A/N: I don't own Avatar.

Chapter 4

"Azula..." That damn voice called out to me again.

I'm awake now, packing my things to leave my nation, to figure out my place and plan how I would take what is mine back again. That voice keeps haunting me, I'm not insane...I'm NOT insane. Ignoring everything else around me I gathered some things and threw them onto my bed carelessly, very out of character for me but after my meeting with my father I just stopped caring so much about my organization skills.

"Azula love...what are you doing?" She asked me.

Dropping my things on the bed and floor I turned sharply, seeing and hearing nothing, no one, I could feel my heart pounding through my chest quickly enough that I thought I would faint from the rush. Taking a few steps I found myself aligned perfectly with my mirror. It was history repeating itself in a hallucination. I was watching myself hack my bangs apart, eyes wide and crazy, I hadn't slept before the end of the war, not really. Everyone was against me, everyone wanted me dead. I was just my fathers messenger but I carried myself like a queen, a warrior, but I wasn't any of that, I was just a messenger, and I knew with out my father my subjects would be out for blood. Mine.

"I couldn't let that happen..." I assured myself. "They would have done away with me I know it...I know it...What I did was for the best for my safety..."

"Azula...you need to stop leaving things all over the floor."

"What?" I turned again quickly to my bed and saw no one but the clothes I dropped on the floor were folded neatly on my bed. "What the fuck is going on?" I spun around more looking for anyone that could be in the room. I could hear myself breathing heavily, as though I were out of my own body watching and listening the panting grow harder.

There was a knock at the door and a voice calling for me, I could not answer, it wasn't the voice from before but I knew someone else was there with me...like a ghost...I stared at her door for a moment, shaking a bit.

"My beautiful little girl..." The voice came from behind me, I turned again to face my mirror and I saw her standing there with the same frown she always always looked at me with. The one that said I was a monster when she wouldn't say it herself. I hated that and I hated her. My mother.

"What do you want from me?"

"I just want to see you off, is that so wrong?"

"You have no right to be here. You were banished!" Her reflection was behind me but it would be like before, I would turn to see if she were really there but she wouldn't be. This reunion wouldn't be as short as our last one. I wanted answers. Closure. My fucking mind back.

"Don't be my mother." Of all the things I could have said, that I wanted to say, that was all that would come out of me. With her usual frown she just stared at me, I hate that she stares at me like that she never says anything why doesn't she say anything? FUCKING SAY SOMETHING TO ME! I am NOT a little girl anymore or a fucking mind reader, do I look like a mind reader mommy dearest because I AM NOT! I could hear myself screaming at her in my head, tears started to burn at my eyes but I refused to let them fall as I rubbed my eyes red. My door opened, must be my so called escort, I knew Ty Lee was there but I was busy, and in the back of my head I figured she knew that.

I didn't turn to look at her, my gaze was locked on my mirror, on my mother.

They looked like they were standing next to each other but I knew they weren't. I knew my mother wasn't really there. The only thing worse than a lucid dream is a lucid day dream. If there even is such a thing...

"My goodness is that Ty Lee? You girls have grown into such beautiful women...I knew you would."

"Shut up." I said in my head. Some how I knew she could hear me because her face changed from that typical frown to one of shock that I would talk back to her. Why would she be shocked? I am a monster after all and all monsters bite back.

With that she just turned from me and just like six years ago she disappeared. My entire body shook and unwillingly able to fight it again I allowed only one tear to fall from my eye. Father was right I suppose, I was a failure, he didn't want me, my brother didn't want me just as she didn't want me either. I don't need love.

Why does Ty Lee have horrible timing? Someone please enlighten me as to what the hell is going on in this girls mind? She called my name once more and took my hand as she did so. Why does she torture me this way? She betrayed me and now here she is pretending it's like old times where she could just freely touch me like it meant something. It meant nothing to me anymore. My mind was lost as a result of her betrayal. If my wrists weren't still sore I would set her hair on fire and laugh.

