Title: Reckless

Characters/Pairings: Tsunade, Jiraiya/Tsunade

Summary:

A moment of weakness.

The wind picked up and, really, they weren't as refreshing or as cool as she really wanted them to be. The grass swayed and tickled and made the hokage's skin itch. She sighed.

Truthfully, Tsunade never really liked lying on grass, or fields, or anything else like that. But she just wants rest. She just wants to be alone and take a breath, or maybe a number of them.

She looked at the sky with squinted eyes. The clouds are passing by and, even though she can't see the sun, the sky is still so bright and so blue. Looking at the sky always made her feel idle, she smiled. But everything knocked from the back of her mind, and she's awake again.

She closes her eyes with eyebrows knitted. She's wanted a time to think, but it turns out, she's not ready to think just yet, either. She tugs on the grass and the sigh she sighs comes out sad and heavy. Her eyes are forced to look upwards.

Why..., she frowns, Why so early? And she feels like laughing. Early? There was nothing early about today, or yesterday, or last month, or last year. Fuck, not even five years ago. It's been long, much too long, and hell, it didn't feel like it.

She would've laughed now, if there wasn't a disgusting taste at the bottom of her throat. The clouds slowed and the damned white reminded her of his hair. God knows what she feels about that, what she feels about him. She loves him, she hates him, she tolerates with him, she just...he's him and she's her, and that was the only thing that ever mattered.

"You're...you're a...well, you're something, aren't you?" She meant to say bitch, bastard. She wanted to say bastard, but she can't, and she didn't want to....Really. She wanted to talk to him with ease and a light heart and a smile, no matter how small. She bit her lip and took a sharp breath. "Just...fuck you, you know that? You left everyone, just like that. You left Naruto. You left me, for damn Christ's sake! Can't you just stop that for once?" She glared at the clouds as if they were him, and she could almost hear his chuckled. "You're not the hero anymore, you're not," she paused. Stupid tears. "You're not responsible for everything. You didn't have to," she sighed, "to kill yourself, just like that. You were so useless back then, why did you have to learn? Why did you have to believe yourself to be a hero?"

She closed her eyes and forced out a smile. "I just want to be...to be happy," and she choked on the last word, "I want to talk to you and be alright, for on goddamn time. And not...not be frustrated, or feel like," her smile grew and the tears were gathering, "...like I want to kill you again."

She hoisted herself up and pretended she was fine. She should be used to it by now, she should be able to deal with this better. But every time, every fucking time she feels like she was young again, and she was holding the burden of living through the first death of someone she loved. She hated the vulnerability.

The ends of her mouth twitched up when the wind picked up and she could almost hear him chuckling at him. He's finally seen her all riled up again.

She laughed and choked on a sob at the same time. "Shut up, idiot."

The wind brushed her hair off her ears and she heard him murmur. "Only if you smile for real this time."

But the only thing she was able to do was cry.

These are a bunch of drabbles I think of randomly. Half the time, the characters are strangers to me. Naruto is the kind of anime that has every character and every relationship you can possibly think of (or atleast, it comes close) so I decided to write down teh good ones and make them fanfiction and post them. :D

I dunno. I'm weird. I thought of this while I was in Church (^^; 'scuse me), with exactly Tsunade in the picture. I dunno.

I think I just like the thought that even Tsunade can have a moment of weakness. That, or I'm just sadistic .