished nothing.

"You hear that?" he whispered, glancing around. "Can you believe the nerve of some people?"

"What people?" Riku replied in a sleepy voice. He looked around as well. "I don't…I don't hear anything."

"Shh!" was the shrill response of the professor. Riku and Sora ducked their heads down in apology.

"The whispers…" Sora reiterated. "Someone's talking."

"Yeah, you. You're gonna get us in trouble."

"Shh!" Riku and Sora ducked their heads down in apology.

"It's not me, Riku. Can't you hear them?"

"Right now you're the only one whispering. And getting caught, I might add."

"Shh!" Riku and Sora ducked their heads down in apology.

Sora muttered unhappily and went back to his work. The whispers were getting loud and annoying, and Riku must've been deaf not to hear them. He was probably just pretending, like the incident with the decaying corpse yesterday. But these voices had to be real. They were loud! And close! And real!

"Dammit, would you just shut up!" Sora yelled, leaping to his feet. The whole class stared at him. The professor seemed outraged. Riku cowered his head. Sora was breathing heavily in anger.

The whispers were gone. The stares were wide. Sora grabbed his bag, muttering that he was going to find a quieter place to study and let the door slam as he rushed out.

Riku did not see Sora until their next class together, University English. It seemed that Sora had calmed down somewhat enough to endure more human contact. He didn't say a word during the first half of the class, he just sat, listened, and took notes whenever he felt a need to. He felt his eyelids droop somewhat.

Man, I'm tired…

Sora shook himself awake. He couldn't go falling asleep in the middle of class. What if he had another nightmare? What if he spoke in his sleep and everyone found out the ugly truth?

"Here we have the adverb, 'brutally murdering', assisting in the description of the verb, enhancing this sentence…" the professor lectured. Sora zoned out briefly. "Now who can identify the compound verb in this sentence?" Sora began unconsciously writing. "Good, the compound verb in 'He will go to jail for brutally murdering Kairi' is 'will go'." Sora's eyes blurred. Did the professor just say Kairi's name? Who was he talking about? Did he know? "Now here's an a example of a basic 'proper noun and verb' sentence." The professor turned and began writing on the chalkboard. "Sora… killed… Kairi…" Sora's eyes shot up.

What?

Sure enough, the words 'Sora killed Kairi' were written on the board and the professor went on. Sora scanned the class. No one seemed the least bit alarmed or affected. Sora looked at Riku. The silver-haired man was twirling a pencil with his fingers. Sora's eyes shot back to the front.

"The identifying verb here is 'killed'," the professor continued. His hair flickered from gray to light blonde briefly. Sora bit his bottom lip until he tasted blood. "Now which proper noun is the victim…" The words on the board began the bleed. The professor slowly turned around, his piercing blue eyes looking right at Sora. "…and which one is the accused?" Those icy blue eyes, the cool pale blonde hair, flipped as if by the wind to the right side of his head. That face… his face.

His other…

"Roxas!" Sora shouted, getting to his feet. Everyone looked at Sora. The professor smiled politely; his features were that of a middle-aged man with graying hair. He didn't seem at all disturbed by Sora's outburst.

"Sora, the answer is 'preposition'. But good effort, regardless." He turned back to the board. The words were gone. Instead, the word 'of' was written in their place.

"Wha…?" What happened to the words? What happened to Roxas?

"Sora, sit down," said a feminine voice. Sora glanced at Kairi and sat down. Then he leapt from his chair, realizing who was sitting next to him, and screamed hysterically, multiple times.

All eyes were on Sora. He blinked. Kairi was gone. This was too much. He slowly deposited his things into his bag and raised his hand.

"Yes, Sora?" said the professor.

"May I be excused?" Sora mumbled in a monotonous way.

"Of course." Sora rose from his seat and stumbled down the steps of the lecture hall, escaping into the hallway and away from everyone's stares. He wandered down a few halls and one might think he'd simply leave the premises, but instead, he found himself in line at the Student Services wing. When he reached the desk, he smiled at the woman.

"Hi, my student ID is 477993. I'd like to request some time off." The woman nodded and she typed a few things into her computer.

"Length?"

"Two weeks."

"Reason?"

"Personal stress." Sora's smile faltered.

"Alright, you're all set up."

"Thank you."

OOOoooOOO

Later in the afternoon, Riku came home to see Sora sitting patiently in front of their flat on the porch. Riku gave him a look that said 'Why?' and Sora shrugged.

"I forgot my key inside," he answered the unasked question. Riku nodded and unlocked the front door, letting them both in.

"So why'd you run out?" Riku asked casually. Sora shrugged. "What was that whole Roxas thing about?" Sora shrugged. "Sora, talk to me. What's going on?" Sora sat at the kitchen table.

"Why should I? You wouldn't believe me anyway." Riku was hurt by that comment, but didn't let it show on the outside.

"Sora, I need to understand what's wrong in order to help you." Sora pouted. He was just so tired and so numb at the same time. He wanted nothing more than to lay down and not awake for a very long time, and he didn't want to experience anything during that time.

"I'm taking two weeks off classes."

"Why?"

"Because… everyone keeps looking at me. It's like they all know."

"The only reason they keep looking at you is because you keep having episodes." Riku kneeled next to Sora. "What did you see today? Was it Roxas?" Sora bit his lip.

"Yes…" Suddenly he started laughing. "Of course! If anyone knew I killed Kairi, it would be him!" Riku grabbed Sora by the shoulders.

"Don't say that. It was an accident. You didn't mean to kill her." Sora shrugged away.

"Doesn't change that it happened." Then he focused in on Riku's eyes. "You saw him, right?" The older man sighed and shook his head no. He couldn't lie. "He was right at the front. Don't tell me you didn't see him. He wrote on the board 'Sora killed Kairi'. Didn't you see that?"

"No, I'm sorry to say I didn't."

"What about Kairi? Tell me you saw her! She was right there!"

"Sora, none of that happened. I think you're just tired…"

"No, you're the one who's tired! I know what I saw!"

"Just think for one moment!" Riku snapped, quickly losing his patience. "This is crazy. Roxas couldn't have been at the front of the room because he's part of you! And Kairi couldn't have been there because she's dead! Don't you get it?" Sora shook his head stubbornly and stood.

"You're the crazy one!" Sora pushed Riku out of the way and rushed up to his room. Riku gaped at his retreating form. He couldn't deny the truth anymore. He couldn't just brush this off as a phase.

Without a doubt, Sora was losing it.

And there wasn't a thing Riku could do about it, short of sending him away to an institute and committing him. But would that be any better than letting him get arrested? Riku clenched his fist in determination. No, he was going to protect Sora, even if the boy didn't want it. Riku was not about to lose Sora to the police or his own inner demons.

But how could Riku fight something that wasn't there?

OOOoooOOO

A/N: I really don't mean to make Riku come off as a heartless guy. He's just trying to protect his friend. He in no way means to sully Kairi's memory. And sorry about making Sora so awkward, but people with mental problems often undergo serious personality changes. Don't worry, though. I won't use that as a crutch and completely revamp Sora's personality.