My body shook harder now from the frustration, like the fit I had after I was defeated, the fire in my stomach ached to get out as it did before and I could almost feel the flames in the back of my throat rising to beam out of me. I tried to fight it off and the pain in my ankles finally gave way and I collapsed. Ty Lee caught me and held onto me as I continued mildly convulsing.

"Azula what happened?" She asked me, expecting an answer I obviously wasn't going to give her.

I remained silent and wanted to push away from her, but I couldn't, I missed this so much. The way she would hold me when things got bad. I was dying to hold her back and just let it all out but I couldn't, my arms and wrists still hurt so much and I felt so helpless. I hated this feeling and it made me even more upset than I had started out.

"Talk to me...we're friends right?" She said.

Friends? She had to be joking! When she said that the first thought that rushed into my head was that day at The Boiling Rock, how she betrayed me, rendered me into a paralyzed state and why? To let a fugitive go! All in the name of love that wasn't her own. To save Mai and her beloved Zuko. In truth, I respected her loyalty to Mai but to physically take me down was such a huge mistake. She was supposed to be my friend too...FUCK! I just can't make sense of it! Of her stupidity! Why did she do this to me? Without saying a word to her I shook my head and forced myself to move away from her. Grabbing my things I stormed out of the room so I could at least have five more minutes without seeing her treacherous face before the horribly long journey.

On my way to the great door I was stopped by the guards, I was informed that with out my 'escort' I would not be able to leave the premises. Joy. So with out any other choice I stood there waiting for Ty Lee.

"Hey." Came the voice of my only brother.

I looked up at him, scowling a bit as usual, our eyes met and my scowl turned into a neutral face. Some how I could not muster up the energy to be upset with Zuko. He was giving me a chance at freedom and got m out of that cell.

"Hey." I nodded back at him.

We just stared at each other. I knew he wanted what was best for me, his foolish family values used to get him into trouble, he was always the one with the bigger heart and it used to be disgusting and annoying beyond reason. Because of his big heart however, I felt like I owed him something. A thank you...or an apology...both of which would still be hard to pull out but some how I knew he understood. He smiled at me a bit as Ty Lee finally came over. My eyes were still locked on Zuko.

"Goodbye for now, Azula." He said to me.

Ty Lee moved to open the door for me, I was hardly in the mood for her attempt at fixing what she broke between us and with any energy I had in me I waved a flame in front of her face, slightly injuring my wrist again. It was worth it.

Now some hours later we were on a boat on our way to the earth Kingdom. After a few days of silent sailing we were dropped off at the southeastern shoreline and continued our journey on foot. My silence eventually wore Ty Lee down, she tried making small talk with me but I refused to pay attention to her nonsensical ramblings and just kept moving. All I wanted to do was get to where I needed to be and be done with her.

"When are you going to stop being mad at me?" She begged.

"When I win the war." I replied as I rolled my eyes.

"But..." Here comes that dumb remark. "The war is over."

"Well then I guess that answers your question." I mocked her air headed voice.

The pain in my wrist still bothered me, I had been trying to massage the ache away since I put a flaming wall between me and my captor. I still felt so weak all over my body and I knew all of this walking wouldn't help. After a few more hours of travel the sun finally started to set and we found ourselves just a little bit away from the abandoned mining village that I first encountered the avatar in.

"We'll set up camp here." Ty Lee announced, dropping her things.

I placed my things down and watched as Ty Lee set up camp. She pitched a small tent and started to build a fire, when it came time to actually light it she looked to me for help looking from my eyes to my hands. It annoyed me because I frankly didn't want to help her. Then she gave me those pleading eyes of hers like a sad Rabaroo. Heavily sighing I took an uneasy stance and shot a few flames where she needed them and started a healthy looking fire.

"Thanks!" She said happily as I collapsed trying to hold my arms against my chest with out hurting them more.

"Whatever."

"What's with your wrists?" She asked, looking at me with some concern.

"They hurt."

"From what?" She scooted closer to me as I pushed myself up into a better sitting position.

