This is for Simonetta! Happy Birthday gorgeous! love you :)

Part 2 - I've Been On My own

"Since when do you 'get out'?" Bailey asked Addison as the redhead retreated from a screaming patient and moved to the nurses station,

"Clearly I'm not myself today," Addison sighed,

"Never would have figured Mark Sloan to be your type."

"He's not," Bailey made a face, "He's not. What is he doing here? He's not supposed to be here. I can't have him here. He's supposed to be in New York. I can't… I can't function with him here. I'm a professional here, people respect me here but when he's here I'm just, I'm-"

"The woman who gets the hots for man candy and cheats on her husband?" Bailey asked,

"That is rude." Addison said, "And unkind, and completely true. What am I going to do?"

"For starters, you can keep you can keep your knees closed in his presence."

"Miranda,"

"You asked. And also, you can remember that no man, not Derek, not Mark, defines who you are."

Addison sighed, as the resident walked away. Miranda was right, no man defined her, a woman did. Meredith did. She straightened up and walked through the hospital, she would needed to find Meredith. She needed to talk to her.

She found Meredith's room and stoped still, what if she went in there and Meredith told her she was pregnant. What if Meredith really was a second Mark. She wouldn't survive that, she wouldn't be able to-

"Addison!" Meredith had seen her pacing, "Addison!"

The redheaded attending took a deep breath and stepped into the room, "You bellowed," she asked, walking into the room and taking the chart from a nurse who left the room,

"Hi."

"You certainly are, aren't you." Addison sighed, she looked down and read through the chart quickly, "but you're not pregnant."

"No." Meredith shook her head, "You'd need a penis to get me pregnant Addison, and you don't have one of them, I've checked."

Addison shook her head with a relieved smile and sat on the edge of the bed, "Have you now?"

Meredith smiled, "I love you."

"Hm," Addison reached out and cupped Meredith's cheek in her palm, "I love you too."

"How did you know Derek was the one?"

"I'm sorry?" Addison frowned,

"I know he's not anymore and you're not in love with him or anything. Nothing. No… thing." Meredith paused, "What was I saying?"

"Derek."

"Right… I want to be your one, but you should know right? You do, right?"

Addison sighed sadly, "I know." she whispered, "I know." She continued to caress the side of Meredith's face, her hand moving to brush back a few stray blonde locks, "You look beautiful today."

Meredith grabbed Addison's hand and squeezed it, "I love you." she grinned, "I'm so very in love with you Addison Forbes Montgomery-No-Longer-Shepherd."

Addison laughed, "I love you too." she smiled, "but I have patients. I'll check in on you later." She glanced around and risked giving Meredith a quick kiss on the lips before she stood up and left the room.

Addison fell out of her day dream as Amelia appeared in her doorway, "Uhh, Addison?" she asked, frowning slightly, "Did you hear me?"

Addison's eyes snapped to hers, "What?"

"I asked if you were coming," Amelia was dressed in a black and white bikini that emphasised her curves in her hand she had a stripped beach towel and a bottle of tanning oil,

"Oh," Addison smiled, "yea, I'll be there in a minute."

Amelia didn't move, she just smirked curiously at Addison and leant against the wall, "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," the redhead turned her back to Amelia and pulled a red bikini top from a drawer,

Amelia sighed, "You can tell me you know, I mean it is pretty obvious."

Addison shot around to look at her ex-sister-in-law, her red bikini bottoms clutched tightly in her ghost white hands, "What's obvious?"

"You," Amelia stated, "And her. You have a… history."

Addison started to laugh nervously, "Me and Meredith? What are you, we don't have a- a history, I mean we knew each other, but we don't, we never-"

Amelia smirked, she moved and sat on Addison's bed, "Well you two must have been close. She's been sleeping with you for the last week,"

"We haven't-"

"I meant actual sleep," Amelia smirked, "but if you're correcting me then-"

"No!" Addison sat down, "We're not having sex, and we're not together."

"I just thought you were friends who went through a rough patch, I never said anything about you and her being a couple." Amelia smiled,

"But you just-" she cut herself off, "We're not a couple," Addison enthused, "We're not."

"Anymore." Added Amelia,

"I-" Addison sighed and gave in, "anymore."

Amelia laughed, "I knew it," she grinned, "You're a naughty girl Addie, sleeping with Derek's intern."

"She's not an intern." Addison snapped, "And she doesn't belong to Derek, he doesn't own her."

The brunette smirked, "You're a little sensitive, a bit possessive of her," she teased, "What happened anyway? Did she go back to him?"

"No," Addison looked down at her hands awkwardly, "I don't think so."

"Did you love her?" Addison didn't say anything, Amelia frowned, "Do you love her?"

"I…" Addison faulted,

"Addison, if you're still in love with her, you have to tell her."

"She's leaving in a week Amelia,"

"Exactly,"

"No." Addison stood up, "I can't do that to her. I can't."

"If you don't, I will."

Amelia left the room and Addison stared after her, spluttering her name. She groaned and stripped herself of her clothes before pulling on her bikini and a white wrap-around dress. With a sigh the redhead walked out of her room and down the stairs until she reached the back porch. As she moved closer to the her two friends and guests she caught a bit of what they were saying,

"Wow, you look hot," Meredith was grinning as she looked Amelia up and down, "Good looks must run in the Shepherd family."

"You look pretty hot yourself," Amelia replied with a mischievous smile, "I can see what Addie sees in you,"

Addison groaned quietly under her breath and plastered a fake grin on her face, "Hey,"

Amelia and Meredith turned to look at her, the brunette smirking and the blonde staring slack jawed. Meredith's eyes feasted on the sight in front of her. Addison was unwrapping her dress, and the fabric slipped off her shoulders to the porch floor. Underneath the fallen fabric Meredith devoured the sight of creamy exposed skin, Addison's curves perfectly hugged by the red material. A familiar tingling in the pit of her stomach made Meredith away she was staring at Addison quite pointedly with lustful eyes. She snapped her gaze to meet Addison's.

Addison bit her lip, "Can we talk?"

"I'll just…" Amelia pointed behind her and with a big grin walked away, Meredith's mind only half registered her departure, the rest of her focus on Addison alone,

"Yeah," the blonde nodded, "We can talk."

"Let's just…" Addison took Meredith's hand and led her in the opposite direction to Amelia, over to the water. They walked slowly along the sand, their hands still joined until they stepped into the cool water and Addison sat down, stretching her legs out, allowing the small waves to wash over her. Meredith sat next to her and bit her lip slightly her hand brushing against Addison's under the water.

"I got a call." Addison said eventually, "Yesterday, while you were out with Betsy."

"Oh?"

"It was Charles Garcia; the chief of surgery at UCLA Medical Centre. He wants you to call him back."

Meredith nodded, "I was… I was going to tell you."

"Were you?"

"Of course I was going to tell you."

Addison didn't look at her, "Why?" Meredith opened her mouth in confusion but Addison cut her off, "Why are you staying?"

"Betsy… I can't take her to Seattle. She has friends here, she has Naomi here. And…" she broke off. She couldn't say that. She couldn't admit that the only thing keeping her from taking Betsy back home was the woman sitting next to her in the sand.

"And?"

Meredith stood up and walked away without answering. She walked until she was waist deep in the salty water, the half waves moving up and down, passing her as she dived under and stood back up, flicking her hair out of her face was a spray of water.

A hand found hers and Meredith was pulled to her left, so now facing Addison, their bodies almost touching, the redhead looking deep into Meredith's eyes. "And?" Addison whispered,

Meredith swallowed, "Addie, I can't say it."

"Meredith, if you have something to say, please, just tell me."

"You… Addison." Meredith bit her lip, "I… I-"

"Aunty Meredith!" The two women snapped out of their secluded bubble and turned to see Betsy running through the shallower water towards them, the girl swam forward and grabbed Meredith's hands, "You have to be judge!" she exclaimed, "Amy and I had a sandcastle making competition!"

Addison watched as Betsy pulled Meredith back in the direction she'd come and slowly waded after them. For the next hour or so Addison sat on a towel next to Amelia, drinking a martini and pretending to read a book, whilst in actual fact she was watching Meredith running and jumping around with Betsy, the two of them laughing and smiling as they played.

"How's the book?"

"What?" Addison looked over at Amelia who was smirking at her,

"That good, huh?" she grinned, "Must be some read. What's it about?"

Addison glared at her, "Shut up."

Amelia laughed, "You're a really bad actress you know Addie? You haven't turned a page in that book since you opened in."

Meredith grinned walking over to them, she glanced down at the open book and laughed, "She's right Addie." Addison blushed faintly but Meredith grinned, "Right, I'm going back inside," she told them, "But Betsy here really wants to go collect some sea shells and she's convinced Amy does too, isn't that right baby girl?"