"Out of practice." I lied. She knew I was lying, she always knew when I was lying and when I wasn't.

She didn't argue, instead she just shrugged and started making food over the fire. All the while I thought about escaping from her and traveling the Earth Kingdom on my own. After nearly taking it over I knew the land pretty well so getting around shouldn't be too hard. She offered me food but I refused.

"You need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry..." I put it bluntly. She seemed to get the idea and let it go.

Ty Lee was hardly the quiet type, she was fighting for herself for a while to say something to me. looking back and forth between me and her meager plate of food. Trying to find a relaxing position I yawned every now and then which gave her a window of opportunity to speak.

"Tired?"
Mid yawn I nodded, she cleaned off her plate and put it away.

"We'd better turn in for the night..we have a long day of travel ahead of us." She said as she went into the tent to remove her armor and war paint.

"Where are we headed from here?" I coldly called to her.

"We're going to continue to move to the northeast until we hit the capital." She stepped out of the tent in only her most casual and comfortable looking robes.

I was taken back at her unquestionable beauty, the very thing about her that sprung up all of my jealousy...not that I thought she looked better than me...but that someone would get to her before me. The robe was tight enough to show every curve on her body, but loose enough to look comfortable. Breathless, I looked away from her and nodded at her answer from before. She giggled at me, knowing why I looked away from her. Sitting beside me she looked at me closely with her usual smile.

"You ready to get some sleep?"

"In a little while." I answered almost nervously, trying to focus on my escape.

"Where does it hurt?" She changed the subject, taking one of my hands and gently massaging around the wrist.

I winced at the pain and tensed up a little more so at the fact that she was touching me. I didn't like to be touched, or helped. Ty lee has her way of over stepping my boundaries. "There...right there..." I said through my teeth as she pulled me a little closer and continued rubbing her fingers against my wrist and palm.

"No fire balls ok?" She said softly as heat began to rise in my hand like some involuntary fire bending would happen.

"Ok..." I said softly...floating into a memory of the past.

Just before conquering Ba Sing Se I started getting pains in my arms and legs from all of the fighting that we had done with the Avatar and his group. When it came down to the end of the day I found myself weak...and against my better judgement...a little helpless...I pushed myself too much as I would some times. I'm a prodigy, yes, but not invincible. When we finally returned to the palace I had a hard time moving around. Ty Lee being the good friend she was became increasingly worried about my health and came to see me often. Most of the time I was in bed trying to rest, did I mention she has horrible timing?

"What are you doing in bed Princess? You need to be out for Zuko's welcoming committee don't you?"

"In a little while..." I answered sounding more exhausted than usual and in pain.

"Why aren't you moving? What's wrong?" She rushed to the bed.

Managing myself into a sitting position I looked to her not as my loyal subject but my best friend, maybe she had an answer, a solution or even some comforting words to help me get passed this pain.

"My wrists hurt from the bending...I think I've reached a limit or something."

She smiled and sat beside me taking my hand and massaging it, claiming that I worked too hard and that I needed to take time to relax and have a little fun. The war would be fine with out me if I took a day off and things of that nature. As ridiculous as it all sounded it made me feel so much better.

"How does that feel?" She asked as she finished my second wrist.

"It's fine...I'll probably be able to fight again soon..."

"Take it easy ok? You're going to keep hurting yourself if you don't..." She said to me still smiling and leaned in closer to me playfully mocking my voice. "That's an order."

I smirked and looked down, a little embarrassed, did I really sound like that? No matter, when I looked up at her she leaned in further and left on my lips the softest of kisses which made me smile even more.

"Come on...let's get going."

Lost in a sea of reminiscence I found myself watching her sleep in our tent. Sitting up I sighed and thought again of her betrayal and how I should consider what I should do to reclaim the throne...

"Time to go..." I said to myself.

Lucky for me she sleeps like death. I was able to gather some of my things and take off into the night with no problem. To give myself an edge over her I walked all night and into the following morning before I found an abandoned cave and set up a small camp site for myself there. She'll be fine.