Betsy grinned and nodded energetically, Amy raised her eyebrows, "Then I guess I'm going sea-shell hunting." She stood up and held her hand out for Betsy, the girl took it and excitedly ran off, pulling Amelia after her.

Addison downed the last of her drink, "Do you want one?" she asked, standing up, her empty glass in hand,

"No thanks." they walked back to the porch brushing sand off their legs and feet before stepping into the house, "I'm going to," Meredith motioned the stairs, "take a shower, need to wash this sand off properly."

Addison nodded and walked into the kitchen, placing her glass by the sink. Above her she heard the bathroom door close and the shower start, she bit her lip, a little… fantasy, couldn't hurt anyone. Her eyes fluttered closed and she absorbed herself into a mix of memory and imagination. The memory of Meredith naked and soapy, her wet body under the stream of the shower weaved in and out of her mind. She pictured stepping into the shower, naked herself, and pressed Meredith against that tiled wall, their breasts pressed together, her left thigh between Meredith's legs, Meredith's left thigh between hers.

She could almost feel Meredith's lips against hers, taste her sweet coffee infused lips, her lush neck, her breasts, her back, her stomach, her thighs, her.

Addison's eyes snapped open.

Maybe a little fantasy could hurt. Removing her hand from the inside of her bikini bottoms Addison grabbed a tissue and headed upstairs to her room. She stripped herself of the red fabric with a side glance she noticed that the second door in the room, the door to her en suite was unlocked. She also registered that the sound of the shower was coming form behind that dor, which meant Meredith had chosen that room to shower in, rather then the bathroom down the hall.

The images of wet naked and showering Meredith invaded the redhead's mind, and before she could stop herself, or even realise what she was doing, she had walked into the bathroom and slid the steamy glass shower door open.

Meredith jumped in surprise then stared at Addison in disbelief, "Addison?"

The red head stepped into the shower, her hands found Meredith's wrists and raised them above her head as she pressed the blonde back against the cool tiles. Their lips met and Addison ran her tongue against Meredith's lips seeking access which Meredith gave easily, a soft moan purring in the back of her throat as she kissed Addison back, her own tongue dancing with Addison's.

Slowly the redhead released Meredith's wrists, her hands moving down Meredith's arms, one settling on her right breast, the other moving down her back and over her ass, then along her thigh, lifting Meredith's left leg so it wrapped around Addison's hip.

"Addison," Meredith moaned, "Addison, please."

Addison's brain short circuited at Meredith's pleads, she squeezed the blondes nipple and nipped at her ear, her left hand moving from the back of Meredith's thigh to settle between the blonde's legs, her finger tips stroking and circling Meredith's clit.

The resident pulled Addison closer, clutching to her and moaning deliciously against her ear, "Addie," she panted,

Addison's fingers thrust into her and circled them, she pumped them in and out of the woman she loved so much, hitting her g-spot each time. "Addie, I'm going to…"

Addison pulled back and let her free hand move to cup Meredith's cheek, "Open your eyes," she whispered softly, Meredith did and lost her self in Addison's sparkling blue orbs. Addison thrust her fingers harder and she watched as an expression of pure pleasure formed on Meredith face as she came, Addison's name caught in her throat.

Addison closed the gap between them, her lips claiming Meredith's as she rode through the blonde's orgasm with her.

When it was over Addison pulled away, Meredith was leaning almost all her weight against the wall, her eyes were closed and her breathes her long and deep, the remnants of a smile blessing her face.

Addison stepped back. She walked away moving out of the bathroom and into her bedroom where she grabbed her robe and threw it on. She heard Meredith call out to her but didn't reply. Instead she walked down the hall and into the other bathroom, making sure to lock the door before she slid down to the floor, her back resting against it.

Her left hand still glistened with the blonde's juices.

Raising her fingers to her mouth Addison's eyes fluttered closed, her mouth watering at the sweet taste of Meredith in her mouth. Licking her fingers clean Addison sighed, she stood up and moved to the mirror. She wasn't sure what to feel. She'd lost control of herself and ravished Meredith in the shower, how was she supposed to explain that to her. How would she be able to look at her after this.

She had embarrassed herself. And if there had been even the slightest chance of reconciling with Meredith, there definitely wasn't any now.

tbc...

comments are welcome :P

2/?